Chapter 52: Clarissa, Tasha, and Jocelyn, Oh My!

December 17, 1983, Rutherford, Ohio

After Vespers, Clarissa, Jocelyn, Tasha, and I went to Lou's diner in Rutherford for dinner.

"Is this Mike's nightmare?" Jocelyn teased. "Or Mike's ultimate fantasy?"

"The three of you would be a nightmare," I said flatly. "It's bad enough to have ONE woman telling me what to do! But three? Kill me now!"

The girls all laughed.

"He knows women are in charge," Tasha said primly. "Even the bishops cower in the corner if the women of the church are upset!"

"Because they're SMART!" I declared.

"Don't let him kid you," Clarissa said. "His favorite professor and favorite dean are both female."

"Yes," I agreed. "But they aren't part of the «съборъ бабушек» (sobor babushki)!"

"I never did learn Mike's code," Jocelyn said.

"The 'cabal of grandmothers'," Clarissa said. "Right, Tasha?"

"Yes! Very good, uhm, now what would it be? Something to do with light? So Photini? And your dad's name?"

Clarissa smiled, "According to Petrovich, I'm Svetlana Yakovovna."

"Ah yes, that makes sense. Your father must be either Jacob or James."

"James. Jocelyn, what does your name mean?"

"I haven't the foggiest idea," she said. "It's not Biblical, and from what I found in the library, nobody knows for sure what the origin of the name is."

"What about your middle name?"

"Theresa."

"All the saints with that name are Western, post-schism," I said,

"In English, please!" Jocelyn said.

"Sorry, there are no Orthodox saints with that name; the only ones are Roman Catholic, from after the Popes of Rome went their separate way. I checked back in High School and discovered that fact. Our practice would be to give you a new name at your chrismation and that would be the name by which you would be known in the church. Mostly, you can pick, with the guidance of the priest. For the case that on ordination or tonsuring, if you were to be a nun, the bishop or abbess could confer on you any name of his or her choice."

"Being Lutheran is WAY less complicated! An hour on Sunday morning, prayers before bed, and that's about it!"

"How is school going, Jocelyn?" Tasha asked.

"Good. I'm sure Mike told you I'm going to finish at Taft."

"He did. Have you recovered fully?"

"About 95%, which is actually better than most, given what they had to fix."

"That's physically," Clarissa teased, "How about mentally?"

"We're here with Mike," Jocelyn smirked. "What does that say about OUR collective mental state?"

"Nothing good!" Clarissa replied with a wink to me.

"Are you in any pain, Jocelyn?" Tasha asked.

"Not really. The little aches and pains have mostly gone away, though if I sit too long, my muscles get stiff. I hear you have a job in McKinley starting this Summer."

"As a pharmacy technician at Emmerson's, the biggest drug store."

"Have you thought about becoming a pharmacist?"

"It's possible, but the first thing I want to do is move out of my dad's house! It's like living in the Soviet Union with the KGB watching my every move!"

I chuckled, "It's not quite THAT bad. Your dad lets you come visit me whenever you want."

"My dad trusts YOU, not me."

"Which makes him an idiot!" Clarissa teased.

"Definitely!" Jocelyn agreed.

"Gee, thanks," I said sarcastically.

"Because Tasha's virtue was safe with you?" Jocelyn asked with a smirk.

"Tasha's virtue wasn't safe with TASHA!" I chuckled. "And I believe her dad knew that!"

"«Ты некультурная свинья»(ty nekulturnaya svinya)!" Tasha exclaimed, but her tone was playful.

"Uncultured swine," Clarissa translated for Jocelyn.

"You should have heard Mike with Dale and my boyfriend, Carl, when we were in High School," Jocelyn said, shaking her head. "Those three had exactly one topic of conversation."

"They're men!" Tasha laughed. "What do you expect? They weren't old enough to drink or smoke, so the only thing that they had to think about was sex! The old men drink, smoke, and flirt with young girls!"

