Chapter 26: Power Disparity?

July 1, 2000, Chicago, Illinois

“How did the game go?” Kara asked when I walked into the house just before lunch.

“They did exactly what Jesse said they were going to do - they went out in style.”

“Meaning?”

“They won 6-0. Nicole scored a natural hat trick in the first period. She got the last goal as well. Jesse stopped 29 shots, and Mikey blocked at least four. They’re having a team party at Coach’s house this afternoon.”

“But you had other plans?” Kara asked with a sly smile.

“I was thinking of taking Suzanne to the NIKA apartment after lunch. Abel left on Thursday, so it’s available.”

“And you’ll come back for Guys’ Night and Girls’ Night Out?”

“Yes. Jennifer said you guys are going to a place that doesn’t card except at the bar. Natalie said she’ll be here as well, but she doesn’t think Jack is ready to join the men.”

“What about Liz?”

“Yes. She also promised last night that she’d come to the house more often.”

“Good. Lunch will be ready in a few minutes.”

“OK. I’m going to my study to jot some things into my journal so I can expand on them later.”

I went to my study and managed to get some basic thoughts written before the doorbell rang, announcing Suzanne’s arrival.

“Hi!” she exclaimed when I opened the door.

“Hi! Come on in. Kara has lunch ready.”

She came into the house and followed me to the dining room where my daughters joined us. When we finished lunch, Birgit, Stephie, and Ashley cleaned up. They were being picked up by Kathy, who would arrive in a few minutes.

“I thought we’d go to an apartment my company keeps for visitors,” I said to Suzanne. “It’ll give us a bit more privacy.”

“And here I expected this to be a public deflowering!” she replied.

Kara’s eyes went wide and she gasped slightly.

“Cirque du Steve is crazy, but it’s not quite THAT crazy!” I replied.

Kara shot me a dirty look, but I was nearly certain Suzanne was teasing.

“Oh, right!” Suzanne laughed. “Two wives, seven kids, a live-in lover, other lovers, naked saunas, free-wheeling Rap Sessions, a couple of which have been naked, and girls offering to have sex with random virgin guys? I’d say it’s pretty crazy!”

“But are YOU that crazy?” I asked.

“I told myself when I decided to sign up that I was going to let you shape and mold me into the person I was meant by Fate to be, whatever that entailed.”

“And yet, you shouldn’t do anything that goes against your beliefs.”

“You mean the ones you said I needed to question constantly?” she answered quickly. “I thought a lot about that this week and decided I had to be just as open-minded as you are. As strange as this seems, I trust you completely. I want you to guide me and teach me, and I think that means setting aside pretty much any inhibitions or prejudices or conclusions that I’ve made. A blank slate to write on, if you will.”

“And why would you want that?”

“In the interactions we’ve had, you’ve shown me a different way. I’m the student; you’re the master. Consider it similar to your karate situation, or your relationship with your spiritual advisors and mentors.”

“I fought with them, struggled against them, and ignored them.”

“And how did that work out?” Suzanne asked with a slight smile.

“Let’s just say that there were plenty of times they should have hit me with a ‘clue-by-four’.”

“So why should I struggle when I believe I’ve come to the person who can guide me.”

“I’m no guru,” I replied.

“Oh no? How many people are you mentoring? I mean directly? Name them.”

“Melissa, Tara, Liz, Maria Cristina, Natalie, Nicole, Leigh, Ailea, and Samantha.”

“And others who you’re at least helping or guiding? Like that restaurant guy in Ohio? And all the kids who have been through your Rap Sessions? And those girls you’re teaching to program?”

“OK, OK!” I said waving my hands. “I have one very serious question, and please answer either ‘yes’ or ‘no’ - from last Saturday until today, did you talk with Kara when I wasn’t around?”

“No. Why?”

“I can explain later. Are you SURE that’s OK?”

“If you think it’s right for me.”

“And, hypothetically speaking, if I told you to jump off a cliff?”

“I didn’t say I was suspending common sense or going to engage in self-destruction!”

“And regrets?”

