Chapter 38: Don\'t We Have A Date?

January 2, 1983, West Monroe, Ohio

When I arrived at church on Sunday morning, I was pleased to see Deacon Vasily with Father Herman, saying their entrance prayers. I stood quietly in the nave while one of the acolytes, a Junior in High School, lit the oil lamps and ensured everything was properly arranged in the altar. As I stood there, I wondered what would happen when Tasha arrived. Where she stood would speak volumes about what had happened the previous evening when they had missed church.

Just before Matins began, Tasha walked into the nave, and after reverencing the icons and lighting a candle, she came to stand next to me. She brushed her hand on mine, then took my hand and squeezed it, quickly releasing it lest one of the «бабушки» (babushki) decide we were acting inappropriately. I so wanted to ask her what had happened, but even a whispered conversation would have attracted the wrong kind of attention.

Three maddening hours later, I finally had a chance to talk to her in the narthex.

"What happened?"

"Huge arguments and fights," she said quietly. "Mom is convinced we're telling the truth. Dad is convinced we aren't. I even told him we made a promise to each other."

I took a deep breath and let it out, "So?"

"Mom says Dad will come to his senses, and we should be patient."

"Was it wise to stand next to me, then?"

"Mom said it was OK. She was afraid you would be very upset if I stood with her. And she KNEW how upset I would be!"

"But your dad..."

"There is nothing to do to change his mind, Mishka. He believes both Sasha and I are 'fallen women'."

"But it's not true!" I protested.

"Not for me, anyway," Tasha replied.

If what Tasha was saying was accurate, and Sasha HAD slept with the guy, I could see why Deacon Vasily wasn't thinking straight. He'd be completely beside himself that his fifteen-year-old daughter had 'fallen'. But I was offended that even in such an addled state, he would accuse Tasha.

"So, can I sit with you at lunch?"

"Mom said we should sit with Mr. and Mrs. Orlov. She thinks that's the safest situation right now."

"You're sure?"

"Let my mom handle my dad. She and I had a very good talk last night after Dad locked himself in his study."

"OK. If you're sure."

"I am. Remember, Mr. and Mrs. Orlov are my godparents! That's who I SHOULD go to when there are troubles with my parents."

"True," I replied.

I took her hand, and we went to the church hall and sat down next to my grandparents and the Orlovs.

"To what do we owe the favor of your presence, Mikhail?" my grandfather asked.

"Matushka Alexandra suggested we sit here."

Mrs. Orlova looked over to where Tasha's parents were sitting with Sasha between them and shook her head slowly. Somehow, she knew exactly what was going on just from the fact that Sasha was sitting between her parents rather than next to her mom. Usually, Tasha sat next to her dad, with me next to her. Sasha, being flanked by her parents, conveyed far more than I had expected it to.

"Is this causing you trouble, Natalya Vasilyevna?" Mrs. Orlova asked.

"It's OK, Mrs. Orlova," Tasha said. "Mike and I are fine."

"I'll speak to your mother in any event," she said.

Tasha simply nodded. We ate our lunch and had a good talk with my grandparents and the Orlovs, and when we finished eating, Tasha received permission from Mrs. Orlova to walk with me to my car.

"Shouldn't you have asked your mom?" I asked quietly when we were outside.

"Do you think my dad will challenge Mrs. Orlova?"

I chuckled, "Not if he values his life!"

"She'll tell him we're behaving properly."

"How would she know?" I asked.

Tasha smiled, "I'll tell you a secret, but you can NEVER reveal it to anyone, ever!"

"I promise."

"She's the one I talk to about everything. I do mean everything. She knows."

"You mean about the, uh, fondling?"

Tasha giggled, "Yes. She warned me I was playing with fire and that if I wished to do that, I must convince you to have a betrothal ceremony. THEN we could do that!"

I shook my head, "I guess what my mom said about the «бабушки» (babushki) is true."

"Of course! Mrs. Orlova knows what I want to do! Unfortunately, she agrees with YOU!"

"I think after yesterday afternoon, that's a good thing. We were able to tell your dad the truth without any kind of deception."

"And you touching my breast?"

"Shall we go inside and tell him about that?" I asked.

"No! But wasn't that deception?"

"No, because he was clearly asking if we'd made love or done some of the other things that only married couples should do."

Tasha giggled, "Someday, Mishka, you will kiss me there, and I will kiss you there!"

"Tasha!" I protested despite having teased her the same way the previous day.

"What?! Our marriage bed is ours, and we may do anything we wish! I told you I want to do everything with you. I mean that, Mishka. Everything. But YOU make me wait!"

"At your request."

"Yes," she sighed. "And as you said, that's a good thing. We might not be alive if we'd done any of that."

"Will we be able to go out?"

"Mom says yes. She thinks Dad will get over his conniption fit enough to see that I am still pure. And I think Mrs. Orlova will ensure that happens."

"Should I call you each week, like before?"

