Chapter 6: The Trips

June arrived. I dreaded the events ahead. Beth would be on the two business trips she planned. She would be in Chicago the entire second week from Monday to Sunday, then in San Antonio from the following Wednesday through Sunday. Since our wedding, we had never been apart for more than a day.

Beth, feeling the same separation anxiety, made arrangements so I was taken care of. She made sure I had every evening occupied. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday nights I would have dinner at Paul and Melody’s house. Tuesday and Thursday, I’d be at her sister, Trish’s home with her husband Sean. Saturday, my parents were to keep me occupied. And, of course, Beth would call every night.

Monday, the first day of her trip, my phone rang just as I got home from Melody and Paul’s.

“Sweetie, you miss me?”

“This is only day one and I’m a mess, Baby. I need more pillows tonight to hug, but you’re irreplaceable.”

“I don’t know how people do this business travel. I’m not made for it. I’m sitting alone in a cold hotel room feeling incredibly lonely.”

“Is anyone else there from your company?”

“Not yet. They all arrive on Wednesday. Until then I’m here alone getting the trade show booth set up and the hospitality suite ready. So, it was just me in this big suite with room service for dinner.”

“You’re in a suite?”

“Yeah. On Thursday and Friday, we have invitations out to customers to come here for appetizers and drinks. I stay in an attached bedroom, but the suite is a big party room that holds about 40 people. Being big seems to make it even lonelier.”

We talked for an hour. It felt the same as when we were teenagers and we already had a strong love for each other. Being apart made us ache.

Every day our conversation was similar. I wanted to dive into the phone and hold her. I could hear the loneliness in her voice, and I know she felt mine. I didn’t hide it very well. We tried phone sex one night.

“Beth, was that good for you?”

“It didn’t feel bad. How about you?”

“Honestly, it felt empty and a little selfish. Don’t get me wrong—orgasms are fine. But it’s being with you, holding you, kissing you, and touching you that makes sex so good. This was ... well ... just a little weird. Do you know what I mean?”

“Yeah. Very empty feeling. How can I be so horny for you afterward?”

“I think we both know. I vote we never do this again. I want you here with me. What do you think?”

“It was worth a try, but I’m with you. I’m done with that experiment.”

That Thursday and Friday were late nights for her, so we arranged to talk before the hospitality suite opened at 6 PM. It was 7 PM my time, so she called early enough to give us an hour before she had to get to work.

Saturday was the last night I’d be without her until the next trip. She was flying home in the morning. Beth called at 5.

“Hi, Nate.”

“Baby, are you okay? You sound awful.”

“Sorry. I’m really tired from tearing down the booth today, and this week has really worn me down. I really miss you!”

She was crying, and that opened my tear ducts too.

“You know how much I love you, Beth?”

She cried even harder. This week was difficult for us both, but it seemed to really affect her.

“Baby, don’t cry. We can make up for the lost time when you get home tomorrow.”

She struggled for several minutes to get any composure while I tried to calm her down.

“Nate, I miss you so much, and I’m tired, I don’t feel that good. I just need to go to bed.”

After a very short goodbye and exchanged words of love, our unusually quick call ended. It felt strange. It seemed neither one of us were made to be apart.

Saturday night was an exceptionally restless night. I was miserable. Our call upset me and all I wanted was Beth in my arms. I awoke Sunday morning and felt sick from working myself up all night. I never missed church, but that day I did. Beth would be home by 2 in the afternoon, and I couldn’t calm myself down from the anticipation.

I heard her car door close and ran outside to greet her. We locked in an embrace and bawled our eyes out. I didn’t know if I could take this again the following week.

I kissed her, but she seemed embarrassed to kiss through the slobbering tears. She walked towards the house as I retrieved her luggage. When I entered the house, I didn’t see her.

“Beth, where are you, Baby?” I called several times.

“Back here, in the bathroom.”

I went to our room, sat on the bed, and waited for her to come out. When she did, her face was red from all the crying and she looked incredibly sad. She had on pajamas, which I thought was strange.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry Nate,” she mumbled as tears flowed again. “I wanted today to be so special, but I don’t feel well. I need to lie down a bit.”

“Sure, Baby.” I pulled back the covers to let her lie down. I felt her forehead for a temperature, and while it didn’t seem too warm, it was a little elevated. That could have just as easily been from crying. I gave her a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll get you a glass of ginger ale, and let you rest.”

When I returned, she appeared to be asleep. I considered climbing next to her but thought better of it assuming she needed to rest.

I tried to watch TV but I ended up just pacing or restlessly sitting. I’ve never seen Beth like this in all the years I’ve known her. I was scared. I prayed she wasn’t coming down with something serious. I kept checking on her and she just slept. I felt her forehead almost every hour and made sure she was breathing normally.

My emotions were raging battles within my mind and spilling over into my restless gut. I was overjoyed she was here but despondent that I couldn’t hold her—kiss her—make mad, passionate love to her. She stayed in bed right through the night.

The next morning when I awoke, Beth was in the shower. We normally showered together every morning. I went into the bathroom and she had just come out of the shower.

“Good morning, Baby.” I kissed her and she gave me a quick peck. “You didn’t wait for me,” I said with a playful pout.

“Sorry. I need to get to the office since I only have two days before I have to leave again.”

“Are you feeling good enough to go in today?”

“I have to,” she said as she ran out of the bathroom to get dressed.

I did my morning routine, got my shower, and went to the bedroom hoping to talk to her a minute. She wasn’t there.

“Beth?”

“Bye, Nate. See you tonight,” I heard as the front door closed.

She was back from her trip, but I felt like she was still gone. What was going on? I’d never seen her like this. I hoped by tonight, things could be back to normal.