Chapter 42: Kentucky for Christmas?

November 13, 1983, McKinley, Ohio

Kimiko had spent the night with me on Saturday, and on Sunday morning, Clarissa joined the two of us to go to church. The previous night, when Clarissa had spoken my thoughts, we'd simply hugged, she'd kissed my cheek, and left, letting Kimiko know I was waiting for her. The previous twenty-four hours had been almost surreal but also clarifying. But it wasn't over just yet — I had my date with Tasha, which I felt was going to be equally enlightening.

Kimiko hadn't said anything about our lunch with Tasha and Sasha, but that conformed to her usual pattern of behavior. She was normally quiet until she had something important to say, which made for occasional long periods of silence when we were together. It was interesting in that for her, simply being with me was sufficient, and quietly listening to music, something I had done for most of my life, was a perfectly good way to spend our time together.

"I plan to go to church tomorrow night and Tuesday morning," I said as we got into the car after the Divine Liturgy. "Tuesday is the first day of the Nativity fast, and I want to go to Vespers and Matins."

"There's no liturgy?" Clarissa asked.

"No, just the regular daily Matins and Vespers. There would be a liturgy at the Cathedral, but usually, with people working, nobody would be at the parish. Even Deacon Grigory works."

I started the car and pulled out of the parking lot, heading for campus.

"And that is when your dietary restrictions apply every day?" Kimiko asked.

"Yes, though they aren't as strict as during Great Lent. Fish is acceptable on most days, though I have some leeway because of eating in the cafeteria. It's considered similar to traveling, as I don't prepare my own meals and have to eat from the menu the school provides."

"I'm curious how you get sufficient protein during fasting," Clarissa said. "I've actually never thought about that until now."

"Nuts are an important source, as are chickpeas and regular peas, black beans, and lentils. Other things like broccoli, rice, asparagus, and cauliflower. Raw spinach, too. What I usually do is keep almonds and peanuts on hand, along with mixed nuts for variety. I also buy raw broccoli, which I can eat as a snack. And oatmeal for breakfast, which I can get in the cafeteria. They also have bananas and apples, which I can put in the oatmeal for flavor or a bit of honey."

"But you can have fish during this time?" Kimiko asked.

"Yes, but the cafeteria usually only serves fish regularly on Fridays during Roman Catholic Lent, which doesn't line up with ours because ours is longer, and the dates of Easter differ. That's an ancient argument and one for the bishops, not me!"

"I hear you say that a lot," Clarissa said.

"Because arguing about those things is for the bishop; my responsibility is to be obedient and submissive to MY bishop, and not worry about what other bishops are doing, and certainly not worry about what the non-Orthodox are doing."

"Which is why you've deflected Melody's encouragement to confront the Protestant preacher."

"That and being conflict-averse. Yes, sometimes it's necessary, but why seek it out? That's hardly a recipe for a peaceful life! If the man were to confront me, then I'd respond, but it seems as if Satan hasn't directed him my way!"

"Ouch!" Clarissa laughed. "Did you just say he was doing the Devil's work?"

"No, but YOU just did!"

"Cute, Petrovich, cute!"

"Thank you," I grinned.

When we arrived back at Taft, we went to the cafeteria for lunch, and then I walked to Doctor Blahnik's house to meet Tasha, who arrived a couple of minutes after I did. With barely a word, she dragged me to the guest room, and we spent the next two hours trying to screw each other unconscious.

It wasn't until after the third time, when Tasha and I got into the tub together, that we talked.

"Only three times," I chuckled as she settled back against me.

"Three VERY energetic times with so many orgasms I couldn't count them!" she replied as I wrapped my arms around her. "The bed is soaked with sweat and other things!"

"And my face was covered in them, too!"

"I very much like when you do that! But you didn't let me do the same to you!"

"I like that, but I prefer putting it where it does the most good for you!"

"I'll never complain about that!"

We sat quietly for several minutes in the warm, sudsy water until Tasha spoke again.

"You and Kimiko are, well, I'm not quite sure what word to use."

"Yes."

"Ah, that too? I wouldn't have guessed."

"Isn't that what you just asked?"

