Chapter 65: Opening Eyes

April 9, 1983, McKinley, Ohio

"I still don't like the way Clarissa interfered last night," Kristin said on Saturday morning after we made love.

"You know how important church is to me, right?"

"Sure, but she didn't have to be a bitch about it!"

I took a deep breath and let it out.

"I don't see it that way. She was simply trying to point out an incontrovertible truth. When Holy Week rolls around, I'll be in church every evening from the Friday before Palm Sunday until the following Saturday, plus multiple services on Saturday, Sunday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. And I'm not skipping any of them for any reason."

"That just seems excessive."

"I don't think it is. I'm not asking you to go with me, though I did tell you that you were welcome to do so if you wanted. I haven't bugged you about it, and I won't. But I am going to go to church. You know I'm going to be ordained on Holy Saturday, and most of the gang is going to be there. You're invited, but I'm not insisting you be there.

"This is my life, Kristin, and it's not going to change. It really isn't a complicated situation, at least as I see it. We're not boyfriend and girlfriend. We're two people who are sleeping together. I ask you out on Fridays and Saturdays because I enjoy your company and need a date so as not to be the third wheel with Clarissa and Glenda. I can ask someone else if you want."

"No, it's just..."

"Kristin, if you like sleeping with me, please drop it. If you want to stop sleeping with me, you don't need a pretense."

"No, that's not it at all!" she said quickly.

I chuckled, "Remembered on which side your bread is buttered?"

"I guess it was two things — church just never was all that important, and the fact that Clarissa made such a big deal about it."

"You know how close we are; she was looking out for my best interests."

"Making sure you got your nookie?" Kristin laughed.

"That's one way to look at it, but also to make the point that if you upset me, this will end before you want it to."

"That might happen if you find a regular girlfriend."

"I'm not in the market for one, at least not in the near future."

"I was sort of surprised you didn't try to add another groupie to your stable last time. There were certainly girls who would have gone for it!"

"Am I wearing you out?" I smirked.

"No!" she laughed. "But it did kind of surprise me. I mean, I know what this is, and I sort of expected to be replaced or at least to have to take turns."

"Would you like to hear the honest truth about that?"

"I'm not sure I would, but go ahead."

"I was positive I'd made a huge mistake in seducing you. I changed my mind on that, sort of, but also vowed not to make that mistake again."

"Seriously? Why do you think it was a mistake?"

"Because it was wrong. I was wrong to seduce you that way."

"I basically threw myself at you! I wanted it! Hell, I probably wanted it MORE than you did! I don't think you did anything wrong at all."

"No, but I think I did, and that's what matters."

"But you decided to sleep with me again."

I nodded, "I did. It's complicated, but it made sense. But so does not seducing anyone else that way."

"I guess it fits you when I think about it. You're going to marry a girl from your church, aren't you?"

"Most likely, yes, though I could meet someone willing to become Orthodox. Why?"

Kristin laughed softly, "I was just thinking that if you wanted to do anything crazy, it has to be before you marry. And maybe we could do those things together!"

I shrugged, "I'm not sure I need to do anything crazy, nor am I sure girls from church would be quite as boring as you think."

"The offer is there, if you're interested."

"Who put these ideas in your head?" I asked. "I sure didn't!"

"My best friend's older sister goes to Ohio State, and she's part of a serious party scene. Anything goes. And I mean ANYTHING!"

"Absolutely not something I'm interested in," I said firmly.

"I'm curious, how far is too far?"

"I don't know, but it's not too far from where I am, I suspect."

"Would you play 'Strip Poker' with a bunch of people you didn't know?"

"Probably not."

"'Spin the Bottle'?"

"It's not something that really ever interested me."

"'Truth or Dare'?"

"Maybe, if I was comfortable with everyone AND the dares were limited. I guess the best way to put it is that I'm not into casually doing stuff with random people. I have enough trouble casually doing stuff with someone I know and like."

"Are you referring to me?"

"Any similar situation. There have been a few in the past. And a wild party scene is something I'd avoid, like the plague. Would YOU have made out with a random person just because some bottle pointed to them? Or do something more on a dare?"

"I guess it would depend on who was there, but it might be fun."

"It's almost time for breakfast," I said, looking at the clock. "I need to say my prayers, and we need to shower!"

"You think we stink?"

"I'm SURE we do," I laughed.

We got out of bed, and Kristin put on her robe, grabbed her clothes, and left. I pulled on a pair of shorts, said my morning prayers, showered, changed the sheets on my bed, and then headed to breakfast.

After breakfast, Clarissa and I went to sit in my bedroom and cuddle.

"How are you doing?" I asked.

"Great! It didn't go that far; well, not yet, anyway. I guess you'd call it second base, but I let her slip her hand inside my panties!"

"And?"

"I could get used to that!" Clarissa said with a soft laugh.

"Good!" I replied. "Kristin was a bit put off by you whacking her nose with a rolled-up newspaper."

