Chapter 2

WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 4, 1991

Metallica’s “Enter Sandman” is a hell of a way to wake up in the morning. I slapped the snooze button on my clock radio, almost instantly regretting it. Of course, that radio was hardly a stereo, so the sound quality suffered immensely. I loved the song, but it was getting constant radio play in early September.

Of course, I had a bootleg copy of the cassette tape so I knew there were many more songs on the album that were just as good.

I became more aware of my surroundings, opening my crusted eyes to filtered morning sunlight in my room. My body was a little sore from the football game that I had played the night before, but most notably, I was suffering from a morning hardon that threatened to starve the rest of my body of blood, particularly my brain.

That’s when I remembered my current predicament. Professing my desire to a very pretty girl who just wasn’t ready for a boyfriend.

“Fuck.”

I’d said it enough times to wear it out on the way home from school the night before. A small part of me wanted to shrink at the challenge.

‘Was she really worth it?’

‘Have you looked at her, idiot?’

Tall and athletic, she cut an imposing figure for a 15-year-old girl. Her blue-green eyes were mesmerizing. Long golden blond hair was the icing on the cake.

I had it pretty bad for the mostly-confident girl. There was just something about her that drew me to her like a moth to a, um, an inferno?

For a whole nine minutes I rehashed our conversation in her Bronco from the night before, beating myself up over saying the wrong things. Maybe what I said didn’t matter. She just wasn’t ready for a serious boyfriend.

‘Patience.’

I had a feeling mine would be tested sorely.

How did I know it hashed it out in my mind for an entire nine minutes?

R.E.M’s “Losing My Religion” blared from my clock radio after the first snooze, and I couldn’t slap the snooze button fast enough. I hated that song.

I yawned, stretched and considered heading for the shower. However, I’d need to wait a moment before parading through the house at full mast.

I got control of the situation and headed for the shower, but hormones were racing through my body, bringing that issue back as I worked a lather through my hair.

I couldn’t remember the last time I was unable to control my thoughts of sex, and the obvious biological reaction to it.

Then again, I’d been having a lot of sex since the middle of summer. No such luck these days, and the drought was somewhat self-imposed.

‘You sure she’s worth it?’

The thought gave me pause while drying off.

‘Well, she better be.’

I noticed a fresh bruise on my bicep in a circular shape, complete with little dots from the holes in my mesh jersey. The bruise was darkening everywhere but the open spots. I think I had taken a helmet to the inside of my arm last night, but I couldn’t remember the exact moment it had happened.

I got to the breakfast table a little late. Josh had to be on the bus long before I had to leave for school. No matter, there was still some crispy bacon and a pile of scrambled eggs to plate up.

I filled my traditional glasses of milk and orange juice and dug in.

“Can you try to be home right after football practice today?” Mom asked.

“Yeah, why?”

“Dad and the guys will need a break, it’d be great if you could drive the tractor for a couple of hours or so.”

Dad, Grandpa and my Uncle Mike would be chopping silage from corn and sorghum. The process would take several days to fill a large bunker with basic feed for the cattle through the winter. The chopper would take in the whole plant and launch the chopped fodder into a big trailer that would have to be pulled back to the farmstead bunker. Grandpa would run the chopper. Uncle Mike would transport and Dad would use a loader to spread and compact the green silage into a neat pile.

If I could help out, each of them would get a break.

“Sure,” I shrugged. “I don’t have any other plans.”

With that, mom got Josh ready and walked him to the end of the long driveway to wait for the bus.

I had some crispy bacon and eggs to finish before heading out.

“So she just wants to be friends? You got the ‘let’s be friends’ speech?”

“No, that’s not entirely the right way to explain it,” I sighed.

I had picked Mikey up on the way to school, explaining what was going on between Jen and me.

“Doesn’t sound promising,” Mikey added.

“No, it’s not promising at all,” I complained, then smiled. “But she does like me.”

“How do you know?”

“She tried to kiss me,” I grinned happily.

Mikey paused for a moment in confusion.

“Mixed signals, dude.”