"No, I was asking what you two feel for each other. It's obvious there's something from the way she looks at you and listens to you and the fact that she's going to church with you. Does she know about us?"

"She knows I see you every Sunday afternoon, but she hasn't asked about whether we're intimate or not. I get the picture from her that Japanese men have some freedom in this area, even after they're married."

"In your dreams!" Tasha declared through soft laughter.

"I wasn't saying that I was going to do that," I replied, "only that her perspective is somewhat different from yours and mine. What I get from her is that men are permitted mistresses so long as the mistress doesn't usurp the place of the wife and so long as the man doesn't flaunt it. I'm not sure she agrees with that, but it seems to be a somewhat common thing in Japan. Neither Buddhism nor Shinto places any specific value on virginity but focuses on self-respect and appropriate behavior. I daresay YOU don't think being a virgin in your marriage bed is important!"

"True. My husband, whoever he might be, will have to understand that. If he can't, then he can't be my husband. I'm not ashamed, Mishka. And I don't believe we've done anything wrong."

"Which is why you haven't been to confession."

"The main reason, yes. But also, it would be very obvious to Father Herman, who I had been with, and I don't feel it appropriate to disclose what we do to anyone. I suppose Clarissa knows."

"And if Doctor Blahnik and Milena don't know, well..."

Tasha laughed softly, "I can be quite loud!"

"I wasn't going to say that," I chuckled, "but yes, you can! And even if not, it's obvious why we come here."

"That's true. Does this mean you think we're simply going to be lovers until one of us is in a committed relationship?"

"I haven't ruled anything out," I replied. "And that's the truth, not just something I'm saying so we can be together."

Tasha turned slightly with an impish smile on her face.

"It's going to take a lot more than a little Japanese girl to keep me from wanting to fuck every chance you and I have!" she exclaimed.

"Wow!" I chuckled.

"Are you objecting, Mikhail Petrovich?"

"Do I LOOK like an idiot?"

"Look like?" she giggled. "No. Act like? Sometimes, yes."

"Guilty as charged."

"So, Kimiko?"

"I like her, and we're very compatible, and, to be honest, I can see myself with her."

"I sense a but..."

"For her, faith is a cultural thing, and she would convert because, in effect, it was her duty."

"Not because she believed?"

"I don't know, and honestly, I don't know how to tell. But then I think about my own faith, and I couldn't prove it to anyone if they demanded proof."

"But you're very faithful, Mishka! You're ordained!"

"Which proves nothing," I replied. "How can you know I'm not just going through the motions? How can I know if you are just going through the motions? And how can I judge anyone else's faith when I'm unable to prove my own faith? You know what Saint James said — you say you have faith; I show you my faith by my works. But how do we KNOW?"

"I guess I don't understand what you're saying."

"Because if she believes, in her heart, then the chalice is the 'medicine of immortality'; if, on the other hand, it's a conversion of convenience, it's a deadly poison. And I don't know how to tell which it will be."

"But she's not a Christian now!"

"But she's faithful insofar as she understands the revealed truth. I could actually do her spiritual harm by, in effect, dragging her into the church when she doesn't believe."

"But wouldn't Father Nicholas or the Bishop be able to tell?"

"How? If she learns the catechism and says the right things, and does the right things, how could they know? I trust Vladyka ARKADY to have spiritual discernment, but looking into someone's heart takes a «старец» (staretz), and I don't know of any «старцы» (startzy) anywhere in the US." ("elder/elders")

"You don't think the Bishop has that kind of discernment?"

"I suppose the best way to put it is that he's not a «старец» (staretz), or at least nobody has referred to him as one or has treated him as one. It's not something you can claim; it's something that is recognized by the laity. Usually, it's a monk who's gone off into the wilderness on his own, and eventually, people start going to him for advice and spiritual discernment and report to others what happened. I respect Vladyka immensely, but he's not an 'elder' in the sense of the Russian word."

"So, what does that mean?" Tasha asked.

"I have no idea," I sighed. "I don't want to hurt her, but I can hardly demand proof of something I can't prove myself."

"But you believe I believe, don't you?"