"When they can get away with it," I said. "I've seen the outcome when they're too frisky."

"Your grandmother is not worried about your grandfather," Tasha said. "He was always sweet, and we knew he was flirting because it was fun. There were a few men, though..."

"There are ALWAYS those men," Jocelyn groused, shaking her head. "We have one married professor who is in his sixties, who makes it abundantly clear that he will be happy to bed any co-ed who wishes to improve her grade."

"How does he not get fired?" I asked.

"Because he's VERY careful to stay just on the correct side of the line in what he says. But I also know a couple of girls who took him up on his oblique offer to improve their semester grade."

"That's just disgusting!" Clarissa declared.

"Not saying you would do that," Jocelyn said, "but what if something like that turned out to be the difference between getting into medical school or not?"

"I'll go work at McDonald's," Clarissa replied firmly. "Some things just are NOT for sale, and some things are wrong, even if the end result is good."

"Playing the Devil's Advocate, as my ethics professor likes to do, what if one of those two girls finds the cure for cancer? Or solves the unified model of the universe?"

"What if she goes on to run a brothel in Nevada?" Clarissa asked sarcastically. "But I realize you're asking me if 'situational ethics' are appropriate. I don't know if they are, but I do know that the lovable idiot next to me thinks so, at least with regard to learning certain medical procedures."

"Lovable?" Jocelyn teased. "I don't know about that! The idiot part, sure!"

"You love me, and you know it!" I replied smugly.

"Clarissa, would you smack him for me?"

"Gladly!"

She did, lightly, on the shoulder.

"Even so," Clarissa continued. "I do understand why Mike has that particular issue, but it's WAY different from what you just said."

"A sin is a sin," I said. "I'm in no position to judge another person."

"But would you want someone who thought that way to be in medical school? Knowing they might sleep their way to the top of the class and into a better Residency program? It's basically cheating."

"There's a difference between not judging and condoning, Lissa," I said gently.

"Sometimes I think you take that a bit too far. What happens if you're on a medical ethics board some day?"

"I suppose it depends on what you mean. In the end, if whatever was done, or whatever is being proposed, helps the patient, I really don't give a damn about the law or ethics or anything else. My primary duty HAS to be to patient care, not some administrator or insurance company or drug company or government bureaucrat. And that's why I'm considering the training. Because, as I see it, my duty to my patients HAS to override my own feelings, morals, ethics, or whatever. Once I substitute what I want for what they need, I cease being a physician."

"That sounds like a prepared statement," Jocelyn observed. "For your bishop?"

"Pretty much. And it's only the training that's at issue — I will never, ever perform an elective abortion. But as we've discussed, a similar procedure is necessary in the ER for resolving a spontaneous miscarriage, as an example."

"You don't have to sell me," Jocelyn declared. "You know my position on that — it is nobody's business except the woman and her physician and her partner, if she chooses to involve him."

"Same here," Clarissa agreed. "And that's Mike's political view, even if it's not his personal view."

"It's a very difficult thing," Tasha sighed. "I think it's very evil, but, well, everyone here except Jocelyn knows that Sasha is pregnant, and it was something we considered."

"Your dad must be out of his mind," Jocelyn observed.

"Mike talked him down from the ledge," Tasha said with a smile. "As I said, Dad trusts and respects him."

"And his opinion in June?"

Tasha smiled, "Won't matter much. Mike and I will decide what we're going to do, and I'll tell my dad. He can like it or lump it, his choice. I'll have a good job, and I won't be living at home or even going to the same parish. And I'll have you two there as friends, in addition to Mishka and some girls I know pretty well who go to Saint Michael."

"Clarissa," Jocelyn said, "is Mike teaching you Russian?"

"Mostly, it's one of our professors who escaped from behind the Iron Curtain. She's from Czechoslovakia but had to learn Russian as a child. I asked her for help out of self-defense! You never bothered?"

