Chapter 2: Growing up Together

I was two years old when the Haines family bought the house just down the street. At that time there weren’t very many kids in the neighborhood, so when my parents welcomed the Haines to the neighborhood and found a couple of the same age as them with a growing family, a strong friendship formed immediately. The two families never had to knock to enter each other’s homes.

I can’t remember a time when I didn’t know Beth Haines. We were inseparable in our toddler and preschool years. In our early school years, she was my best friend even when all the other boys claimed to hate girls. I was always her protector and confidant. We shared everything, including the innocent ‘show-me-yours’ experiences.

I’ll never forget the first time I told Beth that I loved her. We were in fourth grade. At the family dinner table one night, my parents were teaching my older brother, Paul, what it meant to love someone. I listened to every word they said and thought about Beth as they described that love was caring more about the needs of the one you love than you care about your own needs and that you want to be with them more than anything else. I knew that was how I felt about Beth. I had to tell her and I remember the conversation as if it happened yesterday.

I ran to Beth’s house after dinner and pulled her out to the swing set behind her house. You would have thought I was dragging her from a house on fire.

“Nate, slow down. Geez, what’s wrong with you?”

“I just have to tell you something.”

“You’re hurting my arm!”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m okay. What do you need to tell me?”

I started to freeze. “Well...”

“Well, what?”

“Beth, I heard mom and dad talking to Paul about how he feels about his girlfriend. I ... I love you.”

“What?”

“I love you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I know we’re kids, but I heard everything they said about what love is. Everything they said is how you and I are. I want to be with you all the time.”

“I know, Nate. I love all my friends and family, but you’re different. I love you, too!”

We were nine years old. We were aware of how silly it sounded, and yet we were serious.

That budding love was put to the test in less than a year later. In fifth grade, the separation of kid social groups really started to kick in. I pretty much got along with everyone, but the guys that were clearly athletic and destined for sports stardom were a group I wanted to be part of. Beth was always cute, but like many ten-year-olds, she needed braces. Four of the future jocks and I were together on the playground, and they started making fun of Beth the first week her braces were installed.

“Hey, metal-mouth. Nice look! I guess you won’t need an ugly mask for Halloween.”

I said nothing. It hurt me that Tim said that to Beth, but I wanted to be part of the guy’s group. I just smiled. I’ll never forget the look in Beth’s eyes when she looked at me. She was quietly crying when we went back to class and avoided me all day. She ran home after school ahead of me instead of us walking together. I went home and went to my bedroom and cried. I knew what I had done. I knew I was wrong. My mom came to my room and talked to me, and convinced me to go to Beth and apologize after dinner.

It felt like I was walking to the gallows. My stomach and chest hurt. I was on the edge of tears. We normally just walked into each other’s houses, but I knocked and Beth’s mom answered.

“Nate! What happened today? Beth won’t come out of her room.”

“Hi, Mrs. Haines.” My tears started to fall. “I ... I was ... mean to her. Can I talk to her?”

“Go ahead up to her room. I hope she talks to you.”

I marched solemnly up the stairs and tried her door. It was locked, so I knocked.

“Beth?”

“Go away!”

“Please, Beth. I’m sorry.”

“Leave me alone.”

I started crying. I couldn’t hold it back. “Beth, I was stupid and wrong. Please let me come in.”

“No. You think I’m ugly.” She was bawling and sniffling.

“That’s not right. I think you’re the prettiest girl in the world. Please let me in.”

I heard her walk to the door and unlock it. I went in and I held her as we cried together.

“I was stupid. It will never happen again. I love you, just like I said before.”

“Then, why?” She asked while still sniffling.

“I wanted Tim and the guys to like me, and I was stupid. I mean it, you are the prettiest girl there is. I won’t let it happen again.”

“What?”

“No one will be mean to you again if I’m around. You’re the only one that’s important. I don’t care what happens, it’s you and me—okay?”

We held each other for a while. Our youth sabotaged our ability to express the depth of what we were creating. But we both understood. We loved each other, and it would be the two of us against the world from that time on.

The next day on the playground, I was with Beth when Tim and the guys came over. I got into Tim’s face.

“Tell Beth you’re sorry for what you said.”

“No. She’s an ugly metal-mouth.”

I bloodied his nose and Brad’s too. I kicked Jason in the nuts, and Craig ran off when I went back to punching Tim over and over. That was my first three-day suspension. Beth’s mom let her stay home so we could keep each other company. Plus, she knew the jocks would want to reclaim their pride without me there.

After that, nobody messed with Beth or me.

In junior high school, our friendship remained strong. Holding hands and walking together was just who we were. Beth and I were always a ‘we’ and were rarely away from each other. Dating formally before we were sixteen was strictly forbidden by our parents, but Beth and I managed to have our first serious kiss by the time we were 14.