Chapter 3

Tammy was dead. Cindi’s words hit Doug like a ton of bricks. His fears came to pass for that lost woman—that intelligent, beautiful, and lost woman. He pulled Cindi into his office and they both fell to their knees and sat on the floor to comfort each other. John walked in with tears in his eyes and sat in a visitor’s chair.

“John, do we know what happened?” Doug asked.

John choked out a response. “They found her in her car, overdosed on sleeping pills. She took her own life.”

That tore at Doug’s heart. His thoughts ran amuck. “Why wouldn’t she listen, take our offer for help? How did I fail her? I fired her. Did that drive her over the edge?“ He was wracked with guilt.

John continued. “I know the two of you are the closest to this. Go home. Do what you need to do to get past this. Take whatever time you need. And, Doug—I know you. Don’t you dare think what we had to do had anything to do with this outcome! You did the right thing. We did the right thing. She was—beyond our help it seems.”

Doug gave John a solid ‘Bro-hug’ before leaving.

Doug was worried about Cindi driving, so he took her home then drove to his place almost in a trance. When he opened the door, Brie sensed his mood. Brie knew. He collapsed on the couch and she simply jumped up and snuggled him. No out-of-control wags or frisky barking. Just snuggle.

Doug sat almost in a state of shock for several hours dwelling on a life that could have had so much promise but was thrown away like rubbish. He truly liked Tammy and would have done anything for her. But her life experiences and upbringing were like a foreign language to him. He felt like he couldn’t fix what he didn’t understand.

Feeling helpless in a life-and-death situation ate at his gut. He found himself wishing Dani could be here with him, but they weren’t at a place in their relationship where he felt it would be appropriate.

Doug took Brie back to the park where he often found peace and where Brie always seemed to find a way to cheer him up. She did her best and the beautiful nature around him also tried to brighten his mood, but it only worked a little. Doug nearly broke every time he thought of how he let Tammy go. Did that drive her over the edge? He knew this wasn’t his fault. John was right. He still hated the possibility that he may have been part of the reason she took her own life.

Doug stopped at the church and talked with Pastor Mike. He helped Doug a great deal and they prayed together. The pastor questioned if Doug was up to running rehearsal that night, and Doug assured him he was. In his mind, he only hoped he was.

Doug didn’t talk about Tammy to anyone before the rehearsal. He didn’t think he could hold himself together if he mentioned it. So the rehearsal was subdued, for sure. It was even more solemn than the day two weeks ago when Doug fired Tammy.

Just as had happened two weeks ago, after everyone left, Dani was there.

“Doug, tell me. Spill.”

‘Spill’ wasn’t quite the right word. He gushed tears and Dani simply held him. He finally managed two broken words.

“Tammy ... died.”

Dani held him tighter and he regained enough to control to share some details.

“My God, Doug. That poor girl. You don’t feel responsible, do you?”

“No, not really. It’s just—such a waste of a life that should have been spectacular. Watching someone you consider a friend struggle to find a shred of happiness before ending her life—it feels so hopeless, and I felt so helpless.”

Doug had a sudden realization hit him hard. “Oh, no. This is so selfish of me. Angie told me you lost your husband not too long ago and I’m being shamefully insensitive.”

“Don’t think that way, Doug. I’m doing okay, and it’s two different situations.”

“True, but it pains me you had to go through that kind of loss.” Doug turned and straddled the piano bench to face Dani as she did the same.

She went on to share how she and her husband met in college, fell in love, and were married a year after graduation. They had just celebrated their tenth anniversary when a teenage girl who was texting while driving ran a red light and t-boned his Toyota. Both drivers died on impact. So, at thirty-two years of age, she was a widow. Doug held her hands as they both teared up while she relayed the story. His heart hurt for what she had to go through.

“Dani, you seem to be the glue holding me together these days. You’ve become an important friend in only a few weeks and I wish I knew you earlier to help you the way you’ve helped me.”

“I’ll never forget him, of course. But I’m secure in where he is now and I’m moving forward. And you’re helping me now, and that’s what friends do, right? Help each other?”

“I feel like the ‘taker’ in this friendship so far.”

“No. Just having you as my friend in my new home area has been a huge help for me.”

“Thanks, Dani. I think I’m good now have a better handle on myself, but would you do me one big favor?”

“Sure.”

“Give me a Dani hug—they’re something special!”

She smiled and embraced him as they comforted each other. Doug felt his cares begin to melt away.

“I needed that too, Doug. I’m guessing tonight may not be the best time to practice a comedy skit?”

“Yeah, you’re probably right. We can run through it after church again.”

Sharing strong emotions from grief brought them closer together. Doug felt the strong pull towards Dani and wanted to ask her out even more, but the day a friend died wasn’t the time to pursue it. He was grateful for what Dani had become to him to this point. The promise for more later felt within his grasp.

Doug called Dani the following day to thank her once again for being there for him. They shared an upbeat conversation for about 45 minutes when he asked her for a favor.