“Well, she’s a girl,” I said matter-of-factly.

Tuesday’s triumph of walking into the school building next to Jen was Wednesday’s cruel reality of walking in with, well, just Mikey.

I stopped at my locker and stowed my bag, grabbing my Algebra book. I said ‘hi’ to a few people and headed up the hallway toward Algebra class, passing more lockers.

That’s when they caught my eye.

Shelby had her back to a locker door and Chris Anders was practically pressed up against her with his palm planted on the locker closest to her.

‘What the fuck?’ rolled through my head before the final cog clicked into place in my head.

That’s what Chris was worried about being ‘awkward’ between us. That’s who Shelby was already interested in before she gave me her ultimatum. That’s her boyfriend now...

‘I’m an idiot,’ I thought as I walked past the happy little couple.

They didn’t seem to even notice me.

I almost stopped dead in my tracks when another thought popped into my head.

‘I wonder if he knows she begged me to date her instead of Jen just two nights ago?’

I already knew the answer to that question, and I knew I was going to keep it to myself.

Lunch was even more chaotic than Tuesday. Our big, mostly happy, group was splintered further.

Chris and Shelby, now clearly a couple, had moved to a smaller table, along with the Wilson twins, and of course Rachael Hudson, Vernon Donaldson and that new skinny little kid.

I sat down with Mikey to my right. To my relief, Jen smiled and sat next to me at my left, with Lea Rens at her side. The two seemed to be becoming fast friends. Autumn sat across from them, and Beast and Tree piled in across from me.

Mitch, Wyatt, Woody and Corey were in their usual places, just a bit further down the table. Allison sat next to Woody, attached at the hip. Kim, Mandy and unfortunately Morgan, sat across from them. If there was one person I’d like to see sit elsewhere, it was definitely Morgan.

Lexie and DeeDee, of course, were at a table of seniors, cozied up with Mark Carter and Troy Bartz.

“So, are you two, a thing?” Morgan practically spat out, looking at Jen and me while making air quotes with her hands.

Jen beat me to the punch.

“If good friends are ‘a thing,’ then yeah, we’re a thing,” she gave a fake smile with her own air quotes.

I suppressed a chuckle and shoved a fork into my taco salad. I wasn’t into the creamed turkey on a biscuit that was offered. I chose the alternative. I wasn’t alone. Many taco salads could be seen at the table. The consistency of the goopy turkey gravy over rock-hard biscuits was not appealing.

I had a forkful of lettuce, cheese and taco meat going into my mouth when someone unexpected picked up the bait.

“Well, you seem like more than just friends,” Allison grinned.

Wide-eyed, I nearly choked on that first bite, surprised at the sniper attack from an unlikely source. Much of the table had delicious little smiles on their faces as they awaited an answer.

Lea was stone silent, likely already knowing the situation. Autumn worked to stifle a smirk. Jen seemed to wait for me to come up with a suitable answer.

I chewed on my salad and my thoughts for a moment.

“It can’t be easy to be a new student here,” I reasoned, looking Allison in the eye. “I just want to make sure she has new friends.”

“Sure you do,” Morgan said tightly, with her trademark glare.

“Friends are nice to have, Morgan,” I grinned. “You should try it sometime.”

Morgan snorted derisively as my circle of friends, and mostly Jen, couldn’t suppress a laugh at her expense.

Jen and I sort of reconnected over study hall. We couldn’t talk much with the big-eared Nazi running study hall like a prison camp, but we read our homework and made eyes at each other over our books to the point that Beast mimed putting his finger down his throat, then finger-gunned his temple.

We did our best not to laugh out loud at his antics, but we both seemed to realize how into each other we were. We smiled at each other excessively the rest of study hall, then I walked her to her locker before heading off to Journalism class. It was all I could do not to reach out for her hand as we floated down the hallway.

“You’re SO a couple!”

“We are not,” I said defensively, lightly shoving Autumn’s shoulder the way she had just shoved mine.

The gorgeous redhead was teasing me through Journalism class as we worked on a group project.

