Chapter 24: Code of Conduct

9th grade: June 8th - June 13th, 1986

Sunday afternoon, I said a tearful goodbye to everyone before leaving for the airport with only the twins going with me. Hanging around my neck was my mother’s quarter, Suzi’s heart necklace she had worn to school, and Joey’s new necklace with my coin.

When Joey insisted I take it, I said, “No, Joey. You keep it.”

Joey shook his head and said, “You’re going to need it more than me. I have Suz. You won’t have anybody. Just don’t let them take it away from you.”

I had left a little earlier than usual, but everyone had to get back to Oakley, and I couldn’t stand the thought of saying goodbye to people in two groups.

I bawled in the limo on the way to the airport. The twins were the only ones to come with me as they insisted on flying with me. I tried to talk them out of it, but they were not taking no for an answer.

To be honest, I was grateful they were with me. I cuddled with them almost the entire flight feeling their empathic caresses while they tried to tell me things in their empathic way.

Two hours later, I was on the ground and waiting for one of the helicopters to come to pick us up. I had no idea where they housed the crafts. They certainly weren’t kept on the island, but they must have been close to there, for it took nearly half an hour for one to show up.

I had to sit up in front with the pilot since there were only three seats for passengers. The twins were a little nervous about flying in the helicopter, and I realized it was because of all the noise.

I used the headset to talk to them to help ease the stress. I pointed out all the things I had found interesting on the first fight out with my mom and told them about the island as we approached it.

To my surprise - and dread - the headmistress and Winston came out of the south building as we came in to land. There were a lot of students outside playing some sort of game I didn’t recognize. I would later find out it was a form of telepathic Marco Polo.

The pilot said, “Looks like you have a welcoming party.”

“Yeah. More like a grounding party.”

He set the helicopter down on the pad then revved the engine down before saying, “Why? Did you do something worth getting grounded for?”

“I hope not.”

I turned to the twins and said, “We have to say goodbye now. You can’t get...”

The twins opened their doors and hopped out.

I finished, “ ... out.”

The pilot and I exchanged looks before I opened my door and jumped out too. I had explained they couldn’t get out to see the school, but I realized they had never agreed to that.

As I came around to where they had met up, I yelled over the helicopter’s noise, “Girls, I told you weren’t allowed to get out. You’re going to get me into trouble.”

On cue, I heard Headmistress Fellows voice shout, “Timothy? What’s the meaning of this!”

I groaned, “Now you’ve done it!”

The twins refused to get back in. Headmistress Fellows motioned us over, so with a sinking feeling in my stomach, I headed in her and Wilson’s direction, the twins forming up on either side of me and staying a step behind.

As I approached, I said, “I’m sorry, Ma’am. I didn’t know they’d do this.”

Headmistress Fellows said, “Ladies, for your own safety, you must leave immediately.”

We drew to a halt and the twins just blinked at her.

Headmistress Fellows said, “Well? Can’t you speak?”

“Actually, no, they can’t. They can understand you, but they’re...”

Wilson stiffened and said, “They’re Gladius twins, headmistress.”

Headmistress Fellows sighed, “Of course they are. I forgot Charles had a pair.”

I said, “Gladius twins? What does that mean?”

Wilson and the headmistress glanced at each other before Wilson said, “It doesn’t matter.”

Wilson then addressed the twins, “What is it that you want? You might be immune to the spark, but it is still not safe for you to stay here.”

I sensed the twins were trying to express themselves to the headmistress, but after a minute, Headmistress Fellows said, “Wilson call Magnus out here. He should be able to understand them.”

Headmistress Fellows then motioned to the pilot to take off.

I turned to the twins and asked, “What are you doing?”

They sent me a feeling of patience, which only frustrated me.

I said, “This isn’t helping me. You’re just going to make things worse.”

I turned to speak to the headmistress but got distracted from noticing Sabrina lingering on the edge of a crowd of students who were watching this play out.

Sabrina sent, <These are your sisters?>

<Yes, and they’re being ... stubborn.>

Turning to Headmistress Fellows, I said, “I’m sorry headmistress. I thought they just wanted to see the grounds from the air like my parents had.”

