Chapter 78: I Met Someone

April 7, 1984, West Monroe, Ohio

"Hi, Mikey!" Liz said when I walked in the door of the house just after 11:00am.

"Hi!" I replied.

"You saw Paul?" she asked.

"I did," I confirmed. "Everything seems to be going OK. He said you had a good talk at breakfast this morning."

"I'm DYING, Mike! I need him to take me in his arms and..."

I held up my hand and interrupted, "I get the picture!"

"How are things with Angie?"

"We only talked about her a little bit. This was mostly about me."

"Are you having trouble?"

I shook my head, "No. But I find talking to Doctor Mercer helps me think about things in ways I might not otherwise have done, and she also challenges my assumptions. I know you've had trouble with counselors, but she's really good and really helpful."

"Mom said to say she's sorry they missed you, but they had these plans for some time."

"That's OK. I'm only staying for the afternoon to hang out with you. I need to get back to McKinley for Vespers. Did you hear anything from Maggie?"

"She's about to go stir crazy because she wants to see you. Otherwise, the plans are what I told you. You probably won't be home again before graduation, right?"

"Right. You're welcome to visit after Pascha, as we discussed."

"The 28th. I miss talking to Clarissa. I got used to doing that over break."

"If you want to spend time talking with her, that's fine," I said with a smile. "I won't be upset. What do you want to do today?"

"Let me make you lunch. After we eat, we can listen to music and play pool and talk."

"Deal!" I replied.

Liz, to my surprise, prepared a fasting-acceptable lunch of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, tomato soup, and chips. When we finished, we cleaned up the kitchen, then went the basement. She turned on the radio while I uncovered the pool table and racked the balls.

"Have you played much?" I asked.

"Some. You?"

"Not since the last time I played here. There are tables in the Student Union, but I really don't have much free time. I've been missing karate too much as it is."

I let Liz break, and we began a casual game of eight ball.

"Are you dating at all?" Liz asked. "Or just waiting on Maggie?"

"I went on a date last night with a Freshman girl from the Pittsburgh area who's Orthodox but hasn't been to church since she was little."

"How'd you meet her?"

"I carried her to the infirmary after she ended up with food poisoning from something she ate at the bowling alley. She was puking her guts out and couldn't walk, so I picked her up, gave her a plastic bag to barf into, and carried her to see the nurse. She wanted to thank me for saving her life, and we ended up going out last night."

"Saving her life?" Liz laughed.

"So she was a bit overly dramatic, but it worked as an icebreaker, and I asked her out."

"And?"

"And we'll see. I going to keep my promise to Maggie about no decisions before she and I get to know each other better. Laura, that's her name, will go home for the Summer and on vacation with her family, so Maggie and I will have time to sort things out one way or the other."

"And you and Clarissa?"

I shrugged, "The ball is in her court, but my feeling is that in the end, she needs a girl as her partner for life, not a guy."

"But she still trumps any other girl, right?"

"Yes. And no matter what happens, she and I are going to Europe the Summer after we graduate. Sandy will likely come with us, and I think Pete might come along."

"And what? You'll go away for a month with Clarissa, then come back and get married right away?"

"One step at a time!" I chuckled. "If Clarissa isn't going to be my wife, the field is wide open, and yes, Maggie is a leading contender, but I just don't know her well enough to say more than that at this point."

"Her dad really fucked things up for her," Liz growled.

I sank the eight on a called shot, then racked the balls a second time. I broke, and we began our second game.

"He did," I replied. "Her brother Karl did the best he could, but she really doesn't have any good options until she graduates from High School. Emmy was fortunate she could move in with her cousin."

"And you moved to McKinley full-time. It's like we all have to get out of the house to be able to be ourselves."

"Mom and Dad were pretty good about letting me do my thing," I replied.

"Because you didn't DO anything! Seriously, you basically were the angel to my devil."

"Mom and Dad never saw you as a devil, Liz. They didn't understand you, and they didn't know what happened to you, but that didn't make them think you were evil. If they made a mistake, it was assuming what worked with me would work with you. It's a problem I hear from other kids at school, too. It's something to watch out for when we become parents. Actually, you've never talked about having kids."

"Because I'm not sure. I'm barely eighteen, and I don't think I could take care of a kid. You could, but I couldn't. And I'm not talking about money; I'm talking about meeting their emotional needs. You're ready to be a dad, Mike; I'm not ready to be a mom."

"And yet, as much as I would love to have a son or daughter sooner than that, I have at least six years before that's going to happen because I need to be able to devote enough time to them. I mean, I suppose it might be possible before then, but it would be really rough on my wife and kids."

"Why are you in a hurry?"

"Part of it is because I've always wanted a family, but I suspect part of it is because the system has said, in effect, that I can't."

"My brother, the rebel! He'll do the traditional thing of marrying and having kids to buck the system!"

I laughed, "When you put it that way..."

The doorbell rang, and Liz bounded up the steps. I waited for her to come back and simply grinned when Violet came down the stairs instead.

"Hi," she said shyly.

"Hi, Violet."

