Chapter 64: She\'s Right

April 3, 1983, McKinley, Ohio

"Hi, Mike!"

"Hi, Mrs. Landers."

"Come on in. Nancy is putting the finishing touches on dinner."

I hadn't said anything to Nancy about my fasting rule because I hadn't wanted to create any issues with their Easter dinner. I could have suggested a different day, but I elected to simply stick with my first suggestion.

"Thanks!"

"Your Easter isn't for another month, right?" she asked.

"May 8th, though our service starts about 10:30pm the night before."

"We went to midnight mass when I was little, but Nancy and I prefer the first morning mass at 5:30am. You only have one, right?"

"One liturgy per altar per day, yes. Your priests can do two, but there's no limit on the number of masses on a Sunday or Saturday evening, right?"

"Right."

"Hi, Mike!" Nancy said, coming into the room.

"Hi, Nancy."

We exchanged a quick hug, and she kissed my cheek.

"Dinner's ready!"

We sat down to a meal of ham, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread, and a salad. I ate without comment because my fasting rule could never override hospitality.

"Nancy tells me you might be working at the Quick Mart over the Summer."

"There's a very good chance of that, yes. I applied for an RA position for the Summer, and I'll be an RA in the Fall as well."

"And classes are going well?"

"Straight A's. Nancy, how are your grades?"

"One B. The rest are A's."

"How are things at the school district, Mrs. Landers?" I asked.

"Not much changes."

"Are you still seeing your gentleman friend?" I asked.

"Yes," she laughed. "Are you dating anyone?"

"Mom!" Nancy protested firmly. "Mike and I are just friends. Period."

"It's OK," I said with a smile. "She's a mom. They do that!"

"Sorry," Mrs. Landers replied with a smile of her own. "Changing subjects, Nancy also said you've given a couple of concerts."

"I was going to come to the one that was canceled," Nancy added. "I couldn't come to the rescheduled one."

"Sorry about that," I replied. "I had a minor emergency I needed to deal with. It's all resolved, but it meant I had to make a short-notice trip to Cincinnati."

"When's the next one?"

"I haven't scheduled one. We have a lot of extra services at church during Lent, and Holy Week will be crazy because there are services every day, and some days have multiple services. I think the next scheduled one will have to be in the Fall."

"Have you thought about doing a real concert?" Nancy asked. "You know, book the hall at school and sell tickets?"

"I don't think I'm anywhere NEAR that good! For now, I think I'll just stick to playing in the dorm."

"Do you write any music?"

I shook my head, "No. I don't think I have the skills OR temperament for that. I play mostly pop and soft rock, though there's a mix of other stuff thrown in. Basically, whatever Doctor Blahnik thinks I should learn, plus stuff I like. Billy Joel and the Beatles are probably the ones I play the most and, therefore, the best."

We finished our dinner and I offered to help with the dishes, which Nancy and I did together.

"Sorry about my mom's question," she said as we stood side-by-side at the sink.

"It really wasn't a big deal. You've made it clear she'd like us to date again."

"Date? She'd like us to get married! But every time we've tried to make it work, we run into roadblocks. It's safer to just be friends."

I nodded, "And if I'd realized that, things might not have gone so badly with Jocelyn."

"Badly? I thought you guys were friends again."

"That's right, you and I haven't really talked much since I stopped working for Mr. Sokolov. Jocelyn and I had a disagreement that turned into a nightmare where she won't even talk to me."

"But you two were perfect friends!"

"We were," I said. "And I blew it. At this point, all I hope for is that she'll talk to me and we can at least be friendly to each other. I just don't see much chance of restoring what we had before."

"I'm sorry that happened. I feel really bad for you."

"She's suffering the most," I said. "Well, I think so based on the little bit I know. You've seen the gang I hang out with. They've been super helpful, and so have some others who aren't in that smaller group."

"I heard Angie dropped out of school."

"Actually, she withdrew from classes for the semester. She's dealing with some health problems. Her mom was hoping she'd be back in the Fall, but that's kind of up in the air."

"I hope she's better. I finished my counseling, by the way."

"That's good."

"Do you want to hear something funny about that?"

"Sure."

"It was the fact that my mom started getting laid that kind of broke through my trust issues!"

I laughed hard.

"Did you tell her?"

"Yes. She laughed as hard as you just did. But my counselor basically attributed it to the fact that if my mom could trust a man enough to start sleeping with him, it sent me the message I could trust men as well."

"That makes some level of sense, actually, when you think about it."

"Mom also filed for divorce. I think she's actually considering marrying this guy."

"Good for her! How does the divorce work if your dad can't be served with the papers?"

"She put the last place she thought he was on the legal papers. Now, she has to run newspaper ads saying that the divorce was filed and give him time to respond. If he doesn't, she can get the divorce based on abandonment by simply stating he hasn't lived with us for over five years."

"What happens if he responds?"

"Well, if he doesn't object, then it just goes through. If he does object, then it gets tricky, according to Mom's lawyer. But everyone knows he left us, and that's sufficient grounds. Mom's not seeking any alimony or back child support or anything like that, so there really isn't anything to argue about."

