Chapter 10

To avoid more unacceptable behavior, Bob did start teaching Julie about the equipment used to maintain the yard. Usually, only Bobby and Bob used it, but Julie’s relationship with her father had changed fundamentally, and now she just liked spending time with him. So learning how to put new line in the string trimmer, and the process for starting it was interesting to her. She learned why there were two different gas cans in the shed, and how to tell the difference between pure gas and gas mixed with two cycle oil. That led them to the lawnmower, where Julie learned how to check the oil and clean the air filter. Pulling the starting cord was harder for her, because she only weighed a hundred and twelve pounds, but she finally got the knack of it and the mower roared to life.

She found the process of pushing the mower slowly through the tall, ragged grass, and producing a short, smooth carpet of green to be much more satisfying than she expected.

For Julie, this process only took a small part of her attention, and she had plenty of opportunity to think about her new status. What amazed her the most wasn’t what had happened to her over the last few days. In many ways her whole life had changed. Her brother and sister seemed like entirely new people. Even her father was a different man than she’d known all her life. And she wasn’t a virgin anymore. After only one more summer vacation from school she’d be a high school graduate and could go anywhere and do anything she wanted to.

But it wasn’t all those changes in her life that blew her away. No. What flabbergasted her was that she felt completely normal. In many ways, nothing seemed to have changed at all. People she saw driving by waved just like they always did. Nobody stared at her. In most ways, her siblings seemed just like they had always seemed. It was the same with Daddy. He still worked and slept and ate. Her body didn’t even feel any different. She’d had a penis in her ... well ... at least part of a penis in her. She for sure had been shot full of sperm. And yet nothing felt any different. Her body felt exactly like it had any other day of her life.

She’d thought losing her virginity would change everything.

But it hadn’t really changed anything!

She looked up and her ranging eyes found her father, who was watching her pace back and forth in the yard.

He looked exactly the same as he’d always looked.

Suddenly the mower sputtered and died. She took off the ear muffs Bob had given her. It was very quiet.

“You ran out of gas,” said Bob, walking up to her.

“Oh,” she said. She looked down at her tank top, which looked as if she’d been running. “I’m all sweaty again!” she said, sounding surprised.

“You’ve been pushing a mower around in the sun,” said Bob. His eyes ranged over her tank top. She was, in fact, wearing a bra. It didn’t matter.

“I love it when you look at me like that,” she said, softly.

“I’m supposed to be teaching you things, not fantasizing about you,” he said.

“You can do both.”

“Not well,” he argued. “You have two choices. You can take the mower to the gas, or bring the gas to the mower.”

“I think we should take a break,” she said.

“That’s reasonable,” said Bob. “It’s almost time for lunch. We can eat lunch and finish later.”

It didn’t occur to him to ask what she meant by “break”.

They went to the kitchen and Julie poured them both glasses of pink lemonade and set them on the table. Bob had gotten out the bread and was looking in the fridge.

“Wait a minute,” said Julie. “Sit down there.” She pointed to a kitchen chair that had been pulled away from the table several feet.

“What?”

“Just sit,” she ordered.

He did and she straddled him, draping her arms over his shoulders. She leaned in and kissed him. His lips felt warm. He hadn’t shaved and she could feel the prickle of his stubble just beyond where her lips touched his. He returned the kiss, which was gentle in a way she wasn’t sure she’d ever been kissed. She felt her nipples crinkle. Finally she pulled her lips from his and leaned back.

“I’m all sweaty,” she said.

“I don’t care,” he replied.

She ran the fingers of one hand through his hair. She’d seen his hair all her life, but never touched it. At least she couldn’t remember touching it.

“That feels so strange,” she sighed. “But at the same time, it doesn’t.”

“I get that,” he said. “You’ve been through some significant changes. I understand if you’re confused.”

“I’m not confused, exactly. While I was mowing I was just thinking about things.”

“Let me guess,” said Bob. “It all feels like it might be a dream.”

“How’d you know?” she asked.

“Been there. Done that,” he said.

“Well how come everything feels so normal?” she asked.

His hands slid up her sides and his thumbs moved across her breast, not quite touching her nipples.

“Does that feel normal?” he asked.

She closed her eyes.

“It doesn’t feel ab-normal,” she said. She opened her eyes again. “It’s like everything should look and feel different, but nothing has changed. Except everything has changed. I know that. I can remember that!”

“Sweetheart, the only thing that’s changed is the way we express our love for each other. That love already existed. We just didn’t express it in the same ways we’ve been showing it the last few days. To the rest of the world nothing has changed at all, at least I hope that’s how they see us.”

“So sex is just an expression of love?”

“You know it’s more complicated than that,” he chided. “But if you look at the lives of the Carpenter clan, the only thing that’s changed is we’re more intimate than we were. Do you love me more than you did last week?”

“No.”

“Well, there you go,” he said.

“But shouldn’t sex mean more?”

“It can mean more. When a man and a woman use sex to create new life, that’s a big deal. You can actually change the whole world by bringing a baby into it. Think of Albert Einstein, or Bill Gates. Those guys were just little babies at one point, new life that nobody even noticed unless a diaper needed changing. But the world was irrevocably changed by their birth. And all because their parents got frisky in the bedroom and tried to make a baby.”

“That’s not what we’re doing, Daddy,” said Julie. “You weren’t trying to make another Mark Zuckerberg in the shower.”

“I wasn’t even trying to be in you in the shower,” he said. “I just lost control.”

Julie suddenly felt hot. She’d always seen her father as a strong man, able to leap tall buildings with a single bound. Not Superman, exactly, but not far from that, either. And now she was his Kryptonite. He was helpless because of her. Her stomach felt full of butterflies and she felt one more thing that was new, a profound change in her, and yet something that felt so normal that it was shocking.

She was horny ... and only one thing would satisfy her.

“I want something else before lunch,” she said.

“What?”

“I’ll have to show you,” she said.

“Show me?”

“In the bedroom,” she said.

“The bedroom?”

“I want to express my love for you,” she said, her voice soft.

Now his eyes questioned, instead of his voice.

She stood and took his hand to pull him up. As if it were the most normal think in the world, she reached and cupped his bulge.

He was erect.

“Good,” she sighed, squeezing it gently.

Julie couldn’t believe she was thinking about her sister. But she was, and it was because she was trying not to go crazy. She was afraid she might fly apart at any second. Surely nobody could survive what she was feeling at this second. Except Barbie had ... many times, in fact.

Her pussy was full. That little four letter word wasn’t anywhere near good enough to represent how she felt, but it was the only word she could think of. She had to express it out loud.

“So fuuuuull,” she groaned.

“You want me to take it out?” came her daddy’s deep voice.

“Don’t you dare!” she gasped. Her legs, which up to this point had been beyond her voluntary control, snapped across his bottom and her hips finally found the ability to move as well, as they thrust her pussy up at what was making her feel so filled.

Her daddy’s penis was in her ... all the way in her ... and her mind almost couldn’t cope with the processing of all the information that was flooding it. She kept trying to think of everything at once. She felt like a fool for waiting. How could she have possibly thought that saving her virginity was a good thing, when sex felt like this? On the other hand, the fact that her daddy was the first was so precious that she almost cried at the thought that by accident, design or just hormones, she might have wasted it on somebody else. It seemed that age and experience kept making her “finally understand” things. She’d learned the word “epiphany” in the eighth grade and thought it was stupid to have to remember how to spell it. Then she had one, one day and it was like finally using math to actually do something in life. She’d kept having them until she had one in which she finally understood how little she knew about life, and how much there was to look forward to as the world served her up education and knowledge.