Chapter 19: That’s the Way It Should Be

June 11, 2000, Los Angeles, California

“There is one important question I have to ask before I answer - have you had a recent STI test?”

“You mean STD?”

“According to my friend Bethany, who’s a counselor, it’s ‘Sexually Transmitted Infection’ now. And in case you’re wondering, I’ve been tested recently.”

“So have I. I have a card in my wallet. What about birth control?”

“I have a card, too. I have rubbers, even though I had a vasectomy. I’m safe to dispense with them, so long as you trust me.”

“I basically offered to come back to your room with you for oral sex,” she smirked. “That’s a pretty high level of trust.”

“True. I have another question - would you be cheating on someone?”

Harmony laughed, “As if THAT is a legitimate question from a married man!”

“My relationship allows what we call ‘dalliances’. And my wives are told about ‘dalliances’ I have. That’s the basic price of freedom.”

“Isn’t it up to me to decide?”

“It is,” I replied. “But my rules, for myself, require my partners not to be cheating.”

“Rules? Reporting? How often does this happen?”

I grinned, “Often enough to require rules and reporting. The STI test is an inviolable rule.”

“The cheating one isn’t?”

“It is, but not in the same way. The STI rule was laid down by my wife, the doctor, and there is simply no option. I could, in theory, waive the ‘cheating rule’, but I won’t. Also, it’s usually the case that anyone who works for a client is off limits, but I’m waiving that rule, which I can do at my discretion.”

We were interrupted by the waitress asking if we wanted dessert, which we declined as we’d agreed a few minutes earlier. Harmony insisted we split the check because I wouldn’t be able to file the expense claim with FJF. Our agreement with FJF had a ‘per diem’ option, which meant I wouldn’t have to turn in receipts to them, so after a bit of discussion, I paid, left a generous tip, and we left the restaurant to head back to the hotel.

“Why waive the rule? I’m not objecting, mind you, just curious.”

“Because it’s simply the default condition, not a bright-line rule. That said, it’s exceedingly rare that I would consider waiving it, but the circumstances seem reasonable.”

“Because I came onto you, not the other way around?”

“That is certainly an important factor. And you aren’t in a position to affect our contract one way or the other, which is also an important factor. And the last two hours or so has given me a good indication you aren’t crazier than the average Californian!”

“YOU are a Californian!”

“Did I say that I wasn’t crazy?” I asked.

Harmony laughed softly, “No, you didn’t.”

We were about five minutes from the hotel when my cell phone rang. I pulled it from my pocket and saw it was Stephanie calling from her cell phone.

“My sister,” I said to Harmony, then pressed the button to take the call. “Hi. I’m with someone.”

“Pull out because I REALLY need to talk to you.”

“I wouldn’t have answered if THAT were the case! What’s up?”

“I confronted Ed with my evidence and we got into a huge fight. Steve, he said unless I give him a divorce, the kids, and ALL the assets, he’ll go public with what he knows!”

Which would destroy everything, even if no criminal charges were filed, though there was no way to know if Ohio or Illinois would file charges. Working out the changes to the statutes of limitation was complicated by me having moved from Ohio, which under Ohio law meant the statute of limitations was ‘tolled’ - that is, didn’t continue to run. But I had an ace in the hole.

“Do you remember what happened at Bethany’s wedding?”

“Obviously.”

“That’s the answer. I’m in a car right now, heading back to the hotel. Where are you?”

“Home.”

“Give me ten minutes and I’ll call you back, OK?”

“Yes.”

“Where’s Ed?”

“No clue. He walked out right after making the threat.”

“OK. I’ll call you back in ten minutes.”

“Thanks.”

She disconnected the call and I put my phone back in my pocket.

“Something bad?” Harmony asked.

“Potentially. I’ll need some time when we get back to the hotel. I’m not sure how much, though. I have a suite, so you could hang out in the sitting room while I make my call.”

“You’re sure?”

“Unless you want to call it a night and drop me off.”

“If you didn’t have plans tomorrow night, I might do that. If you’re OK with it, I’ll wait.”

“That’s fine,” I replied.