"So once it's granted, she'll marry her boyfriend?"

Nancy shrugged, "She hasn't said, but I think so. It would make life a LOT easier on both of us if she did."

"Do you like the guy?"

"He seems nice enough, and if he makes Mom happy, I'm not going to complain. It's not like I'm looking for a dad at this point. I've managed without one for five years. Can I ask you about about your dating? I see you with that nerdy chick an awful lot."

"Clarissa? She's my closest friend. She's dating a girl named Glenda."

"Oops," Nancy laughed. "Sorry. I didn't realize."

"It's not like she wears a sign that declares her sexuality any more than you or I do! But there are a couple of girls I'm dating. One from church back home and one here in McKinley. Nothing serious at this point. You?"

"I hang out with some girls and guys I graduated with who didn't leave the area. Nothing serious, we just go out as a group, though everyone has kind of paired off. We're all just kind of having fun together."

"That sounds like my larger group of friends — there are pairs and dating, but the only one that seems serious is the one between my friends Jason and Fran. We all expect them to marry as soon as they graduate, if not before. The rest of us are more focused on school and just trying to enjoy what little free time we have."

"Paula said to say 'hello', by the way. She stopped in on Tuesday."

"How's she doing?"

"She likes her new job and seems happy. She's still looking for a dad for Carissa."

"No thanks!" I chuckled. "I have too many other problems. My ex-girlfriend from High School is in the same situation. She put the full-court press on me and used her baby, Chastity, as the bait!"

"Not very good bait for a college kid!" Nancy laughed. "I think Paula had FAR better bait!"

"April is pretty, and she did use THAT bait, too, but the baby was much more effective, at least for me."

"I suppose that shouldn't really surprise me, given your reaction to Paula. Most guys would have jumped at the chance!"

"There is more to it, you know! Not that I have an excellent track record of decision-making in that regard."

"You mean us?"

I shook my head, "No. We actually seem to have done a good job of acting like adults. I can't say the same is true for how I handled things with some other girls in the past year or so."

"But wasn't some of the stuff that happened between us, well, childish?"

"It's not the problems," I replied, "it's the solutions. You and I have navigated the problems to a place where we can both be happy hanging out together. I've had much worse luck with others."

I didn't list them, but Jocelyn, Janey, and April sprung immediately to mind. And to a lesser extent, Melody, as we'd at least come to a point where we were cordial and could hang out together in the same group. I'd almost blown it with Tasha, but we'd pulled back from the edge of the abyss just in the nick of time. And Angie, well, I had no idea what was going on there and wasn't sure that anyone did.

"Don't you think that's normal?" Nancy asked. "I mean, isn't that how you learn?"

"I suppose so, but that doesn't make it any easier!"

"Mom always says that you only truly learn when something very bad happens, and you work your way through it."

"Now there's a truly depressing thought," I sighed. "I'm not saying she's wrong, mind you, just that I wish it wasn't true."

"Same here, but I think it probably is. Here's the last plate."

I dried it and put it in the cupboard while Nancy rinsed out the sink. I took the drying towel to the laundry room and put it in the basket of dirty laundry, then went back to the kitchen.

"Mike, now that we've settled our relationship, if you wanted to stay..."

"As tempting as that is, I'm afraid it would make a mess of things."

"Because of Jocelyn?"

"Partly, but mostly because of me. I'm pretty good at messing things up, and I don't want to mess up our friendship."

"You think it would?"

"I think it could, and that's what concerns me. We're going to spend all Summer together, basically, and the last thing I want to do is go back to the way it was when we had problems."

"I suppose that makes sense," she sighed. "Are you upset that I asked?"

I shook my head, "Not at all! I'd say 'flattered' is the best word."

"Well, how about a hug before you go?"

I chuckled, "Using your feminine wiles and charms?"

Nancy laughed, "I just want a hug, you dope!"

We hugged tightly, then went out to the living room so I could say 'goodbye' to her mom. Nancy then walked me to the door, gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, and I walked out to my car for the drive back to campus.

"How was your date?" Clarissa asked with a silly smile when I went to her room.

"It wasn't a date. Nancy and I are just friends."

"So were you and Sandy!" Clarissa said lightly.

"Yes, but Sandy didn't have any designs on a permanent relationship. Heck, she freaked out a bit when I raised the topic."

"Have you seen Kristin yet?"

"No. Why?"

"I wondered if you'd let me sleep with you tonight. I've missed our time together."

"Want to hear something really strange?"

Clarissa smiled, "You'd rather sleep cuddled with me than have sex with Kristin."

"OK, now you're inside my head!" I laughed. "That's scary!"

"For you? Think about how scary it is for ME!"

"I can't EVEN begin to imagine! Grab your sleep shirt and toothbrush, and come on."

Clarissa smiled broadly, and a minute later, we walked down the hallway to my room. She left her sleep shirt on my bed, and then we went back down the hall to brush our teeth. Two minutes later, we were back in my room.

