Chapter 29: All Grown Up

September 24, 1983, McKinley, Ohio

On Saturday morning, I was up at 4:30am, quickly showered, dressed, and left Sophia in my bed while I went to the lab to take down the readings and complete the checklists. I was back at about 6:10am, and Sophia was still sleeping. I changed into my running clothes and headed back outside.

As I ran, I thought about my conversation with Sophia the previous evening. I didn't have an easy answer for Angie any more than I'd had one for Jocelyn, and I was carefully traversing that minefield now. Did I want to try again with Angie? There was certainly no other girl standing in the way of Angie, or anyone else for that matter.

I couldn't even talk with Maggie unless I could somehow sneak to see her, which was fraught with all kinds of problems. Tasha and I were going to have regular Sunday afternoon lovemaking sessions at the Blahniks' house, courtesy of Milena and her mom, but neither Tasha nor I believed it was likely we would be together as husband and wife in the future.

I'd expressed interest to Kimiko, but all that meant was things would continue as they had, with the idea that at some point, I might tell her that I REALLY liked her, at which point, she'd have to make a real decision. And that created its own set of challenges because of our disparate faiths and traditions. There might be some commonality, but I wasn't sure it was nearly enough.

That left me with no real options other than waiting on the girls at church to graduate High School, trying to meet someone at Taft, or, the longshot of longshots, Clarissa. Sophia and I teased each other, and I wondered if she was right about marrying a doctor, which was something Clarissa and I would have to carefully consider among all the other concerns.

The weirdest thing of all was that I was actually OK with the all-around situation. Sure, I was unhappy I couldn't see Maggie, and I had a lot of work to do to restore my friendship with Jocelyn, but all in all, things were very good. And regular sex with Tasha was certainly far and away the best, even if it was only once a week or once every two weeks.

I didn't have an answer to the question that I'd told Sophia I needed to sleep on, but I kept coming back to one important point — if we were all adults, we all had to take responsibility for our decisions, our actions, and our reactions. And that said, I should at least give Angie a chance. What kind of chance, I had no idea, and that was something I'd need to think through.

When I finished my run, Sophia was STILL sleeping, so I stripped off my clothes and got into the shower.

"Want some company?" she asked coyly, standing a few feet away from the shower.

"If you want to squeeze in and be THAT close!" I chuckled. "They didn't design these for the comfort of two!"

"So, no screwing in the shower?"

"I'm game if you are!" I teased.

"Tempting..." she smirked. "But I'm going to go shower and dress. See you at breakfast!"

"Your loss!"

She laughed and left my room. I finished my shower, dried off, and dressed. I had about thirty minutes before it was time to meet everyone for breakfast, so I pulled out my statistics book and began working on the problems which had been assigned on Friday. I started the first problem and encountered an immediate issue — my calculator batteries were dead. I opened the drawer, pulled out a new set, and swapped them. That problem was resolved, and I finished about half the problems before it was time to go to breakfast.

After breakfast, Kimiko came to my room for our Saturday morning session. We reviewed her notes for her classes, and I checked her homework and lab reports. She was a good student, and caught on well, but had the same fears of not making straight A's that I had. Mine had been because of medical school; hers was because her parents would accept nothing less.

"I think you're doing well," I said. "I'm confident you'll have your straight A's."

"You won't keep helping me?"

"Sorry, that's not what I meant or meant to imply. I was praising you!"

Kimiko smiled, nodding slightly, "Thank you. And I'm sorry."

"It's OK. Perhaps it's a cultural misunderstanding."

"My English is good, isn't it?"

"Very, but aren't there times when something is said and it doesn't mean what you thought it meant?"

"You mean like when people say 'bad' when they mean 'very good'?"

"Exactly. Or perhaps sarcasm, when tone of voice tells you someone means the opposite of what they say?"

"Jokes are difficult too, especially if they are what you call a 'play on words'."

"I'm sure I'd have a MUCH harder time with Japanese! I couldn't even begin to read the characters!"

"We have two ways to write Japanese with Western characters."

I smiled, "You mean Latin? Because Greek and Russian characters are different."

"Yes, of course. I didn't mean any offense."

"None was taken. I was simply pointing out that there are differences. I assume Chinese and Korean characters are different?"

"Yes. For Chinese, perhaps it's similar to how Russian and Latin characters are different. There are some similarities. But it's more complex, in some ways, because we have three separate sets of characters: hiragana and katakana, which represent syllables, and Kanji, which are words and are derived from Chinese characters. Korean uses Hangul, which is phonetic, like the Russian alphabet. In Japan, we use all three sets of characters when writing."

"So you have to memorize all the words, right?"

"Yes, but if you think about it, so do you. You memorize how to spell nearly every word. You don't try to sound it out in your head when you read or write, do you?"

I chuckled, "I never thought about it that way! Phonics lets you learn new words by sounding them out, but you're right about words I know."

