Chapter 55: A Serious Miscalculation?

December 26, 1983, Boyne Mountain, Michigan

I'd left home very early in the morning, happy to escape the war zone. Liz had been grounded for two weeks, including no phone calls and no visitors, and was seething. I had attempted to talk to my mom, but she'd stopped me before I got five words out of my mouth and told me to mind my own business, and she had said it in such a way that I knew any further attempts to persuade her to relax the punishment would be futile. Liz had said the unsayable word, and it had been heard by other relatives.

Clarissa and I had eaten breakfast together, and then Jocelyn had picked her up. They'd spend time together while I was gone and would include Tasha as often as possible. Once I'd finished eating, I'd packed my bags, hopped into my Mustang, and headed to Lima, where I'd left my car at Sophia's house. Robby and Lee had picked us up in Robby's dad's 1980 Ford LTD, which had a back seat which was much more comfortable for the drive from Lima to Boyne Mountain.

The six-hour drive had been uneventful, and we'd checked into our rooms in the lodge. They were very nice, but Robby had connections, which provided a significant discount. The rooms each had a large queen-size bed and a nice bathroom with a big shower and large tub. Sophia and I unpacked quickly and then met the guys for a walk to a local pizza joint for dinner. After dinner, we'd hung out in the large common room at the lodge before turning in relatively early so we could be up before dawn for breakfast, an early start on the slopes, and my early ski lesson.

"Other than your promise of three nights of sexual ecstasy, we didn't discuss this," I said when Sophia and I were in our room.

Sophia smiled, "A promise is a promise!"

"It's not nearly that simple, and you know it," I replied. "Remember what you told me after the one wonderful lovemaking session that wasn't a 'comfort fuck'?"

"I remember."

"Don't you think we should discuss that? It has some pretty far-reaching implications."

"Because I said I didn't think I could ever stop?"

I nodded, "Yes. Before that, you had said it would just be about pleasure and would change everything. You offered to do anything and everything but said there was no going back. Think about the two statements. And your statement you could never marry a doctor."

"You're worried about me!"

I nodded, "Obviously."

"And you came on this trip for me, even if it meant we'd only cuddle. And I mean actual cuddling."

"I don't want to hurt you, and if that means no sex for these four days, I'm fine with that. In fact, if this is going to confuse you in any way, I'd prefer we just cuddle."

"Wow! You're actually considering the idea that doing more than just our special hugs might lead to a serious relationship?"

"I'm considering that YOU think it might. That was your concern before, and why, I think, you stopped coming to visit me. Granted, it was mutual, but I think at least in the back of your mind was how you felt after that one time we made love."

"What are you saying?" she asked.

"Only do this if you can truly handle the consequences, whichever way they go."

"Hold on a sec! You're saying I decide for both of us?"

"Not at all. But once you tell me if this is just a three-day, uninhibited fuck fest or that you'll want to explore a relationship, then it's up to ME to decide what to do."

"But what about Kimiko?"

"Once you told me you didn't want to marry a doctor, period, I ceased considering you as a potential partner. You seem as if you're about to change the equation."

"Oh, shit," she sighed.

"Is that an 'oh shit' I've created a mess? An 'oh shit' I didn't expect this? Or an 'oh shit' I should have told you how I felt about you sooner?"

"I'd say all three," she said.

"And your offer of a three-day, uninhibited fuck fest was countenanced on your certainty that I thought there was no possibility of exploring a long-term relationship."

"I obviously miscalculated in a serious way."

"How so? That I wouldn't bring up what you said? That I'd just ignore the elephant in the room? That I'd not ignore it but decide if you said you just wanted to fuck, we'd fuck, and I wouldn't care that it might hurt you?"

"Do you want to know the sick part?"

"What's that?"

"Robby warned me this was going to happen, but I didn't believe him. He said you were WAY too sensitive to miss the implications, both for you and for me."

"Robby is a smart man," I said. "He has good taste in guys, too!"

"You did not just say that!" Sophia laughed, as I'd hoped she would, to break the tension.

"Why not? Lee is a great guy! I didn't say I wanted to FUCK him! I said Robby had good taste!"

Sophia laughed more, "I think you've said 'fuck' more times in the last fifteen minutes than you have since I first met you!"

"George Carlin said those words have power when used in a certain way, and I want to make a distinction between two very different acts."

"You are one of the few guys I've met who can differentiate between the two in a meaningful way."

"Was Robby's advice, solicited or unsolicited?"

"Unsolicited. He offered it when I presented my enticement for you to reconsider your decision not to make this trip. He told me I was playing with fire because I wasn't being honest with myself and that I wouldn't be able to avoid this exact situation."

"Then the question I have to ask you is this — why make the offer?"

"Will you believe me if I tell you I have no idea?"

"If being confused were illegal, I'd be in jail serving a life sentence! It seems a perpetual state for the time from puberty to some indeterminate point in the future when we figure things out well enough that they don't confuse us and confound us on a minute-to-minute basis."

"You think that day will ever come?"