“If I understood what you said last Saturday, you learn lessons from mistakes. And if you don’t take chances because you’re trying to avoid mistakes, then you’ll miss opportunities.”

“I did say that,” I grinned. “But now we have a minor conundrum.”

“What’s that?” Suzanne asked.

“For Kara to watch, we’d need to get permission from Jessica, and also give Jessica the option as well. If you’re serious, that is.”

“If I am your student, then I take direction from you.”

“This is more than a bit weird,” I replied.

“How so?” Kara asked. “There’s only one difference, and it’s that Suzanne is acknowledging, up front, exactly what kind of relationship she’s going to have with you. I’d say rather than being weird, she’s on the first step to enlightenment.”

“I guess I called it weird because as you said, she’s the first to simply embrace the concept, completely and unreservedly, right out of the gate. But we do have the issue that Jess works today and tomorrow, tonight are the guys and girls gatherings, and tomorrow I have a mentoring session with Natalie and Nicole, and then we have our family dinner.”

“Neither Jess nor I work on Monday,” Kara said, “and NIKA is closed, right?”

“It is, and that’s fine if Suzanne is OK with waiting two more days.”

“If that’s what’s necessary, then yes,” Suzanne replied.

“Please don’t overdo the submissiveness,” I said. “I’m not looking for robots, automatons, or slaves. Keep it at student/master level, please.”

“Yes Master, I hear and obey!” Suzanne teased.

“Nice,” I replied, shaking my head in awe. “Now I just need to find a dozen kids like you every year, a mix of male and female, and I might actually be able to change the world.”

“That would be a good thing.”

“I’m curious what you plan to do during Senior year.”

“Study, apply to college, hang out with my friends, see you on my breaks. I assume you have email?”

“I do.”

“Me, too. We can keep in touch by email.”

“Do you have AOL Instant Messenger or ICQ?”

“AOL.”

“Then we can chat as well. I suppose given our planned activities are delayed, we’ll just hang out for the afternoon, have dinner with Jessica, and then you can hang out with the girls.”

“Cool!”

We had a good afternoon together, and Suzanne stayed at the house while Kara and I went to get Jessica and pick up Chinese food on the way back from the hospital. Fortunately, Jessica was finished on time and we could leave the hospital right away.

“Did you have a fun afternoon?” Jessica asked after we left.

“The situation developed in a very different way from what I expected,” I said.

“She changed her mind?”

“Not exactly,” I replied. “But her understanding of the situation is far deeper than I expected even after last Saturday. She made a suggestion, but I need to ask you about it.”

“What’s that?”

“She expected, and accepted that you and Kara would witness her being deflowered.”

“No way!” Jessica gasped. “Kara? Did you interfere?”

“NO!” Kara declared forcefully.

“Sorry,” Jessica replied apologetically. “It’s just ... well, history.”

“I know,” Kara sighed. “But honestly, I didn’t talk to her without Steve around.”

“And she just volunteered this?” Jessica asked skeptically.

“When I suggested we go to the NIKA apartment for privacy, she said she’d expected it to be public, implying you and Kara. I quizzed her and I’m satisfied it’s legitimate. She basically wants me as her guru, not just her mentor.”

“So just when Liz begins searching for her mate, you find a girl who not only isn’t planning on marrying or having kids, but is a virgin, AND is willing to fulfill Kara’s fantasy, without even knowing about it? You’re unbelievable!”

“So it would seem,” I replied sheepishly.

“I suggested Monday,” Kara said. “None of us work and it’s probably a good idea to use the apartment as he suggested.”

“Are you OK with this Jess?” I asked.

“I don’t see why not,” she replied. “I was OK with her being one of your long-term love affairs. And it should be interesting observing your technique. Kara, should we bring scoring cards, like they use in the Olympics?”

“Score it like the uneven bars?” Kara teased. “Mount and dismount, as well as difficulty, form, technique, and composition of the skills?”

“Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea,” I said.

“Worried about performance anxiety?” Jessica teased.