Headmistress Fellows said, “Don’t worry, Timothy. I know all too well how frustrating these girls can be.” She then said to the twins, “Let’s take this to my office, where I will make a call to your master.”

I corrected her, “Father.”

Headmistress Fellows looked at me and said, “Don’t take offense to this Timothy, but you know nothing about who and what they are.”

I said, “I know enough to call them my sisters. Ma’am, I’d like them to meet Sabrina. Just for a moment.”

Headmistress Fellows sighed, looked sharply around until she spotted Sabrina, then stared at Sabrina a moment before saying, “You might as well introduce them to the crowd while you’re at it.”

Headmistress Fellows turned back at the twins and said, “But absolutely no sexual contact, is that clear? That is not tolerated here.”

The twins blinked at her irritated, and Headmistress Fellows got the message they were insulted for her to even suggest such a thing.

The twins stayed in their formation as we approached Sabrina. I’d seen them do that with my dad and was getting a bit of a kick out of it, but only when my stomach wasn’t jumping through hoops over the situation.

Wilson was with us every step of the way, but Headmistress Fellows strangely went to the center and sat down on one of the cement benches there.

Sabrina came forward, and with a swish of her fingers keeping her long bangs in place, she greeted the twins.

“Hello. I’m Sabrina. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

I introduced the twins by name before saying, “Sabrina is my ... uh...”

Sabrina said, “What’s the matter, lover boy? Or do you prefer Shepherd?” Then to the twins, she asked, “Is he always afraid to say what he means?”

I sighed and said, “My friend. Okay? There. I said it. Friend.”

Sabrina said, “Well, my friend here is going to have a lot more friends if he stays.” Sabrina looked up at me and said, “The Shepherd’s Gift has really made a lot of people happy. I don’t think you realize what you’ve done for everyone here.”

“What do you mean?”

Doyle said, “She means for the first time in four years, I ... we don’t feel trapped here anymore.”

Jerald said, “Speak for yourself.”

Stacy Michaels said, “Jerald, you’re just miserable no matter what.”

An old grey-haired man I hadn’t met walked over and said in a grumble, “Wilson, what’s this all about? I was making the headmistress’s tea.”

Wilson waved his hand towards the twins and said, “We can’t understand what they want.”

Magnus saw the twins, grimaced, and then asked them, “Well? What is it?”

When the twins blinked at him, Magnus said, “Don’t get sassy with me, young ladies. I’m not too old to put the pair of you over my knees. Now have at it. Why are you here?”

The twins did something I only got a fragment of and I had no idea what the complex emotions meant.

Magnus said, “Huh.”

Wilson said, “What is it, Magnus?”

“What? Oh. They can’t speak.”

I let out a huff of frustration and said, “We know that already.”

Magnus looked at me and said, “No, you don’t understand. They haven’t learned how to speak emphatically yet. Very strange. By the looks of them, they must be nearly fully grown. Are you the one they’re here to protect?”

I turned to the girls and exclaimed, “Protect?”

The twins looked back at Magnus and blinked in irritation before doing something else.

Magnus said, “Don’t try to pack so much in then. I’m not as young as I used to be. My mind doesn’t go as fast as it used to.”

Magnus turned to Wilson and said, “They’re here to warn us this boy is under their protection and guidance. His empathic ability is just starting to fully emerge and it would be unwise for him to remain around so many voices who are vulnerable to bonding to him.”

Wilson said, “Is he really a threat if he stays?”

Magnus looked at me and said, “Son, I’m going to have to test your empathic potential. This won’t hurt and it can’t harm you.”

I glanced at the twins and asked, “Okay?”

They gave me a positive response.

“Okay,” I repeated to Magnus.

Magnus stepped up to me and said, “I’ll have to touch your soul for a moment. You’ll likely feel something.”

Magnus placed his right hand over my left ear, his left hand on my forehead, closed his eyes and suddenly I felt as if I had just drunk a cup of hot cocoa on a cold winter day.

I gasped, “Wow...”

Magnus opened his eyes, smiled and said, “Yes, you’re close, alright. You should stick around these young ladies to help your full abilities to bloom.”

Wilson said, “That won’t be possible if he’s grounded.”