"I sure as heck hope so for our patients' sake!" I declared.

Sophia laughed softly, "Yeah, that would be bad, wouldn't it?"

"I think there are good reasons for Internship and Residency."

"Yeah, could you imagine? Here's your MD, good luck, have fun, don't kill too many people!"

"That is kind of how it works for lawyers! My friend Jocelyn basically has to graduate and pass the bar, and then she can represent anyone for anything, anywhere in Ohio. She could take a death penalty case the day after she received her law license and just run with it if somebody were to hire her."

"Crazy!"

"But back to the question at hand, what is it you want?"

"So, hypothetically speaking, you think we could be a couple?"

"Hypothetically speaking, anything is possible! I don't know because, as I said, I never really considered it because you foreclosed the issue. When you said you didn't want to marry a doctor and that we shouldn't make love again because you wouldn't want to stop, I took you at your word. Maybe if you hadn't said that, I would have asked you out. Maybe not. I can't honestly say for sure, but I think I would have. And if you recall the timing, that was before I started dating Janey. It was even before Sandy. A LOT has happened since then. Whether it's too much, I can't tell you for sure. All I know is that I'd have to seriously consider it."

"So if I admit I still have those feelings for you, then what?"

"I guess my first question would be, could you marry a doctor? And would you be happy doing that? If the answer to that is no, and you just want the three-day, uninhibited fuck fest, and you won't be emotionally troubled by it, I have two-dozen rubbers with me!"

Sophia laughed, "Eight times a day? And that's not even counting other stuff!"

"I'm game to try!" I chuckled. "That said if you think you could marry a doctor, then we need to discuss what three days of lovemaking means to each of us."

"No middle ground?"

"Do you think there is? I mean, at this point?"

Sophia was quiet for a moment, "No, I guess not. And you'd just drop Kimiko? Like that?"

"What I said was I would have a decision to make. I've made no commitments that I would need to violate because if I had, I wouldn't be here. But I also can't guarantee any specific outcome."

"You're saying no commitment right now?"

"I couldn't make a commitment right now because I gave my word that I would sit down with Tasha once she graduates and moves to McKinley and talk about our future. I'd say the most likely outcome of that talk is that we'll agree that neither of us thinks marrying the other is the right thing to do. But I can't go into that conversation with the future already determined."

"Then how does Kimiko figure into your decision?"

"To be honest, I've said she's the girl of the ones who are real possibilities — Tasha, Maggie, and her, who I prefer. But remember, you weren't even a possibility until about fifteen minutes ago. The other thing is, and I'm not being defeatist here at all, there is a long way to go with Kimiko and some very significant hurdles to overcome. You know I can't even officially date her until she's chrismated."

"But you can unofficially screw?" Sophia asked with a smirk.

I shrugged, "I have a very specific weakness, easily exploited by pretty girls. My confessor knows about it."

Sophia laughed, "So, you're a guy? That's hardly news! How long is her catechism?"

"A minimum of two years. And then there's the whole issue of permanent residency and eventually becoming a citizen if she stays. And there's a hard deadline on the easier of the two difficult paths to that — her dad goes back to Japan at the end of his fellowship, which is the June after she graduates. She also wants to get a Master's degree, which complicates things even more."

"That's a heck of a set of circumstances, and you basically don't know the outcome for years, and it might depend on the decision of somebody in INS."

"I know. She knows the limits within which I have to stay with regard to the Church, but weirdly, it fits Japanese dating in that until there's what amounts to a promise ring, you only go out in groups."

"So, in effect, going steady is pre-engagement."

"Basically, yes. It's not the class ring, but a promise ring, to put it in High School terms."

"But sex is OK?"

"According to Kimiko, neither Buddhism nor Shinto have taboos against pre-marital sex, requiring only that one act with respect towards one's partner and one's own self."

"What do you think the odds are?"

"Measuring the competition?" I grinned.

"You may think your Russian girls are tough, but you have NO idea!"

I chuckled, "I think ALL Orthodox women are like that. It has to be in the chrism! But as I've said, the superpower only seems to be conferred on females, not males. To answer your question, I know it's a difficult road and there are quite a few potholes and barricades and other obstacles that could trip us up. I can't give you specific odds, but I realize they're pretty long, which creates the actual problem."

"That you're committing to her, even if you can't formally commit, and things might go badly at some future point."

"Which can happen in any relationship, but this one has so many things which are beyond her control and my control that it's very different from, say, you and I working towards a relationship and agreeing to marry in, say, three years. In our case, we can both make that decision, knowing that we're basically in control of it. Neither Kimiko nor I can do that. And we both know it. And I didn't even mention the whole cultural divide."

Sophia smiled and said, sounding quite stern, "'Sophia, you must marry a Greek boy!'"

"Grandmother?" I asked.

"BOTH grandmothers! They'll tolerate someone Orthodox, but you'd still be the, well, white sheep of the family!"

"My pasty white skin compared to your lovely olive complexion?"

"Can you even GET a tan?"

"I tend to burn, so I'm careful about too much sun. You understand, at least a bit, about the cultural issues."

