Chapter 10: A Chip Off the Old Block?

April 18, 2000, Chicago, Illinois

“Hey, Squirt,” I said when I walked into her office late on Tuesday morning. “I take it Kimmy talked to you?”

“Yes. Shut the door, please.”

I nodded and shut the door to the office, then sat down across from her.

“Ed is really uncomfortable with you and me traveling alone together.”

“Seriously?” I sighed. “After fifteen years?”

“I know, but you have to see his perspective.”

“Oh, I do. Jess will quiz me, but she’ll be OK with it. You know she’s mellowed in the past ten years. We’ve been on our best behavior.”

“But your wives and Bethany are concerned about your daughters, aren’t they?”

“And Doctor Mercer. She still asks about that every time I speak to her. There is zero risk. What does Ed think we should do?”

“He didn’t propose a solution, but I suppose a chaperone is the only reasonable solution.”

“More expenses,” I sighed. “At a time when we simply can’t afford them.”

“We also can’t afford not to go, and going separately sends the wrong message.”

“The timing is wrong for Kara, Jess, and Maria Cristina. I take it Ed can’t get the time off?”

“Not with our planned trip to Spain this summer.”

“You guys decided to take Eduardo up on his offer of using his parents’ villa?”

“Damn straight! Speaking of going away, have you decided on your sabbatical?”

“I don’t need one,” I replied. “I’m actually calmer and more mellow than I’ve been in YEARS. I only get twitchy and stressed when I’m NOT programming. That’s why Terry suggested getting me a Windows laptop to travel with so I can code while I’m on the road. I take it Ed believes the chaperone should be in my bed?”

“He didn’t say that, but it would make things easier for him.”

“The board will flip out,” I replied. “I’ll have to cover my companion, whoever it is, out of my own pocket.”

“That’s kind of what I thought. Who?”

“Hell if I know,” I replied. “I’d say Liz, but she doesn’t graduate until June, and we need to start our trip by the end of this month. Set the schedule, have Kimmy book tickets for three, and my hotel room as a double, and I’ll figure out what to do.”

I did have one idea, but I’d need to run it by my wives. If that didn’t pan out, then I wasn’t quite sure what to do. I wondered if having Ed talk to Doctor Mercer would help, but in the end, my sister would have to decide the best course of action.

“We’re going, even if I have to tell Ed to just deal with it.”

“Don’t wreck your marriage, Squirt.”

“If Jess can deal with it, as high strung as she is, Ed should be able to.”

“Jess was high strung because of medical school, her Residency, and her Fellowship. She’s been the epitome of mellow since then, minus her irrational fear of letting the kids travel on their own. Her dad pretty much put a stop to that, finally.”

“Doctor Al is totally cool.”

“He is.”

“Go find yourself a fuck-bunny for our trip!”

“Gee, thanks, Squirt!”

I left her office and decided I was going to make the call and see if the person I thought might be interested was. Penny was in my office so I went to the ‘Orr’ room and dialed Becka’s cell phone.

“You can’t be serious?!” she groused when I told her why I was calling.

“I am; what’s the issue?”

“As of last Friday, I have a steady boyfriend.”

“My turn - you can’t be serious!”

“I know, right?” Becka laughed. “Here I was, having all kinds of fun with boys and girls, and then I go on a date with a guy last Friday and boom, we’re a couple.”

“And that’s why you missed the Rap Session yesterday?”

“Uh, yeah, we kind of spent the weekend in bed.”

I chuckled, “I know you better than that! It wasn’t JUST the bed!”

“Euphemistically, you dope!”

“You’ve spent way too much time around Penny,” I chuckled.

“She was right, you know? You can be a real dope at times! But that makes you fun!”

“Thanks, I think!”

“Still the best one-on-one fuck and best threesome I’ve ever had. I wish I could go. Would you consider a suggestion?”

“I’m listening.”

“Holly.”

I started laughing, “Yeah, right. You saw her reaction back in January!”