"I'll wait here while you change," I said.

Clarissa laughed softly and shook her head, then went into my bedroom and put on her sleep shirt. She put on a robe and stepped out of the bedroom while I put on some new pyjamas I'd bought while I was home — long, soft, cotton pants and a loose-fitting cotton shirt. When I was dressed, I opened the door to let Clarissa in and then closed and locked it.

"New jammies?" she teased.

"I could take them off," I grinned.

"Show and tell?" she laughed as we climbed into bed. "I've actually never seen the adult version. I used to babysit, but that's different."

"I'm not sure that's a good idea at this point," I replied.

"Wait for anatomy class?" she teased as she snuggled back against me.

"Human reproduction?" I teased as I put my arm around her.

"Oh God, not yet!" she laughed. "A baby? Talk about wrecking my plans!"

"So just practice, then!"

"Remember, Petrovich, you're the one who said we should wait. I agree with you, mind you, but it was you who insisted."

"Because you aren't ready for that, and you might never be."

"It's not that I think it's gross or anything; it just, well, holds no attraction for me. But what's weird is, I think with you, things would be more like I think they'll be with Glenda. Does that make sense?"

"As much as anything ELSE in this relationship does!"

"So I get into your head, and you get into my pants?" Clarissa teased.

"You know that's not the point, right?"

"Of course I do," she said, taking my hand and pressing it against the thin material which covered her firm breast. "Here's another strange one for you, Petrovich. The only guy who I would let do that is the one who won't."

"See, that's just it," I replied, giving her breast a gentle squeeze. "It's not about 'let'; it's about 'want'. Stick to our plan, I mean, assuming you still want to keep seeing Glenda."

"I do. I'm going to need your help with something soon."

"What's that?"

"Telling my parents," she sighed. "I can do it if you stand next to me and hold my hand."

"Just tell me when," I said. "I'll be there."

She snuggled even closer, put her hand over mine, and pressed it firmly, "Like that."

"I love you, Lissa."

"I love you, too, Petrovich."

April 4, 1983, McKinley, Ohio

"So, how were things at home?" Clarissa asked as we cuddled after waking up on Monday morning.

"That's going to take more than the five minutes we have before I need to run. How about after breakfast?"

"That doesn't sound good."

"Yes and no. I'll explain. But now I need to pray, run, and shower. Care to join me?"

Clarissa laughed, "The first one isn't really me; the second one, I think I'd collapse with a heart attack after about a minute; the third one, we'd get expelled!"

"Spoilsport!"

Clarissa stayed while I said my prayers, then left to shower and dress while I put on my running gear and headed outside. It was warm enough to run the route around campus that I'd run with Angie, and I realized just how much I missed her companionship. I'd felt it somewhat during prayers and in church, but running alone outdoors seemed to drive home the fact that she wasn't here. I wasn't sure why, but it did.

After my run, I showered, dressed, and joined the gang for breakfast.

"I missed you yesterday," Kristin said as we walked to the cafeteria.

"I was only at the dorm long enough to drop off Clark and my stuff, then went to a friend's house for dinner. I got back late and went straight to bed."

"It's OK; I wasn't complaining. You free tonight?"

"I should be, yes."

"Good!" she exclaimed, then leaned close and whispered, "It's been way more than a month since I started taking the Pill! No rubbers!"

"No complaints here!" I replied quietly.

"I would hope not!" she laughed.

At breakfast, everyone talked about their Spring Break, with the most interesting stories coming from Jason and Fran, who had gone to Florida. I wondered if I should have taken Dale up on his offer, though if I had, I would have invited Janey, and who knows how that might have turned out, even if she had been allowed by her parents to go. I was surprised there hadn't been some kind of response from her dad, but perhaps there had been, and it had been directed solely at Janey.

"So, what happened at home?" Clarissa asked when we got back to my room.

"Janey and I broke up, I managed to patch things up with Tasha, at least to a point; Jocelyn was home and not in good shape; Angie isn't in good shape either; and I decided I'm going to stay in McKinley for the Summer."

"Jesus, Petrovich! You were only home for a week!"

"I know, right?" I replied, ruefully shaking my head. "But all in all, things actually are where I think they need to be."

"So you and Tasha then? That's the end game? But what about us?"

"Tasha apologized for being judgmental, and we reset our relationship to one where, if her dad will allow it, we'll go on dates, but without her believing I had committed to a specific outcome."

"Which explains why your former boss thought you had made a commitment to Tasha."

"Yes. I wasn't thinking enough like a traditional Russian."

"God, there's a scary thought!" Clarissa laughed.

"Yeah, yeah," I chuckled. "But I didn't put two and two together properly in that case. What I considered dating, she and her family considered 'courting', and that's where the disconnect was. We're on the same page now. Well, Tasha and I are. Her dad probably isn't."

"So what happened with Janey?"

"I tried to have a discussion with her about our relationship, and it went straight to Hell over the disconnect she and I had over the priority of sex in the relationship."