A Lodi Christmas
Copyright© 2019 by A.A. Nemo
Chapter 14
There is no great big ending, no sunset in the sky
There is no string ensemble, and she doesn’t even cry
And just as I begin to say, that we should make another try, she reaches out across the table, looks at me, and quietly says good-bye.
Jake Holmes and Bob Gaudio
Anastasia examined Case from across the table in the conference room. They were in the hangar in Austin and it was late afternoon. He’d asked for this meeting just as soon as he’d dropped his bags in the pilots’ bedroom. She and Cassandra and Irene were bringing him up to date. They would have been happy to wait until the next day, but Case had insisted, assuring them he was fine and ready to get back to work.
He doesn’t look fine. He’s lost weight and something about him just seems off. It’s as if an actor is impersonating Case – and doing a bad job of it. I know him too well. His engaging smile doesn’t reach his eyes, and his easy mannerisms and quick wit are absent.
Cassandra interrupted Anastasia’s musings. “So, not much has changed since we met you in Lodi. We’re still on track for March 1st, and it looks as if the hand-off will be pretty seamless.”
She looked at Anastasia and Irene and asked, “Anything else to add?”
The shook their heads.
“Questions, Case?”
“No, I think that covers it. I’m glad Vika and Jonas were here to interview the new pilots. From what you tell me they’ll fit in well. I look forward to meeting them.”
He paused for a moment and then went on, “I agree, we should offer the operations manager position to Jonas. We need that position and he’s the right person to fill it.”
He paused, looking at each of them in turn. “Thanks for taking up the slack while I was ... gone.”
Cassandra smiled. “Most of the credit should go to Vika and Jonas.”
Case nodded. “I’ll get with Jonas about picking up our new aircraft.”
Irene handed a piece of paper across to him. “This is a draft delivery schedule, already approved by Mr. Kauffman and okayed by the leasing company – subject to your availability and approval.”
He smiled slightly. “And you’ve already blocked my calendar and rescheduled any meetings...”
She smiled in return. “Yes.”
Case quickly scanned the schedule, nodded, and handed it back to Irene.
“I’m glad I didn’t unpack.”
The others chuckled and Anastasia let out a breath.
That’s better. Seems more like the old Case.
Anastasia found him sitting at the desk in the pilots’ bedroom staring at the screen of his laptop. ‘Pilots’ bedroom’ was a misnomer since, unlike the bedroom at Orange County, Case was the only pilot who used it. It was his home in Austin, but there was little that said ‘Case Reynolds’ about the place – no pictures on the walls, no mementos from his Air Force days cluttering the desk – only a nicely framed photo of the Reynolds family that she’d seen before. A much younger Case in uniform. They all looked relaxed and happy.
Contrast that with the recent photos from the Barnwell web site. No smiles there – no reason to smile. Not all that long ago Case narrowly escaped death in Afghanistan and now his sister...
He swiveled and faced her. He was dressed casually in jeans and a long-sleeve polo and had exchanged his ankle boots for a pair of well-worn slippers. She noticed his grim expression was quickly masked by a smile.
He seems happy to see me anyway.
Anastasia forced herself not to look at the bed. The first time they’d made love it was here in this room.
“What’s up?”
“Can I buy you dinner?”
He nodded. “Sure, I’d like that. Where do you have in mind?”
She grinned. “How about the kitchen? I’ve made spaghetti sauce – won’t take but a few minutes to boil some pasta and make a salad.”
“Great idea. Now I won’t even have to put shoes on!”
That’s my Case! My Case?
Thirty minutes later they were seated at the small table in the kitchen, plates of spaghetti in front of them, along with a salad and slices of warm French bread.
Anastasia poured them each a glass of cabernet sauvignon. “You’re not flying tomorrow, so why not indulge?”
We’ve done this before, but usually it was at my condo. Sometimes I was miffed we didn’t go out more. How stupid was that? I miss those evenings when we’d make dinner together and then we’d sit on the sofa and read, or just watch some stupid movie. We were together.
Case raised his wine glass. “Anastasia, thank you. I was getting ready to graze the refrigerator – I didn’t feel like going out to find something, or even have something delivered. This is perfect. And I’m so glad for the company.”
