Chapter 31

The rest of the evening was sedate. We had dinner and I enjoyed listening to the girls chat. Melissa and Lavi had known Ji for years, probably spent hundreds of hours with her, but were only connecting with her as friends now. It was fascinating to watch. I liked Ji but didn’t feel a connection with her. She was a teenage girl, a cute one, a sexy one, but still a teenager while Melissa and Lavi were women to me as irrational as that might be but I also realized that was starting to change. Ji went home afterward in freshly cleaned clothes. She texted later that her mother commented on how the clothes looked as if they had just been laundered, with the acronym FML appended to it. Melissa had to explain to me that it means ‘fuck my life.’

Monday and Tuesday went quickly. The girls got assignments from school and went to spend time with their families. Tuesday night we had family dinner since we would be gone Wednesday and Melissa felt it was important to keep the weekly tradition of us cooking together. I approved. Linda and Rian, much to my shock, accepted an invitation to join us. Linda behaved herself but I think everyone would have enjoyed dental surgery without anesthesia more. I had planned to rent a large car so that we could handle five or six people going out together in Panama City but Melissa objected to the expense. The debate was settled by Lavi swapping cars with her mom so we ended up taking Sylvia’s SUV. We were packing the car when Melissa’s phone dinged and she answered it.

“Sure,” I heard her say into it, “Yeah, we’ll be here.” She looked at Lavi and me. “That was the detective we talked to. She said she is close by and wanted to chat for a minute.”

My grandfather had a saying before he passed about being a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I had always thought it was a stupid saying but suddenly it felt appropriate as I didn’t find anywhere calming for my thoughts to turn to. We didn’t say anything but kept packing and soon a blue sedan pulled up to the curb. A brunette, about 5’6”, a little overweight and with an easy smile in a navy pants suit got out and came up to shake my hand since I was closest.

“Detective Warren,” I said.

“Mr. Carlo,” she responded and then took Melissa’s hand, “Melissa and this must be,” she turned to Lavi, “Ms. Heller.”

“Hey,” she waved shyly. Lavi hadn’t met her since Lavi had been at the temple at the time of the first meeting and her later statement had been taken over the phone.

“Do you want to come in?” I asked.

“No, I’ll just be a minute.” I noticed Melissa was now immediately beside me and felt her hand find mine. Lavi had fallen in on Melissa’s other side. “I just wanted to update you on the case. I’ll be making my recommendation to the district attorney and, to be honest, it will probably be dropped.”

She looked at Melissa who just said, “Oh.”

“But you will have the investigation on file and my recommendation which will help you get a restraining order if you want one. I’ll speak for you to a judge if you want. Sometimes that helps.”

Melissa, “I appreciate that but I think I want to see what happens at school.”

“I’m sorry if this is disappointing.”

“No,” Melissa replied, “I understand. I wasn’t sure I should even report it...”

The detective interrupted Melissa, “No, no, you did the right thing. And if it happens again, get to safety and call 911 immediately and me right after. You still have my number?” Melissa nodded affirmatively. “Good. Now, do you have anything for personal protection?”

“Um, like a gun?”

“Well, I don’t recommend you carry a firearm without preparation. A lot of people end up injuring themselves or bystanders. I was thinking of something like a taser. They’re legal to carry without any kind of permit here so you can get one easily.”

“You tell me the kind and I’ll have them waiting here for when we’re back,” I said.

“Going somewhere?”

“Just a long weekend,” I replied.

“Going to meet Robert’s mom,” added Lavi.

“Well, have fun you three.” Usually, she focused on talking to Melissa but for just a second she gave me a look. I could read the question in her face - how the fuck did I have these two girls with me. I often wondered that myself. “Here,” she said, “I’ll text you the name and model of what I use. It’s a little pricey but has two charges and a laser sighting. And, very important, it has an indicator if the batteries get low over time. You can’t recharge them but you can replace them and should. It’s not a gun but still needs care and maintenance. Also, and I have to say this as a cop, state law will let you take it anywhere except a school or courthouse. But municipalities and private businesses have their own rules so check and follow them.” She had her phone out and in a moment Melissa’s phone beeped with the text.

