Chapter 57: With A Little Help From My Friends

March 9, 1983, West Monroe, Ohio

If Tasha hadn't already been upset by Clarissa, Robby, and Lee, her face showed she was beyond livid with me now. The kiss Janey and I had exchanged wasn't just a peck on the lips but the kiss of a boyfriend and girlfriend, if not lovers. And Tasha had seen it. She knew I dated, but she didn't know I was involved with Janey to that degree. And given the spat Tasha and I'd had the previous night, I could imagine all the evil thoughts going through her head.

I briefly considered going after Tasha, but I didn't have permission to be in the school building, and even though I could easily walk in, the last thing I needed was someone calling the Sheriff. There was also the problem of not having any idea what I could possibly say to Tasha. If I'd put an impediment in our way the previous evening, I'd just blown up the bridge. With me on it!

I put the car in gear and pulled away, wondering if Janey had seen Tasha. I didn't think she had, but I wasn't sure. And nothing would prevent Tasha from confronting her, or worse, taking the issue to Mrs. Orlova. If I thought I was in trouble with Tasha, I was going to be in serious hot water with the «бабушки» (babushki). I checked my watch and decided I had time to stop home and talk to Mom. Dad and Liz would be gone, so we'd have a few minutes alone before she had to leave for work.

"Mike? What are you doing here?" Mom asked when I walked into the house.

"I'm not sure if I could have screwed up worse than I did this morning."

"What could possibly have happened during breakfast with the Rileys?"

"Nothing. On the other hand, I drove Janey to school, and before she got out of the car, she gave me a nice kiss. A VERY nice kiss. And someone saw."

"Tasha," she said flatly, which made me feel even smaller than I already did.

"Yes," I replied, chagrined. "I think you might want to start planning my funeral. If Tasha doesn't kill me, Mrs. Orlova certainly will."

"You've put your foot in it this time, Mikhail Petrovich."

"Thank you for stating the blindingly obvious," I sighed.

"I'm not sure I have any advice for you this time. She was upset with you to start with, though that could probably have been solved. Being seen kissing another girl — a girl from church — seems to me to cross the uncrossable line."

"I'm not a complete «глупец» (glupys)! I do realize that." ("blockhead")

"So why did you stop home?"

"I suppose more to warn you than anything. I suspect Mrs. Orlova will have a few choice words for you about my behavior."

"That's one way to put it," Mom agreed with a grim look. "Well, what's done is done. All you can do now is wait."

"Why do I feel like I'm sitting at ground zero?"

"Because you painted a huge target on your back!"

"Yes, but YOU know that my opinion of things with Tasha has changed over the past year."

"I think you're experiencing the feeling of wanting something so badly and not being able to have it, to then having it, and it wasn't quite what you thought it would be."

I shrugged, "Maybe. I'm not exactly sure what I thought it would be. SHE was always sure we'd marry, but I never was. The whole thing with Jocelyn, from start to finish, changed me in ways I never expected and led to circumstances I never expected."

"Trauma does that, Mike. You didn't suffer it directly, but when someone you love is in a very traumatic situation, it affects you deeply and changes you."

"Liz."

"And you know the results of that, at least insofar as they affected you directly, as well as your relationships with your dad, Liz, and me."

"Well," I sighed, "now that I've made a complete mess of things, I think I'll head back to school."

"I think at this point, you need to decide what Tasha means to you and then take the appropriate steps."

"I know."

I hugged her and then left the house for the drive back to McKinley.

March 9, 1983, McKinley, Ohio

"Not bad, Petrovich. Out of my sight less than twenty-four hours, and you managed to totally screw things up back home!"

Clarissa and I were sitting in my room on the couch after lunch as we usually did, close but not cuddling.

I shook my head, "Actually, the more I've thought about it, the more convinced I am that there was going to be a blowup at some point. I'm not sure Tasha could ever accept me having close friends who were gay or lesbian."

"Could that cause you trouble with the bishop?"

"Breaking up with Tasha? Or whatever you want to call it? No, not really. I told him Tasha and I weren't a couple. And if you mean having homosexual friends, when I talked to my mom, I pointed out the fact that you, Robby, and Lee actually CAME to church. Would shunning you and condemning you have been a better option? Heck, you three are going to come to church again when I'm ordained. And you even offered to go with me sometimes. How the heck can the bishop object to THAT?

"I mean, sure, he could, but think about the message that would send — 'sinners not welcome here'. Or worse — 'your sin is SO bad you are not redeemable'. There's a significant problem with that last statement because, in the end, it denies God's ability to save sinners, which is, ultimately, the ONLY unforgivable sin."

"I'm curious if you think I have to stop 'sinning' to go to Heaven?"

"If that's the criterion, nobody is in Heaven. In the end, the only question that matters is do you love God and do you believe He can save you from death. If the answer is yes, then you go about your life, loving and worshiping God, doing your best to live up to the Gospel, understanding that you'll fail. Think of it this way — if you're a parent, and your kid does something wrong, do you banish them from the house forever with no chance of ever returning? Or do you love them and gently correct them?"

