Chapter 1: A Dark. Rainy, Dreary Night

That’s what it felt like at least. It was just after 5 am and I was debating with myself to either get up or go back to sleep. That was one decision another imperative forced me to make. The ‘call of nature’ took any conscious choice out of my hands, in fact I was up and running as fast as I could so as not to wet the floor. It was, to me, just another example of running on auto-pilot; something I seemed to be doing a lot of lately and something I did not care to do.

A moment of clarity seems to have taken birth during the last few spurts in the morning. One sees things as they really are then. Sometimes your whole life is summed up for you sometimes you just sit down on the pot instead. Either action delays going on with life the way it has been. In my case this had been happening every time I had been home.

I exited the loo and looked around at my 10×12 one room apartment, the sliding glass door leading outside and a curtain hiding the nook for a kitchen and shook my head. I had to ask myself ‘Why?’, why was I doing this? Easy answer, all I asked for was them to ‘Show Me The Money’. Yep what I saw around me was of my of my own making, my own damn fault it was and I did not like it at all.

Reality set in though. If not this then what? What was this? This was 7-70 days away at a time, 24 hours a day ‘solving problems’ for the bosses any time, anywhere, any day they pulled my chain. Flying commercial was bad enough, last time TSA screwed up and everyone in terminal 3-A had to do it all over again. Meant 3.3 extra hours was added to what already was a morning of no coffee and some asshole acting as if he were herding cattle to the slaughter.

As bad as that was another asshole, efficiency type nerd issued an edict that only Military transports be used for ‘civilian’ contractors, whenever possible. One time, one time only I made what already was a 26 hour set of flights to a place in S E Asia on commercial traffic but now took 4.5 days to get to following these new, and more cost-effective guidelines.

That sort of, at least for me, made up my mind to quit. Right, like you could quit or say ‘Sayonara MF’ maybe but not today would that work. There might be a way though; it would take some co-operation or big balls to pull off. Why was I worried, if I just flat out refused any new assignments, what were they going to do ‘Kill Me’?

I thought back to 1 or 2 previous gigs and answered my own question. That was exactly what would happen, especially with the MF types and his cost-cutting bent. ‘Retirement’ took on a whole different meaning. This did not mean that everyone in the ‘business’ was not to be trusted ... wait, that was exactly what it was. They were all MF’s and the ability for ‘creative-lying’ was one of the first considerations on their resumes.

There were several options; not several ‘good’ options mind you but there were some options. The one I choose was ‘option 3’, Confuse and Misdirect. I would be ‘on assignment’ or ‘TDY’ to an ‘above TS 17’ (Old classification system) of which my current bosses did not ‘need to know; about. (One President wanted a classification he could count to so it recently stopped at four)

“Cool’ I thought, ‘this might actually work’ plus they would still be paying me. No damn GSA puke would have a security level higher than the President plus they did not have any ‘need to know’ either. Pretty neat if I could get away with it, and it was not like these nerds kept any meticulous notes of an assignment.

To really rock the boat, I might just drop in to the DIA, The White House, Ft. Fumble, NSC HQ at ‘Star’ and dear Ole Langley. Would they wonder if the ‘target’ was one of them? No one would even want to know for certain and even have me around now.

My ‘request’ for certain specialized ‘equipment’ (They added sun glasses) followed by a need for a lot of ‘clean’ cash just fit within things they did not even want to know about. The hint that John McIntyre would no longer be available just was the icing on the cake as was the note ‘Retired’ and a Cayman Islands bank account for ‘pension’ deposits given.

When I looked in the bags on a train headed out of town, supply must have assumed I would need a lot of funds, far more than I expected. Have fun you GSA Pencil Pushers, 15,000 more toilets would need to be accounted for.

Let’s see, William, no, Roy Saunders would be renting a place somewhere warm now. He was ‘clean’, not even Papa knew his name and Canada was losing another early retiree applying for citizenship. Florida, like in Palm Beach would be a good new home and no workplace required.

The more I thought of it, the better I liked it. As far as my landlord knew, John was headed to Maine. My TDY would show, well, Tierra del Fuego (Land of Fire) which would give no clue where I might need to be. I might even send a post card, from DC to a ‘Buzzard’ (Like the RDF or a SEAL) in Chile I knew. ‘See you soon!’ it would say.

John would drop of the face of the earth, so would several other ‘Company’ names.

In West Palm The Breakers was a nice Hotel but was four or five times more costly than the Hilton Garden Inn in West Palm; but at $229 a night had no free breakfast, and no free parking, A pleading look at Jennifer (She might have been a girl I picked for myself) at the front desk with my, “If only I had someone pretty like you to stay with me, I could honestly say there were two in the room”. Did not always work but the up charges to $275 went away with her promise to ‘show me around’ after 3pm.

Well met I think, that she took cash for two weeks and ‘knew’ how hard it was for a newbie to find things; she just felt obliged to help me out. We had a date.

I had a fairly nice room here. Jennifer came up right at 3 pm. She was nervous, so was I, but for different reasons. I asked her to sit down and have some wine from the fridge and a complimentary fruit and cheese basket I had room service bring up earlier.

“Tell me about yourself? You are my only friend here in the US.”

I found out she was a Freshman (it was late March, next week April in her first year) at Draughons Community College, lived at home and as I might expect I was one of the few men under 50 and without a wife or girlfriend to be with her.

As I handed her a small, half-filled glass of wine I told her actually what I wanted to do. “First, I like you, liked you the moment I saw you. (It was true, she could easily have been a FSU Cheerleader). I don’t have any plans to go too far from here but I need you or someone like you to be my PA type person. That means they do all the things for me that I don’t want to do myself.