“You do look like, perfect, together,” she teased.

“That’s probably true,” I admitted. “But she’s not ready for a relationship right now.”

“She sure looks ready whenever she’s around you,” Autumn giggled.

“Well, when she’s actually ready,” I shrugged.

“So you’re in a pre-relationship?” Autumn asked.

“We’re friends,” I said flatly.

“Ah,” Autumn nodded solemnly, then put an innocent look on her face. “What if I told you someone asked your ‘friend’ Jen out on a date?”

Clearly uncomfortable with the question, I ground my teeth while thinking of a response.

“I guess I’d have to ask you who is looking to eat his meals through a straw,” I said flatly.

“No one can ask your ‘friend’ out?” Autumn teased.

“When she’s ready to date, they will need to wait their turn.”

“What if she’s never ready to date? How long can you wait?”

Her question was a good one. I couldn’t look Autumn in the eye while I thought about it.

“I don’t know. It’s not like I have a lot of other options at this point.”

Autumn’s eyes got big and she stifled a laugh.

“You’re funny, you know that?” she grinned.

“Yeah, whatever,” I grumped. “As I recall, you didn’t want to be my girlfriend.”

Autumn shrugged, then gave me a pointed look.

“I still don’t,” she said in a chilly way. “But there are other ways to have relationships.”

“What exactly does that mean?”

“There are other ways to have relationships,” she looked at me meaningfully.

“You don’t mean...”

“It worked just fine for you all summer,” she smirked.

I gave Autumn a wide-eyed look.

“OK, first, don’t tempt me like that right now. I’m not sure I’m strong enough to say no to you. Second, I didn’t exactly feel good about the situation.”

“Felt pretty good to me,” she said with a wry little grin.

My eyes widened more.

“Stop it!” I hissed.

Autumn covered her mouth and giggled a little.

“Not if you and Jen got serious though, of course,” she added.

“Of course,” I repeated.

Autumn had raised her profile in just a couple of school days. She’d gone from quiet and bespeckled to, well, a red-headed hottie. Her new confidence was palpable.

“I’m not so sure about this new Autumn,” I joked.

“Who me?” she tilted her head teasingly. “You’re just getting to know me.”

It was another hot one at practice.

While the offense was running the same play for the fifth-straight time, those of us on defense were told to “act dumb.”

“Not that playing dumb is hard for some of you,” joked Coach Tenhagen.

It was a little funny the first time, but it was wearing thin that afternoon.

The problem was between right guard David Keller and right tackle Vern Donaldson. Keller pulls on a right sweep and Vern is supposed to kick back to stop backside pursuit. He kept launching forward to block the defensive tackle, leaving someone like the end or a linebacker to pursue the play behind the lead blocker and blow the whole thing up.

Well, that someone just so happened to be me. I had seen the play hundreds of times as the defensive end and now the middle linebacker. I would quickly recognize it and go blow up the play.

Embarrassing Vernon in front of everyone was all the better for me. I’d done it three straight times.

This time, I had something better in mind. I had a quiet conversation with Jeff Tait, the defensive end. I’d fake the same move at the line of scrimmage, goading Vernon into going after me. That would leave Jeff open to go take down the runner from behind.

At the snap, I took a quick step forward. Vernon, predictably, took the bait. I bailed backward as a look of confusion crossed his face. Jeff went rushing past Vernon and tackled the runner from behind.

“Donaldson!” Coach Kavanagh bellowed. “This is not that hard!”

Coach T was trying to suppress a smile as he recognized the subterfuge his defense had just executed against the offense.

We let them run the play correctly the next time, and while we were dismissed to hit the showers, the offense had to run a couple of laps.

I skipped the shower and zipped home. Mikey was less than pleased and would have to shower at home, but I told him he could shower and find another ride, or ride with me with no shower.

“You have any idea how many people asked me the same two questions today?” Mikey grumped from the passenger seat. I hadn’t even left the school parking lot yet.

“I don’t know how many, or what they asked,” I shrugged.

“‘Are Jake and the new girl dating?,’ is one, and ‘What’s up with Jake and Shelby?,’ is the other.

