Chapter 48: Family Secrets

February 4, 1983, West Monroe, Ohio

"Emmy?! What are you doing here?"

"She came to talk to me," Liz said quietly from behind me.

"OK. Is there anything I can help with?"

"No."

"You know, if her dad finds her here..."

"I know. Just go upstairs, OK? I'll come talk to you later."

I nodded and went upstairs. The door to my parents' bedroom was closed, and I didn't see any light leaking from under the door, which meant they were most likely asleep. I stopped in the bathroom to brush my teeth, then went into my room and shut the door. Emmy had taken a huge risk coming to the house, and the fact that I was home put me right in the middle of it. But there wasn't anything I could do about it.

Liz had said she'd come to talk to me, and I wondered how long it would be. I tuned my radio to the 'classic rock' station and pulled a Star Trek novel from my bag. I sat down on the floor and leaned against the bed. About five minutes had passed when I heard fingernails scratch across the door, so I got up and opened it.

"Hi!" Mindy whispered. "Liz told me the code!"

I laughed softly and shook my head. I let her into my room and shut the door behind her.

"Liz said she's coming to talk to me in a few minutes," I said quietly. "Do you know what's up with Emmy?"

Mindy nodded, "Yes, but I can't tell. She made me swear. How are you, Mike?"

"Good. You?"

"Good. I was ticked about that dumb rule at your college!"

I nodded, "I know. But once February is over, I don't have to be quite as paranoid. It's still a concern, though, because I really don't want a run-in with the dean who's been on my case since everything that happened during Freshman year."

"You mean with Liz?"

"Yes. I guess she's told you everything?"

"Pretty much. So I can't visit you?"

"You and Emmy can't be in the dorm room, or even upstairs, as long as you're under eighteen."

"That stinks! You don't come home very often, and I wanted a chance to be with you again. I hoped we could tonight, I mean, if you wanted to, but I guess we can't because you said Liz is coming to talk to you."

I grinned, "I think she might be a bit put off to come in and find us in bed together."

Mindy laughed, "I thought she was going to puke when I was telling her about how awesome it was!"

"What did you expect?" I said, shaking my head. "She's my sister! Would you want to hear about Brett's conquests with YOUR friends?"

"Uh, no," she said, making a face. "That would be gross. Fortunately, my friends thought he was as disgusting as I did."

"And if you thought that..."

"I know. It was fun teasing her. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Did you really like it with me?"

"Yes. Why would you think I didn't?"

"I don't know. I guess because you don't seem very interested in doing it again."

"Part of it is that I don't want you to get the wrong idea."

"You mean, like I would think you were my boyfriend?"

"Yes."

"It would be totally cool to have a boyfriend who was in college, but I remember what you said. I mean, if you asked me, I'd say 'yes', but I know you won't ask."

"Is that something you were hoping for? And I'm not saying it would upset me. I just want to know what you were thinking."

"At first, when I was thirteen, I had a crush on you, and I wondered what it would be like to kiss you. But then, right before the end of Freshman year, I started having this funny feeling when I thought about you. Kind of like a tickle, and I bet you can guess where!"

I smiled, "I can."

"One night, it got so bad I started rubbing that spot, and holy cow! Once I discovered THAT, I wanted YOU there. I thought about what it would be like to be your girlfriend and be under the covers with you, doing stuff. I was working up my courage to talk to you, and then you started dating April Nash. And you guys stayed together your whole Senior year.

"Right after school got out, I heard you broke up with April, but my family went to Canada for a month, and by the time I was back, you were dating Emmy and had promised to do it with her when she turned sixteen."

"She told you?"

"She tells me everything! Anyway, Emmy absolutely forbade me trying to be with you, either as a girlfriend or just have you do what I'd been dreaming about for three years. Then all that stuff happened with Liz and Emmy's dad found out about Clark being your roommate. She couldn't see you again, so I told her I wanted a chance. She'd told me about how good it was and the stuff you guys had done, and I wanted that SO bad I got into your bed naked!

"I was so bummed when you made me leave, but Liz talked to me and tried to explain. I mean, she hated the idea that I would be with you, but she told me about how you treated girls, and how sweet you could be, except to her, and that you were worried about what I was thinking."

"I hope she's told you I've been nice to her lately!"

"She did. That's why she's not upset that we fooled around, and she won't be upset if we keep doing it. She said you deserved a reward!"

I laughed softly, "I'll remember to thank her."

"Anyway, your mom was really stern with me about staying away from you, but that only made me want you even more."

"One day, parents will figure out that the quickest way to get a kid to do something is to tell them not to do it!"

"Except it doesn't work that way," Mindy laughed. "If my mom were to tell me not to clean my room, I'd just say, 'Cool!' and not do it!"

"I was thinking more along the lines of things they don't want us to do. Sex being the main one."

"When you have a tickle like I had, it's not like what my mom or dad said mattered AT ALL!"

"I believe it!"