“I really appreciate all this,” Melissa said, “but I have to ask, do I need to be worried?”

Detective Warren shrugged. “Better safe than sorry. Hopefully, he was just being a stupid kid and will get his head straight. But, sometimes it’s not the last you see of them.”

Melissa’s face was tight. “How often?”

“Honestly, we don’t know. A lot of cases never get reported. But it happens enough that I really mean it when I say you should make sure he can never get you anywhere by yourself. Anyway, enjoy your trip.” She waved and was gone in a minute.

Melissa’s hand disentangled from mine and was looking at her phone. I got the last of the bags in the back of the SUV and shut it. Melissa was still on her phone and swore. “Fuck.”

“Huh?” I asked.

“They are pricey.”

“Order them.”

“You sure?”

“Yep. One for you and one for the lioness.”

Lavi, “I’m fine, I don’t need one.” She was putting a cooler with sandwiches and drinks in the backseat.

“You don’t get to argue on this,” I said.

She put a hand on her hip. “I can argue about anything I please.” I walked up and pulled her close to me. “I’ll bet I could take you,” she grinned.

I looked into Lavi’s eyes. “Do you know what happened to my ex when she once pushed me on something I told her I absolutely would not bend on?”

“You spanked her?” Lavi was grinning.

“I put her in a chastity belt for a week. I took her to a play party in it and she couldn’t even edge.”

“You didn’t!?” Her eyes were wide.

“I have it upstairs if you want to try it on.” I kept my eyes on hers.

“Uh,” Melissa asked, “how did she pee?”

“Infrequently.”

“You wouldn’t!” Lavi said, eyes wide. “Would you?”

“I don’t want to,” I said.

Lavi, “Holy fuck balls that is evil.”

Melissa leaned against the car and grinned, “I wish I could have seen that.”

Lavi looked at Melissa, “You want to be put in it? ‘Cause you better as hell not expect me to wear one.”

Melissa, “Oh fuck no, but I like Robert all stern like this.” She had a stupidly happy grin.

“Wait a second,” I said and looked at both of them. “I’m not putting anyone in a chastity belt. Jordyn’s and my relationship was different and I’m not going back to that. But my point is,” I focused on Lavi again, “I can, a bastard when I have to be. Sometimes I even enjoy it. But I don’t want to have to be one. So, can you just go my way on this, and then we can go back to you two running my life while I pretend I’m not paying attention to it?”

Lavi grinned at that. “Deal,” she said. I kissed her. And I enjoyed it so I did it again. “So,” she asked, “does that count as a fight? Does that mean I get makeup sex?”

Melissa walked up and slapped Lavi’s ass. “Slut.” Lavi giggled. “Fine, I’m ordering one for you too Robert.”

“I...” I started to say I didn’t need one but then decided after making a point about Lavi it was the wrong thing to do. So instead, I said, “Thanks.” Soon we were in the car. Lavi’s phone was already synced with the Bluetooth so she put the route in and we were off with me driving. She started to select something to play.

“Hey,” I said, “driver picks the music.”

“My phone,” Lavi said, “and I’m not going for music. It’s an audiobook.”

“Oh, what?”

“Spies of No Country.”

“Don’t know it,” Melissa said from the backseat.

“My zaydeh recommended it. He loves history stuff and since I like spy movies and my dad told him I was really working to ace world history...”

Melissa let out a snort, “I’ll bet he doesn’t know why.”

Lavi put her nose in the air a little, “I don’t feel like that’s pertinent. But he and I don’t usually have a lot in common so this is cool.”

“At least you have a grandparent that communicates with you in something other than varying levels of disappointment,” Melissa responded.

