Chapter 2

Doug slept soundly that night after his conversation with Rob and Angie. He dreamt of Danielle and saw her face clearly as she kissed him good morning. He could feel her warmth as she licked his lips. His mind started to stir awake.

‘Wait ... lips ... licking!’ “Brie! Yuck.”

That was not Danielle’s sweet breath. Just then his 6:00 AM alarm went off.

“How do you always manage to wake me ten seconds before the alarm? Do you tell time, too?” Brie wagged and playfully barked expecting her morning walk.

It was drizzling rain as Doug and Brie took their walk, but Doug liked this kind of day. The rain gave a unique, fresh smell to everything. “What was that song, Brie? ‘Rainy Days and Mondays?’ The rain is okay, let’s hope Monday goes well. But I can’t wait for Wednesday, Sweetie.” Brie wagged and accepted her human’s attention.

Doug wanted Wednesday to get here fast so he could see Danielle. He wanted that more than he wanted anything else and it was making him as jumpy as if he drank a gallon of coffee and washed it down with a case of Jolt Cola. If she even remotely liked him the way Angie and Rob said, he had to ask her out sometime. He kept fighting the fear that they both were coming from difficult situations, and it was too early in their relationship, so he prepared himself to take it slow. Angie told him she had not dated since her husband’s death, and he didn’t want to scare her off by being too aggressive.

“Brie Brie, I think you’ll like Dani much more than mommy. Maybe I shouldn’t call Carla you’re mommy anymore ... even if she is a bitch.” Doug laughed at his little joke, but it went over Brie’s head. “I shouldn’t think like that, Sweetie. Don’t you tell anybody, okay?” He scratched under his best friend’s chin and accepted her kisses. “Okay, Sweetie, let’s get you home and let Daddy get to work.”

After dropping off his best friend, showering, and dressing, Doug drove the short trip to the office. He had lots of tasks ahead, and one very personal goal to achieve. As he entered the building, Doug stopped to see Zane and asked him to come and find him to talk for a minute when he had a break.

The assembly area took a break at 9:30, and Zane wandered into Doug’s office.

“Doug, you wanted something?”

“Hi, Zane. Can we take a walk outside to the picnic area and talk for a minute?”

As they walked and exchanged some work-related chit chat, Doug considered how he would approach this subject. They went into the gazebo and, thanks to the rain, they found themselves alone to talk.

“Zane, I learned some things this weekend that surprised me, and I find myself having trouble blaming you for the whole Carla thing. But what I learned could impact your relationship with Carla too, so I wanted to be sure you were aware of the things I was in the dark about.”

“Like what?”

“Has she shared her fantasies with you?”

“You mean, like being with multiple guys at the same time and stuff?”

“So, you know.”

“Yeah. When we first talked, that’s the stuff she brought up. She said you’d never agree to do anything like that.”

“Well, she was right about that. Has she—have you guys—you know, done that already?”

“Doug, you’re a good guy. Do you really want to know?”

“No, not really. And I guess I have my answer.”

“I told you before, I really hate that you’ve been the guy hurt by all this. But she wants to live in a way that’s okay by me, and I don’t think you’d ever be good with it. I think you may even agree that you two were mismatched. Maybe someday you’ll see I probably did you a favor.”

“Zane, I hate to admit it, but I’ve sort of come to that same conclusion. I have to ask, though. What about your wife, Tina? Didn’t she go for this stuff?”

“What I learned about Tina was a little different than what you found out about Carla. Our sex life was getting stale. I mean, she’d let me do anything I wanted but she’d just lay there. She finally told me she didn’t like sex with men at all. She’s living with her girlfriend now.”

Doug started to feel overwhelmed by too much information that he wasn’t comfortable knowing.

“Oh. I see. So, when are you and Carla getting married?”

“I have a two-week vacation coming up in June. We’re headed to Vegas to do it.”

“Zane, I don’t like all that’s happened, and I think you’re right that Carla and I weren’t right for each other. You may not believe me, but I’m sincere when I say I hope you both find happiness.”

Doug returned to his office with a sense of relief. Over the past few days after Angie’s revelation, he admitted to himself that maybe he was glad Carla left him. He still cared about her, but he knew he was ill-equipped to deal with the things she wanted and the way she wanted to live. He also felt a sense of sorrow on many levels. His strongest fear was that Carla would eventually find her life would be very empty and lonely. He hoped he was wrong.

