Chapter 35: Nothing I Could Do About It

October 14, 1983, McKinley, Ohio

"I'm worried about Angie," I said as Clarissa, Melody, and I made our way back to the dorm from the Chancellor's office.

"I know you told the detective that you have no idea where she might be, but do you have ANY thoughts?" Melody asked.

I shook my head, "If she wasn't with her friend and she wasn't at church, and her counselor hadn't heard from her, then no, honestly, I have no idea. I mean, she could have gone home, but I'm sure someone called there to check."

"Do you think she might hurt herself?"

"I have no clue," I sighed. "She didn't LAST time, but, and I'm saying this privately to you two only, she was treated for clinical depression and is at least mildly neurotic."

"Mildly?" Melody said, shaking her head. "Full-on. Think about her behavior with you and what she said to her friend. And how her counselor responded to you when you told her."

"I think Melody is right," Clarissa said. "Remember Doctor Herbers' lecture about the 'Big Five' and how he described neurotic traits? We just had a quiz on that."

I nodded, "People with neurotic tendencies tend to be self-conscious and shy and are likely to interpret ordinary situations as threatening and to think minor frustrations are hopelessly difficult. And they react strongly to stressors; I'm Angie's. Well, me and the girls I spend time with."

"Right, and they are prone to anxiety, fear, anger, frustration, and jealousy. And are often depressed and tend towards loneliness."

"Her clinical depression," I replied. "Which is what worries me."

"Because of Jocelyn?"

"Yes. In her case, she's not neurotic, well, not in the sense of a long-term mental disorder. Everything that happened and my wonderful behavior made her neurotic. But I think, finally, she's come out of it. I'll know more when I see her at Thanksgiving."

"Right," Melody said, shaking her head, "because an eighteen-year-old guy is SO well-equipped to deal with the kind of shit that went down following her accident! Hell, I suspect most thirty-year-old guys aren't equipped to deal with it. And, from a female perspective, I'm not sure anyone in our age group is emotionally ready to accept that they could never, ever have kids. Granted, we're all trying our best to get laid as much as we can without having kids, but that's a temporary thing. I'm not sure how well I'd react to that, especially if, at age eighteen, I had to tell my soulmate and putative fiancé I couldn't have kids!"

"I could have done better," I replied.

"We all could. Look, Mike, I get that you feel responsible, but you also need to consider the circumstances. If Jocelyn has been able to come to terms with it, you'll make things worse if YOU haven't come to terms with it. Just be there for her. You two came through a shitstorm, and you're both alive and, at least from my perspective, you're pretty well adjusted. And you seem to think Jocelyn is at least moving in that direction."

"True."

"Then put it behind you and move on. If you don't, YOU could end up like Angie."

"«Говно» (gavno)," I sighed.

"'Shit'," Clarissa translated.

"Thanks!" Melody laughed. "I feel like I need one of those 'universal translators' from Star Trek."

"Mike, you do need to perk up a bit," Clarissa said. "You have your first date with Kimiko. She'll understand if you're a bit preoccupied, but being down in the dumps isn't a good way to begin your first date."

"I know some girls who would be VERY happy to cheer him up," Melody laughed. "And given what just happened, reward him for his service to the student body with student bodies!"

Clarissa and I both laughed.

"Well, Petrovich does have his moments when he's quite the pig, so maybe an all-out orgy is something he'd go for!"

I chuckled, "And if I know you, you'd invite Robby and Lee!"

"Take a walk on the wild side!" Melody laughed.

"Thanks, no. I like those guys a lot, but not THAT much!"

"You're preaching to the choir there," Melody agreed. "No offense, Clarissa."

"None taken. I promise not to try to steal your boyfriends if you promise not to try to steal my girlfriend!"

"Deal!" Melody exclaimed.

We arrived back at the dorm, and I had just enough time to shower and change for my date with Kimiko. I wasn't completely in the mood, given the situation with Angie, but I did my best to compartmentalize it so that it wouldn't interfere with my date.

"Are you OK?" Kimiko asked.

I nodded, "Yes. The police just wanted as much information as I could give them about this morning."

"There's still no sign?"

"No. But they're looking for her, and so are the Sheriff's Department and the State Highway Patrol. They called her parents, her friends, and her doctors."

"Do you want to cancel our date?"

I shook my head, "No. I've been looking forward to this all week."

"Me, too!"

She slipped her hand in mine, and we walked towards the elevator. Less than five minutes later, we were on our way towards Columbus. I'd done a rough calculation of the cost of dinner and the movie, and I'd need to be very careful with my spending for the next month to get back on budget. I didn't think Kimiko would be bothered by spending time together, and there were a number of relatively inexpensive or no-cost things we could do in McKinley.

"I hope this restaurant is up to your standards," I said.

"What kind of tables do they have?" she asked.

"Normal ones and low ones. Why?"

"One moment. And the waitresses? How do they dress?"

"Kimonos, if I remember correctly. The same for the hostess."

"And the menu, it is in Japanese, with English underneath, or the other way around."

"Japanese first, with English in italics beneath it."