“Well, bubbeh and zaydeh. Grandma, mom’s mom, seemed content to just try to convert me but my cousins have Instagram so she probably knows a lot more to disapprove of now.”

Melissa, “So, your mom gets out of Thanksgiving?”

“After everything I’ve posted for the last few weeks, presumably.” Lavi’s tone was indifferent. “Only thing I’ll miss is the deep-fried turkey.”

“We could still do a huge Thanksgiving at my place,” I said. “I’ve never deep-fried a turkey but I’m willing to try. And maybe a duck. Can you eat duck?”

“Technically, so long as it’s raised domestic, yeah, but we’re not really strict.”

“I know but I want to accommodate everyone. Maybe a couple of chickens too. You know, compare deep-frying fowl.” I was starting to have a plan.

Melissa sighed, “Lavi, put the book on before an ostrich comes into this.” Lavi hit play and I pulled out of the neighborhood and a long stretch of mind-numbing American interstates began.

Later Lavi was clearly bored. She was picking at the ends of her hair the way she does when she’s ready to climb the walls. She had enjoyed the book but found after four hours she had hit her absorbing information limit and put on music.

Finally, she turned the music down and said, “So, Robert, whatcha thinking about?”

“Alligator.”

“Alligator?”

“Alligator.”

A few seconds passed, “What about an alligator?”

“I’m hoping to have some in New Orleans. I ordered five pounds last year and cooked it. It was good but I’ve never had it prepared by an expert. I was also wondering about something like chicken fried rice but with alligator meat.”

“You are a strange man. I love you but you are very strange.”

I shrugged. Suddenly the artificial sound of a camera shutter came from the back seat. Lavi turned around and said, “Who are you showing your coochie to?”

“Coochie?” I asked. I hadn’t heard that used in decades. Lavi ignored me.

Lavi didn’t wait for Melissa to actually reply, “I heard the camera click and your dress is pulled up.”

“Sheesh, you’re not being left out of anything you skank, I was just snapping with Kelly.”

“Kelly? Third block Kelly?”

Melissa giggled, “No, Miami Kelly.”

“Why are you sending Picnic Girl pictures of your, uh, coochie,” I asked.

“She dared me to take one in the car. I said I would if she would take one in the library, she’s studying.”

Suddenly Melissa’s phone dinged. “Awww, she shaves it into a cute little heart.”

Lavi, “Let me see.”

“I’m not sure that’s ethical. She sent the picture to me,” Melissa said. Looking in the rearview I saw her sticking her tongue out at Lavi who growled in response.

“Ask her,” Lavi said.

“Ask her what?”

“If I can see it.”

“Fine, I’ll ask.” There was a pause, and Melissa said, “She quid pro quo. She will send you your own but you have to trade.”

Lavi replied, “Sounds good to me.” She sounded delighted but then made a contemplative humming sound. Unlike Melissa who was wearing a yellow dress, Lavi had gone for tan khakis. That did not appear to be an insurmountable issue for her though as she started shimmying in her seat.

“What are you doing,” I asked.

“Getting out of,” several grunts followed, “my pants.” Sure enough, although it clearly wasn’t easy Lavi soon had the pants to her knees and from there it was done in seconds. “Watch out!” With that warning Lavi was reclining the seat so that she was stretched out at a good ninety-degree angle with her feet on the dash, legs spread. I was driving but glanced over, because, frankly I don’t know how not to look when a pretty girl is getting naked. She was wearing simple white panties but grinned as Melissa and I both looked on. She pulled her panties to the side and slid one finger along her outer lips getting them wet while she took the picture.

I looked around, we were driving along a long stretch, there were other cars in sight but none immediately around us so I reached over and gently slapped Lavi’s clitoris making her jump. “Oh fuck, do that again.” So I did.

Melissa, “Can I record?” She had her phone out and was leaning between the seats.

“Only if you send it to Kelly,” Lavi said.

