Chapter 12: Conflagration

July 5, 1983, McKinley, Ohio

As I showered after karate, I wondered exactly what Angie had meant when she said that she'd changed and what that meant for the future. Angie had told me that her counselor had advised against starting a relationship, so perhaps this was just Angie's way of telling me that what Clarissa had suggested might be true — that Angie was playing the 'long game', and this was simply the next step. That made more sense than anything, but it also meant I needed to be extremely careful that I wasn't improperly leading her on.

The thing that continued to bother me was that I had no idea how I could ever be sure Angie was past whatever her problems were, or if not past them, at least in a place where she had dealt with them sufficiently to have a proper relationship. She'd been diagnosed with depression, and a tendency towards neuroticism, and I didn't know enough about either of those to make any firm judgments.

Fundamentally, the only thing I could do was wait and see, which was true of any of the girls I was interested in or who were interested in me. In the meantime, I'd spend time with my friends, including Milena, and simply see how things developed. There really wasn't any other way forward except 'wait and see'. And at this point in my life, given everything that was going on, that was absolutely the best approach in my mind.

I got out of the shower, dried off, put on shorts and a T-shirt, turned on the radio, then stretched out on the couch to relax a bit before dinner. About thirty minutes later, the door opened, and Angie stuck her head in to say it was time to head to the cafeteria. I got up, turned off the radio, and we headed to dinner.

After dinner, Angie went to do homework, and I went back to my room. I pulled out my guitar to practice and sat down on the couch. I had barely settled in when there was a knock at the door. I put down the guitar, got up, walked over to the door, and opened it.

"Hi!" Deb exclaimed.

"Hey! What's up?"

"About that favor..." she said sexily.

I laughed, "I don't recall offering a specific way of returning it."

"You're right! You asked for a favor, and I get to ask for one in return!"

I nodded, "You do."

"I WILL take that, but I don't think you'd agree, so instead, I'll ask for a ride. I need to drop my car at the dealer tonight and get it back tomorrow afternoon. If you follow me over and give me a ride back, then take me over tomorrow, we'll call it even."

"Letting me off the hook that easily?" I grinned.

"Milena said things had changed, and I'm not going to be 'that girl' about it."

"I appreciate it."

"That said, I won't turn it down! But I'd still need the rides."

"Which would be two favors," I replied with a grin. "Let's go drop off your car."

The drive to the Ford dealer on the other side of town took about fifteen minutes, and after Deb had put her keys in an envelope and dropped them through the slot on the door, she got into my Mustang for the drive back to campus.

"Thanks. What time do you get off work tomorrow?"

"3:00pm, same as every day."

"Cool. The car should be done by the time you get off work; it's just brakes. I'll call to check if they haven't called."

"Sounds good."

"Any plans for tonight?"

"I hadn't made any."

"If you want company, I'm not doing anything. And I don't mean 'company'."

I laughed, "You don't have to qualify your statements. I know how to say 'no' if I think you're crossing any lines I don't want you to cross. And you're always welcome to hang out with me."

"I'll take you up on that."

When we arrived back on campus, we went to my room, and I got two bottles of pop from the fridge, put Synchronicity on the turntable, and then plopped down on the couch next to Deb.

"Did you know Milena is trying to locate Joel?"

"No! How?"

"She called someplace in Cincinnati that does security services and locates missing people."

"She didn't say anything about it to me. Are you sure you should have told me?"

"She won't be upset that I told you. You helped her figure out what was missing in her life, and that's a good thing."

"What's missing in YOUR life?" I asked.

"Are you offering the same kind of assistance you did for Milena?" Deb asked with a silly smile.

"Sure. LOTS of talking. That's what did it. Sex is actually kind of incidental to very intimate conversations. I learned a very important lesson from everything that happened."

"That threesomes aren't your thing?" Deb laughed.

"Among other things," I agreed with a grin. "I don't regret it, but it's not something I'll repeat."

"I'd say after actually getting to know you, that doesn't surprise me."

"So, what's missing from your life?"

"Right now? I don't think there's anything. I didn't have a guy like Joel, and I'm having fun. Eventually, I'll find the right guy and settle down. I'm not in a rush."

"As long as you're happy. Milena wasn't."

"Until you worked your magic. I mean emotional and mental magic, not the other kind!"

"It wasn't THAT bad, was it?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No, of course not! You're not wild, and you'll probably never be wild, but that doesn't mean it wasn't enjoyable."

There was a knock on the door, and the knob turned, and Milena came into the room.

"Am I interrupting?"

"Not at all," Deb said. "We're just talking. Mike gave me a ride to drop my car at the dealership, and I asked him to hang out."

"Come sit with us," I said.

Milena came to the couch and sat between Deb and me, then snuggled close. Deb laughed softly and moved to the loveseat.

"I could leave if you want," she said.

"Stay as long as you like," Milena replied, snuggling even closer and sighing deeply.

"How was your day, Milena?" Deb asked.

"Other than wanting to strangle two of my piano students? OK."

"The twins?" Deb inquired.