"Yes, please. It's OK to hug me and exchange a proper kiss. I want a good one, but Mom said that's a bad idea right now."

"No kidding!"

We exchanged a relatively chaste hug and kiss, then I got into my car. Tasha waved as I pulled out of the parking lot and headed for home to wait for Clark to arrive.

January 2, 1983, McKinley, Ohio

"How are you doing?" Clarissa asked when she came into my room on Sunday afternoon.

"OK. Did you have a good Christmas?"

"Yes. You? I mean, other than what we talked about."

"Yes. We have a lot to talk about. Should we go buy our books?"

"Sure."

We left the dorm and walked across campus to the bookstore, which was always open the Sunday before classes started. That meant not having to buy our books before Christmas break, come back early, or having to go to class without books on Monday morning.

"So what happened?" Clarissa asked.

"It's more what I discovered. I had some serious heart-to-heart talks with my friend Dale, my friend Janey, and my mom. And then there was the run-in with Tasha's dad yesterday."

"What happened?"

"Her sister snuck out of the house to see a guy on New Year's Eve. Her father was NOT amused."

Clarissa laughed, "Sorry for laughing, but if he's anything like you described, that's the understatement of the century!"

"Oh, it is. He flipped out, obviously. And he accused Tasha and me of 'improper' behavior."

"Oh right, the ONE girl you're seeing you WOULDN'T do that with!"

"You?" I teased.

"Oh, you would!" Clarissa laughed. "I seem to recall you saying, 'Damn, Clarissa!' when I decided to show you the person hiding behind the baggy clothes and unbrushed hair!"

"Guilty as charged. I'm a dog! But you're right about Tasha. She lost her cool and told her dad he should take her to the gynecologist for an exam, or perhaps we should marry immediately so he could see blood on the sheets of the marriage bed!"

"You do know hymens break for other reasons and that some girls don't have them? And not every girl bleeds even if she has an intact hymen."

"I know. Tasha was making a point! He'd never ask for that kind of proof. Well, at least I don't think so. Anyway, that started a fight, but I was excused before the bell rang to start the second round."

"You can't see her?"

"Our date last night was canceled, but her mom prevailed, and I should be able to see her in the future. I won't be going home for at least a month, and by then, Deacon Vasily should calm down, and Tasha's godmother will talk to him as well."

"He actually came out and accused you have having sex?"

"Not in that few words, but yes. I'm pretty sure Tasha's sister DID, and she told Tasha's dad that we had. I can see why he's suspicious."

"That sounds like a very volatile situation."

"No kidding."

"So what did you discover?"

I smiled, "That I've been taking the wrong approach to a bunch of things."

We walked into the bookstore and dropped the conversation for the time it took to walk around and pick out our books. We paid the outrageous prices, then left the bookstore to head back to the dorm.

"So?" Clarissa prompted.

"That in order to achieve my goals, I have to take care of myself first, THEN school. It makes sense, really. If I'm not physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually healthy, how can I ever hope to achieve my goals? I think I've hit on the reason so many doctors become alcoholics or become dependent on drugs. They forget they have to take care of themselves first."

"Wow," Clarissa said. "That's a pretty stunning turnaround from just a few weeks ago."

"It started before Christmas, but really, it was Jocelyn returning my gift that pushed me to begin reevaluating things. That led to the conversations I had with Dale, Janey, and my mom."

"I thought you couldn't stand Janey!" Clarissa objected.

"It was me, not her," I said. "Yes, she was aggressive and really annoyed me, but the problem was my attitude, not hers. She only got on my case as much as she did because I was behaving like an idiot."

"So you guys resolved your issues?"

"Repeatedly," I chuckled.

Clarissa laughed, "No way! You?"

"As I said, I was taking a totally wrong approach towards life, and that included thinking incorrectly about Sandy and Sophia."

"I thought you and Sandy were talking about a relationship."

"I was talking about a relationship; she wasn't. But that was me thinking wrongly. I tried so hard to find a way to deny that Sandy and I were engaging in 'casual sex' that I think I invented something in my mind that doesn't exist. Well, not the way I thought it did."

"It sounds like you had a serious revelation. Or two or three."

"I did."

"So 'casual sex' is OK? With anyone?"

"Is that an offer?" I smirked.

"You'd need hormone therapy and an operation first!" Clarissa laughed. "Do that, and I'm all yours!"

"No thanks! And no, not just anyone. But it sure as heck clarified things."

"You certainly seem as if you're in a really good mood. I half-expected you to be totally down in the dumps, and given what happened with Tasha, I'd expect you to be really upset. This is an all-new Mike."

"I hope you like him," I said. "Because I think he's here to stay."

"It'll be interesting to see the reactions of the other members of the gang! So does this mean Melody is back in the picture?"

I shook my head, "No. She'll be happy about the change, but her worldview and mine don't align closely enough."

"The Orthodox Church?"

"That's a shorthand for it, yes, but it's not the complete answer."

"If Angie would just wake up, she could walk off with the grand prize!"