“What do you want me to tell you?”

“The answer to both,” Mikey grinned.

“You know Jen and I are not a couple. When we are, you’ll be the first to know. Well, maybe the second,” I rolled my eyes. “And honestly, I don’t know what Shelby’s problem is, but she clearly has a new boyfriend.”

“That she does,” Mikey nodded. “That came out of left field.”

“I’m guessing it came out of band practice, actually,” I mused. “She said something about thinking about dating someone a while back, about when band practices started up.”

“Makes sense,” Mikey nodded.

At home, Mom had a big homemade sub sandwich ready for me.

I wolfed it down, grabbed a cooler full of Pepsi, more sandwiches and little bags of chips and headed over to the big silage bunker, where Dad was busy pushing a fresh load of sorghum up the pile.

Dad stopped, hopped out of his tractor with a smile and took a can of Pepsi and a big sub.

In the meantime, I took over wagon duties from uncle Mike, allowing him a break and a sandwich.

I drove the tractor and empty wagon out to the field, where grandpa was filling another wagon as the chopper devoured four rows of sorghum.

With a full wagon, we executed the switch, swapping out an empty wagon for a full one. Grandpa Parker saw that I had replaced Uncle Mike and gave me a broad grin. He throttled the noisy chopper down and popped the door open, stepping down the ladder for his supper.

Grandpa pulled his big military surplus earmuffs down off his ears and then pulled a set of plugs out of his ears for good measure. That big machine would make you deaf in a matter of hours if you didn’t protect your hearing.

“Whatcha got for me?” he asked with a grin in his measured, easy-going tone.

“Subs and Pepsi,” I offered, opening the cooler.

“Alright! Thank your Mom for me, please,” he drawled.

Grandpa grabbed one of each, setting the can of pop on the rack of cast iron weights on the back of the chopper. He peeled back some of the clear wrapper from the sub and took a big bite, visibly relaxing as he started to chew.

“We’re about half done today,” he said off-handedly.

“Great,” I enthused.

“If it doesn’t rain and nothing breaks down,” he rapped his knuckles on the idling chopper. “We should be done by noon Friday.”

“Making good progress,” I responded. “Want me to get going with this next load?”

“No hurry,” grandpa mused. “I’m not climbing back up that ladder ‘til this sandwich is gone,” he grinned.

I could tell grandpa was in a mood to chat, so I grabbed another Pepsi from the cooler and started sipping along with him.

“How’s school going so far?” he asked.

“Pretty easy so far. It’s just the first few days.”

“They take it easy on ya the first week?”

“Yeah, in class at least. They don’t on the football field,” I chuckled.

“Yeah, grandma and I will see if we can’t get to a game or two this year,” he mused.

“That’s great, we’re pretty good so far. Won an easy one Tuesday night.”

“I heard,” grandpa smiled. “Heard you had a lot of tackles.”

“Yup,” I grinned. “They weren’t moving the ball on us much.”

“How about a girlfriend? Got a new one yet?”

I’m sure I blushed over grandpa’s direct question, scratching a toe in the black dirt between neatly sliced rows of sorghum.

“Nah, not yet.”

“Workin’ on it?” grandpa grinned.

“You could say that,” I shrugged.

“Grandma says Shelby has her first boyfriend.”

The color drained from my face and I couldn’t look at grandpa. I knew he was judging my response.

“I guess so,” I said flatly. “We haven’t really talked about that.”

“Thought you guys were best friends?”

I took a moment and shrugged.

“I used to think so too.”

The sun was starting to go down as everyone had their break time. I had pulled a few more loads of silage to the concrete bunker for Dad as he spread and compacted the green chunks into a massive pile.

Uncle Mike took over for me again, and I headed inside. They’d likely quit once it got totally dark.

I walked back over to the house where George was wagging his tail as I approached. One of the reasons he was still alive was because he stayed well clear of tractors and other farm equipment. I sat on a bench we had out front and rubbed his chin and ears. He groaned in happiness, a doggie smile on his Golden Retriever face and his tail sweeping the grass in front of us. I gave him five minutes of attention before leaving him for the night.