"Yes," Milena replied. "Mike, they're totally undisciplined, and Mommy and Daddy think they walk on water and are the greatest gift to music since Vladimir Horowitz. Even after a year, I think with a lesson or two, you'd play better!"

"Why keep it up?" I asked.

"Because I think they actually have some talent if they can learn a bit of discipline."

Deb laughed, "Not to mention the fact that their parents pay three times the going rate because they KNOW the little brats are, well, little brats!"

"How old?" I asked.

"They just turned eight," Milena replied. "Girls, by the way. And you'll love this, Mike — their mom and dad are both doctors."

"Trying to warn me about something?" I asked.

"I don't see you ever developing that kind of attitude, but you have to be careful not to let your ego run away with you."

"I take it you know the difference between God and a doctor, right?" I asked.

Milena laughed, "God doesn't think he's a doctor! Stay down to earth and don't turn into a stuck-up society asshole like the twins' parents."

"They live in McKinley and are 'society'? I didn't know this town HAD a society!"

"You didn't notice the houses in our neighborhood? Ours is one of the smaller ones. And even though McKinley isn't the size of Cincinnati, Columbus, or Cleveland, all it takes is a few people to think they're big fish in the small pond. Just don't let becoming a doctor go to your head."

"And here I thought people would throw bay leaves as I walked down the sidewalk and bow and kiss my feet as I passed by," I chuckled.

"I can think of WAY better fantasies than that one!" Deb laughed. "I can call Laurie and Jennifer if you want!"

I chuckled, "Thanks, but no. I'm actually enjoying talking to you and Milena and cuddling her."

"You'd rather do that than get wildly fucked by four hot girls who are in their early twenties?"

"He would," Milena interjected. "And I am NOT complaining."

She snuggled closer, letting a soft purr escape that caused a reaction from Deb, who raised her eyebrows and smiled.

"And I stand by my statement," I said with a wink.

"Unbelievable," Deb said in awe. "I would never have believed it."

"Believe it," Milena said with a contented sigh.

"I think I'll leave you two alone," Deb said. "I'll let myself out."

"Good night," I replied.

She got up, came over to the couch, kissed my cheek, and then let herself out.

"Make love to me?" Milena whispered.

I turned, scooped her up, and carried her to the bed. I undressed her and myself, and we made slow, passionate love, then cuddled naked.

"What will you do if you find him?" I asked.

"Deb told you?"

"Yes."

"Call him, I guess. It's been nearly ten years at this point. For all I know, he's married and has kids."

"That's possible, but he could, equally likely, never have gotten over you the way you haven't gotten over him."

"And then Joel and I ride off into the sunset?"

"I'd prefer to keep you as a friend," I said. "But if that's what's best for you..."

"Right now, what's best for me is your love and affection."

"It makes me feel very good to hear you say that."

"I would hope so," she laughed. "You said it was better than wild sex with four willing girls."

"I said that because it's true."

Milena smiled and snuggled close. A few minutes later, we fell asleep, entwined in each other's arms and legs.

July 9, 1983, McKinley, Ohio

"Mishka!" Tasha exclaimed when I greeted her in the lobby of the dorm.

"Hi, Tasha!" I replied, taking her into my arms.

We shared a quick kiss, then left the building hand-in-hand.

"What are we doing today?" she asked.

"Anything you want, with the caveat that I won't break my promise to you!"

"Now you're just being mean!" she laughed.

"Why do you say that? Is it mean to respect you?"

"It's not, but I can't tease you very easily when you say things like that!" she laughed.

"So? What do you want to do?"

"I'm not allowed in your room, correct?"

"Not until your birthday. But even then, we have to be careful."

"Careful? Why?"

I chuckled, "Hormones!"

Tasha laughed softly, "You think we will like it so much we won't be able to stop?"

"You've given that impression, yes!"

"Perhaps," she said, kissing my cheek. "Anyway, I know it's about ninety minutes away, but what about going to King's Island for the day?"

"We could only stay until about 4:00pm because of Vespers."

"Could you skip?"

"If I called Father Nicholas and let him know. I'd need to tell Angie, too, because I give her a ride to church."

"I'm OK if we go now. We could just get donuts or bagels for breakfast and eat on the way. We could leave by 4:000pm."

"Then let's do that," I agreed.

We headed to my car and quickly left the parking lot. We stopped at a bakery on Route 50 at the edge of town and got donuts and coffee, then set out for King's Island.

"Do you ride roller coasters?" I asked.

"Absolutely! We have to ride The Beast, the Screamin' Demon, The Bat, and The Racer!"

"I heard they changed The Racer to run backwards."

"One track. We have to ride backwards!"

I chuckled, "Miss Excitement!"

"I'll show you all the excitement you can handle!" Tasha teased with an impish smile.

She was teasing, and I decided to tease back, just a bit.

"So long as it doesn't commit me to anything..." I grinned.

"In your DREAMS, Mishka!" she laughed. "Even though I VERY much want to do that with you, you know I can only ever do it with the man I marry."

"I know, which is why you made me promise!"

"Of course, if you promise to marry me..." she teased.

"And cross my fingers behind my back?"