Wednesday morning that week, John walked in and closed the door exactly like he did the previous week.

“Good morning, Doug.”

“Two Wednesdays in a row? Are you firing me today?”

John chuckled. “No, I’m still stuck with you. But you’re not going to like the subject.”

“Oh-oh. Can’t you come in with some good news for a change? What’s up?”

“Tammy’s out again today without calling in. Cindi is trying to text her now to see what’s going on.”

Tammy was the equipment buyer on Doug’s team. At one time she was a model employee until she started dating some guy she met at one of her many bar room hangouts. With long, dirty blonde hair and a beautiful figure, she had the potential to be a stunningly beautiful woman, but she lived hard and it was showing. Her hazel eyes could be captivating, but somehow they seemed dark as if the light inside her was tragically dimmed.

This current boyfriend was beating her. Doug was aware that Tammy’s father did the same during her entire childhood. Doug had evil thoughts of what he’d like to do to guys that beat women, and especially those that abused kids.

Cindi was the closest thing to a friend with Tammy and kept Doug apprised of her situation. Last week Doug noticed that Tammy was working standing up. He asked Cindi about it, and she informed him that the boyfriend had kicked her so hard in the crotch that she was badly bruised. The pain was so intense that she couldn’t bear to sit.

Over the past six months, Doug and Cindi tried to help her as much as possible. They knew she had problems using cocaine in the past and they had suspicions the new boyfriend introduced her to harder drugs. John gave Doug permission to offer her company-sponsored detox and counseling, but she responded with anger rather than take advantage of their offer and their concern. She’d been given numerous warnings about the slippage in her performance with the understanding she was on her last chance before being dismissed. Doug knew what he had to do. He hated it, but it had to be done to protect the company and his team.

Cindi came into Doug’s office a half-hour later. “Doug, Tammy will be here in an hour. She’s not feeling well, but she’ll come in.”

“Have her come to my office when she gets here, would you Cindi?”

“This is it for her, isn’t it?”

“You know I can’t respond to that, Cindi.”

“She breaks my heart. I don’t know how to help her or reach her.”

“I know. We’ve both tried.”

Doug paced his office. He felt sick to his stomach knowing what he had to do. Supervising people is one of the things he enjoyed about his job, but days like this really sucked.

Tammy walked in and was limping noticeably. Her face was bruised, and she had a black eye. It was clear her nose and upper lip had been bleeding.

“Tammy, are you okay? You look like you should go to the hospital.”

“Whatta you care! You’re gonna fire me, aren’t ya?” She looked angry and defeated as tears streamed down her swollen cheeks.

“Do you think I should?”

“I fu ... screwed up again and you said I’d be fired.” Even in her current state, she remembered Doug’s feelings about profanity and did her best to control it.

“I don’t want to. Is there any good reason for this morning?” Doug wanted to find any way possible to get out of letting her go and he would do all he could to help her if she would let him.

“No. I overslept.”

“You’re obviously injured. Let me take you for medical attention and that would certainly give just cause for your being out this morning.”

“No. I’m fine.”

Doug tried to understand the look on her face. It was something between anger and fear. But she had backed him into a corner, and it left him very few options.

“Dang, Tammy. Despite what you say, I do care and others here do too. You’re smart and were a good employee until recent months. It’s not my job as your boss to get involved in your personal life unless it impacts your job, but you know it has. As a friend, you have to know that I fear for you and where you seem to be headed and we want to help. Our offer to cover detox and counseling still stands. Take us up on it and you’ll only be on leave. I don’t want to have to let you go—let us help you!”

He could see Tammy boiling and ready to explode. Then she did.

“I DON’T NEED YOUR FU ... DAMN HELP!”

Doug sat back and looked at her. In his mind, he debated his dilemma. “This beautiful woman is destroying herself. There’s gotta be some way to avoid this. Maybe tough love is what she needs, but damn, everything in her life is tough. I’ve gotta do the right thing for the company, but why can’t I find the right thing to do for her?” A tear escaped from him as he witnessed her pain and was overcome with the tragedy of her situation, but his responsibilities to the company gave him no choice.

“If you change your mind, get in touch with me or Cindi. But—I have to let you go Tammy.” He choked on the words. “Even though you’re not working here after today, the detox and counseling offer is still available to you. Please, please ... take us up on the offer. Cindi will help you get your things. If you need anything or any kind of help, please call me. If you can get things turned around, I’ll find a place here for you.”