"Then I think it will be just fine! Whoever owns the restaurant is trying to be as Japanese as possible while allowing for American customs."

"Just from that?"

Kimiko nodded, "We've been to Japanese restaurants in San Francisco, Los Angeles, and Seattle, and the authentic ones seem to do it the way you described. Are you OK with sitting on «座椅子» (zaisu)?"

"The low chairs?"

"Yes, «座布団» (zabuton) are the cushions, but if they have a back, then they are «座椅子» (zaisu)."

"Some had backs, but Katy and I sat on cushions."

"What about the sushi?"

"It was the first time I'd ever had it, so I have nothing to compare to. But it was good. And I'm OK with any kind of fish tonight."

"You're sure? You could have vegetarian sushi."

"I'm sure. Fish is fine."

"How do your dietary rules work?"

"It's about self-discipline, and it's a personal thing. But, in a marriage, the family rule would be created to serve both the husband and the wife. So, while we're dating, I can make some accommodations. It's not as if we're having steak! Fish is considered acceptable, and in fact, on certain days when we fast, fish is permitted even under the strictest rules."

"But wouldn't the wife follow her husband's practices in his home?"

"Traditionally? Probably so. But not in modern times. Marriage is an equal partnership."

"But someone has to be in charge."

I chuckled, "And you already told me who that would be!"

Kimiko laughed softly, "I did tell you that secret! May I ask something which might seem forward?"

"Sure."

"If I understand how medical training works here, you would not be able to support a wife for quite some time."

"That's true. And there really isn't much I can do about that. It's why I joked about the bikini model heiress. The other option, obviously, would be for my wife to work, but that creates problems for starting a family."

"In six years, I would only be twenty-four. And I prefer only one child, though two might be OK, so I don't see how that would present a problem. I wouldn't want to have a child immediately after I married."

"One or two?"

"That's normal in Japan. You want more?"

"I hadn't really thought about it much more than a desire to have children. But that's something to discuss in the future."

"Yes, of course. I was just curious about the situation."

"And you know how much time I'll have to study and then how much I'll have to work?"

"It's not uncommon, in the big cities, for salarymen to sleep near the office rather than come home. Japanese wives are more accepting of that situation, I think."

"Interesting."

"The culture is very different, as we've discussed, and I think you'll find I'm very different from your American girls."

"That's for sure!" I agreed. "And I mean that in a good way."

"May I ask why?"

"Because while it presents unique challenges, it's intriguing. And I'm learning about Japan as well."

"Perhaps you'll visit someday."

"Perhaps."

We had a very nice meal, and Kimiko explained quite a bit about Japanese etiquette. I learned much more than I had when I visited the restaurant with Katy. I paid the bill, left a reasonable tip, and then we headed back to McKinley, where we parked on campus, then walked to the movie theatre for the 9:00pm showing of Never Say Never Again.

Although I was a big Sean Connery fan, the movie left me nonplused. It was a remake of Thunderball, and as such, was unoriginal. That said, I enjoyed it despite not being thrilled by it. When we left the theatre, we headed back to the dorm, where I checked with Angie's roommate to see if she'd returned, which she hadn't.

Kimiko and I went to my room to listen to music. To make her happy, I put on Lost in Love by Air Supply, and we sat cuddled close on the couch. I had the distinct impression that if I asked her to stay, she would, but given the events of the day and the fact I had to be up early in the morning to go to the lab, I didn't feel it was right. There were probably other reasons that it wasn't right, but those were sufficient to make my decision simple, so I didn't worry about other considerations.

We exchanged occasional soft kisses while listening to the first side of the album, and when that finished, I flipped the album to the 'B' side and sat back down so we could cuddle and occasionally kiss. When the album finished, I stood and took Kimiko in my arms so we could exchange our usual three soft kisses.

"Thank you for taking me on a date," she said.

"You're welcome. Thank you for accepting a date. See you in the morning for breakfast and studying?"

"If that's what you wish."

"I think, given what happened today, it's best."

She smiled, kissed me, and left my room. I did my evening prayers, then climbed into bed and tossed and turned, thinking about Angie and Kimiko, until I finally fell asleep.

October 15, 1983, McKinley, Ohio

On Saturday after lunch, Clarissa and I were relaxing in my room, drinking tea, when Melody, Jeannette, and Marie burst into the room through the open door.

"She resigned!" Melody exclaimed. "I just received a call from the Student Government President who said Dean Parker resigned and that Dean Anderson is taking over responsibility for the dorms!"

"Do you really believe it'll be that easy?" I asked.

"What can she do, Mike? She opened the university to potentially serious damages. That said, if she DOES somehow keep her job, you won't have to worry about paying for medical school!"

I chuckled, "Now, THERE is a thought. I'm not too proud to be bought!"

"You know, you COULD approach her through an attorney and make a deal that let her rescind her resignation," Melody said.

"No. I'd rather be in debt and have her gone than look over my shoulder for the next eighteen months and saddle our younger friends with her for even longer. Besides, I haven't seen the three of you so excited, well, ever!"

"We thought about rewarding you," Marie said, winking and then licking her lips.