“He’ll have half the girls swooning from his smile in a couple of years, and I’m too old to try and show him the ropes. Now, can I go back to my tea?”

Wilson nodded then waited until Magnus was out of earshot to mumble, “Relic.”

Magnus shot back, “Whippersnapper!”

Wilson grinned a moment before he said, “I’ll inform the headmistress.”

After Wilson walked away, Sabrina said, “That’s a lucky break.”

Smiling, I said, “Yeah. Who knew my smile could make girls swoon.”

I smiled at Stacy, who rolled her eyes and said, “It’s not working.”

I frowned grumpily.

The twins sent me a questioning feeling, so I looked back at them. The twins twitched their eyes at the small group of my current and past dormmates.

I turned, thinking they wanted me to introduce them, but then I caught the group’s expressions.

I asked, “What’s wrong?”

Russell said, “We thought ... Well...”

Cameron said, “You’re our Shepherd. Whatever that means. We thought you were staying.”

I said, “Not if I can help it. You don’t need me. It was just an imaginative dream. I didn’t actually do anything but show you what was possible.”

Lisa said, “But without you, there’s nobody to make sure no one abuses it.”

Felix said, “Nobody everybody trusts.”

I rolled my eyes and said, “Nobody trusted me for over seven weeks, then after two shared dreams, you all trust me?”

Russell said, “You could have done anything to us. The entire school was at your mercy, and all you did was make our butts feel good - something that isn’t technically sexual so it doesn’t violate the rules - and then gave us the Shepherd’s Gift. Why wouldn’t we trust you after doing all that?”

I sighed and said, “I don’t belong here. My heart is back home, and I...”

I hesitated, then pulled out my coin from underneath my shirt.

As I took it out of its holder, I said, “This coin was given to me by my father on the day I met him last November.”

I paused, then offered the coin to Sabrina first, saying, “The coin emits something people with the gift like us can sense. It’s sort of like alive; only it isn’t.”

When I placed in her hand, Sabrina gasped, “It is alive!”

“Pass it around, but I warn you. I want it back, and I can sense it without seeing it.”

Sabrina passed it to Nathan, who frowned and said, “It doesn’t feel alive to me. It just makes my fingers tingle.”

I shrugged and said, “Different people feel different things. It makes my best friend Joey’s fingers tingle, too, but it makes me feel good inside.”

As the coin made its way around the group, I answered a few questions about the twins and the coin.

When someone asked about my dad, I said, “He’s given me this and fifty million dollars, including a mansion my great grandfather had built. I have a girlfriend and a best friend I’d call a boyfriend only we’re not actually gay. I have a life and people I care about back home. I don’t know anything about any of you besides Sabrina. I don’t know how you got here, if you have family, nothing. I’m sorry if I don’t have much sympathy for you, but because I don’t know any of you, I don’t care enough to want to give up my own life to be here with all of you. Can you blame me?”

The twins warned me a few seconds before Jerald tried to angerly grab the coin from Felix’s hand. Before he could, there was an empathic crack, and Jerald spun around and almost fell down. After regaining his balance, Jerald still carefully lowered himself to the ground, somewhat dazed.

I exclaimed, “Holy hand grenades!” I turned and asked the twins, “Did you do that?”

They both cocked their heads and blinked once slowly - a definite yes.

Sabrina said, “I guess they don’t need anyone to protect them from muggers.”

I laughed and said, “No, the muggers would need protection from them!”

Cameron said, “He’s one of the reasons why we can’t trust people not to abuse the dream sharing.”

I said, “Then kick his butt! You don’t need me to do it.”

Cameron said, “We can’t. Pranking someone is one thing. We can’t punish someone. That’s Wilson’s job.”

“Then go to the administration and figure something out. Just don’t let it become a problem, or they’ll rule the dream sharing against the rules.”

I stepped up to Jerald and asked, “What did you think you could do? You couldn’t keep the coin.”

Jerald growled, “I could flush it.”

“What the heck did I ever do to you?”

Jerald stood up and said, “This is our school. We rule here. I didn’t suffer through three years of this place just for you to show up and become its glorious Shepherd right before my final year!”

Cameron said, “That’s why you’ve been a suck up to me all year.”