I’m thrilled.
They ate in silence for a few minutes until he asked, “Anything new with ASA?”
Nice safe topic...
She spent a few minutes filling him in and mentioned bringing Cassandra’s husband on board to run day to day operations for Aero Services Austin – subject to Case’s approval.
“Noah? That’s a great idea. Do you think he’ll be interested?”
“Once you approve, Cassandra said she’d do her best to convince him.”
He chuckled. “Well, that’s a done deal, then!”
She smiled and then studied him for a few moments. “Case, how are you doing?”
Too quickly, he answered, “I’m fine.” He took a sip of wine and stared into the glass.
That’s a canned answer if I ever heard one.
She sat back with folded arms and looked at him. Noticing the silence, he finally looked up.
“No, I mean how are you really, and I’m not looking for some BS that you think everyone should hear. It’s me, Anastasia. Someone who cares about you, and knows you pretty well, so don’t give me a rote answer. The Case Reynolds I’m seeing is not fine.”
He seemed to deflate and this time he took a heathy swallow.
“I’m not fine.” Suddenly there was a flash of anger. “What bothers me is at the memorial and around town, people would come up to us and say they were sorry, and then say something like ‘Juliet’s in heaven now,’ as if that should make us feel better!
“She was killed by a murderous band of thugs. I feel a hollowness inside and it was torture to watch my parents and sister try to deal with the worst kind of tragedy anyone can imagine. My body feels like I’ve been knocked down by a truck, and instead of being here, I should be in an ICU. I hope she’s in heaven ... but I’d rather have her here with me!”
Grief creased his face as he added softly, “I never got to say goodbye.”
He finished his wine. Anastasia refilled the glass, her heart breaking.
He took another drink and seemed lost in sadness.
Anastasia reached across and put her hand on his. “I’m sorry she died, and I’m sorry I never met her. She must have been very special.”
He nodded.
“She saved a young woman from being kidnapped...”
He looked up sharply, a questioning look on his face.
“Jonas and Kesi.”
“Oh, right, they were in Lodi when it happened.”
“Is the young woman all right?”
“Yes ... No ... She’s getting better. It was terrible for her.”
Anastasia didn’t say anything as Case stared into space. Finally, he said, “The night Juliet was killed, Valeria Ramirez, that’s her name, was in the car with her when the kidnappers struck. Juliet was shot several times – her wounds were grievous. In spite of that she killed four of them, and the fifth one fled. Because of her, Valeria was unharmed, at least physically. Her emotional state is similar to mine.”
He paused and swallowed his emotions. “Not long after the shooting, despite everything she’d been through, Valeria wouldn’t leave until she checked on me and Juliet. She came to the surgery waiting room – Juliet’s blood still on her clothes. She cried when she told me how sorry she was. She blamed herself for Juliet’s injuries, and was devastated when she learned of her death ... She still blames herself for what happened that night.”
He shook his head, the sorrow obvious.
“Is she the young woman who was with you at the memorial service?”
He nodded, looking puzzled. “But how?”
“We ... I mean Cassandra and I, looked at the photos and articles on line from the Barnwell newspaper.”
“Oh...”
“Did she go back to Lodi?”
Case shook his head. “She’s staying with my family for a time.”
No explanation was necessary. The photos had shown the pain and sorrow of all concerned. Anastasia understood being able to stay with them was perhaps the balm that the young woman needed.
They sat in silence for a while, sipping their wine.
“I wish I’d been there for the memorial.”
Case considered her statement for a few moments, and then slowly nodded.
Finally, maybe because of the wine, Anastasia blurted, “The photos ... she was always by your side ... she loves you ... do you love her?” She wanted to cover her mouth, but the words couldn’t be unspoken.
Case looked at her, seemingly unphased by her question. It seemed like it was forever before he replied, “She does love me ... At least what someone who is twenty thinks of as love.”
Twenty!
“And?”
Anastasia held her breath. Do I really want to know the answer?
Case took a few moments, considering his answer.
“During these last few weeks in Barnwell, I’ve come to know her and care about her very much ... Love her? Under different circumstances maybe, but right now she’s wounded and hurting and looks at me like I may be the answer to all her problems. She’s become part of my family, but she has such little life experience. I won’t take advantage of her.”