"She was treading into VERY dangerous territory, Petrovich!"

"I know. I didn't say I was put off!"

"So what happened?"

"She calmed down, decided she didn't want to give up fooling around with me, and then offered to spice things up, I guess is the best way to put it."

Clarissa laughed, "She's talking to the wrong guy!"

"You know me too well, Lissa. So, you're happy?"

"Very. How did you feel your first time?"

I laughed, "Jocelyn read me the Riot Act about being so nervous! But it worked out OK once I got past a bad case of nerves."

"I can see you being dumb about it!" Clarissa teased.

"Gee, thanks!"

"I think you're mostly over your hang-up."

"Mostly."

"So it's all good with Kristin?"

"It is."

"So, what's up for today? Are your sister and her friends still going to be here for lunch?"

"Yes. It seems her friend Maggie is a bit freaked out by something she discovered in the Bible."

"So why come talk to you?"

I chuckled, "I challenged her to read the first two chapters of Genesis and make a chart of the order things are created in the two separate creation stories."

"What's the big deal? We know that's not literally true."

"You know that. I know that. Science knows that. Maggie doesn't know that."

"Oh jeez, she's one of THOSE!"

"Yeah. I could really blow her mind by inviting Robby and Lee and you and Glenda to lunch with us!"

"I have better things to do than be harangued by some Bible thumper over my sexuality."

"Kind of what I figured. I could REALLY freak her out with some other stuff."

"Now you have me curious. I never really paid that close attention when I was younger, and I never read the Bible."

I chuckled, "Well, I could just go straight to Ezekiel, where it compares the people of Israel turning away from Yahweh to a loose woman who wanted lovers who were hung like donkeys and who came like horses!"

"Oh, it does NOT!" Clarissa protested through laughter.

"It sure does. Ezekiel 23:20 says 'There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.'"

"You have that memorized?"

"Jocelyn showed it to me in tenth grade, and I found it hilarious, so I memorized it from her Bible. Some of her friends at church were looking for all the verses that were off-color, so to speak. I don't recall that one being read in my church!"

"I can see why not!"

"In Song of Songs, it talks about, if you'll please pardon the language, a wet pussy."

"I'd call you a liar, but after that other verse, I'm not so sure."

I pulled a Bible from the shelf and flipped to the correct page.

"'Your graceful legs are like jewels, the work of an artist's hands. Your navel is a rounded goblet that never lacks blended wine. Your waist is a mound of wheat encircled by lilies. Your breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle.'"

"I'm missing it."

"Think about it. Navel, waist, breasts? The first one is dripping, the second is a mound surrounded by lilies, and then breasts. What could this EVER be referring to."

"Oh my God!" Clarissa laughed. "I bet they don't teach THAT in Bible study at her church!"

"There's more stuff like that. For example, Naomi tells Ruth to uncover Boaz's feet, then lie down next to him and do what he tells her. In other words, have sex! To understand that, you have to know that the Old Testament calls urine 'the water of one's feet'. Nothing else makes sense if you think about it."

"You know," Clarissa laughed, "I might actually GO to a Bible study if you taught it!"

"My personal favorite is Paul getting pissed off at the early Jewish converts who wanted to go around circumcising the Gentile converts. Paul's comment is basically, why stop with the foreskin? Just cut the whole thing off!"

"It actually says that?"

"It's usually translated something like 'I wish they would go the whole way', but it's clear from the context what he means, and the Greek is explicit in demanding they cut off the member!"

"That girl's head is going to explode if you dump all this stuff on her. Why?"

"I wasn't going to use all of that. She challenged me, so I gave her homework to find all the places where the phrase 'by faith alone' exists. There is only one, and it's preceded by the word 'not'. She discovered that, and in our conversation, I challenged her on Creation. She believes, as we said, in literal, seven-day Creation. It's nonsense that even the Bible doesn't teach! But saying that wouldn't help, so I gave her the assignment I mentioned. There are complete contradictions, which I'm sure she found."

"So what's the point?"

"To get her to come to my ordination with Liz. That's where it started, really, when she basically accused me of being an idol-worshiping pagan."

"Oh, right, I forgot! The most Christian guy I know is the pagan, but the loony-tunes who believes the world was created in seven literal days and that God plans to send me straight to Hell, do not pass GO, do not collect $200, is the REAL Christian! Not!"

"That is how she sees it."

"Does she have a crush on you or something?"

"Liz says Maggie likes me, but obviously, there are some major impediments."

"Being a pagan fornicator who has homosexual friends?" Clarissa laughed.

"That about sums it up, though I don't think she knows about you or Robby and Lee. I made THAT mistake once already and won't make it again."

"But why hide it?"

"It's not about hiding it; it's about the right time and right place. Kind of like you picking the time to tell your parents?"

"Probably over the Summer. Do you think you could come up to Sylvania during the Summer?"