"I have to take your word for it and look at your behavior, but yes. But you never told me that you had a duty to adopt my religion."

"Oh! I see the problem. Would you feel obligated to tell Vladyka ARKADY she said that because of your concern about her belief?"

"I don't know," I replied. "And, to be honest, it's more than that. She might well be giving up her entire belief system, which sustains and strengthens her, for one which is simply an empty formula."

"Wow! Have you talked to Father Nicholas or Vladyka ARKADY about this?"

"Father Nicholas, yes. I'm going to Columbus next Sunday to serve with Vladyka and speak to him."

"I'm curious about something — you didn't ask those questions about Maggie or Angie. Was that because they approached with belief?"

"I don't know because the situation with Kimiko isn't something I've encountered before. That said, one could say that both Angie and Maggie chose to investigate Orthodoxy because of me. Is that REALLY different?"

"I don't know how to answer that. What are you going to do?"

"Talk to the bishop and see what he says. Then, just take things one day at a time and see where things lead."

"But how will you actually know?"

"Therein lies my entire conundrum."

November 17, 1983, McKinley, Ohio

"Do you celebrate Thanksgiving, Kimiko?" Clarissa asked as she, Kimiko, and I relaxed in my room on Thursday afternoon.

"No. My parents haven't really adopted American traditions or culture, except as necessary for my dad's fellowship."

"What about Christmas?"

Kimiko smiled, "Many Japanese celebrate Christmas, but it's not a religious holiday. And we often eat a traditional meal of Kentucky Fried Chicken!"

"What?!" I exclaimed in surprise.

"It started about ten years ago when Kentucky Fried Chicken ran a Christmas special in the whole country. It was called «クリスマスはケンタッキー» (Kurisumasu ni wa Kentakkii), which means 'Kentucky for Christmas'."

"No way!" I objected.

"It's true!" Kimiko declared firmly but with a smile.

"And you exchange gifts and have a tree and so on?"

"Lots of people give gifts, some people have trees, and some shops decorate, and you see Santa-san costumes. I know you're surprised at that, but did you know that Country-Western music is very popular in Japan?"

Clarissa shook her head, "I just can't see a 'honkey-tonk' bar in Japan."

"Oh yes, they are very popular!"

"Wow! So, does your family eat Kentucky Fried Chicken on Christmas?"

"There isn't one in Oguni, so no. But we did here, the first year, on December 24th, which is the normal day to do it in Japan."

"I'm sorry, but of all the things you've told me about Japan, those are the two weirdest!"

Kimiko smiled, "I haven't told you about some of the things which are more common in the big cities than where I live. But some things are universal, such as two lovers writing their name on a lock and leaving it in a designated place."

"Like a normal combination lock?" I asked.

"Usually the kind with a key. May I tell you something which you will probably find outrageous?"

"Oh sure, why not?"

"There is a festival held every year, in the Spring, at the «金山神社» (Kanayama-jinja), a Shinto shrine, that celebrates «かなまら祭り» (Kanamara Matsuri), which in English would be 'Festival of the Steel Penis'."

Both Clarissa and I broke up laughing, and it was a good minute before Kimiko could continue.

"Anyway," she said with a mischievous smile, "it's usually the first Sunday in April, and they bring this giant steel statue of an erect penis on parade. People celebrate with drawings and carved vegetables; you can guess the shape!"

"I get the picture," I chuckled. "How the heck did THAT start?"

"It's from a Japanese legend about a jealous demon with sharp teeth who hid inside the vagina of a young girl the demon had fallen in love with. On the girl's wedding night, the demon bit off the penis of her lover. And it happened a second time to her as well. She wanted to be able to have sex, so she visited the local blacksmith who made her an iron penis which would cause the demon to break his teeth when she inserted it."

"What an excuse to get a dildo made!" Clarissa guffawed. "Uhm, sorry."

"It's OK. It's quite a silly legend, but that iron penis became part of the shrine. Prostitutes would visit to pray for protection from social diseases. Later, married couples visited to pray for marital bliss."

"I bet!" Clarissa smirked. "Can you even imagine something like that here, Mike?"

"No way!" I chuckled. "First of all, the Moral Majority would all have strokes, then the rest of the Religious Right would go absolutely insane."