"The only time he used it was to swear! I never saw the point!"

"He CAN speak it if he tries," Tasha said. "He manages at my house, though my dad actually uses mostly English with Mike."

"Which for him is a huge concession," I said. "When I was younger, he expected me to speak Russian to him, and certainly in his house when I first started seeing Tasha. Jos, before I forget, are you going to put in your request for Rickenbacker 8?"

"Yes."

"Put me down as your roommate choice," Clarissa offered. "Glenda graduates in May, and I really don't want a random roommate assignment!"

"What about Kimiko?" Jocelyn asked.

"She gets along really well with Rebekah," I said. "And they agreed to room together for all four years back in October. Rebekah is dating my fellow musician, José. He's the one I played the concerts with this past semester."

"Dating?" Clarissa laughed. "Is that what you call fucking him unconscious pretty much every night?"

"The worst-kept secret in the dorm," I chuckled. "She's VERY open about it."

"She is," Clarissa agreed. "José and Mike play really well together, and when you put Milena in the mix, it's even more awesome. And you know Mike has a great voice."

"My oral skills are, indeed, unsurpassed," I smirked.

All three girls shrieked in mock offense, and Clarissa smacked my shoulder hard.

"Tasha was right about him being a «некультурная свинья» (nekulturnaya svinya)!" Clarissa said, shaking her head. ("uncultured swine")

"But he's right," Tasha declared primly, causing the other girls to laugh.

"I am SO dead in September," I said, shaking my head.

"You love us, and you know it!" Tasha said.

"I do."

December 18, 1983, West Monroe, Ohio

"Mom is taking Sasha to the doctor on Tuesday, and afterwards they are going shopping," Tasha said with a silly smile as she, Clarissa, and I sat in the sitting room at her house.

"And what exactly do you mean to imply, Natalya Vasilyevna?" I asked.

"I mean to imply you better be here on Tuesday morning at 10:15am sharp! Or you're not going to live to see Nativity!"

"My sense of self-preservation is sufficiently strong that I shall endeavor to be here."

"Tasha," Clarissa said, "I was really surprised at some of the stuff you said last night."

"You mean being open about the fact that Mike and I are screwing like crazed bunny rabbits?" Tasha asked quietly, with a smirk.

"Yes."

"I don't care who knows, though I prefer my dad not know, even if he suspects. Besides, I know Mike and Jocelyn are sleeping together when they have the chance. And I'm positive he's with Kimiko. May I ask a very inappropriate question?"

"Sure," Clarissa replied.

"Do you have thoughts about boys? Or just girls?"

Clarissa was silent for a moment, obviously considering how to answer the question. I was actually very curious to hear her answer.

"I think the best way to put it is more curiosity than desire, if that makes sense. About how it would be very different from being with a girl. I suspect you and Mike do the things Glenda and I do. Well, in the sense Mike does them to you. And I know your next question and the answer is, I have no idea if I would like it, or if I could even do it. Maybe in the right circumstance, with the right guy. I know Mike talked to you about us wanting to have a baby together, but given everything else, it's probably going to have to be artificial."

"But you could do it for that?"

"Probably. I mean, the biological functions are there, but it might not be fulfilling, if you know what I mean. Kind of like the difference between making love and masturbating."

Tasha smirked, "No comment."

I started laughing uncontrollably at the idea that Tasha had at ANY point in her life even considered masturbating, let alone done it, but she was a very healthy teenage girl, so in reality, it wasn't THAT surprising.

"Ignore him," Clarissa said, shaking her head.

"He finds it amusing because of something I said to him years ago about how that was inappropriate. I may have changed my mind!"

I laughed even harder.

"My turn for an inappropriate question," Clarissa said. "What happens when it's over?"

Tasha smiled, "Then I'll start dating and find the man I'm going to marry. Mike and I, and our families, will be the best of friends, and we'll enjoy the rest of our lives together, just not in the same bed. I think we've both known that for a few months, even if we've held out the possibility that we might end up together. I think he agrees with me."

