Chapter 1

Jack Fielding jumped when he heard another loud explosion and almost dove to the ground. His heart was thumping and he actually felt dizzy, he was panting from the adrenaline rush as he looked around then over at his Father and uncle Jim. They were watching him with concern as he regained control after the noise of the explosion faded away.

Jack took a deep breath and said, “I can’t put up with much more of this crap Pop. Those explosions startle me when they go off and it’s not getting any better. Most of the time even when I am looking for a foxhole I realize it’s just the charges blowing the cut for the new interstate but I’m already shook to hell up by then. Hell, the other day a damn car backfired and I nearly took a dive. I have to get away until I can calm down. I think I’ll load up in the truck and head over to Sweetwater for a while. I can stay in grandpa’s old house or the store and maybe relax until I get my feet back under me. I’ve wanted to go over and see the place ever since I got back home anyway. I had some great times when I stayed there with him and granny. I made some good friends in that little berg too. I wonder if any of the guys are still around?

“I still can’t believe he left all that to me when he died. I’m glad he did but I feel guilty I got it instead of you, Uncle Jim and Aunt Tanya.”

Jack’s father Alfred laughed and said, “Don’t feel bad about that. He knew you loved that place and none of the rest of us cared that much for it. None of your cousins gave a hoot about it and someone had to have it so, since you liked it there you got it. All of the rest of us got our fair share and we’re happy with the way things were divided.

“I hate that you are so jumpy but I remember how it was when Jim and I came back. It takes longer for some than others to reintegrate and forget. Are you still having nightmares and flashbacks? I thought I heard you yelling again last night.”

“Yeah. I am. Most of the time its not too bad though. I can usually go back to sleep pretty quickly.”

“Well it you keep having trouble you need to do something about it. Talk to Jim or me if nothing else but I heard the VA has programs for problems like yours. We used to call it shell shock or battle fatigue, but now they’re calling it PTSD. It doesn’t matter what you call it, those of us who have been there know what it is and understand.”

Jack stood and said, “Well, I guess I’ll head out. I still have time to pack and get there before dark. I don’t suppose there’s still power in the house or store is there?”

Uncle Jim said, “No but you can go out to the Resort and pick up one of the smaller generators and some gasoline to use until you get it turned on. This is Friday so it’ll be the first of the week before the power company can get out I’m sure. A lot of your grandfather’s tools are still in the store or the shop behind the house but it you need anything I’m sure someone in the family has it so don’t buy anything until you check with us.”

“Thanks. Well, I better get going.”

Jack didn’t get in any rush to get away. He looked up the electric Co-Op phone number and called them before he began packing. After he took care of the power, he moved methodically but quickly, thinking about what he wanted to take and loading his nearly new 1969 Chevrolet Half Ton pickup. He pulled away from his father’s home outside Steelville just before two p.m. headed for Sweetwater and, he hoped, a quieter environment.

Just under thirty minutes after he left Steelville Jack arrived at the little town of Sweetwater. He drove slowly as he tripped down memory lane headed for his new home. He was amazed at how many of the houses appeared empty. Some of the larger homes that the more well to do families had lived in when he was young were empty, the yards grown up and unkempt. A couple of them near his grandfather’s house—well, his house now—had so many young trees and shrubs growing in the yard you could only see the eaves and roof now. When he got to his place, he saw it was almost the same. It was apparent some effort had been made to take care of it but the yard was surrounded with trees, shrubs grown wild and brush. In a way, he liked it. It gave the place a more secluded feeling and it, too, was almost impossible to see from the street. The yard was completely shaded and felt peaceful.

Jack drove down the driveway of his house and stopped in front of the door to the detached garage and shop. He got out of his truck and walked slowly around the yard looking at the exterior of the house and shop. Man, it was going to take a lot of work if he wanted to get the place looking spiffy again. There were so many dead limbs in the yard he couldn’t mow it if he had a lawn mower. Whoever had been taking care of it just mowed around the larger limbs and hadn’t done anything with granny’s old flower beds. He understood why no one maintained the place much but he still was upset it was in such shape. The house needed painting and a few boards on the porch needed to be replaced.

Finally Jack walked to the door into the kitchen and unlocked it. As he walked through the house he opened the windows to air it out. You could tell it hadn’t been lived in for several years from the musty smell and all the dust over everything. Except for that, it looked just as he remembered it. The same old threadbare furniture sat in the same places. The same boards creaked when he walked across the floor or climbed the stairs as when he was a kid. The old linoleum in the kitchen showed black through the color in the high traffic areas and the bathrooms had, probably, the original fixtures.

After he made a tour of the house, he walked out to the garage and opened it up to see what tools were still there. From there he went back to his truck and got out his cleaning supplies. He lugged them into the kitchen then returned for his cooler and food. He also brought in the twenty gallons of water he had in plastic five gallon food service containers so he would have drinking and cleaning water.

