Chapter 10

It is messed up. Even after nearly a week on the open road, with nothing to do but listen to the radio and think, Ghok is still at war with himself. When he started out, he just assumed that one way or another he would have settled on a course of action by now. But reality isn’t that simple. He has passed countless towns since he started out and he continues to barrel onward without deviating. His straight course belies the anxious knot in his stomach.

The past few months have been difficult and strange for him. He has finally shown the people of Earth that he doesn’t pose a threat to them, that he is in no way connected to his people. He is as the government say: a refugee. They know he cannot go back to his home without facing death. Thus he has nowhere else to go. He has given scientists everything he knows. He was taught how to drive and given a substantial allowance and means of living. He never made that phone call, perhaps because he didn’t have Rachele’s number or because he was afraid to call her. Living among humans has shaped him away from his alien ways. In some ways, if he is looks at behind his physical self, he could almost pass as human. Of course, he has had plenty of opportunity to call him.

The fact that she hasn’t, and the loneliness of not having his mate has made him become withdrawn, spending a lot of time lost in his own head. All too often this would happen during an interview and moments of research and he would have to quit and go off somewhere to be alone. He had eventually finished those interviews or research session.

The only consolation to Rachele not calling him is that he was, at first, relieved as he had no idea what he was supposed to say to her after that wild night of sex after the funeral. These are not emotions and feelings he is used to having—they are all too human. As such, that sense of relief quickly dissipated and was replaced by feelings that were far stronger and extremely frustrating.

He began to think about her in intermittent flashes at first, and then constantly. In every thought her had about her, Rachele was naked, or close to it. Physique is chief among the Nehrezl, but there is just something about the human female that is different. Perhaps those luscious breasts, though small on Rachele’s frame, are still delectable. He saw himself pinned down and bucked upon wildly, milking his erogenous shaft with her tight, slick snatch. Sometimes it is a hypnotic memory of the taste of one of her nipples in his mouth.

Though some memories are a lot stronger than others, there is scarcely a snippet of their brief erotic history that he hasn’t reflected on in detail during these last few months. Virtually every night ends with the alien jerking off to the memory of her naked body, if not the memory of fucking her. This action itself is in total contrast to the Nehrezl. They don’t masturbate, even after their one time only mating session. It just does not happen, and certainly not allowed. This is totally a human characteristic that Ghok had picked up. And on nights when he is too damn tense to get to sleep that easily, he would jack himself over the thought or image of her again, and then again, if necessary.

Of course Earth is full of hot woman with varying chest sizes. Many are of different proportions too. But Ghok being a Nehrezl is only interested in the fit one like those of his own species. Yet even with all these hot women, as many of his human male companions called them, he is not at all interested in chasing after any of them. He selected Rachele as his mate, and so that is the only one he has interest in. So at times when he reflected back this sordid little affair with her, he began to understand why some humans associate casual sex with being such a bad thing. Sometimes it feels like he is actually being possessed by something else entirely. He doesn’t feel like a Nehrezl, but a human. It is sometimes like his life has been consumed. And maybe that is what it would feel like if he had never left home and found a mate there. Maybe that is why his species is so loyal to their mates. Then again, maybe it isn’t. Regardless, he feels like a prisoner. He feels like her prisoner. His fixation annoys and often upsets him, yet he cannot escape his persistent sensual thoughts about her. Nor can he resist indulging those thoughts to the point of climax, when they occur.

Eventually, and against all logic, this maddening obsession has driven Ghok to seek Rachele out. Her dropping out of touch with him should have been a fortuitous blessing. For a human it would be, but not for a Nehrezl. It should be best that they never see one another again and that the shameful affair they began on Vulta be nothing more than ancient history. But Ghok simply cannot help himself. He needs to find her.

So when he finally decided to take the step and finally call her, she seemed to have disappeared. Rumor had it that she quit all her academic work, leaving her job and her apartment behind without much of an explanation. Those rumors of her whereabouts soon became the discussion of her friend and colleagues that she had left behind. Some seem to believe that she had gotten another job and was now back on another expedition. Some believe she just went off the grid, exploring in an attempt to clear her head after the traumatic brush with death. Many knew of the tragic ending of that expedition, but very few know the details. At least their version of what happened. And then others believe that she is living with her family up in the mountains.

But just a few days ago, Ghok got his first lead that he actually considered somewhat reliable. With a little financial incentive, Ghok was able to convince a guy in the government to give him an address to a place that she had, inherited from her grandparents. The alien found it amazing that there is a price for anything in this world, something totally different from his. Come to find out, Rachele is in the mountains, just not the same ones her family is in.

Even as he was handing over money obtained through his allowance from the government for the information, he had no idea what he was going to do with it. For some reason, he believed that simply knowing where she was could give him some measure of satisfaction—that the knowledge would somehow loosen the woman’s hold over him. But having a place to focus his fixation upon only made it stronger. All too soon he found himself having absurd ideas that both frightened and excited him. So he decided to go to her. He had invented an excuse to travel across the country so that this new desire could be satiated. He didn’t really need an excuse for anyone but himself, still he made one up.

And now he is here.

As he passes the welcome to sign into the town at the base of the mountains, both his hearts pound so anxiously that it feels like he is driving with a flat tire. Ghok has no plan for what he will do when he finally finds Rachele. He truly wonders if he will be able to pluck up the courage to do anything more than simply watch her from a distance. But even if he can, what then? A polite greeting, inquiring about how she has been? Those are a given. But Ghok isn’t really concerned for her welfare, nor has he driven all this way, these multitude of miles to catch up with an old acquaintance. The sleazy truth is that one of the reasons he is there is because he wants to fuck her again.