We arrived at the hotel, Harmony handed her keys to the valet, and we went inside and up to my room. I turned on the shelf-unit stereo and tuned to a ‘classic rock’ station, then went into the bedroom, shut the door, and turned on the clock-radio and tuned to the same station. I pulled out my phone and dialed my sister’s cell phone. I was sure it was safe to make the call, because it had been well over two years since I’d had any interaction at all with the FBI.

“Hi, Squirt,” I said when she answered. “First, how are you doing?”

“Scared, but I figured you would have some kind of plan; you always do.”

“The witness who cleared Ed worked for Anthony. He was paid.”

“Wait! Ed actually killed that store owner?”

“I have no idea. BUT, if that witness recants, or better, says Ed paid him to keep quiet, Ed’s going to be charged with murder. They never solved the case, and they REALLY liked Ed for it. The gun was in his trunk.”

“What about the video of his car?”

“You couldn’t see the driver, and the timing was close enough that he could have done it. It was the eyewitness who caused the prosecutor to drop the charges.”

“How will you get the witness to recant?”

“Because I know who to talk to. And right now, I’m going to talk to Ed.”

“What?!”

“He knows I have the contacts to make that happen AND the balls to go toe-to-toe with him. And we’ll make it worth his while.”

“How much?”

“Two hundred grand from your 401K to his, by whatever means Bruce Grady says avoids the taxes. I know divorce decrees can shift things tax-free in many cases. You guys keep both joint and separate accounts, right?”

“Yes.”

“He gets his accounts and your joint account. You’ll have to pay him for his half of the equity in the house, too.”

“That I figured. And the kids?

“How much visitation will you accept?”

“I don’t have a problem with him seeing the kids. This is between him and me, not David and Patricia.”

“OK. I’m going to call him.”

“Are you sure he’ll answer?”

“Positive.”

We said ‘goodbye’ and I disconnected the call. I used the contact list in my phone to dial Ed’s cell phone. I wasn’t surprised when he answered, sounding testy.

“Just listen,” I said firmly. “You’re going to give my sister a nice, quiet divorce, with a reasonable division of joint assets, and she gets primary custody of the kids.”

“Why the fuck would I do that?” he demanded, angrily.

“Because if you don’t, the witness who worked for Anthony will recant and say YOU paid him to keep quiet. There is no statute of limitations on murder in Ohio.”

“They’ll never make it stick!”

“Sure they will. The gun was in your car, you were seen there, and your alibi witness will say he saw you pull the trigger. And even if by some miracle you are found not guilty, that’s at least two years down the road, with you sitting in jail without bond for first degree murder, and your name plastered all over the papers.”

“Bullshit! You won’t take that risk!”

I suspected he didn’t know the rules for Ohio’s statute of limitations, so I played a hunch.

“The worst you can do to me is make a stink and hope it gets in the papers and hurts my business. You know full well that my wives know what happened. Do I maybe have to resign from NIKA? That’s possible, but I’ll still be the majority shareholder. Worst case, I have to sell and I, and everyone else there cashes out big-time on that sale. Then I move, change my name, live off the sales proceeds while my wives earn very good money. I’m in the clear and you’re sitting in the Hamilton County jail awaiting trial for murder in the first degree. You’ll have no income and no assets beyond what’s in your checking account and your pension. Stephanie will divorce you, an accused murderer and mob thug, and take everything.”

“You won’t risk it.”

“Try me,” I said flatly. “You’ll be toxic, and have a rap sheet even if you’re acquitted, which you won’t be. And other charges will be filed, too.”

“You did the same shit!” he protested.

“Did I? Who can testify to that? You? An accused murderer trying to make a desperate deal? Don’t make me laugh! And if you want to play THAT game, I still have friends. You don’t.”

“Joyce will go down!”

“For what? Running legitimate businesses? The same is true for Anthony. Don Joseph was NEVER even questioned by the police, and he fired you for brandishing a gun! A respected, legitimate business man will testify to that fact. Anthony’s grandfather was never questioned, either. It was the third Mustache Pete who took all the heat, what little of it there was. Do you remember ANY newspaper reports about the Mafia? You don’t, because there weren’t any. It was all street gangs. Forget it, Ed, you’re playing Hold ‘Em with 7-2 off suit and I hold the nuts. Fold, or it’ll BE your nuts. And everything else.”

