Chapter 5

The day after my disastrous arraignment, I was escorted to an interview room. Steve was inside, waiting for me. After my cuffs were removed, the CO left us alone.

“Ok, Matt, I was able to get together with the judge about your bail. He has agreed to a $50,000.00 cash or bond and home monitoring. He said that seeing as how you are retired and have Suzy. There is no reason for you not to have house arrest.”

I was a bit confused. I had heard the term house arrest before. But it was usually in connection with some politician or mobster being confined at home with armed guards. But home monitoring was something new. So, I asked about that.

“Well Matt, basically what they do is put an ankle bracelet on you. That bracelet sends a message out to the monitoring station that tracks where you are. Plus, if you cut the bracelet or go outside of the authorized area, it sends an alarm.”

“How does it do that?

“Well, I guess it sends a signal through the cell phone system. But I’d be willing to bet the feds have some kind of satellite GPS tracking system.”

“Steve, I don’t have a cell phone. I never had one.”

“Really? Never?”

“Nope”

“Well, that’s alright. It uses its own cell number.”

“Steve, I don’t think you quite understand. I have no cell phone because there is no reception where I live. I live up in the hills. Way up in the hills. No cell phone, no internet, no tv. No electricity. Well, that’s not quite right. I do have a generator and a radio. I had some problems a while back, and Suzy insisted we get something. So, if needs be, I can call the Sheriff in Elk City or the forestry folks. But that’s about it.”

“Really? You’re not yanking my chain here? No internet? How about e-mail? Social media? How do you keep in touch with the world?”

“why? What is going on that is so important? I’ll tell you what is important to me. First and foremost is Suzy, followed by my animals. I have a responsibility to them. Their safety, security, comfort are my responsibility. If we had kids, they would be on that list. Then there are my friends and relatives. If one of my old army buddies told me he needed help, I’d move heaven and earth to see that he, or she got that help, up to the point of Suzy being deprived or put in danger.”

“My life is on that mountain. It isn’t in some made-up electronic world. It also isn’t in some faraway place. Remember, I’ve been there, done that and got the bullet holes to prove it.”

“I guess you have a point, Matt. But what about food and water, entertainment, community, what about the government? the president, congress aren’t those important?”

“Steve, we’ve had over 45 presidents, I don’t even want to try and guess how many congressmen and senators. Let alone the number of politicians down to dog catcher across this country. I can tell you one thing that each one of them has in common. None of them have destroyed the country. They may have messed things up now and then. They may even, rarely, have done the right thing. But that is the beauty of the system. I once heard the definition of a committee, an organism with four or more arms and legs, two or more heads, and zero brains. I would rather have Washington DC locked in gridlock, arguing the shape of the table than a resounding consensus. The first words of the Hippocratic oath that doctors take, “First do no harm.” I would like to see paraphrased over the congress and senate, “First do nothing.”

I looked at Steve and could tell that I had gored a sacred cow. “I’ll tell you what Steve, let’s forget this bail thing. I want to try something here. You go ahead and continue with your job, I have full confidence in your abilities, and I’ll tell you right now, you have my permission for whatever you think needs to be done.”

“Ok, Matt, if you say so. I guess the first thing I’ll need to do is my usual research. Some of that is easy. Randy Clausen, for example. Randy is a politician. All DA’s are politicians, looking for an elected position. That makes them easy to predict. The only thing we need to worry about is if he gets froggy and tries to pull a rabbit out of the hat. I doubt if he will pull anything, he’s got a boy scout reputation.”

“Next is Nigel St. Gaudens, the victim in this little drama. I don’t have much information about St. Gaudens. But I’ve got several excellent investigators working for me. They shouldn’t have too much trouble figuring him out. I’ll have more information at our next meeting. Now he’s claiming that you struck him, in the head, without provocation. He further claims that that blow caused grievous harm, in that he was unconscious for an extended amount of time. He is ready to produce medical professionals to verify those claims.”

“Based on those claims, Randy, as the Idaho county DA, has preferred charges against you for assault and battery, causing bodily harm. damage to public property, and obstruction of justice.”

“Now, the first two charges are the only ones we need to worry about. Damage to public property, did you really pee all over the interview table?”

Grinning, I explained, “Yep, shore did. Steve, I have been trained in interrogation methods by the best of several countries. Including being waterboarded. One of the techniques is causing the interviewee to lose bladder control. This is a humiliation tactic. I saw it for what it was. I also know that the way to short circuit that tactic is to turn it around. So, I peed on the table. That embarrassed them and prevented them from using that table. The basic flaw to that response is you might get the shit kicked out of you. But this is America, not likely to happen. And if it did, there would be evidence. Evidence you could end up using in court.”

“And finally, that obstruction charge is bull on its face. Randy knew that as soon as I asked for a lawyer, all interviews had to end. He tried to bs me into giving up my privacy rights by answering questions. The obstructing charge is nothing more than payback. He’ll drop it on the first challenge.”

Steve sat for a moment, thinking. “You know Matt, I’m almost at the point of saying, why do you need me. I know better, you seem to be on top of what’s going on. I had my doubts at first, but you’re not stupid. So, we’ll forget about getting you out on bail. “He paused, and I nodded. “And I’ll continue with your case. Just to let you know, an evidence review and motions are coming up. You can be there if you want, or you can waive that.” Steve paused and looked at me with an obvious question.