“And have you talked to her since then? Remember, she did say it was liberating to be naked.”

“That’s a far cry from wanting to have sex with a married man. Not to mention taking her on a trip. If she freaks out, or decides she doesn’t want to do it again, it’ll be a total fiasco.”

“I hadn’t considered that point; well, it was just an idea. At some point she’s going to ask you.”

“And I’ll talk to her, as I usually do. I just don’t think she’s ready.”

“She’s twenty-one, for Pete’s sake!”

“So? Some girls are ready for sex at fourteen, and some aren’t ready at twenty-four. You sure weren’t ready at eighteen.”

“I was a religious nut; she’s not.”

“Was?” I teased.

“I was a religious nut, now I’m just plain nuts!”

“Join the club! Are you going to bring your beau to the Rap Session on May 7th?”

“Probably; but are you going to be there?”

“I think my sister will arrange the trip in such a way that we’re in Chicago for the weekend. She doesn’t like to be away from her kids too long.”

“Then I’ll see you in a few weeks.”

We said ‘goodbye’ and I hung up. Pretty much every other girl I could think of either worked for NIKA or was in High School or College. It seemed as if Stephanie and I were going to have to go without a third person, or we’d have to postpone the trip. Postponing wasn’t a viable option, and not having someone to alleviate Ed’s concerns was flirting with disaster. And either of us going individually made no real sense as it wouldn’t accomplish our goals. I went back to my sister’s office.

“No joy on the possible companion,” I said. “It can’t be someone from NIKA, and most everyone is in school or works in a teaching position. And taking a new girl has its own set of issues.”

“Forget it, big brother. Ed will have to deal with it. We can’t let him control NIKA, and we need to do this.”

“Don’t mess things up with him.”

“He’s a big boy; he’ll have to deal with it the same way Jessica did.”

“Just be careful, please.”

“I will.”

“I have to finish my homework!” I protested. “Mom Two will be upset if I don’t!”

“Hurry up!” Rachel insisted.

I really DID want to go upstairs, but if I didn’t have my homework done when my moms came home, I’d be dead meat. They wouldn’t be upset if I was having sex, but they sure would be if I didn’t have my homework done first! And if I hurried too much, I’d get bad grades which would mean a talk with Dad because I always got A’s.

It took about thirty minutes, and just as I was finishing the last algebra problem the phone rang. I wrote the answer, then got up to answer it.

“It’s your mom,” I said to Rachel.

She rolled her eyes and took the handset from me.

“What?!” she exclaimed. “Why?”

I was sure her mom was telling her to come home, and Rachel was really upset. She slammed the phone down hard enough I was afraid she might break the switchhook or knock the phone off the wall.

“I have to go home,” she complained.

“Why?”

“Because she ‘said so’. I HATE when she does that.”

“My dad says that’s the dumbest reason ever, and means either the person who says it doesn’t want to tell you or knows they’re wrong and don’t want to argue.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I have hockey practice right after school.”

“Arrrrggghhhh!”

We walked out the door and Rachel went home and I went into the main house to see if Albert had finished his homework and wanted to play Super Smash Bros. on my Nintendo 64. He had finished, so we went back to my house and I turned on the console and put in the game cartridge. We had a good time, switching characters and both winning about the same amount. We had to quit when my moms came home and Albert had to go back to the other house for dinner.

My moms made dinner, and just as we were about to sit down, Dad knocked on the back door. Mom One let him in.

“Sorry to interrupt,” he said. “I just need to ask Jesse a question.”

“Come in,” Mom told him.

“Hi, Dad! What’s up?”

“Do you know why Rachel’s mom wants to talk to me?”

“No. Rachel was here for tutoring and her mom called right about the time I finished my homework. Is there a problem?”

“I can’t imagine what, but I’ll call her after karate and let you know.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

He left and we sat down at the table to eat.

“Jesse,” Mom One asked, “did you do anything other than homework?