“And when she gets over being wounded?”
He looked at her sharply as if realizing where this conversation was going. “Anastasia, this is about us, isn’t it?”
She hesitated then nodded. “Yes...”
Case looked at her hand which still covered his on the table, then up at her. “Over the months since we ... I broke up with you...” This time he covered her hand with his other hand. “I was stupid to break it off like that, without listening to you.”
We were both stupid – me more than you. Is there hope?
“During that time, I think we’ve both had a chance to think about where we’re going and what we want.”
She nodded silently.
“Anastasia, we want different things in life and from our partners...”
No, Case, I want you ... I’m not going to cry.
She started to protest, but he gently squeezed her hand.
“When I was back in Barnwell, I was reminded of what my parents have – my mother’s parents were against the marriage, convinced she was marrying beneath herself, but she loved my dad and saw in him a man who would always be a farmer and she was content with that. She wanted to be by his side raising children and being part of a small community.
“I’ve never wanted to be a farmer – I’m an airplane driver – that’s all I’ve ever wanted to be. I want a house with a porch swing out front, and a couple of kids and a wife who’s content with being married to an airplane driver. I’m not saying she couldn’t have a career of her own, but she has to accept me for who I am, and not be ashamed to introduce me to her friends and colleagues as just a pilot, and her career can’t be more important than our family, and that would be my pledge, too.”
Did I do that? Yes. I wasn’t content to be with the best looking and sweetest man in the room.
She swallowed. “And I’m not that person?”
He shook his head. “Anastasia, you’re fiercely competitive. That’s an important factor in making Air-Bytes successful, but you want a partner who shares your drive and your need for success. You tried to mold me into something that I could never be. And, ask yourself, would you be content to stay home with kids until they’re ready for school?”
Cassandra asked me that too. With my trust fund we wouldn’t need the money, but children?
“Don’t get me wrong, I could be a stay at home dad for a few years if your career was so important. But think about it – as you grow beyond Air-Bytes and rub shoulders with all those high-rollers as you move up - when we attend those social events, how would you handle the introductions? ‘By the way, this is my husband, Mister Mom?’”
Anastasia cringed inwardly, seeing that very scenario.
“I can’t see trying to change what’s in your DNA.”
She sighed and a single tear streaked her cheek. He’s right, but I don’t want him to be.
She struggled to control her voice. “Case, you’re the nicest, sweetest man I know, and that’s what I love about you.”
She paused and it was her turn to take a healthy swallow. “These last few months have been rough because I missed you so. You talked about how you feel without Juliet in your life, well ... I know it’s not the same, but there are many days when I feel lost without my friend Case Reynolds in my life.”
He just looked at her.
“But you’re right. We have very different goals, different expectations.” She looked at the dark red liquid in her glass as the tears started to flow.
She took a tissue from her pocket. “I’m sorry.” She tried to smile. “I’m just not very good at this breaking up stuff.”
Looking concerned, Case came around the table and pulled her to her feet. He put his arms around her as she pressed herself against his chest. Her tears continued.
“Anastasia, we’re still going to be friends, aren’t we?”
She looked up, and tried to smile through the tears. “Case, you do understand that’s the oldest break up line in the book, right next to ‘it’s me, not you?’”
He stifled a laugh. “Don’t ever change.”
And then he kissed her, or she kissed him.
In the early hours of the morning Anastasia awoke. There was no disorientation, she knew exactly where she was. Case was sleeping on his back and she was half draped across him, feeling him, smelling him – them. After a long dry spell for each of them their love-making had been intense. The second time was slower, almost languid, as they remembered the places and touches that brought pleasure.
I’m so content here. Savor these moments because they won’t come again.
Her tears fell onto his chest. Last night our love-making was saying goodbye. I’m going to miss this – the intimacy with Case. He’s a good man, maybe the best man for me ... but he’s right, we want different things and trying to stay together will just tear us apart. But why does it have to hurt so much?
Pressed against him, she remembered traveling together, scouting locations for Air-Bytes, and at the end of each day coming back to their hotel and making love with all the enthusiasm of new lovers. She also thought about the times she traveled with him to the outlying offices in a TBM after the company was up and running. She would watch him as he flew, seemingly so relaxed at the controls, making that powerful airplane do what he wanted. There was never much conversation while he was flying, his concentration focused on making their trip as safe as possible.