"The longer that goes, the less chance I think there is of that ever happening. There's a better chance that YOU would sleep with me!"

Clarissa laughed, "So since that chance is ZERO, Angie is in negative numbers?"

"Pretty much. That's why I put it that way."

"I do like the happy-go-lucky Mike I'm seeing."

"Says the woman who is just as serious as I was, if not more."

"I think you can help me, Mike. I WANT to be like that, but you know why I'm not."

"Because of a couple of guys who behaved like «мудаки» (mudaki)! And because of how society views lesbians."

"Sorry, I didn't bring my universal translator!"

"A-holes," I said.

"That pretty much nails it."

"I'll do my best to help you, but at some point, you're going to have to come out. I don't see any way for you to be happy until you do."

Clarissa took a deep breath and let it out, "I know. But I'm not ready yet."

"I'll do my best to help you in any way I can."

"Thanks."

When we got back to the dorm, Clarissa took her books to her room then came back to my room. A few minutes later, Angie came in. We exchanged a quick hug, and before we sat down, Robby, Lee, and Sophia came in. Sandy followed them a few minutes later.

"The gang's all here!" Sophia declared. "How was everyone's Christmas?"

Everyone answered in a positive way, and I asked about the skiing trip.

"It was a lot of fun," Robby said. "You absolutely have to join us next year."

"Like I said, ask me in the Fall, and we'll make plans."

"Anyone do anything exciting over break besides us?" Lee asked.

Everyone else shook their heads. We chatted about our break, and it was clear that mine was probably the most exciting, though I couldn't actually talk about the VERY exciting New Year's Eve I'd had.

After dinner, Robby brought a bottle of rum to our room, and we drank, listened to music, and talked until it was time for Angie and me to say our prayers. After prayers, I walked her to her room and got a hug and a kiss half on the lips, then went back to my room where Sandy was waiting. I got my kit and went to the bathroom, where I brushed my teeth and used the toilet, then returned. We went into my bedroom, and I shut the door.

"We should talk," I said as Sandy started to undress.

"Shit," she sighed. "You asked Tasha to go steady with you?"

"No! You jumped to the wrong conclusion!"

"What the heck am I supposed to think when a guy says 'we need to talk'? That usually only means one thing!"

"I'm sorry," I said. "That was a poor choice of words on my part. Come sit with me on the bed, please."

We climbed onto the bed and scooted back to lean against throw pillows which were propped along the wall.

"So?" she asked.

"I need to apologize for what I said to you back in December. About our situation."

"Apologize? For what?!"

"My confusion came from the fact that I was trying to justify what I was doing to NOT call it 'casual sex'. I had to invent a relationship in my head which didn't really exist, so I wouldn't feel bad about what we were doing."

Sandy laughed softly and nodded, "That would be you, wouldn't it? In your mind, you could never just fuck."

"I think I came to the conclusion that under the right circumstances, I can, and I don't need to try to fool myself anymore."

"Well, THAT'S a relief! I was afraid you were either going to break up with me or ask me to go steady!"

"Actually, had I not had the revelations I had over break, I probably WOULD have picked one of those two options and totally messed things up between us."

"What happened?"

"A bunch of stuff, but the lowlights were Jocelyn returning my gift and Tasha's dad accusing me of sleeping with her."

"Oh, give me a break!" Sandy said. "You might fuck me silly for 'stress relief' and have 'comfort fucks' with Sophia, but there is NO WAY you would sleep with Tasha before you got engaged, if even then!"

"It appears everyone on the planet is aware of that except Tasha's dad."

"How did that happen?"

"Her little sister snuck out of the house on New Year's Eve to see a boy."

"Oops," Sandy laughed.

"And when she got caught, she tried to save her own skin by saying Tasha and I had sex when she was here."

"Bullshit! We all know that didn't happen!"

"Obviously. But Sasha was trying to find a way out of the serious trouble she was in. It was a bad move, obviously."

"Is everything OK?"

"Things are a bit tense, but Tasha's mom and her godmother are both on our side. They'll sort things out."

"What happened with Jocelyn?"

"I dropped the stuffed animals at her house before she arrived home from Purdue, the way I planned. I wanted to avoid a confrontation. Her mom put the gift under the tree. On the morning of the 26th, I found the opened box on the porch at my house. No note. No, nothing."

"That's cold," Sandy said. "Did you see her at all?"

"No. My friend Dale, who's also her friend, talked to her, but she refused to discuss anything about me with him."

"You don't seem as down as I would have expected."

"The other stuff I discovered helped."

"So I can safely count on you fucking my brains out for the next couple of years, so I don't get too stressed out?"

"Barring any unforeseen events, it's reasonable to expect we'll keep doing it, yes."

"Good. Then what the hell are we doing sitting here with our clothes on when we could be fucking?"

"Good question!" I replied.

January 3, 1983, McKinley, Ohio

"That was just what I needed," Sandy said after we'd screwed like crazed bunnies after we woke on Monday morning.