"Anyway, then things changed between you and Liz, so on New Year's, I decided to go for it without asking you for anything other than to make me feel really, really good. And you did! A bunch of times! It was like a dream come true. My fantasy was fulfilled, and I wanted to keep doing it forever. You know, never, ever get out of bed!"

"Food? Water? The bathroom?"

"OK! For those! And probably showers!"

"And to wash the sheets."

"OK! OK! It's not practical, but you know what I meant! I told Liz how good it was, and later, I bragged to Emmy about doing it all night!"

"Of course you did!"

"Do you know she thinks you're better than Clark?" Mindy smirked.

"Too much information!"

"Bigger, too!"

"WAY too much information!" I protested, wondering how I could use THAT revelation against my roomie!

There were fingernail scratches at the door, so I got up and opened it. I stepped aside to let Liz and Emmy inside, checking to make sure the lights in my parents' room were still off. I shut the door behind them, and we all sat in a circle on the floor.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Emmy's pregnant," Liz said quietly.

"«Говно» (gavno)!" I exclaimed a bit too loudly. I forced myself to whisper, "Clark?"

Emmy nodded, "I think it has to be. What did you say?"

"That means 'shit'. Usually, I'd use «дерьмо» (dermo), which means 'crap', but «говно» (gavno) is more emphatic. You're sure?"

Emmy nodded, "I was with the guy I'm dating before Thanksgiving, but I had my period a day after we were together."

"And you were with Clark sometime in December."

"The 11th. I was supposed to have my period right before Christmas. I missed my second one, so I got one of those EPT tests."

"I'm sure I'm stating the obvious," I said quietly, "but this is bad."

Which was the understatement of the year, or the century, or more likely, the millennium. And given what the potential consequences were, there was only one possible solution. A solution I absolutely deplored, but one that simply had to happen. The alternative outcomes were simply too ugly to contemplate.

"You can't have the baby," I said gently after a moment's silence.

"Mike?" Liz asked, her surprise obvious. "But..."

"We can have a theology debate later," I said firmly. "Emmy, if your dad even discovers you're pregnant, he'll go insane. If he finds out who the dad is, he'll start killing people. I'm afraid he'd kill you first, then Clark, then who knows who else."

"I know," Emmy said quietly, a tear dripping down her cheek.

"You can't tell Clark, either," I said.

"What?!" Mindy gasped.

"Nobody should know. Heck, I shouldn't know! I'm sorry if I overstepped my bounds, but I believe having the baby would end in disaster." I took a deep breath and let it out, "And Emmy, you simply can't see Clark, either. Never again."

"I know. Will you help me?" Emmy begged, tears running down her cheeks. "Please?"

"I don't know how it works for sure, but I think from when I took Liz to the clinic for tests, you need a checkup first, then they have a counselor talk to you, and then they schedule it. I'm not totally sure, but I seem to recall that from part of the form we didn't need to fill out."

"What about paying?" she asked, sobbing lightly. "I don't have much money, and I can't ask my parents!"

"The clinic offers some free services if you can't pay, but I don't know what that means. You're going to have to go for a checkup first. If you can't afford it, tell them."

"I can help," Mindy said.

"Me, too," Liz said.

I wanted to offer help, but that was too close to participating in an elective abortion for my conscience, and I'd have to confess it, and that might cause no end of trouble. I was reasonably sure they weren't going to charge her, or if they did, it wouldn't be more than Liz and Mindy could help with. If it was, I might have to reconsider.

"I can drive you," Mindy said. "Liz, do you know how to get to the clinic?"

"It's in Rutherford, maybe half a mile from A&W, across the street from the hospital," Liz replied.

Emmy scooted close to me and whispered, "I'm scared."

I put my arm around her, and she put her head on my shoulder. She was obviously frightened out of her wits, both by her pregnancy and by the looming abortion, not to mention her dad's reaction should he ever discover what had happened, even after the fact. I hadn't specifically been worried about her getting pregnant, but that certainly was a surefire way to have her dad go on a multi-county murder spree.

I nearly jumped out of my clothes when the door opened without any warning.

"What are you kids doing?" Mom asked obvious concern in her voice.

I had to try to deflect questions because the more people who knew about this, the riskier the situation became. And truthfully, it wasn't about Liz, so it wasn't directly my mom's business. I wanted her advice badly, but there was no way I could get it.

"Don't you knock?" I asked.

"Not after midnight when the girls' room is empty, and your light is the only one on in the entire house! What's Emmy doing here?"

"Well, given Liz is with us, we sure as heck aren't playing 'Spin the Bottle'!" I said with a smirk. "Nor were we having a threesome!"

"Don't be «некультурный» (nekulturny), Mikhail Petrovich!" ("crude")

"We just needed to talk to Mike," Liz said. "Nothing is going on."

"In his room? After midnight?"

"The walls have ears," I said flatly. "Or rather, the heating vents do."

Mom gave me a hard look, but Liz was laughing, which I was sure indicated to Mom that Liz already knew.

"I see you shared my secret," Mom replied tersely.

"Remember when I said that I love my sister? I do."

"Mom, seriously," Liz said. "Emmy needed some friends, so she came to talk to me, and then we came to talk to Mike."