"For a day, sure; overnight, and I'd need to make sure the other RAs are there to cover for me. We'll work out whatever you need. There is a week between the end of exams and Summer session, and then a week between Summer session and Freshman orientation when I don't have to be here."

"Maybe that week before school starts? That way, if they completely lose it, I'm coming back to school right away."

"What about after that?"

"One step at a time, I guess."

"I'll do anything in my power to help, Lissa. I promise."

"Anything?"

"Anything."

She snuggled close, and we sat quietly together for about an hour before we went to find our friends.

Just before noon, I met Liz, Maggie, and Mindy at the diner. I was VERY happy Liz and Mindy had convinced Emmy to stay home, as I didn't think her being anywhere near Taft was a good idea. I knew she was considering Taft as an option for school and hoped she'd decide on Ohio State, Ohio University, or UC.

Liz greeted me with a hug, Mindy with a hug and a soft kiss, and Maggie with a hug and a peck on the cheek. The girls ordered burgers and fries while I ordered a salad.

"So, what did you find?" I asked Maggie.

"One account which is described in two different ways, with no actual contradictions."

I smiled, "I'm sure that's what your pastor said when you asked him, which isn't the question I asked. I wanted to know what you found. Did you make the chart I asked you to make?"

"I did," she said. "But my pastor..."

"Maggie," I said gently, with a friendly smile, "relax. Let me ask you a question, OK?"

"Sure."

"Jesus told lots of parables, right?"

"Yes, of course."

"And there were lessons to be learned from them?"

"That was the point, sure."

"Does it matter if there really WAS a specific 'Good Samaritan' or a specific 'Prodigal Son'?"

"What do you mean?"

"Would the lessons be any different if Jesus simply told a story to teach his followers something?"

"No, I guess not."

"OK. So, let me tell you what I believe you found, and you compare it with your chart."

Maggie nodded, and I continued.

"You found that there are two separate and distinct creation stories in Genesis that do not, and can not, line up if you read them literally. In Genesis 1:1 through 2:3, we find the seven days of Creation. In this story, there's no mention of Adam and Eve, and human beings are created on the sixth day after everything else has been created. In Genesis 1:27, God creates mankind, then in Genesis 2:1, it says Creation was complete, and then God rested. That's the first story. Agreed?"

"Yes, of course," Maggie replied.

"Then, in Genesis 2:4 through 2:25, we have the Creation of Adam and Eve. That's where a problem arises. This story specifically says that there were no plants on the earth when God created Adam and Eve. Only after God creates Adam does he plant the Garden. Once the Garden of Eden is planted, God notices that Adam is alone. That causes God to make all the animals and bring them to Adam to see if any of them are a suitable mate. By the way, I find that particularly amusing because God would know in advance that a lion or zebra or elephant isn't going to be a mate for Adam! Anyway, after all this, when Adam names all the animals, and God figures out that none of the animals are mates for Adam, God puts Adam to sleep and then cuts him in half."

Maggie's eyes went wide, and her mouth opened, but she didn't say anything for a few seconds.

"It doesn't say that at all!" she protested when she recovered.

I smiled, "Sure it does. The word isn't 'rib' like in your Bible, but 'side'. And that makes sense if you think it through — they were 'one flesh', then come together again to be 'one flesh' in sexual union. But that's another thing which we can talk about later. Now we come to the 'Fall'. We already discussed who Adam blamed, right?"

"God."

"Yes, and then God goes to Eve and asks her, and she blames the serpent. I can see the serpent looking around for someone to blame and saying «Дерьмо» (dermo)!' and having to take the full force of God's wrath. But it doesn't work out that way, actually. The serpent kind of gets off easy compared to Adam and Eve."

"What was that word?" Maggie asked.

Liz laughed, "It means something like 'damn' or 'O crap', right Mikey?"

"Yes," I chuckled.

"Why swear in Russian?"

"Did it offend you?"

"No, because I didn't know!"

"That's why," I grinned. "Anyway, where are we? We have Adam and Eve and a talking snake. That's it, right? Nobody else. Then Abel and Cain are born, and later, Cain kills Abel. God is angry and banishes Cain and puts a mark on him so that nobody will kill him. And that creates another question — who was around to kill Cain? Only Adam and Eve, right? So why did God need to give him a mark?

"Then, a bit later, Cain is in Nod having sex with his wife! What wife? Where did she come from? He has kids, and they all get married. But to whom? Seth hasn't been born yet. That doesn't happen until later. So, that leaves us with some VERY interesting questions — Who was Cain worried about killing him? Who did Cain marry? Who did Cain's kids marry? And why did he need to build a city? We just read that there were no other people except Cain, Adam, and Eve, according to a literal reading of the Bible."

Maggie frowned, "My pastor says this second story simply describes what happens on the sixth day."

"Even if we accept that, which I don't, where did Cain's wife come from?"

"It doesn't say."

"No, it doesn't, but that seems fairly important to me! Anyway, back to your pastor saying that the second story described the sixth day in detail. That simply can't be true. When were the plants made in the first story?"