He gave the kitchen a quick cleaning then headed for the only bedroom downstairs to clean it and get it ready for the night. After they got unsteady enough it was dangerous to climb the stairs his grandparents had turned the den into their bedroom and he intended to continue using it as his bedroom. They had cut a door from it into the downstairs bathroom and it was perfect for his use. The large formal living room would continue to serve as the main living area. The old butler’s pantry between it and the dining room and kitchen was set up as his grandfather’s office and would be his too if he decided he needed one.

By the time it became too dark to see well he had the bedroom spick and span and the kitchen was clean enough. Jack walked tiredly out to the truck and drove the half mile to the small town park to see if the old swimming hole was still there. He took a towel and bar of soap so he could clean the dirt and sweat off before he had his meagre supper. He even had a six pack of his favorite beer to wash his sandwiches down with.

There were three cars in the little parking area when Jack pulled into it. He grabbed a small cooler with the beer and a couple sandwiches in it, his bag of potato chips, and then picked up his soap and a towel. He took off for the gravel bar and water. He wanted a nice dip and bath then he intended to sit, have his supper and drink at least three beers as he relaxed. He could hear some kids yelling and splashing in the water and he remembered how he and his cousins had enjoyed the lazy afternoons and evenings here in years past.

When Jack came in sight of the gravel bar and swimming hole he saw some blankets laid out with food and drinks on them and a small fire burning in the center of them. There were a couple of women cooking while three men and a woman were in the water with the kids. He moved downstream from the families to a log washed up on the gravel where he sat his supper down. He walked straight into the water and began his bath as he cooled off.

Jack heard one of the men say something to another and they turned toward him. One of them said loudly, “I will be damned. Jack Fielding. Is that you? What the hell are you doing back in town? I heard you was in the Army.” The men began walking toward him as Jack watched. All at once recognition came and he smiled.

He began moving toward the men as they approached and said, “Craig and Gene. How the hell are you two? I asked Pop if any of you were still around and he didn’t know. I got back a couple days ago and came down to stay here a while in grandpa’s old house. I’m trying to unwind and decide what comes next.”

Craig said,, “Well hell, come on over to the fire and meet the old ladies. They’re cooking some burgers. We’ll have a couple cold ones and catch up. There’s plenty. They always cook more than we can eat.”

“Sure. Let me finish cleaning up and I’ll be over.”

By full dark all four men and a couple of the women were well on the way to being well soused. The party was loud and raucous and Jack was getting back in touch with his friends while he caught up on many of the people they had gone to school with or that he knew from his summers with his grandparents. As expected, most of them had moved on to other places because there really wasn’t much to hold them in the old town. All the jobs were in the larger cities unless you were farming with your parents like Craig and Gene were or on welfare. A few people lived in town and drove the nearly thirty miles to the next larger town to work in one of the factories but most just moved to where the work was. It was sad to see and hear about all the empty houses and business buildings in town.

When Jack was young there were two grocery stores, two cafe’s, two service stations, two garages (one specialized in small engines, one in auto’s and tractors), a barber shop and beauty shop, a pool hall, a hardware store, the post office, a small hospital and two doctors in town. Additionally, there was his grandfather’s small pharmacy and sundry shop and his grandmother’s little millinery store where she did some sewing and sold sewing and homemaking supplies. Now there was just one gas station/convenience store, the post office and a renovated building that had a cafe that blew through owners, none of which could make a go of it.

Finally about midnight the party began breaking up. By the time the beer was gone there were almost a dozen people sitting around enjoying the summer Friday night. The women carefully picked up the children sleeping on the blankets and loaded them into the cars and the men loaded the coolers and other items. Everyone fell into their vehicles and drove, none too straightly, home (this was in a time when nothing much was made of drunk driving or open containers in a vehicle, a simpler time than we now live in.)

Jack staggered from his truck to his house and stripped naked before he almost fell into his grandfather’s and grandmother’s old bed. He was sleeping almost before he was fully reclined. At some time during the night he staggered out onto the back porch to piss then returned to his bed. Another good thing about country or small town life where you can’t see your neighbors home—you can piss outside or even sunbathe nude.

It was full daylight and the sun was shining through the filthy windows onto Jack when he was drug out of his sound sleep by the blaring of a horn and men yelling. “Hey you worthless sack of shit? Are you still in bed? Get your ass out here, you’re burning daylight.”

Jack came out of bed, heart thumping and looked around wildly for his weapon before he realized what was going on. He rapidly pulled his jeans on commando and staggered to the back door. There were three trucks and two cars in his driveway with what appeared to be a dozen or so men and women milling around. Jack stood on the porch looking at the melee as Craig moved toward him.

“Hey man, we’re here to help get this mess cleaned up. Break out the beer and let’s get started. What’s first?”

“Uhhh. Go somewhere and buy some beer?”

“What! You don’t have beer? What the hell kind of place you running here? How you gonna pay us? Crap, get your clothes on and we’ll go get some while the rest of these guys get started. The ladies are here to clean the house and the rest of us will take care of the yard and so forth. well, hurry up here. We have burgers and dogs for lunch. Jase is bringing a couple grills and charcoal.”