Jerald glared at me and said, “You’ve messed everything up. All the rules have changed. And your twin protectors won’t be around to keep me from making you as miserable as the rest of us have been.”

Sabrina stepped up and said, “He won’t need them. I’m not afraid to get level 3 and I’ve taken people with me before.”

Constance and Amy, both juniors, stepped up beside Sabrina, then Felix, Nathan and Monique joined them along with Sabrina’s group of five. A few seconds later, the rest of my dormmates, past and present, did so as well, then the dozen or so other students who had remained to watch the exchange formed up.

Cameron, looking at Sabrina, said, “It looks like Crow has a new Shepherd. Someone who is brave enough to do what’s right for everyone’s benefit regardless of consequences to themselves.”

Sabrina exclaimed, “But I’m not...”

I said, “I agree. You’re not.”

When everyone looked at me in surprise, I pulled off the necklace with my mom’s quarter and said, “I have worn this from the day I arrived here. This quarter was given to me by my mother who carried it with her since I was an infant. She said it was minted not long after I was, and it reminds her of how carrying me and raising me was the only thing that got her through the hardest part of her life. But it’s not about me, but about the struggle she had to go through resisting all the temptations around her. This quarter is worth twenty-five cents to the rest of the world. But here, at Crow, it represents bravery. And only the bravest among us should wear it and be called Shepherd.”

I stepped up to Sabrina and said, “Sabrina, my friend, I have seen you come out of the headmistress’s office covered with sweat with your head held high. While I have never faced a level 3, I’ve had to face my own fears in other ways. From what I’ve seen, everyone here respects either your bravery or insanity. Either way, they’ll listen to you.”

I put the necklace over her head and said, “I, self-proclaimed Shepherd of the Crow Academy, by the consent of the majority of students here, hereby anoint you, Sabrina Winters, co-Shepherd. Let there always be two and always of different grade and sex, ideally an upper and lower classmen. Let them be the conscience and the protectors, but not the rulers, of all who go here.”

Sabrina, shocked by this, looked around and found the others grinning or nodding, then when her eyes fell on Felix, he said, “Shepherd.”

The rest of the crowd echoed him, making Sabrina tear up, then turn towards me and said, “I am going to make you pay for this!”

I laughed and said, “Madam Shepherd, I’m but your humble partner.”

Jerald spat, “We’ll see about this.”

And he stormed away.

Thomas Driessen, one of Sabrina’s group, held my coin out and said, “Shepherd, your coin.”

I took it and thanked him, but then said, “Let’s not make calling us Shepherd an everyday thing, okay? We’re not royalty. We’re just ... custodians of your trust.”

Sabrina said, “We should only be called Shepherd when it’s a matter that needs a Shepherd’s attention.”

I nodded and said, “Otherwise, we’re just Tim and Sabrina, the same a-holes we’ve always been.”

Russell said, “Then long live the Shepherds, the biggest a-holes in town.”

Wilson said from behind the crowd, “Just as long as you don’t forget who really is the biggest a-hole in town. Tim, the headmistress would like you and your sisters to join us in her office now.”

After everyone told me good luck, the twins and I followed Wilson to the south building. I didn’t know how to feel. My world had gone and made a sharp turn again right underneath me. I had never expected being accepted by the other students like that. If I left now, would Sabrina be able to keep order by herself? I had no idea who else could be a Shepherd. But then I realized I didn’t have to. The students would pick that person, not me. I just hoped it didn’t turn out to be some sort of popularity contest like running for class president tended to be.

As we entered the administration office, I realized I was oddly at ease for the first time all day. This was my moment of truth, yet I wasn’t afraid of what the outcome would be. I didn’t want to stay, but I didn’t see staying to be the miserable existence I originally thought it to be.

Just outside the Headmistress Fellows’ office, Wilson said, “Wait here a moment,” and entered the office and closed the door. I had caught a glimpse of Mr. Perry and Magnus inside before the door closed.

I turned to my sisters and said, “Thank you. I don’t know what will happen, but if I end up stuck here for three years, I want you to know how much this meant to me.”

We were still in a three-way hug when the door opened and Wilson led the other two out. As Mr. Perry passed, he said, “Good luck, son. We’ve done all we can.”