I went inside and greeted Mom and Josh, who were lounging in the family room watching TV. Josh was fighting off bed time.

“But the sun is still up!” he whined.

“The sun doesn’t have school tomorrow,” Mom chided.

“Awww!” he grumped, folding his arms over his chest.

“I don’t know about you, buddy, but I’m going to take a shower and go right to bed,” I assured him.

“See, your big brother is going to bed too.” Mom gave me a wry smile.

“I bet I get to sleep before you do!” I challenged Josh.

“No way, José!” He chirped, then dashed off to his room.

Mom smiled broadly and wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug, then pulled my head down and kissed by forehead.

“You’re a good big brother,” she said quietly, then sniffed the air.

“But you stink something fierce! Go shower!”

Mom backed off and waved her hand in front of her nose with a grin.

“Yeah, practice and work,” I shrugged.

“Just go shower, stinky,” she teased with a laugh.

I shrugged and turned around and was about to hit the shower when Mom stopped me.

“Jake?”

“Yeah,” I turned back expectantly.

“Can you help out again with supper in the field tomorrow night?”

“Sure,” I shrugged.

I was in the mood for a cold shower, and took one. I kept the water at a just-tolerable coolness, letting it sluice the grime of the day off of me. Dried sweat and field dust coated my hair and face. I could taste the dirt and sweat and saw dirt-darkened water splashing on the floor of the shower.

I really was dirty.

I worked soap over every sore muscle, cringing as I felt the big bruise on my bicep, jersey marks still in place. My neck was sore and stiff, either from hits in practice or the bounce of the tractor seat. I had to imagine it was much worse for Dad, Grandpa and Uncle Mike. They had been working all day.

Freshly washed, I dried off and looked at myself in the mirror, hair wild and uncombed. My eyes looked tired. I was tired. I had a lot going on and a lot on my mind.

With a towel wrapped around my waist, I strode to my bedroom and closed the door. I immediately noticed my answering machine was blinking.

Who’d tried to call? Jen? Shelby? Maybe Mikey just asking about some homework?

I tapped the rewind button and listened intently.

The stupid machine just beeped and played five seconds of dialtone. No one had left me a message.

That was infuriating. How was I supposed to know who tried to call me? And what did they want?

I changed into a pair of blue briefs and climbed into bed. The last rays of the sun were lighting up the clouds with an eerie purple hue. It was getting dark sooner every day, and with summer fighting to hold on before fall, the first frost would soon arrive. In just the last week, the soybeans had turned yellow, and then mostly brown. The leaves would all fall off in a couple more days, and we’d have brown fields everywhere. The corn would soon follow suit, likely after a hard frost. Then summer in the Midwest would slip away entirely.

I love summer, but I liked fall too. There was something about the crisp air and the changing seasons.

I had a lot running through my mind but my eyes were very tired and the rest of my body wasn’t far behind. My mind warred over how to reconnect with Shelby, or if I was the one who needed to do it. She was the one ignoring me. She was the one with the problem.

Then again, I felt like I needed her little voice in my head. I hadn’t heard it in a couple of days. Maybe she needed me as well. Then again, after seeing her with Chris, maybe she didn’t. Maybe she had what she always wanted from me and I was either too naive or not ready to give her.

The problem was, she wasn’t telling me either way. That was the frustration.

Jen was something else. I had pretty much decided that it was just a matter of time before she was mine. Did I have the patience to wait her out? What other temptations would spring up for me before then? Or would she have other temptations or choices?

I had almost entirely forgotten to press Autumn about who asked Jen out. I would make a point of it next time I saw her.

Exhaustion got the better of me, and I drifted off to sleep still thinking about the complicated women in my life.

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 5, 1991

“Did you try to call me last night?” I pressed Mikey.

He cleared his eyes a little and gave me a bleary look.

“Nah, dude. Why?”

“Oh, someone called my line last night and didn’t leave a message. I’m trying to narrow it down.”