"You know, Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson and their followers having strokes might do the country some good!" Clarissa observed.

"You Americans take a natural thing and make it unnatural! That makes NO sense. I understand your culture prizes virginity, but to treat the body and sex the way you do makes no sense at all to me."

"I think you'll find Mike and I generally agree on that, but we're in a minority. No 'penis festivals' here!"

"Only private ones!" Kimiko said with a smirk.

Clarissa and I broke up laughing again. I felt Kimiko had crossed a watershed in that she felt comfortable enough around Clarissa to say something like that.

"Guys all think that part of them should be worshiped!" Clarissa said when she stopped laughing.

"And how exactly is that a problem?" I asked with a grin.

"And right on schedule, the pig arrives in the room!"

"Clarissa," Kimiko said, "I know you prefer girls, but what is wrong with giving a man pleasure the way he likes? And what is wrong with him enjoying that pleasure?"

"Or being the octopus?" I teased.

Kimiko smiled, "You may worship me that way anytime you wish!"

"Octopus?" Clarissa asked.

"From a famous piece of Japanese woodblock art called, incorrectly in English, The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife. In Japanese, it's called Octopus and shell diver. You know, an Ama girl like in the Bond movie."

"I know that piece!" Clarissa smirked. "Glenda showed me in one of her art books! I should have realized that's what you meant! So, Mike likes that?"

Kimiko nodded, "He enjoys pleasuring me that way, and I very much enjoy it!"

The openness was, in a way, stunning, but in another way, fit with everything she'd said about sex in Japanese culture. And she hadn't been shy about it at fifteen when she'd approached both the Vietnamese nurse she'd told me about and her grandmother. It also told me that she accepted Clarissa as a close friend, something I felt might be very, very important in the future. It was a non-negotiable requirement for me, and Kimiko had just shown me she could allow Clarissa into her confidence.

"It does feel good," Clarissa sighed.

"That is what two girls do together?" Kimiko asked.

"We do the same things a boy and a girl do together, minus having a penis available. But we can use our fingers or dildos, if we want penetration."

And another measure of openness. Clarissa had hinted at things or made offhand double-entendre remarks, but she had answered Kimiko in a straightforward manner.

"You've never been with a man?" Kimiko asked.

Clarissa shook her head, "I've always been attracted to girls. I knew when I was fourteen, I wanted to have sex with girls, not boys."

"Have you thought about having sex with boys?"

Suddenly, I felt VERY uncomfortable and wondered how Clarissa would answer.

"Have YOU thought about having sex with girls?"

"No," Kimiko replied. "Well, «春画» (shunga) — erotic art — shows that. It also shows two men together, like Robby and Lee, also. Before the Meiji era, that was accepted as normal amongst certain groups, such as «歌舞伎» (kabuki) actors."

I chuckled, "It's always the thespians!"

"What?" Kimiko asked.

"Here in the US, people who are in drama or music departments tend to be more free with their sexuality. I'm sorry I interrupted."

"It's OK. There is a writer, «吉屋信子» (Nobuko Yoshiya), who wrote stories about girls who loved each other. One is called «花物語» (Hana monogatari), which in English would be Flower Stories. It's a collection of short stories about romantic friendships, mostly girls. Then there is «屋根裏の二處女» (Yaneura no nishojo), which would be 'Two Virgins in the Attic', and is about a love affair between two girls. She was very careful, though, to not say they had sex. It was implied. I have read both of those books. The first one was very popular with girls in my school."

"I think parents here would lose their minds!" Clarissa replied. "Mine certainly did."

"There is an entire genre of Japanese literature called «クラスS» (Kurasu Esu), or 'Class S' which is about schoolgirls who have very, very close emotional ties, but once they graduate from school, they marry men. That is how Flower Stories would be classified. But I think that was just a way to keep people from, as you say, 'losing their minds'. Japan changed, but slowly, it's changing back."

"I once saw a copy of the book Fanny Hill," Clarissa said. "It has all kinds of very explicit etchings in it. I mean, to the point of showing penetration."

"So like the «春画» (shunga), then," Kimiko said.