“Fuck you!”

“You have twenty-four hours to work out an equitable deal with Stephanie,” I said, keeping my voice even but firm. “And that means she keeps most of the assets, because she earned them. She gets primary custody as well. She’ll pay you for your share of the equity in the house and supplement your pension from her 401K. That’s the deal. Take it or go to prison for the rest of your life. And I am NOT bluffing.”

“Fuck you!”

“You might also want to consider,” I continued calmly, “that some of your calls to your mistress were made before she turned seventeen. I meant what I said, Ed - you have twenty-four hours. This time tomorrow, if you haven’t agreed a reasonable settlement with my sister - and this is NOT a time for you to play hardball - I make one of two possible calls. It’s only a question of who comes to get you - the Sheriff or the Coroner.”

He disconnected without a reply, which told me he was going to fold because he had to. He had a lousy hand and if he didn’t muck it, he’d be facing life in prison with no hope of parole, and he knew I could make that happen. When it came right down to it, it was a contest of bad PR for me versus life in prison for him, and he couldn’t take the risk. I dialed Stephanie’s number.

“I told him he has twenty-four hours to work out an equitable deal,” I said. “If not, I make one of two calls - either he ends up in prison for life or in the morgue. It’ll be up to you to decide which.”

“Jesus, big brother. You STILL have those contacts?”

“You know I have a business deal with Anthony, and while the Chicago Outfit has mostly been run to ground, I know who to call. And I know what to offer.”

“What do you think he’ll do?”

“Fold. He has to. He’d spend two years in jail awaiting trial, and you know I have the contacts to make sure ALL of his activities come out without hurting Joyce or Anthony. Ed can make all kinds of claims, but there is no evidence he can bring - just his word as an accused murderer.”

“And if he calls your bluff?”

“You and I both deny anything happened, and you know everyone else will deny any knowledge. Trying to bring a prosecution for something where the two individuals deny it would be a fool’s errand. You and I get on the stand and swear it never happened. They bring people we know who all swear it never happened. Ed is under indictment for murder. Who do they believe? Us.

“So, let’s say it goes that far, which I don’t think it would, the worst-case scenario is that I sell the company to Elyse, Julia, and Cindi. Samantha will lend them the money to buy me out. I change my name, my family moves, and I live in the lap of luxury supported by my gorgeous wives and the proceeds from the sale of NIKA. Heck, I could probably work for Samantha after a few years, because I wouldn’t have a criminal conviction. Or I could move to Russia or Sweden.

“Ed, on the other hand, even if he’s acquitted, will have lost everything - family, job, assets. And I know enough to point the cops in the right direction, indirectly of course, for them to find everything they need to put him away for murder plus a bunch of RICO predicates. Not to mention the fact that you can do the math and figure out he started calling Adrianne before she turned seventeen. Illinois won’t be happy about that.

“Now, all of that said, Ed would have some leverage if Jessica and Kara didn’t know. But they do. And he knows they know. Would it cause trouble with my friends? Sure. Would it cause trouble with my kids? A little, but not much. It would, of course, prove to Mom I was as evil as she thought I was. In the end, it was a bad gambit on his part. He can hurt me, even badly, but I’ll recover. He won’t.”

“I always knew you were a ruthless bastard,” Stephanie said.

“Only when somebody tries to fuck with me or someone I love,” I replied.

“And let me guess, you didn’t raise your voice.”

“Nope.”

“Which Ed knows means you are pissed enough to take him all the way out if necessary.”

“Indeed. Now, when you talk to him tomorrow, you have to be reasonable, too. Give him slightly more than his share of a fair-market valuation for the house, all the cash in your joint checking account, and something around what I suggested from your 401K. Gwen can make it happen and Bruce can make sure it conforms to the tax laws. Don’t be a bitch about it. Just pay him to go away. Got it?”