“Go ahead,” I added. I drove steadily with one hand while the other was exploring Lavi’s opening. Lavi meanwhile played with her own clit. After a while, I saw a series of cars start to come up behind us. “You better cum baby, we’re going to have company.” I sped up a bit to keep the distance between us but that meant my gaining on some cars ahead of us I had been keeping pace with.

“Almost there, just don’t stop, just keep going.” She breathed heavily.

Melissa, “That’s it Lavi, cum on his hand. Anything you want to say to Kelly when I send this to her?”

Lavi, “Wish she was here?”

Melissa giggled and as she did Lavi let out a long sigh followed by “keep going, don’t stop, don’t stop, almost, FUCK YES” and she shook against my hand.

Then Lavi slumped back but Melissa squeezed her shoulder, “Sit up slut, we’re about to have company.” Sure enough, the cars were catching up so Lavi moved her seat back up and while she couldn’t get her pants back on she did drape them across her lap to at least cover everything up. I slowed down so that everyone passed us easily and then sped up to keep pace again. Meanwhile, Lavi was shifting around like an eel and discovering that putting pants back on in the seat was much harder than taking them off and eventually gave up.

Meanwhile, Melissa was hitting send on the video for Lavi. “Sent, along with your snap name.”

It only took seconds for Lavi’s phone to ping. Melissa was leaning over the seat. Lavi said, “She says she wishes she was here too and to hold on for a second.” The next two minutes passed as Lavi reset the book to where we had lost track of it and then she paused it as her phone pinged again. “Ooo ... the video isn’t very good but she’s spreading herself, wow, she’s a slut. I think I like her.” It pinged again. “Just text, it says, I don’t know R’s snap so this is for him.’” Then it pinged yet again. “Oh, wow,” Lavi said, “it looks like Kelly is using a pen to take care of herself at a study carol!” She was holding the phone up so Melissa could see. I reluctantly focused on the road.

Melissa giggled, “I think she’s jealous you had Robert’s hand here.”

“It’s his hands, there’s no substitute for big strong hands,” Lavi said.

I glanced over, “Is that a thing for women?”

“Oh yeah,” Melissa said and then asked me, “You don’t use Snapchat do you?”

“Nope, but I can make an account if it’s helpful. It would just be you and Lavi though.”

“And Kelly,” Melissa pointed out. I didn’t respond but I couldn’t say I disliked the idea.

We drove for a bit longer until a public rest stop came up and I pulled into a parking space at the far end of the lot so that Lavi could discreetly get out and pull up her pants. I parked so that Lavi’s door opened towards the woods and stood on the other side to make sure no one was watching. So, of course, Melissa proceeded to take pictures of Lavi sitting in the seat with her legs out the door pulling her pants up.

“Really,” Lavi asked, “you’re really taking pictures of this?”

“Every adventure should be remembered,” Melissa replied and blew Lavi a kiss. Once Lavi was decent we hit the bathrooms and walked around for a few minutes to stretch our legs. It was a little early but nearly lunchtime so we ate sandwiches while parked so that the driver didn’t have to eat while driving. I’d made my own corned beef and sauerkraut though the relish was store-bought and the rye came from a bakery. We sat at one of the picnic tables provided for travelers.

Lavi ate her sandwich slowly. “I love your corned beef. It makes me think of growing up.”

I asked, “Does Tel Aviv have good New York style delis?”

“Nah, not really, not that I remember but my zaydeh, grand-dad, is from Philly before he moved to Israel. Bubbeh was born in Israel but her parents were Greek jews. Anyway, he always missed American style delis so bubbeh learned to make a lot of the stuff for him. Then my dad grew up on it too. His dad being from the U.S. is part of why they wanted him to come to America for college.”

Melissa passed Lavi the plastic container with the extra sauerkraut I packed for her and she ate it with a fork making happy noises.

“What about you, Melissa? Your mom said your dad moved here, where were you born?”

“Kansas, Wichita. Every time the weather talked about tornados my mom mutters saying that maybe a house would finally fall on my grandmother.”