I thanked them, then took a deep breath and entered the headmistress’s office.

Headmistress Fellows directed us to the three chairs in front of her desk with a wave of her hand as we entered, then she closed the door and sat down at her desk.

Headmistress Fellows said, “Well, it sounds like you certainly have shaken things up around here. I’m not certain how well this Shepherd concept will work, but for now, I’m willing to let it play out. This dream sharing you’ve introduced was banned a few times before due to abuse. But as time passes, I’ve quietly removed it from the list as there are usually a few people who do it unintentionally every term. I don’t like disciplining people when there’s no intent to misbehave, but at the same time, I must maintain order.”

She paused, leaned forward with her hands clasped together in front of her and asked, “Did you find what you were searching for when you came here?”

I blinked at her question, then frowned a moment to consider it.

After feeling myself out, I shrugged and said, “I suppose so. I didn’t really know what I was looking for until I came here and couldn’t find it. I didn’t know what it was until I went back home and could see my friends again.”

“From what Wilson said, you may have a good number of friends here now. Timothy, I won’t lie to you. I think this is the best place for you. You’ve already shown a great deal of potential here, and I’m not just talking about your abilities or your grades. I see one maybe two true leaders a decade come through here. I think you will be one of them.”

I felt like I had just tasted something bitter and my face obviously showed it.

Headmistress Fellows chuckled and said, “Oh, come now. It’s not that bad. I’m not talking about running for office. I’m speaking in terms of character leadership.”

I looked at Headmistress Fellows in the eyes and said, “But I have enough trouble keeping myself from doing ... stupid things as Suzi would call it. Sometimes I don’t even know I’m already doing them until she points it out to me. That’s why I need my friends back home. Ma’am, I can’t learn to resist the temptations if the temptations aren’t around me. And my strength of character is dependent on my friends keeping me from letting those temptations overwhelm me. They are my strength, ma’am. If I lose them, I won’t be any better than anyone else here.”

The twins sent me a feeling that, for once, I understood.

“And my sisters just reminded me that my empathic abilities are just now emerging. Mr ... uh, Magnus said something about the others being vulnerable to them. If it’s anything like what I already have with my friends at home, they’ll be miserable. And I’m still not finished cleaning up the mess at home from when my telepathic ability emerged.”

Headmistress Fellows said, “Timothy, you don’t have to give up your friends at home to attend Crow. You can continue to go home over the weekends. Nearly all of the students here would have the option if they could resist using their abilities in ways that violate our code of conduct. That is why they are trapped here.”

I said, “And that code of conduct is written down? Because if it is, I haven’t seen it.”

“No, it isn’t. You are expected to already know it as it is common sense.”

“This is a school of learning, yet you just expect the students know what you define as common sense?”

“Timothy, I’m not going to debate my practices. They have served me well in the time I’ve been its headmistress. Only six percent of the students who leave here become so unstable that they must be dealt with by others. That’s as low as anyone has ever achieved here.”

I shrugged and said, “But I could violate that code without knowing it, and then what? I’m grounded from that point on?”

“Nip it in the bud before it is allowed to germinate.”

I sat back and said, “So is that it? I don’t have a choice?”

She glanced at the twins before sitting back and saying, “I would much rather have you volunteer to attend the next term.”

I stared at her. She was unreadable to my empathic sense.

I glanced at my sisters, which made Headmistress Fellows say, “They can’t sense what I’m feeling any more than you can, Timothy. I wouldn’t be the headmistress if I couldn’t keep my business to myself.”

I asked, “If I don’t volunteer, then what?”

“Then I will have to make a ruling based on what I know to be true. I believe your best interest is for you to attend here.”

“So either way, I have to return for next term.”

“I haven’t made my ruling yet, but I will have to before lights out tonight. Those are my rules, Timothy. I don’t break my rules. My rules also state that if you volunteer, I don’t have to make that decision until the end of the next term. If you volunteer each time, the decision remains yours. If I believe your best interests no longer require your attendance here, I will tell you so.”

I said, “But if I don’t volunteer, I’ll be here for the next three years.”

“I haven’t made my ruling yet.”

“Have you ever decided someone’s best interests weren’t attending here?”