“I got it,” she sighed.

“And then you take a vacation. I’ll fix it with Samantha for you to use her place in St. Martin.”

Stephanie laughed, “I think I can ask her myself!”

I chuckled, “True. We’ll take the kids, but you and a friend need to disappear for a month and just relax. Preferably a male friend.”

“I don’t have those kinds of friends, big brother!”

“So make one! Find some twenty-five-year-old stud and spend a month getting well and thoroughly fucked.”

“Why does that sound like YOUR kind of solution?”

“Because it is, and because you and I are VERY much alike! You elected a monogamous relationship with Ed. May I engage in a bit of amateur psychology?”

“You can,” Stephanie sighed. “But I wonder if perhaps I was too harsh on Jorge.”

“Maybe. You know what he meant to me, and how much I loved him, but I’m not sure he was the right man to support you through our issues.”

“But he helped Jessica.”

“She was in a very different place,” I replied. “And needed something very different. What I was going to say before is that all your decisions about guys were made, maybe subconsciously, in my shadow and based on our relationship.”

“If you apologize again...”

“No, I’m not going to have that debate with you again. I’m just saying that it affected your decisions. I suspect if we hadn’t consummated our relationship, your list would potentially rival mine.”

“It’s longer than you think.”

“None of my business, Squirt. I mean that. But seriously, get away for a time. Let Gwen do all the hard work. But make the deal.”

“I won’t be a doormat for him.”

“No, of course not. But he doesn’t have leverage.”

“I think I’ll call him now and get this out of the way.”

“OK. Let me know if there are any issues.”

“I will. Who is she?”

“Unless I miss my guess, you know.”

Stephanie laughed, “I wondered if she’d go for it. All I can say is, enjoy yourself!”

“Just you? Or a conspiracy?”

“What do you think?”

I chuckled, “When the women gang up on me, I have no hope of winning.”

“See you on Wednesday?”

“You bet. And hang out at the house as much as you need to.”

“I will. Thanks.”

We said ‘goodbye’, I hung up, then went back to the sitting room.

“Sorry about that,” I said.

“I understand you have obligations!” Harmony replied. “I called down for a bucket of ice for the champagne. It’s chilling now. Are you OK with eating fruit given your diet?”

“It’s pretty much pure sugar. Berries are OK, especially blueberries, raspberries, and blackberries. Strawberries are OK. But apples, grapes, and so on are pretty much pure sugar. Very small quantities are OK, but I need to be super-careful.”

“What happens if you eat too much sugar?”

“It’s not just sugar, but carbohydrates, too. It’s not diabetes, but it is related to insulin and other hormones. The minor effects are on my personality - it exacerbates my very mild bipolar disorder. If I go over my carbohydrate limit significantly, or repeatedly, I suffer from syncope - fainting - when I’m surprised, mostly by bad news. There’s a weird interaction with my endocrine system and my ability to process adrenaline. And, to cap it off, nobody knows if the bipolar disorder is a cause, a symptom, or unrelated.”

“Weird.”

“As strange as it sounds, so long as I follow my diet, exercise, and get enough sleep, there are no ill effects at all. I’ll have to be careful with the champagne. Distilled liquor isn’t an issue, but fermented is. I didn’t have any wine with dinner, so I have a bit of leeway, but not a lot.”

“That’s good.”

“You know, you never answered my question about cheating, and we’ll also need to put our cards on the table, so to speak.”

“I don’t have a steady boyfriend at the moment. I had one during Senior year, but he left for Arizona State and wanted his freedom, so we broke up.”

“I have freedom,” I replied.

“I’m not asking you to be my boyfriend!” she declared. “That said, if this is as good as the vibe I’m sensing, then I wouldn’t mind you visiting Los Angeles now and then!”

I took out my wallet and put my card on the table next to the ice bucket which held the champagne. Harmony opened her purse, fished out a card, and put it next to mine.

“There’s a Jacuzzi in the master bathroom,” I said.

“Go figure! A hot tub in California! What’s next? Sand at the beach?”

“Are you staying the night or going home?”