I nodded, "I do."

"You two belong together," Tasha said quietly.

"We know," Clarissa said. "And that's why you asked the question before, right?"

"Yes. But I don't really understand how you feel or think, so I'm not sure if it's even possible."

"Why do you say that, Tasha?" I asked.

"Because you two are closer than you and Jocelyn ever were. I think part of that is that you're all adults now, and all those terrible things happened with Jocelyn, which prevented you from having an adult relationship. But even so, I think Clarissa is better for you than Jocelyn. Well, except for that one issue."

"You haven't really spent any time with Kimiko," I said.

"No, but I do listen to you, Mishka. And I am positive that if Clarissa could be with you as a lover, you wouldn't give anyone else the time of day."

"True," I admitted.

"Clarissa, I don't mean to offend you, but is there any help you could get?"

"Tasha," I said gently. "She didn't decide one day to like girls any more than you decided one day to like boys or any more than I decided to like girls. It's just who we are. You wouldn't go for help to stop liking boys, would you?"

"No. I'm sorry. It's just, well, not something I understand."

"Given your upbringing, I'm not surprised," I said. "Russian culture has a real bugaboo with homosexuality, and of course, we know the church's opinion on it."

"But you seem OK with it. How?"

"Because he's the most loving, non-judgmental person I know," Clarissa said. "He knows his own sin and is loath to take anyone else to task for what he might perceive as their sin."

"Tasha," I said gently, "is our fornication somehow less of a sin than Clarissa's?"

"I know it's not, but ... sorry, you're right, of course. It's not our place to judge others."

"I'm curious, Mike," Clarissa said. "If you were dean and you discovered what Jocelyn talked about, what would you do?"

"If the school rules forbid it, which I'm sure they do, I'd fire the professor. As for the girls, I think I'd revoke their credits for the class and have them retake it. I think expelling them is wrong, in that a person in authority took advantage of them. Yes, they're responsible, but he's far more responsible."

"Would you report him?"

"I think if I had first-hand knowledge, yes, but not based on hearsay or rumor. It's like the issue of marijuana and alcohol in the dorms. I only act if I have actual, first-hand knowledge. That's happened once, as you know."

"You know we'll likely run into something like that in our careers, right?"

I nodded, "And if I have evidence, I'll report it. If it's just a suspicion, I'd probably just approach the individual in question."

"What if that risked a patient's life?"

"You mean because I thought someone was a danger to a patient?"

"Yes."

"I think it's situational, but if it's just a difference of opinion, all I can do is forcefully make my case. I'm sure we'll address this stuff in our medical ethics class when we take it."

"Not from what I hear," Clarissa said, shaking her head. "I hear it's mostly about covering your butt."

"Wonderful," I sighed. "Well, I intend to be a 'forceful advocate for my patient,' to borrow a phrase I've heard from Jocelyn about the duties of an attorney."

"Doctor Joe Gannon?" Clarissa smirked.

"I think I saw every episode of Medical Center, starting when I was about six! That and Emergency! were my favorite shows. We watched Adam 12, Dragnet, The Rookies, SWAT, and The Mod Squad. Mom really liked Police Woman, and I think Dad watched it because he thought Angie Dickenson was hot!"

"Did you watch the Sunday Mystery Movies?" Clarissa asked. "We watched those religiously."

"Columbo, McMillan & Wife, McCloud, and Hec Ramsey? Yes. I also liked Banacek, but that was on Wednesday's show."

"It was more Brady Bunch, My Three Sons, Family Affair, and The Courtship of Eddie's Father here," Tasha said. "All the 'wholesome' shows. We also watched Little House on the Prairie and The Waltons. But I missed so many episodes because when we were little, my dad would cover the TV set with a black cloth during the major fasting periods — Great Lent, Little Lent, the Apostles' Fast, and the Dormition Fast. He felt it was too distracting."