“Dani, can I lean on your friendship one more time regarding Tammy?”

“Sure. What do you need?”

“Would you mind going to her service with me on Saturday. I could use your strong shoulder by my side.”

“I’d be honored to go with you. Oh, also, did Lisa call you about Sunday?”

“Yeah. Are you going to their place after church too?”

“I am. I think we can still practice and not be too late.”

Doug selfishly wanted Dani’s support at Tammy’s service, but he didn’t want it to feel at all like a date. That’s not how he wanted to remember their first romantic encounter. But he set the target. After their dress rehearsal the following Thursday, it would be the right time to ask her the question that burned in his heart.

The memorial service that Saturday was more somber and stranger than any funeral he’d ever attended. Doug thought about how everyone wants to know there would be some kind of legacy left behind when their time comes. Other than people from his company and Tammy’s father, there were only a few in attendance. Her legacy seemed to be loneliness.

Doug knew her father was perhaps the greatest ‘root-cause’ of Tammy’s problems. He had trouble expressing sympathy but greeted him anyway. He was surprised how badly he was taking Tammy’s death considering how he had treated his daughter. Even monsters must have some feelings.

Doug counted his blessings as he considered the tortured, lonely life Tammy endured. Dani made the day bearable.

Sunday morning, the team did well as usual. After the service, Doug and Dani ran through their skit several times and made some minor corrections. But it went well. The best thing, though, was the laughter returned—bigtime.

Lisa and Pete asked Dani, Doug, Angie, and Rob to their home that afternoon for a picnic. This group of six were becoming more like family than friends. True, Dani and Doug were single, but Lisa and Angie were confident that wouldn’t be true for long. They’re not blind, and their romantic instincts saw the chemistry developing before their eyes.

Dani and Doug were able to chat during the picnic, but it was a group gathering making it difficult to be alone. After eating some perfectly cooked steaks and grilled veggies, they played several games and thoroughly enjoyed the entire group’s company.

Doug saw yet another side of Dani—she was darn competitive. He loved it. And, she was not above cheating, but did it very openly and very cutely. Shoot, it seemed everything she did was cute.

And, yes, Doug had another food misadventure. He ended up wearing a bowl of onion dip when, while carrying it, he turned quickly and ran into Pete. Dani had the whole group keeping a scorecard of Doug’s misadventures. If she sensed his head getting too big, the scorecard came out to humble him a bit.

The week progressed uneventfully for a change. The Wednesday rehearsal was completely energetic and smooth.

In his mind, Doug has been preparing for Thursday night to be ‘thee’ night. He practiced how he wanted to ask her out. Actually, he overprepared. His head was a mess.

Doug was in the sanctuary when Dani arrived to practice.

“Hey, Dani. You ready for this?”

“I was born ready.”

“You didn’t just say that, did you?”

“What? I can’t be corny too?” She laughed.

They ran through once and she had her part down perfectly. Doug was getting nervous about what he wanted to ask her and couldn’t focus.

“You had less trouble two weeks ago. What’s on your mind tonight, mister?”

“I can’t hide anything from you, can I?”

“Nope. How can I help?”

Doug threw out everything he practiced saying and decided to wing it.

“I’m not sure you can.”

“Why? I’d like to if possible. What’s the problem?”

“Well, that’s just it. You are!”

“Me? What did I do?”

“It’s not anything you’ve done.” He smiled. “It’s—I’m more nervous than I think I’ve ever been because ... I want to ask—if you’d go on a date with me?”

“And why would you be so nervous about asking little ol’ me?” She tried to feign shyness.

“Because anything but a ‘yes’ would crush me.”

“Well, I wouldn’t want to deliver a crushing blow, so ... yes!”

Doug smiled so hard it hurt his cheeks.

“Are you free tomorrow night?”

“I’m not sure. Let’s see—Timmy at 5, Joe at 7...”

“Are you messing with me?”

“Okay,” she laughed. “Tomorrow night. What do you have in mind?”

“Very casual. How about an early dinner at our favorite spot, and some outdoor activity that’s a surprise.”

“I love a man of mystery. When will you pick me up?”

They hammered out the details, then went back to practicing. Then it went perfectly. The movements and the crisscrossing and the bumps and the touching—all felt wonderfully different. Doug would later think of it as ‘first-date-foreplay.’

Doug floated on air the following day. Cindi noticed right away and he shared a little about his upcoming date with Dani. She was happy for him even as she realized her chances for a hookup were gone. Then again, she understood she never had a chance. Doug was in her fantasies, but she knew she was not in his.

Doug had a nice talk with his boss and friend, John, who was thrilled Doug was getting back in the saddle. Doug hated that saying but appreciated John too much to challenge him.

Doug picked up Dani at 5:30 and they enjoyed a light dinner at the Old Tavern. They chatted, held hands, and looked into each other’s eyes with a different purpose than before. They already had a strong connection as friends. Now they sought chemistry. Doug was finding it, and he felt Dani was too.