After Tammy left, Doug couldn’t contain himself. He went into the office restroom and broke down. Whatever Tammy was going through was so foreign to him. “I don’t understand it, “ he thought. “What would motivate her to self-destruct like this? Sure her childhood was rough but I want to help and she fights it.” The heartbreak he felt had to pale in comparison to her own, but how do you pull someone up who refused any assistance? He felt helpless and defeated.

Doug spent the rest of the day depressed. Just as he was feeling better about Carla’s decision, he had to do one of the worse things someone could do to another. Taking away someone’s income wasn’t something he took lightly. And his fears for Tammy made it a hundred times worse. His mind worked in overtime. “You’re supposed to help people in this world, but how could you if they wouldn’t let you?”

Doug needed to get his attitude fixed before rehearsal tonight. Nobody responds well to a sulking group leader.

He did his best. Rehearsal went fairly well even though the normal joking and high energy never surfaced. At the end of rehearsal, Doug just stayed at the piano and mindlessly played to avoid conversation, and it always made him feel better to have his fingers on the keys making music.

Doug thought he was alone until he felt someone sit beside him on the bench.

“Hey, Doug. Do you feel like talking about what’s wrong?”

“Dani! You scared me. I thought everyone left.”

“They did. It’s just us. What’s going on?”

“What makes you think something’s wrong?”

“You’re playing beautiful, mindless music. I do the same thing when I’m depressed. And you do realize you’re pretty transparent, don’t you?”

“What do you mean?”

“For a fun-loving, upbeat, energetic guy, that was a pretty low-key rehearsal.”

“Oh. It showed, huh?”

“Yeah. And I bet, with something bothering you—you also skipped dinner—didn’t you?”

“Now how’d you know that?”

“Because I do that too. And since I haven’t eaten, come on. I’m buying you dinner at the Old Tavern. We can share a big plate of nachos and you can tell me what’s going on. I promise I’m a good listener.”

“Geez, Dani. That’s really nice—but you don’t...”

“No, you don’t have a choice. I grabbed your car keys from the front pew where you left them. You don’t get them back until dinner is done.”

“Are you always this bossy with your friends?” Doug couldn’t help but laugh.

“When they need me to be. Let’s go. I’ll drive and drop you back here afterward.”

After a drive of about a mile, Dani pulled in to the lot and they went inside and found a quiet, small round high-table in the bar. Dani took charge when the waiter approached.

“Hi, there. Can you bring a big plate of loaded nachos, and I’ll have a Kahlua and Cream. Doug, what do you want to drink?”

“How about a Mojito?”

The waiter left as Dani also took charge of the conversation.

“Mojito, huh? Did you know that was Hemmingway’s favorite drink?”

“Now, Dani. How would you know that?”

Dani chuckled. “My dad is a real nut, and he loves trivia. He keeps forcing useless knowledge on me and I can feel my brain cells empty out important facts to make room.”

“And what about the Kahlua and Cream?”

“Dad called that an alcoholic’s milkshake. I’m not much of a drinker, I’m afraid.”

“Don’t be afraid. Be proud.”

“Alright. I’ve left you off the hook long enough. What’s put you in a funk?”

Doug shared the story of Tammy. His transparent emotions showed through, and occasionally tears leaked down his cheeks. Doug’s hands were folded in front of him on the table. With the first teardrop, Dani reached over and put her hands over his. He noticed his mood improve before he realized why. Her touch was comforting, but also energizing.

The arrival of the nacho’s interrupted their contact and it made Doug suddenly feel empty. He sensed Dani was reluctant to let go of him. Was it only sympathy, or something more? He wasn’t sure. She nodded “thanks” to the waiter, looked at him and held both hands out for him to hold.

“Doug, can I pray for the food, and for you and Tammy?”

He took each of her hands in his, and she offered a short, but heartfelt prayer. He wanted to concentrate on her prayer to join her in spirit, but he was overwhelmed with one thought. “This felt so natural.”

As her prayer ended, Doug reached for a nacho as Dani sipped her drink. She was silent the whole time he shared about Tammy. Dani truly was a great listener.

They chatted as they devoured the plate of nachos. Dani drew him out with friendly, probing questions and he could feel his mood vastly improve as they talked.

“Doug, I wish you knew how special you are.”

