Chapter 7: A Disaster in the Making

July 16, 1982, West Monroe, Ohio

"You're not seeing Katy tonight?" Mom asked on Friday morning.

"No. Her grandmother, who lives in Pittsburgh, fell and broke her hip. They were leaving this morning and won't be back until sometime next week."

"We haven't talked about you and Jocelyn since last Saturday."

"There isn't much to say," I said. "She and her parents are basically not talking. That's why we've been hanging out here, at the pool, or at Grant Park."

And Jackson Lake, but I didn't think I needed to tell my mom about that. I hadn't spent the night at Jocelyn's all week, and I was sure Mom had taken note. She hadn't said anything, but then again, I wouldn't expect her to. Well, not directly. Her comment about not talking about Jocelyn was her way of saying she'd noticed and that I hadn't said anything.

"Are you two doing OK?"

"I think so," I said carefully. "Why?"

"Because tension with either set of parents can cause significant problems in a relationship."

"So I've noticed," I sighed. "Why does life have to be so difficult?"

"You know what your grandfather says, right?"

"'Life is suffering'," I replied. "But I was hoping that mostly referred to life in Russia under the Tsars and Communists."

"I'd say the last year or so has proved him to be at least partially correct, even here in West Monroe, wouldn't you?"

"Unfortunately."

"I do need to warn you about something," Mom said conspiratorially.

"What's that?"

"Liz and Mindy are having a sleepover."

"I'll purchase some brackets and a two-by-four when I finish work today so I can bar my door," I chuckled.

"It's just a crush, Mike; she'll get over it."

"The sooner she does, the better. I mean, she's cute and all, but I don't need any MORE turmoil in my life!"

"What are you doing tonight now that Katy canceled your date?"

"I'm not sure. Jocelyn goes to visit her cousin in Dayton on Fridays because I'm usually not around. And obviously, Dale's not around. And none of my college friends live close."

"Is Angie still planning to visit in three weeks?"

"Yes. She'll take my room, and I'll use the sofa bed."

"May I make a comment?"

"Has my protesting ever prevented you from doing that?" I asked with a grin.

"No!" Mom laughed. "It's just that you seem very intimate with Angie, but it's like there's no spark."

I shrugged, "I was interested, but she shut me down. She has some problems, and as close as we are, there is literally nothing going on. She's not seeing anyone, and, honestly, I don't know if she ever will."

"She's going to be chrismated on Lazarus Saturday?"

"Yes. She'll start catechism in September with Deacon Grigory at Saint Michael."

"Have you given more thought to being a subdeacon?"

"Some. I guess my concern is that my life isn't very conducive to that role."

"Priests and deacons aren't sinless, Mike. And neither are bishops, for that matter."

"I know that quite clearly from things Father Herman has said over the years, but isn't there a difference? I'm intentionally sinning and have no plans to stop."

"So now you believe it's a sin?"

"Missing the mark of perfection? Yes, of course. But as we discussed last year, the issue is complicated. Not to the Church, mind you, but in my mind. And in yours."

"You discussed your failings with Father Nicholas, right?"

"Yes."

"And you were still asked to consider being a subdeacon, right?"

"Yes, but I do believe that it was expected that I would correct that failing before I was tonsured."

"Did you ask Father Nicholas?"

"I think I know his answer on that one. In fact, I'm sure I do. And the bishop's answer, for that matter. I think, for now, I'm not qualified. And before you give me the 'party line' about nobody being qualified, there's a difference, which I've pointed out. Sorry, but I need to cut this conversation short and get to work."

"I understand. Are you home for dinner?"

"Probably. If something comes up, I'll call you."

"See you tonight, then."

We hugged, and I headed out to my car for the drive to the hardware store. With Mindy spending the night at our house, I REALLY wanted to stay with Jocelyn, but that wasn't possible because of the situation with her parents. That reduced my options to zero unless I asked Dale's parents for asylum, which I was sure they would grant if they were in town.

"Morning, Mike!" Amelia called out as we both got out of our cars in the parking lot.

"Hi, Amelia. Ready for another exciting day at the hardware store?"

"It's a thrill a minute!" she laughed. "But I like having my spending money."

"And I like having my college money. Shall we go in?"

"Mr. Orlov will send the KGB after us if we don't!"

"He's a pussy cat," I grinned. "It's Mrs. Orlova you have to watch out for! Do NOT mess with Russian women. Especially Russian grandmothers!"

Amelia laughed, "We know who runs the church!"

"The «бабушки» (babushki), of course! I take it you've been warned?"

"Cross them at peril to my life? Yep!"

"That will be you someday!" I grinned,

"German-English-Irish girl? I don't even speak Russian!"

"It's all about the attitude," I grinned. "And you have one!"

"Hah!" she replied as we walked into the building.

We walked down the long aisle with the loose hardware towards the back of the store.

"This is the only place I know where screws are boring!" Amelia smirked as we passed the bins.

"Ms. Riley, that is VERY «некультурный» (nekulturny)!" I laughed.

"Very what?"