"You would never do that!"

"Are you SURE about that? For the chance to get what you keep teasing me about? I mean, if it's as good as you say..."

"Mishka!" she squealed. "Now you're being «некультурный» (nekulturny)!" ("crude")

"Me? YOU started it!"

"I suppose I did, didn't I?"

"Yes! You even made a point about wanting to tease me. Is this your master plan? To tease me until I can't resist and lure me into your trap?"

"Trap?!" she squealed in outrage. "Trap?!"

"Ah, see, now the teasing shoe is on the other foot!"

"You!" she growled.

"Ooh, I like it when you're feisty!" I replied.

"Stop it, Miskha!" she squealed.

"Don't you want to know what it would feel like? To kiss, and then..."

"Stop!" Tasha demanded, interrupting me, but she was laughing. "Perhaps teasing wasn't the best idea!"

"Perhaps not," I chuckled.

We arrived at King's Island just before it opened and spent the morning riding roller coasters and the afternoon on other rides, as well as taking the monorail through the wildlife park. We left just before 4:00pm so we could make it back to McKinley in time for Vespers. After Vespers, Angie, Tasha, and I had dinner, and then Tasha headed back to West Monroe.

July 10, 1983, McKinley, Ohio

Sunday afternoon was a time for phone calls. I called home and talked to Liz and my parents, but nothing much was going on in West Monroe, which didn't surprise me at all. Liz did tell me that Maggie wanted to go out on Friday and that she'd be in McKinley at 4:00pm if that worked for me, which it did. She promised to relay my response to Maggie and call me if anything came up, which meant we'd have to change our plans.

My next call was to Becky. We had a good talk, but I was still at a loss as to how we could get to know each other better. Long-distance charges prevented lengthy, regular calls, and letters didn't allow for actual conversation. And the distance between us was such that even monthly visits were basically out of the question because of school and work. Neither of us was in a position to change schools, and that meant at least three years before we had any chance of solving the 'distance problem' as we called it.

"Sometimes I wonder if I should just drop out and move to McKinley."

"I think any way you slice that, there are too many possible bad outcomes to take the risk."

"Oh, I know," Becky sighed. "I said 'I wonder', not that I was going to do it. It's just that things seem so good when I'm with you, then I come back to Michigan, and it's like any progress we make is lost. And then we see each other again in six months, and the cycle repeats."

"Which is more or less how I see it, too. I've wracked my brain for a solution and haven't found one."

"So what do we do?"

"Keep in touch, see each other when we can, and see what happens. Basically what we've been doing. You know I've been dating, but there is nobody I'd call 'serious' at this point."

"Not Tasha?" Becky asked.

"No. We're just dating. I see other girls from time to time, but honestly, I'm spending more time with my friend Milena this Summer and with Clarissa during the school year than anyone else. And while I can't reliably predict the future, and without making any promises, I honestly don't foresee anything changing in the next year or so."

"You mean not getting engaged?"

"The chances of THAT are vanishingly near zero," I chuckled. "Could it happen? Sure. Do I expect it to? No. And honestly, I'm not looking for that right now."

"I suppose that's the best answer either of us can give. Wait and see. It sucks, but it's all we can do."

We chatted for another five minutes before we said 'goodbye' and hung up. I had the distinct feeling that we were just marking time and that, in the end, there wasn't much chance of us being together unless I waited three years. That was entirely possible, of course, but not likely. For the time being, I simply had to remain focused on things of immediate concern — friends, family, school, and work.

My final call of the day was to Clarissa. Despite having seen her just a week previously, I missed her something fierce. The only other time I'd felt even remotely the same way had been when Jocelyn's family took their Summer vacations, and I didn't see her for a couple of weeks. It was as if there was a part of me that was missing.

"I got a postcard from Glenda," Clarissa said after we'd greeted each other. "She met some kids from the US and Canada, and they all decided to buy some kind of train pass and travel through Europe staying at youth hostels."

"That actually sounds like a lot of fun."

"I would have liked to have gone along, but I guess they made a last-minute decision."

"You would have flown to Europe?"

"I have some money saved that I could have used, and it would have been a great chance to do it now before we get completely consumed by our studies."

"When will she be back?"

"Right before school starts, so I won't see her until sometime in August. How are things with Milena?"

"Pretty good. She decided to try to track down Joel, the guy she was in love with, and, in my opinion, still is."

"It's been a long time, right?"

"Ten years, roughly. She hired some company in Cincinnati to help her find him."

"Then what?"

"I suppose it all depends on his situation. They had something really special, but who knows how he feels at this point? I know how she feels."

"I BET you do," Clarissa teased.

"I'd do what I'm doing for her without the sex."

"But you couldn't, really. Without that, I'm not sure you would have been able to break through her façade and find the true Milena. Want to know something strange?"

"What?"

"If you had taken her up on her offer at any point before that night with her and Deb, it wouldn't have had the same effect."

"I think I have to agree with you," I replied. "But I certainly didn't plan it that way!"

"Actually, in a sense, you did. You pushed her to think about what she was doing, maybe for the first time in ten years."