"That's an interesting analogy," Clarissa said. "Saying God sends you to Hell for some sin or other makes him worse than the average parent!"

"Does that sound like a god who is worthy of worship?"

"No."

"It could be worse — a god who determines, before Creation, that some people are going to Hell with no chance of salvation, no matter what. Think about THAT one. That 'god' creates people for the express purpose of sending them to Hell, which supposedly demonstrates his justice. That's what that preacher running around campus believes! I'm sorry, but that 'god' would be so evil, he'd make Satan look like an altar boy!"

"Are you trying to tell me something, Petrovich?" Clarissa smirked. "Is your REAL name Lucifer?"

"I did have devil's food cake last night," I grinned. "So you never know!"

"So besides pissing off a Russian girl who's very likely to come after you with a skinning knife, how are things at home?"

"OK. My dad is still my dad. My mom, on the other hand, is still my mom. When I told my dad about you, I got grief about it. When I told my mom about it, she asked the exact same questions, but the tone was subtly different. She just wanted to make sure I had my ducks in a row; Dad, well, he has the same opinion as Tasha, albeit from his Calvinist upbringing."

"So your mom is OK with it?"

"I don't think 'OK' is the right way to put it. My mom knows I won't condemn you, and she knows she shouldn't, either. She has a bit of the Russian Puritan streak in her, but it's been tempered by listening to the homilies and, to be a bit self-promoting, listening to me. She agreed completely that you, Robby, and Lee coming to church was a good thing, and at that point, it was between you and God, just as my sins are between me and God. When I become sinless, then I'll worry about someone else. Personally, I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for that to happen!"

"But Janey seems OK with it."

"With HER, I asked if she had any concerns with me helping you have a baby some day. She didn't, so long as you don't expect to conceive via intercourse if I was married to her. Personally, I think that's a very reasonable position!"

Clarissa laughed, "I don't think you'll find too many women who would be OK with their husbands having sex with another woman for ANY reason!"

"I believe you are correct in that assessment!"

"So she'd agree?"

"Provisionally, yes. Obviously, we're talking probably seven or eight years from now, and who knows what our situation will be. I don't think she can promise more than that, but I think that's enough. You know she doesn't have an issue with your sexual orientation from our double date. That was the big hurdle to cross."

"One Tasha couldn't."

"That's right."

"I'd say Janey has the inside track, then. Orthodox? Check. Tolerant? Check. Wants kids? Check. Gets along great with you? Check. A good sex partner? Check. Am I missing any boxes to check?"

"That I'm sure she's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with? There's only one person I feel that way about right now."

"Me?"

"You."

That evening, while I was studying, Clark came to tell me that I had a phone call. I excused myself, went to my room, and picked up the handset.

"Mike," I said into the handset.

"Holy shit, Mikey!" Liz exclaimed. "What did you do?"

"Probably any number of stupid things," I said cautiously, knowing what she most likely meant. "Which one are you referring to?"

"Janey and Tasha! They BOTH got sent to the principal's office!"

"«Говно» (gavno)," I sighed. "What happened?" ("shit")

"A catfight! Well, no, I suppose not really, because they weren't pulling each other's hair or slapping each other, but oh my God, was Tasha PISSED! She was screaming at Janey, though two-thirds of it was in Russian, and she was speaking really fast, so I can't be sure what she said, but holy cow! What happened?"

"I drove Janey to school after breakfast. She gave me a very nice kiss before she got out of the car. Tasha saw."

"Which explains why Tasha was so angry. Janey was mostly calm, but she said some pretty nasty things to Tasha, and I think that's what got her in trouble."

"Such as?" I asked warily.

"I only heard part of it, but one thing was that it wasn't Janey's fault that Deacon Vasily has been acting like a jerk and not letting Tasha date. But what set Tasha off was Janey saying that if Tasha couldn't keep her man, it wasn't Janey's fault."

"Wonderful," I sighed. "What happened?"

"Because they didn't actually fight, only a week's detention. You know, segregated lunch where they have to eat alone and can't go outside or to the gym, plus an hour after school. I don't know for sure, but that usually means a parent conference, if you remember."

"Yeah. As Mom said when I stopped home this morning, I've really put my foot in it this time!"

"Suddenly, I'm thinking my suggestion about Maggie was even MORE right than I thought last night."

"Thanks for calling to let me know. I think I'll call Janey and see what she has to say. Her parents seem to be sane."

"Deacon Vasily is going to go ape over this. Not to mention Mrs. Orlova. I heard Tasha use her name, though I didn't totally hear what she was saying."

"Swell," I sighed. "Let me call Janey."

"Let me know if you want Maggie's number!" Liz teased.

We hung up, and I dialed Janey's number. Her mom answered.

"Hi, Mrs. Riley. This is Mike. I'm hoping you'll allow me to speak to Janey, please."

She laughed softly, "Yes, of course. One moment."

Janey came to the phone about thirty seconds later.

"Hi," she said, laughing softly.

"I'm glad YOU find it amusing," I sighed.