She spoke softly, and I had to strain to hear her.

"Liz said she'll go hang out somewhere with Valerie if you want."

"Is that what you want?" I asked.

Violet bit her lip and nodded. I smiled, then stepped past her and went up the stairs.

"Thanks, Liz," I said quietly.

Liz winked and then went out the front door. I turned and went back down to the basement.

"What would you like to do?" I asked.

"Be with you," she whispered, barely audibly.

One thing was immediately clear — this wasn't going to be the fantasy I'd dreamt that day I fell asleep on the couch. That gave me pause, as did her obvious nervousness. I wanted her, but the Violet I wanted was the fantasy Violet, and I wasn't sure what the Violet in front of me truly wanted. Yes, she'd said she wanted to 'be with' me, but I wondered about that. Liz had said Violet knew what I wanted and that Violet wanted the same thing; I wasn't so sure.

I walked over and took her hand, which was shaking, and we went up the stairs, but rather than continue up my bedroom, I led her to the kitchen.

"Want a Coke?" I asked.

Violet nodded, and I got two Cokes, opened them, poured some chips into a bowl, and carried everything to the living room, with Violet following behind. I handed her a Coke, set the chips down on the coffee table, then went to the stereo and put on my dad's Tattoo You album. I went over to the couch where Violet had sat down and sat down close, but not too close, to her.

"How is school going?" I asked.

"Fine," she answered tentatively, then quickly took a sip of her Coke.

I saw Violet's pulse in her neck and realized that her heart was racing.

"Do you have plans for the Summer?" I asked.

"Not really."

She took another quick sip of her Coke and looked furtively at the stairs that led up to my bedroom.

"Violet," I said gently, "take a very deep breath and let it out slowly."

She inhaled, then slowly blew out her breath.

"Again," I said.

She took another deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Feel better?" I asked.

She nodded and took a sip of her Coke.

"Now," I said softly, "tell me about school."

"I have mostly A's, with just one B in Spanish. I had trouble with past tense, so I didn't do so well on our last exam. But I asked Miranda, who's a Junior, to give me some extra help, and I think I can pull my grade up to an A."

"Good. And band?"

"It's good. We had our Spring concert about a week ago, and it went really well. I got to play a solo even though I'm only a Sophomore."

"What Chair are you?"

"Second. That's usually for a Junior, but I'm better than Melissa and Kelly. I'm almost as good as Alice, who's a Senior and First Chair. I think I can win First Chair next year."

"What do you like to play?"

"Country music! But we play mostly classical and pop music."

"What's your favorite thing to play?"

"The Devil Went Down to Georgia and Cotton-Eyed Joe. They're fiddle songs, but I can play them on my violin."

"When do you play next?"

"Graduation. We'll play Pomp and Circumstance. Do you know that's actually the trio section Land of Hope and Glory from March Number 1 of the Pomp and Circumstance Military Marches?"

"No, I didn't know that. I listen to a lot of popular music, some not-so-popular, and a little bit of classical. I know a lot about pop music."

"Emmy said you buy lots of albums."

I nodded, "It's my one luxury. I'd be lost without my music. You said you liked to play pool, right?"

"Yes."

"Would you like to play?"

She nodded, "Yes."

We went down to the basement again, and I set the rack on the table and loaded the balls into it. I handed Violet the cue ball and stepped back. As she lined up her shot, a brief image of the fantasy popped into my head but quickly faded. She broke but didn't pocket any balls. I pocketed the fifteen to take stripes. As we played, I noticed we were about evenly matched, which made the game competitive.

"Do you play at school?" she asked.

"Not for a long time," I replied. "I don't have much free time."

"Liz said you used to be really good."

"I was. It's like anything else, if you don't practice, your skills atrophy. I'm not nearly as good at chess as I used to be, either."

"What do you do? I mean, besides go to class and study?"

"I run, practice karate, go to church, and hang out with my friends."

"You don't have a steady girlfriend?"

"No. Do you have a boyfriend?"

"I'm not allowed to date until Junior year starts. I think my dad wishes I wouldn't date until I went to college or somehow got married without ever dating."

"Dads tend to be like that in my experience. Mostly, I think it's because they were teenage boys and know how teenage boys think."

Violet giggled, "Duh! They all want the same thing!"

She was MUCH more relaxed, which was a good thing. Whether that led anywhere was an entirely separate question.

"That was pretty much my fixation in High School."

"How old were you, you know, when you did it?"

"Eighteen. Wanting to do it doesn't directly translate to getting to do it."

"Because the girls are in control."

"That about sums up the existence of every High School boy on the planet. College boys, too."

"Nobody, uhm, wanted to do it with you until then?"

"If they did, they sure didn't tell me!"

She laughed softly, and we finished our game, and I set up for a third one. I handed her the cue ball, but she didn't move her hand away.

"I told you," she said quietly, her hand shaking slightly as she said it.

"And you were extremely nervous. Your hand is shaking now, so I'd say you're still nervous."

"Weren't you nervous your first time?"

"Yes. How about we try a kiss?"