It seems like an impossible wish. He highly doubted that she will be so delighted to see him again that she will throw herself at him as she had done before. Ghok is well aware that she has felt especially attracted to him, but that is only by physical means. He knows that humans are like the other animals on this planet, seeking out mates based on looks. Even with casual sex, looks mean everything. She had no other interest as he does with finding a mate for life. He has an idea that he can talk her into catching up with him at a bar, and that with a few drinks under down they might make a drunken mistake—the kind that humans seem to make all the time. Yet he is under no delusions. He knows that even his best chance of fucking her again is a long shot. He can only hope that simply seeing her in the flesh again, being able to admire her awesome body, even fully clothed, will grant him some measure of release. If he can break himself from her, to somehow release or be released as her mate, then he can seek out someone else. It is typical human behavior: to fall in and out of love at a whim.

But he is getting ahead of himself. He still doesn’t know precisely where in this town Rachele can be found. The man only had a post office box for her, not an actually physical address. It seems that while someone in the government is keeping track of her, not all of the government is. Judging by the size of the dot that marks this town on the map, it looks to be a relatively small town, so Ghok hopes that it will make her easier to track down.

The main street is easy enough to find. And soon enough, Ghok has discovered what appears to be the town’s main parking. Studying a bit of Earth’s history since he has been here, the alien is amazed to see that no matter how technologically advance the human race has become they still have many living simple lives the way they have long before space travel and colonization. The parking lot itself if only half full, so he has no trouble finding a place to park.

The bright afternoon sun shines down on him as he gets out of his car. Ghok figures that seeing as how he knows she has a post office box the logical place to start his search is the post office. So as he strolls down the street, meandering around the many other pedestrians on the sidewalk. As he does, he gets many stares. He has been on television since his arrival so it would be odd for someone not to recognize him by now. He goes on not really paying much attention to them as he does the landscape. Every city he has visited has been built with the newest material and design. It is towns like this that have sort of a classical look to them—classical in the sense that it represent human architecture of their most recent past.

Ironically though, Rachele always seemed to him to be the type of person that was of a vivacious spirit, someone who relished excitement and glamor. This place almost seems too quiet, too far from the hustle and bustle of the city. It doesn’t feel like the kind of place Rachele would live in.

With some direction from a helpful local—and an autograph from Earth’s only resident alien—he soon finds the post office. There are only a couple of customers inside, neither of whom is at the counter. The employees, a balding, scrawny man and an old woman with glasses that looks like she has been sitting there for her entire life, are both free.

He walks up to the man and says, “Greeting.”

“Hello,” the man replies dryly.

“I’m looking for a friend of mine,” Ghok says as he reaches into his pocket. He produces a photo of Rachele that he had cut out of the newspaper, knowing that he would probably need one to help in locating her. “She told me she lived somewhere around her, but I lost her address...” he lies. That too is a strange thing about humans ... the need to lie.

The man glares at the photo with a bemused looks, as if he is examining some unpleasant plate of food. He doesn’t seem to know here, but when his co-worker leans over to take a look at the photo, her face lights up almost immediately. “Oh! That’s young ... oh, what’s her name? Rachele?”

Ghok’s two hearts skip their beats at the mention of her name. This is actual confirmation! Rachele really is here in this tiny town! After all these months, she is only a stone’s throw away.

“She’s a very pretty girl, but a shy one. She doesn’t say much,” the woman elaborates.

Ghok is confused. Shy? Rachele? Are they talking about the same person? For a moment, he wonders if this is a case of mistaken identity. But what are the odds that this lady would guess Rachele’s name correctly, purely by coincidence?

“Still, she’ll always respond if you say hello to her,” the postal worker continues.

“Do you know where she lives?” Ghok asks eagerly.

“No, I’m sorry,” the woman says with a shake of her head.

The balding man simply continues to glare at the alien with suspicious eyes. Ghok feels that glare piercing him all the way to his bones. It could be because he is an alien. Clearly both the man and woman have seen him in the newspapers or on television or somewhere else because they are not freaking out. Or maybe it is because no one, human or alien, would come to a small town like this if it wasn’t for impure intentions. And Ghok isn’t visiting this wholesome town with pure intentions either. He is a sex-obsessed creature who has come here to coax a woman to fuck him. Maybe even convince her to want him beyond that too... ?

Still, Ghok manages to conceal his intentions completely as he offers the woman a polite, “Oh well, thanks anyway.” He then smiles before leaving the building.

Standing on the post office’s threshold, the alien takes a second to steady himself against the feeling he has. Why should he feel this way around a people that he is alien to? He shakes his head. He has come too far, quite literally, to bail out now. He knows for a fact that Rachele is around here somewhere, and with a little persistence, he is sure to find her.

He repeats his inquiry at all the locales where Rachele is most likely to pass through. Several people recognize her, some of whom even know her by name, but none of them can offer him any useful information. Yet he hits pay dirt at a supermarket. He is asking one of the cashiers if she recognizes the girl in his photo when by fortuitous coincidence the woman whom the cashier is checking out takes an interest in the photo.

“Oh, I know her!” the customer exclaims. “Oh jeez, now let me think. Where did I see her?” the woman ponders aloud, closing her eyes tightly as she concentrates. “Ah! I remember!” she exclaims with satisfaction, “She was at the farmer’s market! We were out there buying some fresh vegetables and that girl was selling some.”