She smiled slightly in the darkness as she recalled his gentle and humorous rebuff when she teasingly asked if he was interested in becoming a member of the mile-high club.
All those memories ... such a good man. That girl ... Valeria ... would be lucky to have him and if the photos are any indication, she adores him. The eight-year age difference? Who knows? He said she has little life experience, but somehow being in a car and attacked by kidnappers while your protector is mortally wounded counts for a lot in my book.
I just want him to be happy ... but not with Vika... She thought ruefully.
Case hardly stirred as she slipped from the warm bed. She stepped into the adjacent bathroom for a quick shower. She hated removing the smell of them, but it felt like it was an important first step in their new relationship – a ritual cleansing perhaps.
She dried herself and moved back into the bedroom where she took clean underwear and jeans and a sweater from the bottom drawer of the chest of drawers in the room. After their breakup she’d never got around to removing them. Now the drawer was empty of her things.
The ritual cleansing continues.
Anastasia quickly dressed in the dim light that came from the parking lot through the high-set window. She kissed him lightly on the forehead, picked up her purse and jacket and left the room without looking back.
She stepped into a pre-dawn fine mist as she walked out of the hangar into the deserted parking lot. She pulled her jacket around her in a futile attempt to keep the chill away as she hurried to her car. Once there, while waiting for the heater to kick in she put her head on the steering wheel and the tears flowed anew.
___________________________________
Jonas watched the tug pull the TBM into the Air-Bytes hangar at Austin.
That aircraft is amazing – easy to fly, powerful, responsive, terrific rate of climb and easy on fuel. And soon we’ll be taking delivery of the 950s, which are even better. I can’t wait to take Kesi up.
It was late-afternoon and he and Jeff Paulson had spent the day on a cross country flight that had taken them the thousand miles from Austin to Salt Lake, where he was introduced to the Air-Bytes staff. Over the last couple of weeks, since Case had returned, he’d been freed up to visit all the Air-Bytes offices. He was impressed.
Salt Lake had been the last one. On the return they took a detour to Tyler, Texas, where they had a late lunch at a nearby café with Jeff’s friends, James Cavanaugh and his pregnant wife Dr. Sarah Evans.
Cassandra had mentioned she had an older brother but with few details. Jonas felt an immediate kinship with James, through their shared experiences in the Marines and in Afghanistan. He found it interesting, as he watched the interaction between Jeff and James, that there was no Marine versus Navy joking around. When asked how they met, James had worn a wry smile, as he replied, “Well, we were both involved in the same little dustup in Afghanistan, which resulted in the Navy and Marines no longer needing our services.”
Jonas almost missed the flicker of pain that crossed Sarah’s face.
The conversation moved to Jonas, and he thought he’d done well in downplaying his final flight in a Cobra in Afghanistan – making it into a humorous anecdote.
“After it quit flying, I tried to park my Cobra on the side of a hill.” He made a roll-over motion with his hand. “I’m damned lucky the Marines didn’t make me pay for it!”
That got the obligatory laugh from Jeff and James. Sarah smiled slightly looking like she was trying hard not to encourage them. He was sure that she’d heard tales of the Marine Corps’ notoriously parsimonious nature.
He raised his arm to show a battered watch with a fraying green nylon band. “They did dock my final pay because I didn’t turn in my issue watch, though!”
All seemed fascinated by his tales of being in the Kenyan Air Force for five years. Jonas kept the narrative light and made no reference to the continuing war against al Shabaab. He also spoke glowingly about his daughter Kesi. He did note that Sarah cast an appraising look at the long scar on his forearm.
As they were being dropped at Tyler Pounds Regional Airport, Sarah and James extended an invitation to Jonas to visit any time, but he had to promise to bring Kesi.
As Jonas walked through the hangar toward the offices at the back, he was intercepted by Kesi. Instead of her normal welcoming smile she looked upset. Before he could ask what was troubling her, she blurted, “Erica called. She’s coming here!”
“Erica?”