"More than. Let's just say the level of concern for me even dating a non-Greek Orthodox guy is pretty high. Dating a non-Orthodox boy would be tantamount to giving my family the «μούντζα» (moúntza), you know, the open-hand insult we Greeks use. The only possible redemption would be if he agreed to convert, but even then..."

"Fortunately, my family and my church are both cool with converts, and we have quite a few 'married-ins' like my dad. But he fits right in with all the other pasty white folks at church! Well, we do have a couple of black families at Saint Michael, along with the family from India. I really wish our bishops would get their staffs out and form a true American church."

"The Greeks will be OK with that if they're in charge."

"Which the Antiochians will never accept. And the OCA has the legitimate claim, at least as far as the canons go, but nearly every national Church was established uncanonically because there was no thought to handling churches outside the Roman Empire when the canons were written."

"How would this work? I mean, if I told you I was interested in giving it a go?"

"You've already told me that, even though you didn't say it directly. And we've been talking about how it would work for most of the time we've been in the room. One step at a time. We hang out, but we spend a bit more time alone together, and I'm not talking about sex; I'm talking about talking. And we see where it leads."

"Doesn't Kimiko spend most nights with you?"

"Only about half," I replied. "And she's not the jealous type in any way. But you and I need to take things slowly and carefully."

"What do you mean? No sex?"

"I mean not making that the primary focus. Whatever we do the next three nights, when we go back to McKinley, we spend WAY more time talking in bed than screwing. And way more time talking out of bed than in bed."

"She really did a number on your head, didn't she?"

"Who?"

"Milena."

I shook my head, "No, she did a number on my heart. She helped me figure out exactly the kind of intimate relationship I want. Sex is fun, and I really enjoy it, but making love is fulfilling in a way that raw sex isn't."

"You and your feminine side. You don't WANT an aggressive lover, do you?"

I shook my head, "No. As I said, that can be fun, but it doesn't fulfill my emotional or spiritual needs."

"And you think a feisty Greek girl is possibly the right choice?"

"Asks the woman who introduced me to the idea of a 'comfort fuck' and 'special hugs'."

"Oops," Sophia replied with a sly smile.

"So, Sophia Vasilakis, what do you want?"

"Will you be OK with me answering that question after a three-day, uninhibited fuck fest? So I can think things over?"

"And ask Robby and Lee for their opinions?"

"Busted," she said with a soft smile.

"You know I'm going to talk to Clarissa about this, right?"

"And in other news, water is wet! And I know the secret, Mike."

"What's that?"

"She's the REAL competition, not Kimiko or Maggie or Tasha."

"You're a smart girl," I said. "But you've been around Robby and Lee for years, so you know the mountain that would have to be climbed."

"I do. So?"

"I can't deny you time to think about it, so long as you are sure this isn't going to cause you serious emotional distress."

She smiled, "It won't. And you won't need those rubbers, either. I started on the Pill back in August."

"Now THAT is the best news I've heard all day!" I grinned.

"Want to hear something you might like even more?"

"What's that?"

"I'm sure I can get you completely into my mouth. And I swallow."

"And I like to eat pussy," I grinned.

"But there's one more thing," she said saucily.

"What's that?"

"I'm Greek!" she smirked. "It can go THERE, too!"

"Why are we standing here talking?" I asked.

"I've been wondering that from the minute we stepped into the room!"

December 27, 1983, Boyne Mountain, Michigan

"I seriously misjudged!" Sophia said as we got out of bed on Tuesday morning.

I chuckled, "And yet, you managed!"

"I should tell you the story," she said as I adjusted the spray in the shower.

"You mean the 'mayonnaise' incident?" I asked with a silly grin.

"I swear, I should kill Lee for saying that!"

"But you just offered to tell me!"

"Because you already knew something had happened."

"And if you recall, I said it was none of my business."

We got into the shower and took turns standing under the spray, washing ourselves, and she told me the story.

"Senior year, about a month before graduation, we had our class party. I'd lost my virginity by then, but I'd never given a blowjob. The boys teased me about it for obvious reasons."

"Because THEY had and you hadn't!" I chuckled.

"Exactly. Anyway, there was a guy they knew I was interested in, so they dared me to flirt with him and make him the lucky recipient of the first-ever Sophia Vasilakis blowjob. They gave me pointers, but what they didn't tell me was how big he was, the little bastards!"

I chuckled, "With friends like them..."

"Yeah. Anyway, things went as you would expect when a pretty girl basically offered oral sex. We ended up going for a walk in the woods and found a nice clearing where we could have a bit of privacy. I was more than a bit surprised because the guys I'd been with, including Robby, were about average, at least according to our health teacher. So here I was, face-to-face with a bigger one than I'd seen before, and I just went for it. It was sloppy, I'm sure, but guys tend to not object to tongues on their dicks, so I got him to the end and proceeded to choke, cough, and splutter because I was caught a bit by surprise. I finished him and didn't notice the bit of 'mayonnaise' on my cheek that Lee later offered to wipe off."