"Uncultured," Mr. Orlov laughed. "And Mikhail Petrovich is right. I've heard all of those hardware store jokes, and they are completely inappropriate, especially for a young woman!"

I suppressed a laugh as I saw Amelia roll her eyes. We went into the back to put on our red aprons and got our assignments — Amelia was assigned to run the register, and I was assigned to stock shelves and help customers.

"Carpenter's dream?" she giggled under her breath.

The answer to that most certainly didn't describe Amelia. She was just a bit shorter than I was and was a bit on the chunky side. Not fat, but lots of curves with a few extra pounds. The LAST word anyone would use for her would be 'flat'! She wasn't what I would call pretty or cute, but was what my grandfather would call 'pleasant looking' — just a typical midwestern girl with long brown hair, brown eyes, and a nice smile, all topped with a fun personality.

"Flat as a board and easy to screw?" I replied, having heard them all myself.

"A woman goes into a hardware store to buy a hinge for a door. She puts the hinge on the counter, and the clerk says, 'Excuse me, lady, you wanna screw for that hinge?' She replies, 'No, but the lawn mower is worth a blowjob!'"

I laughed, "VERY «некультурный» (nekulturny)!"

"I've worked here for a month, and I've been told every dirty hardware store joke, hit on by guys old enough to be my dad, actually been propositioned by a few, and been told to find a guy to answer questions because I'm a girl. I think I've earned the right to be whatever that word is!"

"They hit on you because they think they're studs?" I teased.

"Get out on the floor before I nail you!" she laughed.

"That's just plane silly!" I smirked. "I suppose I should bolt?"

"Go, you rake!" she insisted, laughing hard.

It was a busy morning, with the usual steady stream of contractors right after the store opened. They didn't need much help, which let me get the shelves restocked before lunch. After lunch, I worked in the stock room, receiving deliveries and responding to calls from Amelia when customers needed help. During a lull, I decided to continue the silly jokes from the morning. I walked over to the loose hardware bin, which was out of sight from where Amelia was at the register, extracted a fastener, palmed it, and walked back to the register.

"What are you doing tonight?" I asked.

"I didn't have any plans," she said.

I held out my open hand, "Wanna screw?"

Amelia smiled, "Sure!"

She paused just a beat before taking it from my hand.

I laughed, "You had me there for a second. I thought you were thinking something else."

"I WAS," she laughed. "You know what they say about Catholic girls!"

"Perhaps," I grinned.

"Are YOU doing anything tonight?" she asked.

"I don't have any plans," I said. "Why?"

"My parents are out of town for the weekend ... you could come over and ask me that question again."

"And your boyfriend?"

"Yeah, well, there is that little problem."

"Then perhaps it's not the best idea."

"You're right, of course. What was I thinking?"

"The same thing EVERY college kid is thinking!" I grinned.

"True! Seriously, though, would you want to do something? There's a new movie out that's supposed to be really funny. It's called Young Doctors in Love, and it's a spoof of hospitals from the same guys who made Airplane."

"Sounds good. What time should I pick you up?"

"6:30pm? Will that work?"

"Sure."

She wrote out her address and phone number and handed me the piece of paper. I knew where the street was, so I didn't need directions.

"I know this might be a bit lame, but do you mind if my sister tags along?"

"A threesome?" I teased. "What sane guy would refuse THAT?"

"Good thing there are no sane guys!" Amelia retorted.

"So why go to the movies with me if I'm not sane?" I asked.

"Insane is MUCH more fun!"

"True! And no, I don't mind if she tags along."

I went back to work, and a stray thought popped into my mind — Melody would be very pleased with my ability to be silly. And then reality slammed the door on that thought. She'd be pleased if she was speaking to me. I wasn't happy with how that had turned out, but I didn't have anything new to say to her, and she was adamant that I not call her until I did.

I left work promptly at 3:30pm, telling Amelia I'd see her at 6:30pm, and headed home to get my karate gear. After karate, I showered, joined the family for dinner, then headed to Amelia's house. She and Janey were waiting on the front porch, and after they hopped into the car, we headed for Rutherford.

"Thanks for letting me go with you guys, Mike," Janey said.

"You're welcome."

"Amelia said I owed you a screw!" she giggled, holding up the silver fastener.

"Cute," I chuckled.

"I am, aren't I?"

"Don't get her started, Mike," Amelia warned. "She's a bigger smart ass than I am!"

"I didn't start it!" I protested. "In fact, YOU started it!"

She laughed, "I guess I did. I thought it would be funny. Janey was game, and I was pretty sure you'd be a good sport about it."

"If she's a bigger smart ass than you are, she's WAY out of my league!"

"You seemed to hold your own in the hardware store," Amelia said.

"It's a new thing for me," I said. "I've been accused of not having much of a sense of humor and being coldly analytical."

"You played chess, for Pete's sake!" Amelia laughed. "That's not exactly a boatload of excitement!"

I chuckled, "Actually, it could be. A friend of mine told me about 'strip chess'."

"Now THAT might make it interesting!" Amelia said.

"Ooh! I'll play!" Janey offered.

"I don't think there's a way for three people to play chess," I chuckled.

