Chapter 11: Maggie Schumacher

July 4, 1983, McKinley, Ohio

"It's OK to flirt with Maggie when your sister and the girls arrive."

We were in the kitchen packing a picnic basket for a day at Milton Lake with Liz, Maggie, Emmy, and Mindy. Milena, Deb, Blaine, and Royce would join us as well.

"Maggie and I don't really flirt," I replied. "It's more like trying to agree on terms."

"Of surrender?" Clarissa laughed. "Of her virginity?"

I laughed, "Those terms are well-known and agreed — engagement ring, wedding ring, marriage ceremony, and honeymoon — in THAT order! The debate is religion, natch."

"The same as with Becky?"

"No, I think Becky has come to terms with it and could make the leap, so to speak, though I'm not sure. I just feel it's unlikely with Maggie."

"But you like her enough to try?"

"Remember the question about attraction?" I grinned.

"OK, she's hot, and you wanted to fuck her, which is sufficient for you to be initially interested and thus willing to try to get to know her."

"I wouldn't put it quite that coarsely."

"Deny it, Petrovich!"

"You know I can't," I admitted. "I just would have said I was attracted to her in such a way that I wanted to get to know her. You chose to take it to the gutter."

"So, you don't deny it!" she smirked. "And wondering what red pubic hair looks like!"

"Whatever!" I said, throwing up my hands. "But honestly, I don't think she can make that leap."

"But you'll give her the same chance you're giving Becky?"

"I suppose so, yes."

"Does Becky date?"

I shrugged, "I have no idea. I didn't ask, and she didn't tell. And if the position I took in my debate with Janey means anything, that's how it has to be, at least for now."

"Do you care?"

"An interesting question," I replied, nodding my head. "I do, but it's also not something that would create a rift because neither of us has made a commitment. It would be kind of hypocritical for me to hold her to a different standard from the one I hold myself to. You know, 'judge not lest ye be judged', and all that."

"What about Tasha?"

"Different, but only because SHE made it clear she's not dating anyone else and doesn't want to, at least at this point. If she did it without telling me, that would be deception. I did that to her and given her response, I can't imagine her doing it to me."

"But she knows you're dating, right?"

"Yes, of course. I told you her terms — no dating anyone from either church. And I totally get that. Yes, it's a backhanded way of knocking out the competition, but it also prevents exactly the kind of situation I created by dating Janey and, worse, by French-kissing her in public."

"I'm not big on public displays of affection."

"Me neither, but she was about to get out of the car, and I felt it was 'private enough', if you know what I mean."

"And you learned the hard way that wasn't the case."

"I did. But now, too, I have to be even a bit more circumspect because of being a subdeacon."

"Doesn't that put Angie off limits, though?" Clarissa asked.

"Angie put Angie off limits a long time ago. If something changes, and I don't expect it to, despite your comment about the 'long game', then I'll have to make a decision."

"You're having dinner at Katy's house next month. Isn't that a violation?"

"Dinner with Katy and her parents? I don't think so, but now that you mention it, I'll tell Tasha when I see her next weekend, just so there's no misunderstanding."

"You're learning, Petrovich. What about Mindy?"

"What about her?"

"The drift I got was that she's practically ready to rip your clothes off and have sex on the sidewalk!"

I chuckled, "Not quite. But Mindy needs to find a boyfriend. I've purposefully avoided going home for other reasons, so it'll just kind of wither on the vine. Remember, she broke it off because she was dating."

"And came back because she had an itch which needed scratching! Aren't you leading her on by putting it off until you go home when you have no plans to go home?"

"You're a real pain in the butt, Lissa," I sighed.

"Which means you agree I'm right," she said smugly.

"If the opportunity presents itself, I'll talk to her today."

"The cooler is loaded with ice, pop, and beer," Milena announced, coming into the kitchen. "And I have three large picnic blankets, too."

"Cool," I replied. "My sister and her friends are bringing chips, cookies, and coleslaw."

"Royce and Blaine are at the lake and staked out our area, including a grill. They have the charcoal and lighter fluid. Deb and I are ready to head over now."

"We're ready, too," Clarissa said. "Mike's sister and her friends are meeting us at the lake."

"One car, then?" I asked.

"Sure," Milena said. "Mom's car is big enough."

That saved me from walking back to campus to get my Mustang. The three of us, plus Deb, got everything into the car, and Milena tossed me the keys.

"You want me to drive?" I asked.

"Sorry, I forget you're moderately rational and don't mind if a girl drives!"

I laughed, "You haven't ridden with my sister behind the wheel!"

"Siblings are a different story," Deb laughed. "I'd walk before I rode with my brother!"

"Go ahead and drive, Mike. It's cool."

"Do I have to start liking ABBA and Pippi Longstocking?" I asked as we got into the relatively new, dark blue SAAB 900s.