“Oh, sure,” Kara laughed. “He’s had sex with four girls who were all in the room at the same time and he’s going to have trouble performing one-on-one? Not to mention we watched him with Maria Cristina and she watched him with us!”

“And did anyone keep score?” I asked.

“A ‘2’ from the East German judge!” Kara teased.

“Even the East German judge wouldn’t rate me a ‘2’!” I protested.

“You could have an off day,” Jessica teased.

“Do NOT say that!” Kara exclaimed. “That happened once with Penny and we thought he was suicidal! Bethany drove down from Madison to kick his butt!”

“I don’t remember reading that,” Jessica said.

“It was in his journals,” Kara said. “Maybe three weeks before Bethany’s accident.”

“I think I was skimming at that point because I wanted to get to the good stuff!”

“You?!” I asked. “You think YOU are the good stuff?”

“Have you had better? Hmm?”

“Well...” I teased, leaving the thought hanging.

We walked into the Chinese restaurant where our order was just being brought out from the kitchen. I paid, we took the bags and headed home where the rest of the family, minus Matthew, had gathered. We had dinner and had just finished when our friends began arriving for Guys’ Night and Girls’ Night Out.

July 3, 2000, Chicago, Illinois

“We need to establish some ground rules,” I said as Kara, Jessica, and I ate breakfast on Monday morning.

“Ground rules?” Kara asked.

“Ground rules,” I replied. “Jessica suggested some in the past, and we should discuss them in advance so there aren’t any issues. For one, I plan to have music playing loud enough to drown out any whispered comments between the two of you or between Suzanne and me. And I’d like there to be no commentary, please, despite the teasing about Olympic judging.”

“I think he has a point,” Jessica replied. “It’s not really right for us to do anything but watch passively.”

“Am I at least allowed to get worked up?” Kara asked petulantly.

“Yes!” I replied. “But any activity to resolve that needs to take place in the other bedroom!”

Jessica laughed, “I promise to help you with your problem, Kara! Steve’s going to be busy!”

“As this is my fantasy, do I get to at least make some requests?”

“You may,” I replied. “But in the end, it’s up to Suzanne to decide.”

Kara laughed softly, “There is no way she’s going to say ‘no’ to anything you ask her to do.”

“Which is even more reason for me to exercise caution and good judgment,” I replied. “‘Round the world?”

“That would do,” Kara replied, her eyes twinkling.

“I do intend to take it slowly,” I said.

“Slowly?”

“Start on the couch with making out and progress to the main event. You remember the bases, right?”

“We never talked about things that way, but yes, I remember. Do the kids even use those anymore?”

“Not that I’m aware of,” I said. “But in general, they also aren’t nearly as adventurous as my friends and I were in eighth grade.”

“Have you talked to Jesse about it at all?” Jessica asked.

“I did, after the ‘Heather incident’ and then again last Saturday morning. There’s a distinction between the ‘cousins’ and his other friends, with the ‘cousins’ all being more like our kids. And Jesse’s struggles aren’t with finding willing partners, because I think he could easily do that. His mostly revolve around Francesca.”

“We agreed that Carol and Joan are morons,” Kara said. “He’s still planning to go see Larisa, right?”

“Absolutely, but remember, she’ll only be twelve in September. And Marta will be here this summer, and she just turned thirteen last month. And Amber hasn’t given up, but she only turns eleven this month.”

“So Kelly isn’t serious?” Jessica asked.

“I think both of them are thinking about Francesca, and that gives Kelly pause, not to mention she very likely got what Sweeney would call ‘bog-standard’ sex education.”

Jessica smirked, “So, shitty!”

I nodded, “Assuming that it’s related to ‘bog roll’, meaning TP, then that’s exactly right! Add in the complete and utter failure of parents to talk about it in any meaningful way, and you get what we see with Jesse’s peers.”

“You heard Bethany’s take on that on Saturday, right?” Kara asked.