Kimiko laughed, "You actually think phonics lets you sound out words? Or spell them if you hear them? There are so many exceptions that there shouldn't be any rules!"

"What are you talking about?"

"The memory trick — 'i' before 'e', except after 'c', or when sounded as 'a' as in 'neighbor' and 'weigh'."

"OK."

"But there are words like conscience, science, species, seize, vein, foreign, and feisty!"

"Yes, you are!" I grinned.

Kimiko laughed and nodded, "But you see the point? The rule has so many exceptions it shouldn't be a rule!"

"Maybe the rule is wrong, or only applies for specific sounds."

"And yet you knew it, right?"

"Yes."

"Do you know in Japanese, every word ends either in a vowel or 'n'?"

"No. Do you know anything about Russian?"

"Unlike English, you decline the subject and object of a sentence. And it has a gender, also unlike English."

"True, but it has only three tenses — past, present, and future, but they also have aspects to show, for example, a one-way or round-trip journey."

"Do you speak fluent Russian?"

"No. I learned as a child, but mostly only spoke with my grandparents and at church. I used to say I spoke like a retarded six-year-old child, and there's probably some truth to that. If I concentrate, I can do a decent job, but I don't use it often enough to be good at it."

"You don't think it's important?"

"I suppose the best way to answer that is that is to relate it to church. We keep the old traditions, going back to the earliest days, but we use the language of the people who worship in a particular church. We used a lot of Russian or Church Slavonic when I was little, but now we mostly use English. Most of my friends don't speak more than a few words of Russian, mostly because we don't live in Russia."

"But isn't your heritage and culture important?"

I nodded, "Yes, of course, but honestly, I live in America, I was born here, and I'm an American. I don't mean that in a 'wave the flag' or 'my country right or wrong' way, just that if I was born in Russia, I'd speak Russian; if I was born in France, I'd speak French; and so on. That said, I don't object to anyone speaking whatever language they want, but the common language here is English, so that's what I use. Just as we are now."

"Church is very important to you, isn't it?"

"Yes. It informs my view of the world, just as I'm sure your faith does."

"Informs?" Kimiko asked with a curious look.

"Yes. My Orthodox faith informs, that is, gives form to my worldview, but it doesn't control it. If you think about it, that's how you live here — your Japanese culture, including your faith, informs how you behave but doesn't control it. Perhaps the best example for me is that nothing about my faith would ever cause me to reject scientific inquiry, and nothing about science could harm my faith. I'm an Orthodox Christian living in the real world. For you, you live mostly like a Westerner here at school — no offense intended — but your core values are Japanese."

"That's true, of course. May I ask you something?"

"Yes."

"You see so many differences between us, but you said «好き» (suki) to me. Why?"

"Because I like you and enjoy your company. I got the impression you liked me, too. I want to spend time getting to know you. That's why I told you I like you."

"But you said it in Japanese, which has a deeper meaning. It means you want to have a relationship. How would that work?"

"One day at a time," I said with a gentle smile. "Like any other relationship. I suppose it would have to be a mix of American and Japanese traditions. Is that something you're OK with?"

"I did that with my friends in High School in Columbus for two years, so yes, I think so."

"Then I want to see what's possible."

"Me, too," she said happily. "My parents like you."

"And I liked them, too."

"Do you want to take me on a date?"

"I want to treat you respectfully," I said. "And respect your parents as well as respect your traditions."

"But in an American culture."

"Sure, but I can respect your traditions, just as you respect mine, and we find a middle way. After all, if I insisted on doing things the American way and only the American way, would you be happy?"

"No."

"So, if I like you and want to get to know you better, what should we do?"

Kimiko laughed, "Exactly what we're doing!"

September 25, 1983, McKinley, Ohio

"You know what I want!" Tasha laughed as we went into the guest bedroom at Doctor Blahnik's house.

"So that's how this is going to be? You show up, we fool around, and you go home?"

"Is something wrong, Mishka?" she asked, turning to face me.

"No, I was teasing you."

"It didn't sound like you were teasing, at least not fully."

"I suppose it's just strange, after all the time we've spent together, that it's come down to just this."

Tasha put her hands on her hips, "So, Mikhail Petrovich, you got what you wanted, and now you're done with me?"

"That's not what I'm saying!" I protested. "And I would say YOU got what YOU wanted!"

"You wanted it just as much as I did! Do you deny that?"

"No. But I was willing to wait. Tasha, I like spending time with you and doing things together. I want to make love with you, but if that's ALL we do, then I think our future course is already determined."

"Wasn't it determined BEFORE you entered me the first time? You knew we wouldn't marry, and yet you penetrated me, making me a woman. Be honest, Mikhail Petrovich, have you seriously thought we'd marry at any point in the last year? I mean, BEFORE we made love?"

I took a deep breath and let it out.

"No, I guess not."

"So you knew, and yet you did it. Why, then, if it wasn't 'just for this'?"

"You don't think there's a possibility?"

