Chapter 36: Woolgathering

January 1, 1983, West Monroe, Ohio

"It's open, Mindy!" I called out.

The door opened, and she came into the room.

"You were expecting me?"

"I'd have been seriously disappointed in my ability to predict your behavior if you hadn't shown up!"

"A little too obvious?"

"You might say that! May I give you a tip?"

"I'd rather have the whole thing!" Mindy smirked.

I laughed so hard I had to sit down on the bed so I wouldn't fall over. It took me a full minute to recover enough to be able to breathe, let alone speak.

"Now THAT was funny," I grinned when I was finally able to speak. "But what I MEANT was advice!"

"Duh!" Mindy laughed.

"Subtlety and light flirting are much more effective with some guys, including me. Coming right out and telling me you want to have sex is actually a turn-off."

"Oops."

"And getting into my bed unbidden, especially naked, actually upset me."

"You didn't like me?"

I smiled, "That's not what I said. When you turned on the lights, it was kind of tough to miss the gorgeous body! But that didn't make me any less upset."

"I guess I blew it," she replied.

"Not yet, you haven't!" I chuckled. "I think I'd remember THAT!"

Mindy laughed nearly as hard as I had before, but she leaned against the wall for support.

"You're funny, Mike! I guess I made a mistake in my approach. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"If I'd been less blunt, would I have had a chance?"

"I have no idea, really. It's kind of har ... uh, difficult, to remember what I thought before you were so blunt."

"Afraid I might make a smart-aleck comment?" Mindy asked with a silly smile.

"The thought did cross my mind. There was always the concern about Liz."

"She said it was OK for me to come up. She's going to her room, and she'll shut the door and turn off the lights in case your parents come home. But she said they told her 2:00am."

"And does she think I'm actually going to do it?"

"She said you were in a much better mood today than you've been in a long time, but she told me you would probably say 'no'."

"But you had to try once more?"

"What's the worst possible outcome? I go to Liz's room and go to sleep. On the other hand..."

"That is one way to look at it. Wouldn't you rather do it with your boyfriend or someone you love?"

"I don't have a boyfriend right now. I've gone out with some guys, but they all act like I owe them something or just want to paw me!"

"I think the legal term is 'attractive nuisance'," I teased.

"What?"

"It's like having a swimming pool in your backyard. You have to put up a fence to make sure little kids don't try to play in the pool and drown!"

"You mean my boobs?"

"They are attractive," I said with a grin. "But there has to be a nice guy in school."

"There was! He graduated! The one I've wanted to do it with for a long time!"

"But I can't be your boyfriend," I said. "And I'm not in love with you."

"Neither of those are important! I want my first time to be perfect like Emmy's was! And I don't have any REAL experience!"

"And yet you told me you'd be good!"

"There's only one way to prove me right or wrong!"

"You said that before, too!"

"What's the problem, Mike? I'm being serious now. I want to do it with you, even if we never do it again."

"I guess I don't understand why."

"It's my fantasy," she said quietly. "The one I think about when I rub myself at night."

"And that's why you've seemed so desperate to do it with me," I said. "To fulfill your fantasy."

"Yes."

"What if it's not as good as you think it will be? How will you feel?"

"Uh, I hadn't really considered that. Why wouldn't it be?"

"Because our minds develop an idea of how it will be, and it might not turn out that way. Maybe it doesn't feel as good as you think it will; maybe it even hurts at first. Maybe you decide you don't like it or that you can't go through with it. Lots of things could happen."

"I absolutely want to do it! I mean, I got into bed naked with you!"

"You did, but that was months ago. Maybe something changed. And you took a big risk that night."

"Risk? What risk? Getting caught?"

"Getting pregnant. What if I didn't have any rubbers?"

"I started taking the Pill like three months before that! I'm still taking it."

"Because of me?"

"Partly, yes. But my aunt didn't want me to end up like she did — pregnant at sixteen — so she took me to the doctor to get the Pill. I'm religious about taking it, too. I saw what happened with April Nash. But that was after you broke up with her, right?"

"Absolutely! Chastity is awesome, but she's not mine, and as much as I like her, I do NOT want a baby now."

"Me neither! Will you do something for me?"

"What?"

"Kiss me? A really nice kiss. Then you can tell me to go back to Liz's room."

I chuckled, "You think you kiss that well, huh?"

"Too obvious?"

"By half!"

"All the guys I've kissed seriously have wanted to fool around with me!"

"High School boys will fool around with any girl who has a pulse and shows a bit of interest! Nice breasts only make it more likely!"

"And college boys won't?" she smirked.

"Well, some will."

"But not you?"

"Let's just say I've been a bit more selective."

"And I don't qualify?"

Did she? The funny thing was, had she tried the tactic of slipping into my bed naked, I'd have sent her away. But after the talk we just had, as brief as it was, I felt differently. I wasn't totally sure I should say 'yes', nor did I want to say 'no'. One thing I was reasonably sure of was that kissing her would make saying 'yes' much easier and saying 'no' much more difficult.

As I thought about it, if she had simply flirted and made it clear she was available, her behavior tonight would have inclined me to do what she asked. She really was gorgeous, and she had a fun personality. And certainly, after my talks with Becky, Dale, and most importantly, Janey, and what I'd been doing with Sandy and Sophia, my stated views on 'casual sex' simply didn't hold water.