"Mom," I said gently. "Emmy and I aren't involved at all. And I told you Mindy was good when I was home at Christmas."

I kept a straight face, but both Mindy and Liz were struggling to do so. Mom couldn't see their faces directly because they mostly had their backs to the door. And Emmy was in no state to laugh.

"What's wrong, Emmy?" Mom said.

"Just some stuff at home," she sniffed.

"Well, if you need help, ask. We'll do our best. You kids should really get to bed. Is Emmy staying, Liz?"

"I can't," Emmy said. "If my dad finds out I'm here, he'll be really angry."

"I went and got her, Mrs. L," Mindy said. "I'll take her home before I go to bed."

I was wondering how Mindy knew to go get her but realized they could have arranged it earlier so Emmy didn't have to call. And it made sense because Liz could send Mindy when Mom and Dad went to bed, and the timing lined up, at least as best as I could guess.

"OK."

"I need to talk to Mikey," Liz said. "I'll go to bed when Mindy gets back."

"All right," Mom said, giving me a look which told me I'd be questioned in the morning.

She closed the door, and the four of us stood up. Emmy hugged me tightly, and I kissed her forehead, and then she and Mindy left my room. Liz closed the door behind them, and we sat down, leaning against my bed.

"When did YOU get like that, Mikey?"

"Like what?" I asked with a grin.

"'Mindy was good when I was home at Christmas'?" she laughed softly.

"A true statement. I can't be responsible for Mom's misunderstanding, can I?"

"Too funny! And a threesome? YOU? No way!"

"Excuse me?" I replied in mock offense.

"I just can't see my big brother doing something THAT crazy."

"Neither can your big brother," I said. "But not for lack of multiple opportunities!"

Liz laughed softly, "Maybe I should go to college after all!"

"I thought there was only Paul!"

"I was teasing. I was looking at junior college and maybe getting a primary education certificate. I could teach kindergarten or be a substitute. And maybe later get my degree and be a full-time teacher. My other option would be accounting."

"I think either of those would be a good plan."

"Paul suggested them."

"Then Paul has more brains than I thought," I replied.

"You get all moral on him for cheating on his wife, but you tell Emmy to have an abortion? And you're clergy!"

I took a deep breath and let it out.

"First of all, 'Reader' is a minor order, which means that in the scheme of things, I'm a tiny fish in a big pond, and my 'clerical responsibilities' are limited to making sure the books are arranged correctly on the reader's stand, making sure the readings and hymns for the day are marked, and reading the Epistle. There is NO pastoral care, which is even permitted! Heck, even deacons only have limited pastoral care responsibilities.

"Second, Emmy isn't Orthodox, and while that doesn't change the character of what she's going to do, it means she isn't viewing me as clergy. And that's important, too. If someone THOUGHT I had that kind of responsibility or authority, and I gave that advice, then I'd be responsible directly to the bishop for giving that advice. But ANY advice on spiritual matters would be problematic, not just something like this. It's above my pay grade, as they say."

"That sounds like a copout."

"It's not, really. It's explaining why your objection based on my status as 'clergy' isn't relevant. Does Emmy even know I was tonsured?"

"I didn't tell her, no. But you think abortion is murder, Mike!"

"It's more complicated than that," I said gently. "First of all, do you know what an ectopic pregnancy is?"

"Sure. From health class."

"Would an abortion be wrong in that case?"

"Obviously not because both the mom and the baby would die if something wasn't done."

"Exactly. And do you know what happens if you have a miscarriage?"

"No."

"Probably the exact same thing that happened when you had your abortion. And that means, no matter what, I feel I HAVE to learn the procedures. Can you imagine if a woman came into the emergency room after a miscarriage and had complications and I had to say, 'Sorry, I have no idea how to fix that'?"

"That would be really bad."

"No kidding. I discussed it with the bishop. I HAVE to learn the procedures in order to be able to save a woman's life. And as goofy as it might sound, Emmy having an abortion is all about saving her life. And probably Clark's. And maybe mine. And yours. And Mindy's. And whoever else Len Nelson might go after if he found out that a black man had impregnated his teenage daughter."

"I hadn't thought about that. It's strange seeing you act this way and hear you speak this way. It's almost like you're thinking like a doctor, not my brother."

"One thing is sure," I chuckled. "You'll always be able to call me your 'idiot brother' for as long as we live because I guarantee I'll do something you think is dumb plenty of times!"

"So you're OK with her having an abortion?"

"No, I'm decidedly NOT OK with it. But that doesn't mean it's not the best solution for Emmy. And as a doctor, I'll have to always consider what's best for my patients. It's why I didn't give you any grief about your abortion, Liz. As painful as it is for me to say, it was the right decision, given the situation. But that doesn't make it any easier to accept.

"But there's something important you need to hear from me. I don't hold YOU in any less regard. It's not my place to judge you. I love you, and I know you had to do something I consider terrible. But that doesn't make YOU terrible, Liz. Not at all. I love you, and I'll always do my best to care for you and help you."