“Yes, Erica. You remember, our good friend, Lieutenant Commander Yang, who we were never, ever, going to see again?”
He shook his head. “As if I could forget. What in blazes does she want?”
“Don’t ask me. I was with Mrs. Delgado when she called. She’s over at the passenger terminal and was going to catch a cab. She called about the time you were on final, so we can expect her any minute.”
“Damn...”
“Yeah, damn. By the way, have you ever told Anastasia about Erica?”
“No, never thought it was important. Ex-girlfriends from long ago are not exactly something to bring up when you’ve only been working with someone for a few weeks. Why would I?”
Kesi crossed her arms and gave him one of those inscrutable female looks.
Where do they learn that stuff?
“Dad, I’m not blind. I see the way you look at her. You’ve got the hots for Anastasia.”
Busted!
“The hots huh? I think I hear Christy and Emma talking.”
Kesi gave him a hint of a smile. “No comment.”
This time he gave her a look. “Anyway, we’ve not been here long and I’ve been so busy that I’m rarely around Anastasia, much less had time to compare life histories.”
“But when you are around, you can’t keep your eyes off her.”
“That obvious, huh?”
Kesi nodded. “It’s okay. I really like her, and I think she likes you.”
“More than Case Reynolds?”
Where’d that come from? I sounded like some whiny high schooler.
Kesi gave him a long look. “Dad, they’re history ... at least as far as Mr. Reynolds is concerned.”
He gave her a puzzled look.
“The day Mr. Reynolds arrived, actually not long before he arrived, I went into the kitchen for some water and Anastasia was making spaghetti sauce. She told me she was making dinner for him. She seemed really happy.”
“Sounds like they patched up their differences after we saw them at Orange County.”
“I wondered about that, even though I thought he was in love with Jenny’s mom, Cindy.”
“From Lodi?”
“Yes. You saw them together on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day – pretty hard to miss the chemistry...”
He nodded. “But he told me he’s never going back there.”
“After what happened to his sister, I can’t blame him, but every time I talk to Jenny she asks about Mr. Reynolds. I know she likes him, but she admitted it was also for her mom.”
“That’s fine, but Lodi is still fifteen hundred miles from here and I doubt if either of them is planning to move anytime soon, but let’s get back on track – what about Case and Anastasia?”
Kesi gave him a look that said, ‘I’m getting there.’
“Anyway, the next day, Anastasia wasn’t the same. Sure, she was pleasant when she was outside her office, but it seemed forced and she spent most of the day holed up in her office. One time I went into the bathroom and she was fixing her makeup and her eyes were red. She told me it was allergies.”
“Oh.”
“So, Anastasia wasn’t happy about whatever happened the day Mr. Reynolds came back. I think they had their final breakup that night. When I see them together, they seem so tentative, like they’re trying to figure out how to transition to being just friends, or just co-workers. Outwardly, they seem friendly enough with each other, but when they’re together it’s always with other people around. Whatever close relationship they once had is no longer there, and it’s obvious that, at least in the mind of Mr. Reynolds, it’s over. Anastasia’s having a harder time.”
Why didn’t I notice? Maybe because I’ve been out of the office so much learning the routes and meeting the far-flung staff, and at the same time defining the manager of operations job. All the meetings I’ve attended that included Case and Anastasia have had jam-packed agendas. Plus, I’ve got Kesi to take care of and we’re trying to buy a house.
Jonas remembered the conversation he had with Case at the Christmas Eve party.
‘Expectations.’ That’s what he said. They have different expectations about their future. She wanted to mold him into something he wasn’t. I guess they couldn’t figure out how to bridge that gulf. So where does that leave me. Mr. Rebound? I don’t want that and if Anastasia’s still getting over Case, then maybe I need to step back. I can picture us together – I’ve never met a woman who affects me like she does, but I remember what a breakup feels like. Erica made sure of that! Yes, step back ... For now.
“That’s too bad...”
“Dad, I think she needs a shoulder to cry on, and you should provide that shoulder.”
He gave her a long look. “Romantic advice from a thirteen-year-old?”
Kesi looked smug. “I don’t want her to get away.”