“Yes, of course, I have. Just last term a junior left with my complete support.”

I found myself fingering Suzi’s heart necklace and my coin through my shirt. If I was able to go home over the weekends, it wouldn’t be that bad, but how long would it be before the power-lust pushed me to do something that violated the code of conduct? I felt that was just a time bomb waiting to go off.

I pulled my necklaces out to look at them, seeking their support in helping me make this decision. I didn’t know what decision there was to make, seeing how I was effectively trapped into going there no matter what.

No, that wasn’t true. The decision wasn’t about that. It was whether I could stand leaving each weekend, not knowing if I’d be back. I’d already said my goodbyes. Maybe it would be best if I broke it clean off now.

I took a deep breath, then with tears in my eyes, I said, “Headmistress Fellows, I will not volunteer. If you force me to attend, so be it. But I will never forgive you for the harm that would do to the people I love, so don’t ever think I’ll be grateful like those who returned to teach here.”

Headmistress Fellows sighed and said, “I’m sorry. I must insist...”

I had just put my necklaces on, and when she stopped speaking, I looked up to find her frowning at my coin dangling on my chest.

Headmistress Fellows asked, “What is it you have there?”

“It’s a family heirloom my father gave me when we first met.”

“May I see it?”

“Uh ... Okay.”

I pulled the coin out of its holder and handed it to her.

I watched her as she held it in her fingers of her right hand, her thumb gently stroking the coin’s surface.

After doing that several times, she looked up at me and asked, “Why did you bring this here? You didn’t have it before.”

“I didn’t want anyone taking it. I’m probably going to send it back with my sisters as I can’t take the chance of someone grabbing and flushing it down a toilet or something.”

“Flushing it! Timothy, these coins are very rare. Especially ones with...”

She frowned at it, then looked up at me with a touch of surprise and asked, “What does it feel like to you?”

“Feel like?”

“You feel something when you hold it, don’t you? What is it? What is the sensation?”

“Uh ... it comforts me. Makes me feel like ... Well, like how my mom would rub my chest after I had a nightmare.”

Headmistress Fellows looked down at the coin, frowning, and said, “I see...”

After over a minute of watching her continue to frown at the coin while gently rubbing it with her thumb, she finally looked up and said, “I’ll hold on to it for you for the time being. You may have it back after dinner when we finish this discussion. Your sisters need to leave when the next helicopter arrives with students. You’re dismissed.”

“But am I...”

“I said you’re dismissed.”

I left her office, confused.

I hesitated outside Wilson’s office a moment but decided instead to give the twins a quick tour. I estimated I only had thirty or forty minutes before the next helicopter arrived to drop off students.

I was intercepted by Sabrina and a few others when I left the south building.

Just as a side note, the buildings had names and weren’t called south, east, west and north. They were named after people, but that doesn’t help describe them at all.

Sabrina asked, “So? Are you grounded?”

I said, “I don’t know. She wanted me to volunteer to stay. I said no.”

Russell exclaimed, “What? Are you nuts? She’ll ground you for sure, and then you can’t leave.”

I said, “I made my decision. Besides, if you all can’t leave, why should I?”

Russell said, “Tim, you don’t need to do it on our account.”

I said, “I’m not. I’ve already said goodbye to everyone. I don’t want to have to go through that every weekend, and I’m not going to live in fear of breaking a rule I don’t know exists. If she traps me here, let it be on her conscience.”

Sabrina said, “Tim, she doesn’t have a conscience. She just has her rules that she follows.”

I said, “I’m supposed to go see her after dinner. She has my coin. She seems fascinated by it for some reason. She’s not telepathic, is she?”

Everyone looked at Russell as he was the only senior in the group.

Russell said, “Not that I’ve ever heard. Any time she needs to have someone called to her, she usually asks someone else to do it.”

I pondered aloud, “Then why would she hold the coin like she felt something from it?”

Sabrina said, “She once told me some voices are so bad that they have their voices silenced. Maybe that’s what happened to her.”

I said, “And that’s why she works here now? Serving her own penance?”

Russell said, “I always thought she might have been made to do it. The way she always follows the rules reminds me of some people my dad has. Like human robots.”