Chapter 10

Driving seven hours gives you a lot of time to think. Although in retrospect, I really didn’t think as much as rehash all I’d gone through the past six months. I’d gotten a lot of mixed messages, none of them from the direct source, and even though there were firsthand accounts and photographs, I still didn’t know what to believe.

The separation had gone on long enough for me to start falling out of love. I suspected that if it wasn’t for Katie, I’d have given it up for a bad cause long before. But love for a child does not sustain a relationship between two adults. That’s doubly true when one partner holds no biological stake in the child, and one partner has the ability to control all decisions relating to the child.

My meeting went well, a simple project requiring little time. I was contracted to paint a chameleon, the favorite pet of the customer’s son. He was willing to pay eighty grand for it, and for that kind of money I wanted to make it special. The son had the chameleon on his shoulder, and it seemed it spent most of its time there. I took several pictures of the pet in his tank, and twice that many as it rode on the boy’s shoulder.

Mulling over ideas as I left, I realized for the money they were paying me I really wanted to make the portrait something special, something that would spark memories for decades to come. I transferred the pictures to my computer after I got home, fixed a simple meal, and set them as a slideshow, looking at every picture with different eyes, trying to determine the perfect pose. It came to me and I wondered why I hadn’t thought of it before. Laughing, I switched off the computer and went to bed. The last image in my mind as I drifted off to sleep was a portrait of the boy in a colorful floral print shirt, the chameleon sitting on his shoulder, just barely visible because he matched the shirt so completely. I wasn’t sure a chameleon could mimic a floral print, but on my canvas it could.

I was still smiling when I woke, but the good feeling faded as I got on the road. I timed my travel to arrive just before lunch. Katie must have been watching because she burst out the door before I was out of the car and launched herself into my arms. I gave her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek all the while twirling her. I put her down and she was a little unsteady, so she latched down on my hand.

“You know, one of the days you’re going to miscalculate and I’m going to miss catching you.”

She giggled. “You’ll never let me fall, Da.”

I sighed, thinking about the conversation I was about to have. Was I about to let her fall from great heights? I knew I’d do anything within reason for this child and wondered if my definition of ‘within reason’ was about to be tested.

I looked up to see Sisoban standing in the doorway holding Chelsea’s hand, looking shy and scared. I gave Chelsea a hug, glancing over at Sissy. “Ms. O’Mallory.”

She gave a tentative small smile before noticing I hadn’t returned it, and her countenance shifted, an unemotional mask sliding down. “Damon,” she replied in a dull voice. Katie was still holding my hand and I felt it tremble and looked down, seeing the tears about to fall. I reached down and picked her up.

“Let’s have lunch, I’m hungry enough to see how tasty a Princess is.” I gave her a big puppy kiss and nibbled her ear, which made her giggle and squeal. I ended up with a big slurp across her cheek. “Yum. Lunch better be really good, or you might end up missing an ear.”

Chelsea smiled a true smile for the first time. “Well then, perhaps we’d better feed him before it comes to that. If he ate your ear it would be really hard to find sunglasses that fit well.”

Katie giggled at the thought and grabbed her Mom’s hand in her free one, swinging both our arms and chattering a mile a minute. The meal was delicious even if the company was uneasy. Dishes cleared; Chelsea took Katie by the hand. “Come along, honey, we need to check on our horses. Pixie may have foaled by now and perhaps we’ll get to greet a new member of our equine family.”

Despite her obvious desire to see the new foal, Katie hesitated. I smiled at her. “Go ahead, baby. If your Mum and I get done talking soon enough, we’ll come find you. I promise.”

I’d said the magic word and she relaxed, taking Chelsea’s hand. “Okay. Grandma, have you picked out a name yet?”

Sissy started when she said Grandma, but relaxed when she saw Chelsea smile. “No, honey. Grandpa says that’s to be part of your responsibilities now. Think about it when you see the foal. I’m sure something will come to mind.”

We watched them walk off, Katie’s happy chatter slowly fading. Moments went by before I spoke. “She really loves them. I would ask that no matter what’s decided, whether we try again or not, that you allow them to stay part of her life. They would all be better off for it.”

She wouldn’t look at me, but she did start speaking. “I have no intention of keeping them apart. They’ve been a Godsend for me over the last couple of months. I think if she had to choose right now between me and them, it would be really close. The only thing that could tempt her would be a new father.”

“Maybe you’ll find her one.”

Her head flew up, her mane of curls dancing, her eyes blazing. “You’re not going to make this easy, are you? In her head, you’re her father and always will be. That’s what I wanted, too.”

“Then what changed?”

“Nothing! Everything! You knew how shy and insecure I was. First, I was thrust into the world of the rich and famous, dating a man of wealth and international reputation, then I started having success at my dream job, meeting with agents, lawyers, and publishers. I saw how some of these people could be, and when I saw that photo all my fears seemed realized. Yes, I behaved very badly. You have to remember how fragile I was. It was just too much, and I think I lashed out in self-defense. When Justine told me the truth about the photos, I was so ashamed and embarrassed I didn’t know what to do. Let me say this before we go any farther. I’m sorry, Damon. Sorry I couldn’t trust you, sorry I cut you out of my life so harshly.”

She stopped to catch her breath and wipe her tears. “Then, when I finally worked up the nerve to contact you, you’d cut everybody off. Even your mother couldn’t reach you. I started to get angry all over again. At the same time, two of my stories had taken off, taking the European audience by storm. My new agent and publisher pushed me hard to take advantage, scheduling me with speaking engagements, awards banquets, television spots, anything and everything to get me exposure. It all went to my head and they kept me too busy to worry that the thing I wanted most in my life was slipping away.”

I snorted. “I saw some of the things you appeared on. Men’s laps. Dance clubs where you hung all over your date, letting everyone in the world know your undergarment was a skimpy thong. It’s funny, the things you jumped to conclusions about were exactly what you were doing yourself. Think those photos would pass any relationship test? As for the thing you wanted most in the world, I think the fame and fortune got a higher ranking than our relationship.”

There was a bit of silence and in a subdued voice she said “I made a lot of mistakes those few weeks. My agent wasn’t really worried about my love life, but keeping me in the spotlight. I just followed along in a fog before I started to come to my senses. I’m terribly ashamed of the night club photos and have done my best to see they never see the light of day again. The man I was with was a letch, but he owned part of the publishing company I had signed with. He had the gall to tell me if I wasn’t ‘nice’ to him my career would go nowhere. I told him to stick his niceness and his threats up his arse, I’d only signed a two-year contract and I could put a hold on my career for that long, easily. I’d just write stories and save them until my contract was over. I sent a letter to his other partners and life was interesting for the next few weeks. They treated me like a queen and made his life hell. He’s in the process of selling his shares of the company, on the insistence of the board. Four other female writers and one male have come forward. The house is going to be spending a lot of future profits doing damage control.”