I asked, “A grandfather?”

“He passed away when I was really young. The big C. I only vaguely remember him and mostly as just being quiet while grandmother ranted but he seemed nice. My dad’s parents are still around, I get cards from them at Christmas but apparently, mom and they don’t get along. You?”

“No grandparents left. The last one passed away about three years ago. That was my dad’s dad but I didn’t really know him. He left my grandmother decades before, went out for a gallon of milk and no one saw him for ten years. I’m assuming that made reconciliation difficult.”

Melissa’s eyes bugged out, “Holy shit.”

Lavi was eating but paused to say, “Then your dad disappeared.”

Me, “Well, more than ten years in dad’s case, assuming he’s still alive somewhere but yeah, there’s a pattern there.”

Lavi, “You ever feel like that, like you’d just want to run away from it?” Melissa slapped Lavi’s arm. “Ouch!”

“It’s fine,” I said, “trust me, I’ve wondered what’s in my blood. But no, I’ve never thought about just cutting out and running. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed and have this stupid urge to do something violent. I have a bad temper but I fight really hard to keep in control.”

“I’m guessing you’ve known people who didn’t keep it in control,” Melissa said.

I nodded yes. No reason to go into depth there. Lavi pressed it though, “Your dad?”

I nodded again and took another bite of my corned beef. “He didn’t hit us or anything, I dont want to give the wrong impression. He would break stuff and yell but it was enough. He scared my mom senseless a lot. He and I had it out one time when I was back from college. He never raised his voice around me again. I only saw him a handful of times after that since I worked at the school and didn’t come home much.”

“Well,” Melissa said, “I think Lavi is winning for best-adjusted family.”

Lavi snorted. “Maybe but don’t be around for discussions of politics, you may not think it’s so harmonious then.”

That’s when Lavi’s phone beeped. “Oh, it’s Ji, she...” Lavi trailed off and put her hand over her mouth and then started slapping the table. Melissa grabbed the phone and started giggling herself. This left me to take the phone from Melissa to see what was so funny. The message had an animated gif of a man crying with one hand over his face. The message read, “mom went in with me for birth control, asked if they had an extra-strength kind.” I joined the laughter.

After everyone composed themselves we packed up and headed back to the car. We were just in when Lavi asked, “So, how often do you think Ji’s mom has jilled off to Robert at this point?”

“Lavi!” That was Melissa.

“Just saying, that much thinking about it and she has to have done it. Her husband is gone all week, no wonder the woman is interested in Ji’s sex life.”

Melissa held up a hand in a stopping motion, “Just, let’s not, all right?”

“Okay, okay,” Lavi conceded but didn’t sound the least bit contrite.

With that, we got in. Lavi took over driving and I got the back seat while Melissa took over the front. This way I could lay down and nap if I wanted to but I didn’t. I kept listening to the audiobook and got on my phone, looking at some cooking blogs and chefs I followed on Twitter. Melissa grumbled as she played her Wii.

“What are you playing?” I asked.

“Zelda, Breath of the Wild. Freakin, frackin’ boss JUST WON’T DIE!” She growled and sat it down and took some deep breaths. “I’ll be fine, it’s like a puzzle, I just have to figure it out.”

Lavi hit pause on her audiobook. “Oh yeah, have we talked about Halloween season yet?”

“That’s like two months away,” I said.

Melissa, “Which is just barely enough time. Halloween lasts two months in Lavi’s universe.”

Lavi, “I saw the box of Halloween decorations in your garage. Do you have more in storage somewhere?”

I shook my head and then realized they couldn’t see me. So I said, “No.”

Lavi sighed as if to say she was disappointed in me as a person. “We can make do.”

Melissa put her hand on Lavi’s arm, “We can buy a bit more each year and build up love.” Melissa turned to look at me in the backseat, “Halloween is basically Lavi’s time to treat me like her dress-up doll.”