I shook my head, “It’s crazy, but I understand where she’s coming from. When you deal with rape and abuse victims all the time, you start to see the world in those terms. She has a point about ‘power disparity’, which thankfully she mostly left out of her book for teens, but now she’s taking it too far. The idea that because the ‘cousins’ are so well-educated they have an improper power disparity over their uneducated friends is just plain nuts. And you heard me tell her what I thought.

“That said, we see what happens when there is a fundamental disagreement about appropriate behavior for kids. As I said to Bethany, the results LOOK like what she’s talking about, but not for the reasons she’s saying. To reveal a minor confidence, of which I will inform Jesse, Francesca was the instigator. I’m not saying Jesse resisted for even one second, or that he didn’t do things to encourage Francesca, but Carol’s insane idea that Jesse seduced and corrupted her innocent little girl is also just plain nuts!

“You also know that joke we told years ago about the little boy and little girl showing their private parts to each other in kindergarten, with the boy teasing that he has a penis, and the girl, being upset, asks her mother for a response, which is that with a vagina, she can get as many penises as she wants. THAT is the power disparity!”

“Says the man who gets ALL the vaginas he wants!” Kara teased.

“Good looking, successful, in great shape, erudite, and an inveterate flirt with the freedom to act?” Jessica asked with a silly grin. “Of COURSE he does! The only slightly annoying thing is when he wonders how he gets himself into those circumstances and acts like it’s not his fault!”

“Didn’t we have this discussion about the ‘vibe’?” I asked with a grin.

“ANOTHER attempt at plausible deniability for a behavior you embrace!”

“I didn’t realize it bothered you,” I said cautiously.

“It doesn’t really,” Jessica replied, “but you do have to admit you DO intentionally flirt and you’re VERY good at it.”

“I do, but that doesn’t absolve the girls from their responsibility for their actions. Or are you going down the Bethany route - I’m so experienced, so good-looking, so erudite, so expert at flirting, that I’m abusing the girls simply by giving them what they ask for?”

“No,” Jessica replied, “though I could probably concoct a scenario where that was the case. And I wouldn’t go TOO far down the ‘so good-looking’ path!”

“Ha! And I agree there are always ‘worst-case scenarios’, but let’s take Natalie as an example. The ONLY thing I did was listen to her, answer questions, and ask some of my own. And they were my usual questions trying to get her to come up with her own answers. I decidedly did NOT flirt with her, unless you call treating a fifteen-year-old as an adult ‘flirting’. And after her, I was very limited in who I was with. Beginning when I returned from Russia, there was a period of two-and-half years where I was only with you two, Maria Cristina, and Liz. Then back in January I was with Rachel, but you know the source of THAT encounter!”

“Your daughter giving away passes for ‘Expert Deflowerings’!” Kara teased.

“Now she’s MY daughter, Miss Troublemaker?” I asked with an arched eyebrow.

“Well, no,” Kara allowed with a smirk.

“Anyway, after Rachel was Misty, but that was something caused by another girl talking about my skills, and it percolated for three years before being consummated. If you recall, I told her ‘no’ and that I’d only consider it when she was seventeen. Other than inviting her to take karate lessons, which would have prevented what she wanted, I never talked to her and I never flirted with her.

“The same goes for Nicole, really. Natalie gave her all the details of what happened while we were in Russia, and Nicole decided she wanted exactly what Natalie had experienced, but told NOBODY about it. You saw how we interacted when the Heaths and Sarcus were here, and outside of that, the most I ever said to her was a sentence or two about how well she played in a game.

“And then there’s Harmony, who was NOT the result of me flirting. Well, yes, I did flirt with her, but somebody, or several somebodies actually, put the idea into HER mind and gave her what amounted to a ‘license to fuck’, not all that different from Birgit’s ‘Expert Deflowering’ coupons. Given the circumstances, I’d say she was the one flirting with me to get what she wanted. And that’s the sum-total of girls besides you two, Maria Cristina, and Liz for the past thirty months.”

“You sound almost defensive,” Jessica said. “I didn’t mean it as an accusation in that way.”

“Sorry, I wasn’t trying to defend myself, only to point out that until Suzanne, things had fundamentally changed from how they were before Natalie Bridget.”