They finished and prepared to leave the restaurant.

“So, where are you taking me?”

“It’s still a surprise.”

“Alright,” she answered with a cute sing-song voice.

“By the way,” she added, “you do realize that’s the first meal we’ve had at the Old Tavern that ended without you wearing food?”

“Someday, you’re gonna screw something up more than once, and you know what they say about paybacks.”

Their banter was fun, free and easy. Dani seemed to beam. Doug was happier than he ever remembered.

He took her to the fire company’s annual carnival. They floated around like kids, rode rides, played challenge games and won useless stuffed animals. They held hands, she skipped like a little girl, and Doug was in his glory.

Doug decided they’d have their dessert at the carnival. She went with a snow cone and she shared so they’d both have blue lips. Doug went with funnel cake, which they also shared until a teenage girl ran into him and he ended up wearing the powdered sugar on his dark blue shirt. Doug couldn’t believe it. Dani couldn’t stop laughing—more entries on her scorecard!

They didn’t want the night to end.

“Dani, that was more fun than I’ve had in a long time.”

“For me, too. You’re a fun guy—and don’t even think of making the corny ‘fungi’ mushroom joke,” she giggled.

“We have the social and our ‘soon-to-be-historic’ skit tomorrow. Would you have any slight interest in date number two after church on Sunday?”

“My interest is well beyond slight, Mister Stevens. Way, way, way beyond.”

“How about a classy lunch after church this Sunday?”

“Classy, huh?”

“Yeah. If we keep going to the Old Tavern people will think we have a drinking problem.”

“Okay. Classy it is.”

“Can I push my luck?”

“It depends on what you mean.”

“Can you keep dinner plans open too? I’d really like to spend lots of time getting to know you and we can, sort of, combine date two and three into one big date.”

Danielle smiled sheepishly. Doug’s heart melted as he watched her.

Dani teased, “What if you don’t like me after we have lunch?”

“I don’t see that happening. I’m more concerned you’ll find me an insufferable bore and be anxious to get away.”

“I don’t see that happening either.”

“So, lunch and dinner?”

“My calendar is clear. You have me all day.”

“I feel sorry for you. You’ll be stuck with me almost all weekend!”

The skit at the church social went seamlessly, and it was hilarious. Dani and Doug both knew how to play the crowd, and it would become a classic in the churches archives for sure.

In many respects, the social was date number two since Doug and Dani were obviously together. Angie and Lisa kept catching Doug’s eye and flashed smiles and thumbs up. The skit displayed their obvious growing chemistry.

Doug was staying a little cautious. Date one and the social both ended with passionate hugs, but no kiss yet. He ached to taste her lips. She seemed slightly disappointed he hadn’t kissed her yet, so Doug was sure Sunday would launch their passion.

Once again, Sunday morning praise went very well. Dani led three of the songs, and her voice seemed to float right down from heaven. The congregation responded fantastically to her lead. Doug beamed from the piano.

Dani only lived a half-mile from the church, so when the services were over, she went home to freshen up before lunch. Doug went home to let Brie out and drove to Dani’s apartment.

He knocked on her door, and a warm smile with sparkling eyes greeted him.

“Hi again!”

“How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Make my insides melt every time I see you.”

She blushed. “Are you always this sweet?”

“I don’t know. I do know I have a bad habit of saying what I think even if it sounds corny.”

“That’s not a bad thing. I hate guessing what someone is thinking. And you know I like corny.”

“Then I hope you like these flowers. They may be cliché, but I hope they tell you how thankful I am how you’re totally monopolizing my mind and I can’t believe you’re going out with me. I can’t stop thinking about you.”

Dani glowed with a mixture of blushing and grinning.

“They’re beautiful! So, will these remind me to move you upfront in my thoughts when I see them?”

“That’s my hope.”

“Well, I love them, and thank you.” Dani kissed him on the cheek. “Let me put them in water and we can leave when you’re ready.”

“I’m ready now.”

“Okay. I’ll be right back. But you know they won’t work, right?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re already in the front of my mind. I don’t need reminding. But they’ll bring me a smile every time I see them.”

Doug didn’t know if there was a cloud above cloud nine. He didn’t even know where the expression came from. He only knew his state of bliss kept increasing.

Doug chose to take her to an old hotel in the center of Newtown that had a great restaurant where he knew they could have a quiet lunch. Neither were hungry enough for a big entree, so they decided to order a bunch of appetizers to share. The appetizers at that restaurant were true, small bite-sized appetizers—not like the bucket of nachos at Old Tavern. So, Doug ordered six different varieties and asked the waiter to bring them out leisurely one at a time. The nice young man seemed to understand their vibe and happily complied.

“When I first met you, I was glad to see you getting to know Lisa and Angie. Those two families are terrific people and they’re my closest friends—other than my dog, Brie.”

“You have a dog? How did I not know you have a dog? I love dogs.”

“You’ll get to meet her later. I hope you don’t mind if I’m your chef tonight.”