I took a small sip of my wine, a grape, then chewed and swallowed. She was leaning forward, more and more, just listening.

“I am guessing you don’t have a lot of money, working here and I can pay you much more; though this place might be very exciting for you.”

“Gee, you think?”

“Can I use you say a year or two, to be my PA?”

She didn’t jump up and run away so I continued.

“Here is what I was thinking. We use a PC here at the Hilton, write up some authorization letters for a DBA, get a lawyer, set up a LLC, get a bank account, lease a nice car for you, get one of those shared offices then find a nice place for us to rent near some college you want to go to. I don’t really care where as long as it’s within 50 miles (81km) of here.”

“I can’t do that!”

“Why?”

“I don’t ha...”

I will pay all the expenses, pay for your college, your car, insurance, Soc Sec, room, food, clothes are included and I will pay you say $50,000 a year cash in advance. I need you to be with me at times but you can have a life of your own, I’m not trying to make you some sex slave, well maybe a little, but to me it is more important if you always do as I ask, no questions or arguments.”

I handed her some envelopes. First money for a lawyer’s retainer, next, money for a ‘Rent-a-Office’, car, etc. Money to deposit in a new DBA account into a bank with branches in South Florida all marked with a ‘to use for’. “OK so far?”

She looked at the envelopes of money on the table. “Are you some kind of crook or drug dealer?”

“No! Remember no questions. Nothing illegal but it is private, I promise. Trust me!”

She nodded. She was a pretty little thing, maybe 5’ 6’’ or 7” (168 cm), 105 (48 kg) pounds, with long, silver-blond hair. As I said another ‘perfect’ choice for me, I could not have done better myself in picking her.

The look on her face was not a look of trust though.

“OK! Here is ‘our’ story. I am not a citizen yet, just applied, we need credit/debit cards, a lease car, license, a place to rent to live and I only have cash. Ask your Dad or Mom what Lawyer would best help us on this, then give your Dad this envelope and tell him it is some of your pay from your new job, to use it for all they have done for you. It is not but he will think it is. Here is your actual pay for this year. (I handed another two envelopes to her) This last money is for college, clothes, laptops, cellphones, printers, whatever else we need. Now do you see what kind of problems I would have without your help? None of this has to be done right away. I’m thinking a Banker or Lawyer might even become creative for a cute girl like you, he or she will think they are taking advantage of you.”

“Finish up school here, take fewer and fewer hours here at the Hotel, I assume you are part-time now.”

She nodded.

“‘I’ll have to go with you wherever we both need to sign things and by August or September let’s plan on you starting your new school. Your 18, an adult and you will have a job, insurance and a start so when you graduate you can go your own way or stick with me doing who knows what will happen by then, maybe you retire and be a ‘kept woman’. You will have your own bedroom until then and a bath wherever we go, OK, feel better now?”

She was looking at me funny now. She sat back some, took a sip of wine and said? “Why?”

“Why not? If it is asking too much just say no or find me someone as cute as you or cuter here in West Palm. I have a problem, I know it and am willing to pay to solve it. You just were there and had a nice smile or maybe it was the free breakfasts and parking. Did I mention you are cute and I love your hair.”

Her face scrunched up, lips canted and she reached over and hit me. I took it as a good thing.

“What no collar, tat or slave brand?”

“Unless you give me back some of that money, so I can afford them, no, your expensive to keep!”

She smiled and tossed that long hair from side to side. I wondered if Mr. Grimes, one of my old bosses would let me introduce my new partner to him. Nah! That ‘bridge was already burnt’. (to quote another SOL author’s pretty sidekick, Jennifer was cuter though, to me at least)

“What can I tell my Mother and Father, let alone my supervisors here?”

Let’s go online and find a Snake (Lawyer) and have them suggest a good cover story, I mean a factual representation they might believe. I’ll go to the PC and look up some prospects while you either order room service or make reservations somewhere nice. If you need to go home or buy new clothes, I’ll pay; think I have a few bucks hidden away in my sock if you keep it reasonable.”

That got me the kind of look my last target gave me when I asked her if she had a few $ Million lying around that would keep my attention while she looked for more. ‘By gosh and by golly’, she did but never returned from her search for more. She looked like Jennifer’s twin, my weakness I guess. Mr. Grimes was pissed at that ‘failure’ and I had to find a bank that still took $10,000 bills from a person instead of another bank. (Only bank to bank transfer or International currency exchanges could use US bills over $100) Oh Well!

Jen reminded me that I had no credit card on file, so room service was out. We needed to dine out.

I had a good feeling when I spotted a Mr. Pashi Ke Bareshi Esq. Somehow I just knew he could help with my problem, after all we were not too far from Miami. I printed out his info along with a few others to show to Jennifer.

“Jen I’m tuckered out, I’ve been working so hard you best start earning your pay and tell me where we are eating out? I’ve also got the info of a few ‘Snakes’, I mean Sharks could you ‘Please’ call one and set up an appointment it could make your job easier. I’m beat, not sure I could even go dancing tonight unless we have time for a nap after dinner?”

“No pressure, just platonic things huh? Just a 9-5 job?

“Dinner, Naps and Dancing are not considered Work!”

“I want a raise!”

“OK, bend over and I’ll boot you one.”

“Not in these clothes, we need to go shopping first.”

“OK, OK! Find places that take cash.” I thought: ‘Nothing like leading from the rear.’ If it wasn’t for the smile on her face I would have not known she was joking. She was not though, she really wanted to go shopping and called us a cab. I had to get more money, like I told her, she was expensive to keep.