"Well, at the Riley household, there aren't any major concerns, and I can deal with the minor ones."

"Oh?"

"Mom is going to see the principal tomorrow, but don't worry, she's totally cool about this."

"Implying your dad isn't."

"He's not happy that I didn't just walk away from Tasha and instead got into a heated argument. But it wasn't REALLY an argument because I would have needed a translator for that to happen!"

"That's what Liz told me."

"Anyway, in the process of trying to explain everything to my parents, I explained the relationship as best I could and, in the end, admitted that you and I have been intimate. Dad wants to talk to you, 'man-to-man' as he put it before we go out again."

"Wonderful."

"I think it'll be fine, Mike. Once he said that I admitted that you weren't the first, and there were two other guys before you, which I think took a bit of the heat from you and put it on me. Mom's sympathetic, so I think by the time Spring Break rolls around, Dad will have accepted reality, and he'll just have a talk with you about treating me with respect and satisfying himself you aren't just using me. That was part of his concern, obviously, given you're seeing Tasha as well."

"OK, I can see that. It sounds as if it's going to be uncomfortable but manageable."

"I think so."

"Janey, did you REALLY have to taunt Tasha by saying it wasn't your fault if she couldn't keep her man?"

"Your eyewitness didn't get the full conversation? Was it Liz?"

"Yes, it was Liz; and no, she didn't."

"Tasha called me a slut. It was in Russian, but the tone of her voice and the way she spat it at me and the context made it totally clear."

"«Шлюха» (shlyukha)?" I asked.

"That's what it sounded like, yes."

"It's what her dad called both Tasha and her sister, or implied it, really. What did she say?"

"She asked how it felt to be that word because you had promised to marry her. You didn't make that promise, did you?"

"Never," I said. "We talked about it, but I always said we'd have the serious conversation after she graduated, and that I wasn't making any promises about that before then, and that I wasn't guaranteeing that was what would happen."

"I'm sorry I responded that way, but I didn't appreciate being called a whore or a slut because I'm intimate with you and only you."

"Not defending her, but from her perspective, you're sleeping with HER man, which makes you that. I don't agree, obviously, but that's how she sees it."

"I was really surprised she reacted that way, given what you said happened last night."

"Me, too," I said. "When I left her house, she was responding with clipped, one-word answers and didn't hug me 'good night', even though her dad wasn't eyeballing us at the time."

"So now what?"

"I sure as heck can't call there now," I said, "so I have no idea what's going on at her house. I am absolutely sure I'll get the blame for all of this, and in a sense, I deserve it because I kissed you this morning. And no, I am not regretting that for one second. I do regret that Tasha saw it because it's kind of like rubbing her nose in it. You even made that point, according to Liz."

"I did. I'm OK with apologizing to her for being nasty, but not about our relationship."

"Which is what I would expect," I said. "I might wait a day or two, though."

Janey laughed softly, "I'm not sure that white-hot rage is going to dissipate in a day or two!"

"Me neither. Sorry about the detention."

"Whatever! I was a bit worried it might mess things up between you and me, but after I thought about it, I was fairly sure it wouldn't."

"So long as I can navigate whatever minefield your dad lays for me, I think we'll be OK."

"He's a pussycat," Janey said with a soft laugh, then added quietly, "He's just upset that my pussy has been around a dick before a ring was around my finger!"

"You are bad, Janelle Catherine! I chuckled.

"If we can find a way at Spring Break, I'll show you just how bad I can be!"

"Talk to you next week?" I asked.

"Sure. If something major happens, I'll call you."

We said our 'goodbyes', and I hung up, then went back to the study group, slightly relieved but aware there might be more fallout.

March 11, 1983, McKinley, Ohio

"What time is your concert tomorrow, Mike?" Glenda asked on Friday evening.

"We'll start at 9:00pm," I said. "That gives me time to go to Vespers and then relax a bit when I get back to the dorm. It's only two sets, so we'll be done about 10:00pm."

"What are you singing?"

"Mostly Billy Joel and the Beatles, though Kristin browbeat me into learning to play Every Woman in the World and Endless Love. Sophia is actually going to sing that one with me."

There had been a nice side benefit to practicing with Sophia — we had a couple of our special cuddle sessions afterwards.

"I couldn't carry a tune if you gave me a box to put it in," Kristin laughed.

"How the heck did you get Petrovich to agree to THOSE two songs?" Clarissa asked.

"I asked nicely," she said. "Of course, WHEN I asked might have had something to do with it!"

Both Clarissa and Glenda laughed.

"I know him well enough that he didn't give in easily!" Clarissa declared, causing all of us to laugh.

"Clarissa says that after Sunday, you won't eat meat again until your Easter celebration," Glenda said.

"That's right. And then after the next Sunday, in theory, no animal products of any kind. But I have «ekonomia» — the English word that probably fits best is 'dispensation' — to have milk, butter, cheese, and eggs because otherwise eating in the cafeteria would be nearly impossible. And if you want to go the whole way, no wine or oil, either."