"I sure don't!" Deb laughed. "Maybe they have one or two songs, which are OK, but no thanks!"

"Don't tell my sister," I grinned as I searched for the ignition.

"Center console," Milena offered. "Between the seats."

"Different," I replied, putting the key into the ignition, pressing the clutch, and then starting the car.

"Anything ELSE weird about this car? I mean, besides the very different body style," I asked.

"Heated seats, but given it's going to be 80°F today, I don't think we'll need them."

I carefully backed out of the driveway and then shifted into first gear. I carefully navigated the streets, getting used to the very different handling and response of the first foreign car I'd ever driven. It was only a few miles to the park, and I never got the car above 35MPH, so I wasn't sure what it would be like at speed, but it certainly handled nicely. I also suspected it cost FAR more than my Mustang.

"It's a bit different from my rear-wheel drive Mustang," I said as I pulled into a parking spot. "But I like it."

"Mom has driven a SAAB her entire life, basically," Milena said. "She bought her first used one, a 1950 SAAB 92 when she got her driving license in Czechoslovakia when she turned eighteen."

"That was what? 1953?"

Milena laughed, "Good guess. She turns forty-nine in August. She had me right after she finished her Master's."

"Do you speak Czech?" I asked.

"A bit better than you speak Russian, I think, but I haven't used it in years, not even as a secret code with my mom. Once we defected, Mom decided to become 'American', and from that point, she only spoke English. I was about five the last time I spoke it regularly, but I suspect it would come back if I needed it."

We got out of the car and unloaded everything, carrying the stuff to where Royce and Blaine waited. They'd put lawn chairs at the four corners of the area we'd reserved, and we spread the blankets between them, using the coolers, picnic basket, and charcoal to keep them from moving. Just as we finished, my sister and her friends arrived.

Liz and Emmy hugged me, Mindy gave me a sexy kiss, and Maggie gave me a peck. Clarissa was right about Mindy — I did need to talk to her and bring things formally to an end. Once everyone got settled, I asked her to take a walk with me. I saw Clarissa smile and nod out of the corner of my eye.

"When are you going to come home?" Mindy asked, her voice nearly dripping with desire.

"Probably not before Labor Day," I replied. "And maybe not until Thanksgiving. A lot depends on school, my work schedule, and church."

"That sucks!"

"You should probably find a guy at home to date. I really can't commit to anything. And I know you plan to come to Taft for college, but a year from now, I'll very likely have a steady girlfriend."

"Bummer," Mindy replied. "I really like fooling around with you."

"And I'm with you, but it was just a fling, and if you recall, you broke things off with me."

"For an idiot who decided getting drunk was preferable to getting laid!"

"I think 'idiot' is an understatement!" I grinned.

"You certainly never complained!"

"Do I LOOK like an idiot?" I laughed. "I very much enjoyed fooling around with you, Mindy Ellison!"

"Well, if you DO come home, and I'm not serious with anyone, and you aren't serious with anyone, call me. I'd be happy to have you fuck me senseless!"

I put my arm around her and squeezed. She put her arm around me, pulled me to her, and gave me a searing French kiss, then winked. We turned and walked back to where the rest of our friends were waiting. The consensus was to swim, so everyone stripped off their shorts and T-shirts, and we headed into the lake.

We spent nearly an hour swimming, splashing, and tossing a ball around before heading back to our picnic spot. Some guys came by and asked if anyone was interested in volleyball, and Mindy, Emmy, Liz, Royce, and Blaine all agreed to play. I checked with Clarissa with a silent look and, with her approval, asked Maggie to go for a walk.

"How are you?" I asked.

"Even more confused than before I started reading the book!"

"How much have you read?"

"A few chapters. It's like totally different from anything I've read before."

"What kinds of books do you read?"

"Christian authors, mostly. You know, devotionals and Christian stories. I also listen to Chuck Swindoll, who has a radio ministry called Insight for Living. We also get tapes from Pastor John MacArthur in California, who has a ministry called Grace to You."

"Never heard of either of them," I replied. "I take it those are big names in your denomination?"

"We aren't part of a denomination. All churches are governed by their elder boards, independent of all other churches."

"Oh, right, because THAT is how it was done in the days of the Apostles! I mean, it's not like they wrote letters or traveled around instructing and correcting errors in the churches or anything."

"But there aren't any Apostles left!"

"You're right, and they were told to appoint bishops, the Greek word «ἐπίσκοπος» (epískopos), which means 'overseer', to manage the churches. Does YOUR church follow that?"

"We don't have bishops, just elders."

"But my point is still the idea of an independent church, with no outside supervision and no relationship to other churches, doesn't exist in the Bible! I thought you went to a church that calls itself a 'Bible' church!"

"Faith Bible Church."

"Well, it's not organized along Biblical lines! I thought you guys were into sola scriptura."