"YOU don't! Or you didn't before we did it. Do you feel obligated now? Because if you do, forget it! I told you I wouldn't say 'yes' if you were asking out of some foolish feeling that fucking somehow implies we have to marry! If it did, I would have demanded a promise from you beforehand and a betrothal ceremony. DID you really grow up, or are you still having your foolish fantasies?"

This was a side of Tasha I had never seen, not even the weekend before. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that wasn't true. This WAS how Tasha was, but I had seen her through what amounted to 'rose-colored glasses'. That what she was saying surprised me was really shame on me, because she had always been determined to get what she wanted. All that had changed was discarding the teenage crush or fantasy or whatever. Tasha had become a woman, and I'd missed it. The previous weekend had been her declaration to me, and insofar as she might share it, to the entire universe, that she WAS a woman in every possible way.

"Do you remember when I said that my reactions come naturally, or probably better to say from habit and experience?" I asked. "I think that's the problem. I KNOW you're a woman, and not just because of what happened last weekend. It's my mistake, Tasha, and I promise to do better to see you for who you ARE, not who I thought you were. I'm sorry."

Tasha's face softened, and her hands dropped from her hips.

"Then there is only one thing to do."

"What's that?"

"For you to take off my clothes and fuck me until I'm unconscious!"

I smiled, nodded, and did exactly as she had asked. Our long, hard, almost violent coupling left us both semi-conscious, sweaty, and gasping for breath. After just enough rest for our breathing to return to normal, Tasha gave me a very loving, sexy blowjob, then I pleasured her orally, and we concluded with gentle lovemaking. We took a warm bath where I fingered her to orgasm, and she gently rode me to mutual pleasure. From there, we went to the shower, where we screwed, standing up for the first time, with Tasha leaning against the shower wall.

"Did you want to get dinner?" I asked as we dried off after the shower.

"Dad expects me for dinner tonight," she said. "And obviously, I don't want to give him any reason to suspect! Next weekend, I'll stay for dinner."

"I'm curious about what you plan when you have your time of the month."

Tasha laughed softly, "I hadn't thought about that. It will be VERY messy. Perhaps that's the week I spend with my parents to keep my dad from worrying we're spending too much time alone."

"What's going to happen when he realizes that we aren't going to marry?"

"To me?" she smirked. "Nothing. I wouldn't want to be YOU!"

"Wonderful," I sighed.

"It's up to me to tell him, and I'll tell him the truth — that I don't believe we should marry. He'll ask if I mean never, and I'll say that's something to decide in the future. I'll get my job as a pharmacy technician and take some classes at the Junior College. He won't be TOO upset, but I'm sure he'll talk to you. Just say the same thing — we decided we aren't ready to marry, and we'll decide in the future if we are. And you have a legitimate answer for him — medical school. You might end up in California or Georgia, after all."

"True. I wouldn't bet on that, but it's certainly possible."

"And, of course, your inability to support a wife and family, especially during your last two years of medical school. Yes, we both know I could work and make sufficient money for us to live, but having a baby would be difficult if that were the case; not impossible, but difficult."

"All of that is true."

"Then that's what you say to my dad. My mom will figure it out much quicker."

"And?"

"I'm an adult, and she'll allow me to be an adult. You know my dad!"

"I do."

We dressed, changed the sheets, put them in the washer, thanked Doctor Blahnik, and then I walked Tasha out to her silver Volvo.

"She's very nice to let us use her house!" Tasha said. "It's much nicer than your dorm!"

"I'm probably going to be living here during medical school if I stay in McKinley. She offered and I think it's a very good idea. It'll be much more comfortable than a medical school dorm and much cheaper than an apartment."

"And if you do get married? Then what?"

"I'll worry about that if and when it happens," I replied.

"Is Milena getting married soon?"

"Joel received a job offer which he plans to accept, so I'd say once he moves here and gets settled, they'll set a date. I'm sure they'll move out, which means there will be a free bedroom with a private bathroom upstairs in addition to the guest room."

"I think you'll be much happier here. Now, kiss me so I can get home on time!"

We exchanged a soft kiss, and she got into her car and drove off. As soon as she was out of sight, I headed back towards campus, where I joined the gang for dinner. After dinner, Clarissa joined me in my room.

"You seemed a bit distracted at dinner," she observed.

"I was just thinking about everything that's happened over the past few weeks and the conversations I've had — with you, with Tasha, with Sophia, and with Kimiko. Things have changed so radically that I feel as if I have one foot in the past and one foot in the future and that if I'm not careful, I'll fall into the rift I'm straddling."

"Join the club!" Clarissa replied. "That's what growing up is about. We're all legal adults, and we all have adult responsibilities, but even now, in our Junior year, we STILL think like High School kids at times. For us, the REAL change is at least six years away, if not more. We have another year of college after this one, then four years of medical school, then our Internship year. Heck, we'll still be students nearly ten years from now!