Doug blushed a little “What do you mean?”

“In a lot of ways, I find you to be rather impressive.”

“You don’t know me that well yet, and you’re really making me blush.”

“Then let’s only talk about tonight. The way you care about Tammy and your employees just—speaks volumes. You’re not ashamed that the depth of your concern shows through tears. That—deeply touches me.” Dani’s eyes moistened as she shared her thoughts.

Doug smiled a bit sheepishly at her observations. “I guess I’m not ashamed, but it’s still embarrassing.”

“Don’t be embarrassed about being a sweet guy who cares about people. It’s also what makes so many people care about you. The members of your praise team adore you. Heck, I’ve only known you for a week and I already ... well, I think you’re pretty special.”

Dani looked directly into his eyes and he clearly saw her adoration shine back at him. She avoided the word, but her eyes betrayed her. He thirsted for the fountain of warmth she was offering in her glistening stare. Dani was remarkable. He knew he could never be deserving of such a woman, but could he be just acceptable enough to have a chance with her?

Doug’s drifting thoughts took his attention from the moment. As he scooped the last nacho, he dropped its contents on the way to his mouth and it landed directly in the middle of his shirt and slid down onto his lap. Smears of sour cream, guacamole, cheese, and chili painted his shirt and the crotch of his khakis. And, as if this spectacle needed a cherry on top, a single slice of jalapeño pepper capped the mess in his lap on the large crease in his pants right where Mr. Johnson hid within.

Dani couldn’t hold back. She roared so hard in laughter that tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Oh, Doug—I’m so sorry I can’t contain myself.”

Doug looked totally embarrassed, and yet the awkward moment lightened his mood even more. He found himself laughing with her.

“I’m here to entertain,” he quipped.

She grabbed his hand as if to steady them both before they ended up rolling on the floor. She tried to contain her laughter as she chortled all through her next suggestion.

“You better go try to clean that up with a little with cold water. I’ll pay the bill and get you home so you can soak those before the stain sets.”

Dani drove to the church so Doug could retrieve his car. Before Doug got out of her car, she leaned over and hugged him without concerning herself about the nacho remains. She flashed a wide grin as she bade him farewell. “Doug, I’m sorry I laughed at you when you were already having a bad night.”

“You know, as stupid as it sounds, I think that was the perfect ending for my attitude adjustment.”

“Still, I didn’t mean to laugh at you, though.”

“Why not? It was funny.”

They both snickered in post hysterical recovery.

“So, let’s see—I run you over at our first meeting—smear Mexican food all over myself the second time we get together. Keeping you amused may get dangerous or messy!”

She giggled. “But, do you feel better?”

“A lot better. Thanks for being a friend, Dani. Tonight meant a lot to me.”

“It did to me too, Doug. And, you’re welcome.”

Doug drove home and slept soundly. A weight was lifted from him, and it seemed Dani was someone who could do that for him. His thoughts of her continued to warm his mood and his heart.

“Good morning, Doug. Did you have a good night last night?”

“Hi, Cindi. It was far better than I expected, but I’m still really concerned about Tammy. Did you talk to her?”

“No. I tried, but she told me to ‘F’ off. I’ll keep trying. Look, I know you took it hard having to let her go, Doug. You’re a good guy, but don’t feel bad for how it had to go down.”

“That’s easier said than done, Cin. I’m really afraid for her.”

“I know. Me too. And that boyfriend is a nasty piece of work. I wish there was a way to get her away from him.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. Hey, just so you know, since you’re more likely to get through to her than I am, the company will still sponsor her for the help we offered. And if she gets clean, I’ll find a way to bring her back.”

“Does she know that?”

“Yeah. But it won’t hurt to keep reminding her. She can’t get out of her own way right now.”

Doug returned to his office and decided to call Tammy. His call went right to voice mail, so he left a brief message to let her know he was just checking on her.

Doug sat back in his chair and pondered two drastically different women. He’d continue to check on Tammy, or at least as much as she’d let him. His focus was shifting more to the other woman who invaded his thoughts.

He had only known Dani for a week, but last night it was if they were lifelong friends. Did she know how much her insistence to take him to dinner meant to him? Did she know she immeasurably helped his state of mind? He could feel his guilt about Tammy starting to fade into an appropriate perspective. He will always be concerned and want to help her, but Dani seemed to make him better, and now thoughts of her filled the spaces in his consciousness.