"I'm totally confused."

"You've said that."

"What do I do?"

"That's a question you have to answer for yourself. In the end, you have to decide who and what to believe. And decide what it is you want."

"That's it? Just decide what I want, and I can have it?"

I chuckled, "It doesn't QUITE work that way, and that's not what I meant."

"What did you mean?"

"There are several ways to resolve this situation. The first is you just ignore everything I've said, throw away the book, forget about me, and go back to your church."

"I don't want to do that," she interrupted.

"The other solutions are WAY more difficult."

"But I can't forget the things you talked to me about!"

"Then it gets much more complicated. Will your parents allow you to date me?"

"Probably not, because my dad would ask what church you went to, even though you know the Scriptures really well and probably better than some of the pastors at church!"

"I'm not signing up for that fight," I replied. "And you know I'm not going to change churches."

"But you want ME to!"

"If I recall correctly, YOU told me you wanted to go out with me. You had two concerns, one which I said wasn't really a problem and one that was likely insurmountable. The challenge, if you will, is that there are no guarantees about what happens in the future, no matter what choice you personally make. And I'm not sure sneaking around your parents is a good idea, given that you still have to finish High School. Then add in the fact that your dad wants you to go to that college in Michigan to learn to be a pastor's wife, and I'm not sure what you can do."

"You're saying it's impossible?"

"No, I'm saying what I think you want is going to be extremely difficult to achieve, and there is no guarantee of success."

"You sound like you don't care."

I took a deep breath and let it out without sighing.

"When I look at the situation, I see so many possible ways it can go wrong. We barely know each other. What happens if you go down this path and decide I'm not the guy you thought I was? Or I am, but you decide you don't want to marry me? Or I decide we're not right for each other?"

"You think it's a bad idea, don't you?"

"Before I answer, can I ask you something?"

"I guess."

"Why me?"

Maggie smiled, "For one thing, you're not like most guys at church. You don't think a woman's place is in the kitchen and that she should be subservient. You have strong faith, even though it's very different from what I'm used to. And for the most part, you behave like a godly, Christian man."

"I have my weaknesses," I said with a slight smile. "As for thinking it's a bad idea, no, not necessarily. I think it's a very difficult path to walk. You need to count the cost before you attempt it."

"Isn't that true of everything?"

"Yes, of course," I agreed. "But I have a question for you — what do you expect me to do while you attempt to navigate the path? We can't date, and we'll have limited chances to see each other. It's kind of tough to really get to know each other in that situation."

"You don't think I'm worth the effort?" she asked, looking down at the dirt path we were walking.

"That's just it," I said gently. "I don't know the answer to that question and don't know how to find it, given the constraints."

Maggie kept looking down at the path as we walked, and I wasn't really sure what else I could say to her. From what I'd seen, she was a sweet girl and was someone I would like to get to know better, but the obstacles to that were so great that I didn't know if it was possible. If I could take her on dates or even just get together once a week, I might be able to decide if she really was worth pursuing.

And that made me wonder exactly why I'd taken things as far as I had? Was it just that my little sister's tomboy friend had turned into a beautiful young woman, or was there something special or different about her that had caught my attention? That was a question to which I didn't have a good answer. And I wasn't even sure how to proceed in my thinking, let alone in an attempt at a relationship with Maggie if that was what I wanted.

And that led right to the more important question — what DID I want? I actually knew the answer to that, but given what I wanted was likely unattainable, I needed a new answer. What I wanted was a Clarissa who was the same in every way, except for preferring guys to girls. I didn't want a Clarissa who simply tolerated sex, as I felt that would ultimately end in disaster. Barring that seemingly out-of-reach fantasy, I wasn't sure WHAT I wanted.

Well, again, not entirely true — a loving Orthodox Christian wife, children to dote on, and a medical license. The latter two were easy enough to achieve in the sense that I had a clear path to them. It was the first one — a loving Orthodox Christian wife — where I had no idea what I wanted. I was sure Tasha would be a good choice, but was she the BEST choice? My tentative answer, at least for the immediate moment, was that I didn't know, and that was WHY I was playing the field.

Something hit me, though — I had reversed the order of the things I wanted out of life. Several people, mostly young women, had encouraged me to do that, and I'd resisted, at least until that moment when I was walking down the path with Maggie. Did she have something to do with it? Or was it Milena? Or Clarissa? Or some combination of the three? Or perhaps the beating I'd taken from Janey had finally sunk in.

"Mike?" Maggie said quietly.

"What?"

"Would it make a difference if we ... you know?"

"That has nothing to do with it," I said gently. "And if you think it's important to wait until you're married, then no guy who insists otherwise is worth your time."

"But you have..."

"Which you only know because someone decided to gossip. But even so, from MY perspective, it's not a problem. If it is from yours, then I think you have your answer."