Jonas laughed. “Okay, fountain of all wisdom, I understand, but I think I’ll step back and let her sort out her feelings first.” Kesi started to argue, but he held up his hand. “I’m not saying I’ll ignore her or that you shouldn’t keep up your friendship, but for now...”
Kesi brightened. “And when we move into our new house in a few weeks we can have a pool party house warming.”
He looked at her with affection. “Funny how all of our top five picks had a pool?”
Kesi blushed, and quickly added, “It gets warm here and Anastasia thought it was a good idea. Adds to the resale value. You know, I’ll bet she looks pretty amazing in a bikini.”
Anastasia in our backyard lounging by the pool in a bikini. Damn!
“I could use a bathing suit. Maybe a bikini...”
His vision of Anastasia evaporated. “Don’t even think about it.”
Kesi grinned. “Gotcha!”
Jonas laughed.
Kesi laughed too, and then wore a thoughtful expression for a few seconds. “Mrs. Delgado told me that when Air-Bytes’ TBM 900s go to Aero Services Austin, at least one will be reconfigured to carry six passengers. Maybe during the summer, we could rent that plane from ASA to fly to Lodi and pick up Jenny and her mom, and surprise Mr. Reynolds.”
Jonas looked at his daughter with a sense of admiration. “Guess you’ve got it all figured out.”
Keri grinned. “We’ll get them together and they’ll have to work out the rest.”
“And Anastasia?”
“Oh, don’t worry, I’m working on it,” she replied cheekily.
He shook his head.
“And you, the girl with the answers. What are we going to do about Erica?”
She gave him a wry smile, her troubled expression long gone. “Dad, that one’s on you. I don’t want to be anywhere in the vicinity. Just keep shaking your head at whatever she’s cooked up, and make sure you continue to say no. One thing you can count on is that whatever it is, the primary beneficiary ... or actually the sole beneficiary, will be Erica.”
He nodded. “Okay, got it. But if she gets out of the cab with a sword it’s every man for himself!!”
Kesi shook her head and chuckled as she turned and walked toward Mrs. Delgado’s office.
“Coward!” He called after her.
She waved over her shoulder.
Jonas watched Anastasia come out of her office and chat with Jeff and Mrs. Delgado for a couple of minutes. He examined her from across the hangar.
Even dressed casually in fitted jeans and a sweater with her auburn hair in a short ponytail, she’s stunning. She looks closer to twenty than thirty.
Anastasia suddenly looked his way and smiled.
Caught! I could look at her all day, but she doesn’t seem to mind.
He smiled in return, noting that Mrs. Delgado had caught the interaction, but maintained her professional persona. Anastasia said something to Mrs. Delgado, which caused her to smile, and then she turned and walked toward Jonas.
I have to step back and give her some time. Maybe I’ll ask her to have coffee. That should be okay. How soon can I get rid of Erica?
“Hi Jonas. Welcome back. Jeff tells me you had a pretty good day and lunch in Tyler. Cassandra’s around somewhere and I’m sure she’ll be happy to hear about your lunch with her brother and Sarah.”
He grinned. “Sarah and James are nice people. They invited me back, but I have to bring Kesi. As far as the rest of the trip – well, any day flying, especially in a TBM, is a great day. Mary Douglas and her crew in Salt Lake are top-notch. The more I meet the staff the more thankful I am that you and Case and Cassandra recruited me.”
“I’m glad we recruited you, too...”
Before she could go on, they were distracted by the sight of a taxi pulling up outside the large open door to the hangar. Almost immediately Erica stepped out of the cab into the late afternoon sunshine and made her way into the brightly lighted hangar.
She was dressed to impress in a dark pencil skirt, cream silk blouse and heels. The skirt was just short enough and heels tall enough to show off her long legs to their best advantage. She had a suede jacket over one arm, and an expensive-looking leather travel bag hung from her shoulder.
She was always a stunner and has become more beautiful. Too bad she’s a manipulative mbwajike who hates my daughter.
Erica spotted him. “Oh, there you are Jonas. Lovely to see you.” Ignoring Anastasia, she surprised him by quickly moving into his personal space. She put her arms around his neck and reached up and kissed him. It happened so suddenly that he had no chance to avoid it without causing embarrassment. It wasn’t a long kiss, but it certainly seemed an attempt to stake out her territory.
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