"He's fun, Amelia!" Janey laughed. "Can we keep him?"

"What am I?" I asked with a laugh. "A lost puppy?"

"Most men are dogs!" Amelia laughed. "Or pigs!"

"Gee, thanks," I deadpanned.

"I was thinking more about the guys who hit on me at the hardware store who are old enough to be my dad. It's like I'm the first girl to ever work there!"

"You aren't; you're the third. Liz worked there briefly. She was the second girl. Right around the time I started working at the store, Mr. Orlov hired a girl, but it caused problems because none of the men would let her help them, so he stuck to hiring guys until recently. You're an experiment, I guess."

"It's funny because I took shop in Junior High," Amelia said. "And you didn't! But they come to you with questions when I know how to use tools better than you do!"

"I suppose it's because they know I have the right tool for the job!"

Both girls laughed hysterically. I was enjoying myself with the 'coarse jesting' and was having a lot of fun. My friends from school were right — it was WAY more fun to be like this than the 'stick-in-the-mud' I was before. We arrived at the theatre, and we each bought our own ticket. When we sat down, I ended up between the girls.

The movie was hilarious, and Janey pointed out some cameos by TV Soap Opera stars who I wouldn't have otherwise recognized. When it finished, we walked out to the car and talked about the movie for the drive back to the Rileys' house.

"I had fun!" Amelia said when I walked her and Janey to the door.

"Me, too!" Janey added.

"So did I," I agreed. "I really enjoyed the company! See you on Monday?"

"Sounds good!"

I walked back to my car for the short drive home. When I arrived, Mindy and Liz were making popcorn.

"Hi, Mike!" Mindy gushed.

"Hi," I replied in a neutral tone, wondering if I should have bought the hardware to bar my door. "Liz, where are Mom and Dad?"

"They went to see Grandpa and Grandma. They'll be home in a few minutes."

"OK. I'm going to my room. Let them know I'll be awake for a bit if they need anything."

"I will. Did you enjoy the movie?"

"It was really funny. You'd like it. I'm heading up."

I left the kitchen and went to my room, closing the door behind me. I put on The Game, by Queen, and settled down with Stranger in a Strange Land, by Robert A. Heinlein. It was my second time through the book because the first time, I hadn't really been able to 'grok' everything Heinlein was trying to say.

Mom and Dad did come to say goodnight, and just before midnight, I got ready for bed, climbed in, pulled the lightweight Summer blanket over me, and turned off the reading light on my night table. I put my head on the pillow, then remembered something important. I got up, locked the door, and then climbed back into bed and fell asleep.

July 17, 1982, West Monroe, Ohio

"What do you have planned for the day?" Mom asked at breakfast on Saturday.

"Just hanging out with Jocelyn, then Vespers, and my usual Saturday night date with Tasha. Why?"

"No reason; just curious. Did the girls give you any trouble last night?"

I shook my head, "No. I said 'Hi' when I arrived home, then went up to my room so I could avoid them. Any news from Grandma and Grandpa?"

"If there are two people more set in their ways than my parents, I don't know who they are! Changing brands of coffee would warrant four-inch-type headlines in the newspaper!"

I laughed, "So true! I think Grandpa has smoked the same pipe tobacco since I was little."

"Since I was little," Mom laughed. "It's Turkish, and I don't know that he's ever tried any other kind. It's the same for the tea you like so much. He's drunk that blend for as long as I've been alive, at least, and I gather since he came to the US. He orders it from a Russian import company in New York, which caters to émigrés."

I finished breakfast, showered, dressed, left the house without seeing either my sister or Mindy, and headed to Jocelyn's.

Jocelyn and I had taken to going various places to hang out because she didn't want to have to deal with her parents. At her suggestion, we drove to Rutherford to have coffee.

"Still no truce?" I asked.

"No. I think it's a stalemate, you know, like trenches during World War I."

"Are they giving you grief about us spending time together?"

"Only indirectly."

"You know, I was wondering, and maybe you don't know, but was your mom a virgin when she and your dad first had sex?"

"How the heck would I know that?" she asked.

"Sorry, my mom and I have talked about stuff like that, and I know the outline of her history."

"Seriously? Your mom told you about the guys she had sex with before she met your dad?"

"No details, just that she had done it."

"Why would it matter?"

"My dad had problems with the fact my mom wasn't a virgin. Mom had to talk him off the ledge about going after a previous lover."

"And you think that might be my dad's real issue?"

"It was just a stray thought," I said. "And I'm not sure you want to ask the questions to find out."

"Probably not. What did you do last night?"

"I saw Young Doctors in Love with Amelia and Janey, then locked myself in my room."

"Mindy?"

"She and Liz were having a sleepover. I considered buying brackets and a two-by-four to bar the door!"

Jocelyn laughed, "I have half a mind to tell you just to agree and see what she says!"

"The first part of that sentence tells all," I smirked.

"And that would STILL give me twice as many brains as you have!" Jocelyn laughed. "Why didn't you go out with Katy?"

"Her grandmother broke her hip. She and her parents left for Pittsburgh yesterday morning. She'll be back in a few days, I'm sure."