She smiled and nodded. I put my hand to her chin, gently tipped her head back, lowered my lips to her, and we exchanged a soft kiss. I didn't hold it too long and nodded towards the pool table. She took the cue ball, and we began our third game.

"Want to know a secret?" I asked after I took my turn and sank one ball.

"What?"

"It doesn't have to be today."

"You don't want to?"

"The more important question is, are you really ready for this?"

"I think so."

"That was your first-ever kiss, wasn't it?"

"Yes. Did you like it?"

"It was very sweet," I replied.

"Do you want another one?"

I put down my cue, held out my arms, and she stepped into them. I wrapped my arms around her, and we exchanged a soft kiss. Her lips parted slightly, so I pressed my tongue forward in search of hers. Our tongues touched, and she squeezed her arms tightly around me. We held the kiss for about thirty seconds before I released her.

"Your turn," I said.

She sank one of her stripes, then missed.

"So if I wanted to, you would?" she asked.

"Violet," I said gently, setting my cue on the table, "will you tell me why you want to do it?"

"I, uhm, well, Mindy and Emmy and Hannah say it's totally awesome and that you're really, really good."

"And that's a reason to do it? It's not like you can take it back or get a 'do-over'."

"You don't want to?"

"I do, but the most important thing is that you're sure and that you understand what you're asking for. And more importantly, what I can offer."

"Offer?"

"I can't be your boyfriend, and we'd probably only do it this one time and never, ever again. A lot of people think it's too important to do it under those circumstances."

"You?"

"It's a very personal decision," I said. "So my feelings aren't all that important. But I want you to know that whatever we did, and however good it was, it would just be sex."

"Just sex?"

I had the distinct feeling she wasn't understanding. Hannah hadn't been nervous and had made it clear she knew that it was just going to be some fooling around. The same was true with Mindy. That wasn't the vibe I was getting from Violet at all. I had to make it clear to her.

"I can't make love to you, Violet," I said, "because I'm not in love with you. The only thing we can do is ... fuck. Just pure fucking. I can make you feel really good — fuck your brains out, if you want — but that's all it will be. Fucking. Is that what you want? If it is, just ask."

"You obviously don't think I should."

"The important point is that YOU don't think you should, or at least you aren't sure. When you're sure, no, IF you become sure, then ask me to fuck your brains out, and I will. Today, we'll just play pool and kiss, if that's OK."

Violet smiled, "Yes."

April 7, 1984, McKinley, Ohio

"You were really that blunt with her?" Clarissa asked as we sat on the couch in my room just after I returned to Taft.

"I felt I had to be, and I think the fact that she thanked me when I left to drive back to McKinley and gave me a very nice kiss says I judged things correctly."

"Do you think she'll ask?"

"I have no idea, but if she does, she won't be ready to wet her pants the way she was when she first arrived at my parents' house."

"Everything was cool with Paul and Liz?"

"Yes. I doubt you'll find someone more concerned about making sure they do a good job than Paul Reynolds. He does not want to lose the job, and he doesn't want to do anything at all that will get his parole revoked."

"And your talk with Doctor Mercer?"

"Good, as always," I replied. "Angie is making slow progress, but that was to be expected. Doctor Mercer wants me to call her more regularly. And obviously, report if Angie says anything inappropriate."

"Doctor Mercer isn't worried that Angie will form some kind of attachment?"

"She already has one, and it was basically the first thing to emerge when they reduced the psychoactive drugs. I'm no expert, but that tells me it has to be the strongest feeling Angie has. And she reverted to form, trying to get her friend to sleep with me. I'm sure that's what Doctor Mercer is working on."

"And when you decide to get betrothed to me or Laura or Maggie or whomever?"

"I believe Doctor Mercer will have me tell Angie and hopefully break the spell."

"And if it doesn't?"

"Then I fear Angie will never have even a semblance of a normal life."

"That's terrible."

"I know."

"How was your day?"

Clarissa smirked, "You didn't get laid, but I did!"

"And?"

"Nothing personal, Petrovich, but it was out of this world!"

"I don't take it personally. In fact, I'd have been somewhat surprised if that wasn't the case. That wasn't the point of what you and I did, after all. What we did was purely about love. What you did today was about..."

"Fucking!" Clarissa laughed, completing the thought. "The thing Violet couldn't do."

"So now what?"

"We still have the other part of our bargain. One day, the week we're at Doctor Blahnik's house, before the Summer session starts, you're going to show me every possible way we can love each other physically, including at least one good, old-fashioned fucking. Then we'll talk about the future."

I had a pretty good idea of how this was going to end, and I was sure Clarissa did as well. I didn't discount any possibility, but I knew where the 'smart' money was.

"I live to serve m'lady," I replied. "May I inquire as to who the lucky girl was?"

"Me!" Clarissa laughed. "But, if you mean my partner, I'll just say that it was the wildest, most free-spirited, most fun-loving, anything-legal troublemaker I've ever met!"

I laughed and shook my head, realizing I should have known. Every vibe Rebekah gave off was 'sex', and it appeared those vibes affected girls and were intended to affect girls.