“I played Super Smash Bros. with Albert,” I replied.

“That is NOT what I meant and you know it!”

“Seriously! Rachel and I studied Spanish, she checked my homework, and then I did the rest of my homework. The same as yesterday, and the same as before Spring Break! Oh, and we usually have a snack of Dr Pepper and chips.”

“Every day?” Mom Two asked, raising her eyebrow.

“Uhm, yeah,” I admitted.

“You’re only supposed to have three soft drinks a week.”

“Sorry.”

“If you can’t follow the rules, we won’t have the pop in the house.”

“I’ll remember.”

“Good.”

After we returned home from karate, I went to my study to call Carla.

“It’s Steve,” I said when she answered. “You left a message with Winter?”

“What IS it with you?”

“Me? What did I do?” I asked.

“I found Rachel’s diary!”

And I suspected Rachel had described both being taken ‘around the world’ as well as the Steve and Rachel ‘sundaes’.

“If you read it, you violated every principle of parenting I’ve tried to model for you!”

“She’s fifteen and still a kid!”

“Oh for Pete’s sake! She handled having sex at fifteen far better than you did at age twenty-two! And she sure as hell didn’t send me away after doing it just once! She’s got her head screwed on perfectly straight! And you had NO business reading her diary. You knew about both times we had sex before it happened, and I talked to you about it both times! I’m actually very disappointed in you.”

“How is this about me?!”

“You’re the one who violated your daughter’s privacy after you gave her permission to do the very thing you’re complaining about!”

“I did not give permission for THAT!”

“You gave her permission to have an ‘Expert Deflowering’ and then you gave her permission to ask me to spend the day with her!”

“But not THAT!”

“Which ‘that’ are you complaining about?” I asked, but then it hit me what the REAL issue was! “Wait a minute! You’re jealous!”

“I am not!” Carla protested.

“Yes, you are! I was right on target with my comment about her handling sex better at fifteen than you did at twenty-two! You WISH you’d asked me to do all of those things! And you know what? Ask me now. I’ll give you everything she got and more, if you want it.”

“You think that’s what I want?”

“No, I don’t think that’s what you want, I know that’s what you want. Say the word. I think there is enough chocolate sauce, whipped cream, and cherries leftover.”

“You’re certifiably insane!”

“Obviously. I’ve never denied that. You really have two choices here, and neither of them involve you interfering in your daughter’s sex life. Your options are limited to your own sex life. You can either put yourself in my hands and have the most amazing sexual experience you’ll ever have; or you can refuse, and go about your life.”

“You are an arrogant son of a bitch!”

“Yes.”

“Jesus. Do you ever stop?”

“No. I am who I am, Carla. I do what I do. But I never once, in my entire life, forced myself on anyone. I’m not going to apologize for who I am or what I do. What you do is up to you, but it’s also the case that what your daughter does is up to her. She made an adult decision and was very happy with the results. I’ll be damned if I’ll let you undo that without a fight. Granted, there is little I can do to stop you from screwing up your daughter’s life. You tried that once; how did THAT work out for you?”

“Fuck you!” she growled.

“Look, if you want to be pissed at me, be pissed at me. If you want to never see me again, just say so. But do not take this out on Rachel. She did nothing wrong. And you have my word that I won’t touch her ever again.”

“Now that you got what you wanted!”

I laughed, but then said, “I shouldn’t laugh, because you have that so backwards it’s not even funny! She got what SHE wanted. I am not going to deny that I enjoyed being with her. But don’t kid yourself, Carla - she knew what she wanted and she asked for it. After all, SHE bought the chocolate sauce, whipped cream, and cherries! You think about that, and when you decide what you want to do, call me. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some children to attend to. Good night.”

I heard a click as she hung up, hung up myself, then left my office to walk to the coach house. Josie let me in and I let Jesse know that Carla was upset with me, not him, and that I didn’t think there would be a problem. He thanked me and I headed back to the house. I hung out with my wives and kids until it was time for the kids to go to bed, and then Kara, Jessica, and I went to the ‘Indian’ room.