I chuckled, "I'm sure it would be a lot of fun, and it's tempting, but I have to pass."

"If you change your mind, there are three of us!" Jeannette added with a smirk.

"Hmm..."

"See what you've done?" Clarissa groused good-naturedly. "You've summoned the pig!"

"Good!" Marie exclaimed. "He'll be MUCH more fun that way!"

"Gee, thanks," I deadpanned.

Jeannette laughed, "If we define 'fun' as 'wild and crazy sex', your usual personality isn't going to cut it!"

"I think there might be other definitions of 'fun'," I replied.

"We're in college! Sex, booze, and rock-and-roll DEFINE fun!" Melody declared.

"On the plus side," I grinned, "we should be back to being able to have booze again without incurring the wrath of Dean Parker. Over the Summer, Dean Anderson was MUCH more tolerant in the way she dealt with it. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me to see the rules changed so that anyone who is twenty-one could drink."

"It's funny," Melody said, "but that is ONE area where the state could actually limit our rights. The Amendment, which repealed prohibition, specifically gave states the right to set their own laws about alcohol, and it would technically be a federal crime to bring alcohol into a 'dry' city or county. The Supreme Court ruled that you don't have general 'equal protection' claims because the Amendment specifically says the states are permitted to legislate in any way they see fit. An interesting point on that is that Kansas still prohibits public bars even today."

"If you show me a 'dry' college campus, I'll show you the hidden booze!" Jeannette laughed. "And I bet you anything there is sex at Christian colleges which prohibit it!"

"No bet!" Melody said. "I read a statistic that girls from conservative churches are equally likely to get pregnant as girls who don't go to church and that the difference in average ages for losing their virginity is only a few months older for girls in those churches."

"And that's self-reported data, right?" I asked.

Melody laughed, "I hadn't thought about it that way! That means it's probably identical!"

"Hormones do NOT listen to the Scriptures!" I grinned. "Trust me. I know!"

"You acquitted yourself well, Mr. Loucks," Melody teased. "Bible or no Bible!"

"Thanks, I think," I replied flatly.

"Oh, stop it!" Melody said with a soft laugh. "You know I had no complaints other than having to expend WAY too much energy to actually get you into bed!"

"His piggish tendencies aside," Clarissa said, "he does consider carefully whether he should do it or not."

"TELL me about it!" Marie groused. "But seriously, I do respect that. He's no prude; he's just a bit more conservative than we are on the topic."

"Back to our not-so-favorite subject," I said. "What do you think Dean Parker will do?"

"I suspect it depends on how they handle the resignation. I would guess, in order to stay out of trouble, they'll call it 'personal' reasons or 'family' reasons. Giving the actual reason could land the university in trouble."

"What if she decides to make public statements?" I asked.

"Well, once she's a private citizen, I THINK she could say anything she wanted, so long as it was true."

"So maybe this wasn't a good idea."

"It's easy enough to counter, Mike," Melody said. "You simply refer anyone to Family Services who has to deny there was even an allegation because the psychiatrists or psychologists withdrew and repudiated their findings. She can't really hurt you. And if she says you DID something as opposed to saying there were allegations, then she's defaming you, and you'd beat her in court, and if she has any money at all, you'd win damages."

"So much for staying out of the public eye," I sighed.

"She'd be really stupid to come after you," Melody replied. "She might go after the school, but coming after you would be FAR too risky. As much as I think she's a bitch, a prude, and a moron, she's not THAT stupid."

"Mike!" Teri exclaimed as she came into the room. "Stand up!"

I looked at Clarissa, who shrugged, so I stood up. Teri wrapped her arms around me and gave me a kiss so fierce I thought she might throw me onto the floor and have her way with me right there in front of the other girls. Of course, I didn't actually fight the kiss, and rather enjoyed it, as well as the full-body contact from the hug.

"I take it you heard the news," I said, trying to catch my breath.

"Everyone on the floor has by now! It's spreading like wildfire! How did you do it?"

"Unfortunately, THAT I can't share with you."

"Well, whatever! Name your prize!"

I squeezed my arms, pulling her tightly against me, enjoying the feel of her firm breasts against my chest, "A bottle of rum will do."

"You're sure?" she smirked, rubbing her jean-clad crotch against my thigh.

"I'm sure."

"What time do you get back from church?"

"Between 7:00pm and 7:30pm, depending. Why?"

"Let's have a celebration!"

"Just not too crazy," I replied. "Dean Anderson does have to take notice of obvious stuff."

"Just people in this room plus Robby, Lee, Sophia, Sandy, José, Rebekah, and your cute Japanese friend."

"She doesn't drink," I replied.

"But she's not bothered if others do, right?"

"No."

"Cool. See you after church!"

She, Jeannette, Marie, and Melody all left, leaving just me and Clarissa together again.

"You do realize you could have the time of your life tonight, right?" Clarissa smirked.

"Lissa, the 'time of my life' will be if you and I make love. Period."

"You are a certified nut, you know that?"

"But I'm YOUR certified nut, and that's what matters."

"You would seriously pass up a night with Teri, Melody, Jeannette, and Marie for me?"