“What was up with Carla, Tiger?”

“She snooped in Rachel’s room again and found Rachel’s diary. I’m guessing Rachel included some details that her mother didn’t appreciate.”

“Did you do what I said?” Kara asked.

“Indeed I did,” I smirked, “with the added feature of Steve and Rachel ‘sundaes’!”

“No WONDER Carla is pissed!” Kara laughed. “You took her daughter ‘around the world’ twice!”

“Seriously, Tiger?” Jessica asked with a laugh.

“Seriously. And Carla’s actually not pissed, that’s an act; it’s really that she’s jealous that her fifteen-year-old daughter was WAY more comfortable with her own sexuality than Carla ever was, and dealt with it better than Carla ever did.”

“So now what? Is she going to make Rachel stop tutoring Jesse?”

“I told Carla not to mess with Rachel’s life, and also offered to give her everything Rachel got and more, if she wanted it.”

“No way!” Kara laughed. “I bet her head exploded. I remember reading what you wrote about your time with her. Boring doesn’t even begin to describe it!”

“Not everyone is you, Honey,” I replied. “Call it ‘tame’ or ‘conventional’”

“She acted like a sheltered fourteen-year-old!”

“Yes, and not everyone is comfortable with their sexuality, even when they’re older. Carla is one of those people. It’s like Holly or Sophie, or some of the other new kids. And that’s OK. What I told Carla was not OK was messing up her daughter because she was uncomfortable with her own sexuality.”

“Are she and Jesse...” Jessica asked.

“I have no idea and that is none of my business,” I replied. “The only thing I said to Jesse was that he had to decide what to do about Francesca, and he decided to break up with her because there’s no way he can see her.”

“Carol is such a bitch!” Kara declared. “And now Carla is one!”

“No, she’s not,” I replied. “She’s trying to come to terms with the fact that her daughter is better adjusted to life than she is, despite Rachel only being fifteen.”

“What do you think Carla will do?”

“I’m not absolutely sure what she’ll do, but I am sure she’s not Carol. Can we change topics?”

“Sure.”

“The stock market turmoil and the impending problems in the tech industry have some of the NIKA staff more nervous than a long-tail cat in a room full of rocking chairs, as Peaches would have said. My sister and I need to visit the offices and talk to people face-to-face to keep them calm. I’ll make sure we’re gone as short a time as possible, and not over any weekends.”

“When?” Jessica asked.

“Soon. Probably next week.”

“Your daughter is not going to be happy.”

“I know, but she does understand even if she doesn’t like it. I don’t travel all that much these days, and my last major trip I took her along!”

“Speaking of which,” Kara asked, “did you hear from Katt and Karin about when they’ll be here?”

“It’ll be in August, because that’s when the entire country shuts down for vacation. I just don’t know the exact days. It’s going to conflict with your Stanford research project, but I’m not sure how that could have been avoided.”

“I’ll come home at least one weekend, two if I end up being gone four or five weeks.”

“That’s a lot of flying for a short time here,” I replied, “but I won’t complain!”

April 20, 2000, Chicago, Illinois

“I have your travel plans,” Kimmy said to me on Thursday morning. “I need the name of the third person.”

“I think you can cancel that ticket and change my reservation to a single,” I replied.

“I could put my name on the tickets!”

“Ask Gary’s permission.”

“That tired old line?” she asked with a wink.

“One I’ll never get tired of asking, because you, Gary, and Robert are a happy family.”

“But the fantasy is so nice,” she sighed.

“For me, too. What’s the itinerary?”

“After talking with Stephanie, Mario, and Barbara, you’ll do the West, come home, then do the East. Your sister asked me to have the people who are in cities without formal offices to meet you elsewhere, so the West is Colorado Springs, San Francisco, and Dallas. The East is Durham, Pittsburgh, and Boston. You’re home late on Friday of each week.”