I WAS having casual sex with Sandy, Sophia, and now Janey. There was no commitment of any kind and no assumptions about the future. In fact, Sophia had explicitly rejected them, and Sandy was likely to do the same when we talked after I went back to McKinley. It dawned on me that I was, in effect, lying to myself about what I was doing. Either I didn't have the courage of my convictions, or my convictions were something other than I'd thought they were.

Part of the problem, in fact perhaps the entire problem, was that I was totally unsure of myself with regard to ANYTHING except for wanting to be a doctor. That was true even about my singing, which everyone seemed to love but which I didn't want to do in public. Why? Perhaps if I figured out the answer to THAT question, I might understand myself better.

Liz's words came back to me again — 'You always run away! It's what you do best! and Coward!' — and ultimately, that did define me. I WAS a coward. Or perhaps it was better to say I lacked self-confidence and I hated confrontation. And in that realization, I wondered if I could actually do the RA job. I wanted it because of the financial advantage, but could I actually DO the job? Was I willing to step into confrontations and help resolve them? Did I have the self-confidence to provide advice? Did I have the empathy to listen to someone's troubles? The RAs all did those things. If I couldn't do them, I couldn't in good conscience apply for the RA role.

"Mike?" Mindy prompted. "Did you hear my question?"

"Sorry, I was, well, woolgathering, I guess. Your question just made me think about a bunch of things. Can I have another minute or two?"

"Take three if it means I can stay!" she laughed.

I smiled and put my mind back on the train of thought I'd been following. If all of what I was thinking was true, and I was being both dishonest with myself AND trying to avoid confrontation, I was in for a bunch of trouble. And maybe that had caused some, if not most, of my troubles in the past. Indecisiveness was a hallmark of my behavior except in one area — wanting to be a doctor.

My karate instructor had said as much when he had said I wasn't focused and didn't put in sufficient effort. Why? Did I question my own abilities? It wasn't just time; it was commitment. I actually practiced my guitar more than I practiced karate, but I didn't play for friends nearly as much as they wanted me to. Why? Doctor Blahnik had said I was good, but I wasn't sure I believed her. It was self-confidence again.

And maybe THAT was part of my issue with sex. I'd wanted to lose my virginity at fifteen or sixteen, but I hadn't succeeded. Why? Because I was sure I was going to be shot down by the girls. I wondered if it had become a self-fulfilling prophecy — I was sure they wouldn't want to be with me, so I'd behaved in ways that made them not want to be with me. As I mused over the change that had occurred after I'd been with Jocelyn, it really did come down to one thing — self-confidence. I KNEW at least one girl found me attractive and interesting enough to have sex with me. And once I'd known that, the proverbial dam had broken, and suddenly, girls were coming out of the woodwork who were interested in my big ... wallet, as Mom had teased.

So, what to do about Mindy? I thought about Janey's first encounters and what she'd said about them, and then what she'd said about why she wanted to be with me and how she felt after we'd done it. There was a HUGE difference between sex in the back seat of a car and sex in a bed. Between rushed, fumbling sex and patient, experienced sex. And a lightbulb went on. Mindy didn't want her first time to be fumbling, rushed, back-seat sex. And she'd come to me to ensure that didn't happen.

If I was honest with myself, and it was about time that I was, I had no legitimate excuses to not be with Mindy. But there was one important thing — my admission of erroneous thinking about casual sex couldn't be license to go completely crazy or off the deep end. I had to come up with SOME plan because I didn't want to end up like Dale.

I suppressed a laugh because who was I kidding? I WAS like Dale. I just hadn't admitted it. Dale's reaction to me having been with seven girls should have clued me in — I wasn't behaving the way he expected or the way I talked. So it wasn't about being like Dale; it was about understanding my motivations and keeping things reasonably under control, whatever that meant! At least in McKinley, there were a few built-in controls — Sandy was with me nearly every night, and when she wasn't, Sophia was. And otherwise, I was with Clarissa or Angie or studying.

I pulled myself out of my 'minute or two', which had, indeed, been closer to three, and smiled, looking at Mindy, "Do you really want me to fulfill your fantasy?"

"Oh yes!" She nodded enthusiastically.

"And what's your fantasy?"

"What does the Prince song say? Let's pretend we're married and go all night? That."

I walked over, shut the door, and locked it. Mindy squealed with glee and leapt into my arms when I held them out. We exchanged a furious French kiss, her body plastered against mine.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"I want you to fuck my brains out," she whispered. "I want you to fuck my brains out all night!"

We kissed again and began fumbling with each other's clothes. Less than a minute later, we were both naked.

"She wasn't kidding!" Mindy cooed. "It's BIG and beautiful!"

"Like your chest!" I grinned.

"Do you want to kiss them?" she asked coyly.

"Absolutely," I said. "And I want to kiss you even more somewhere else!"

I drew a finger along her already slick labia and pressed on the hood of skin which covered her clit.

"Oh, God, yes!" she whispered with urgent anticipation.

I moved her to the bed and quickly pulled down the comforter and sheet, and we tumbled into bed. After another furious French kiss, I moved down and began suckling her large, firm breasts, alternating between them, playing with her nipples between my lips and tickling them with my tongue. I had never considered myself a 'breast man', preferring girls who were 'trim', but I could have lost myself for hours playing with Mindy's breasts!

I reluctantly tore myself away from them, but the destination I had in mind would certainly make up for it. I really LIKED 'eating pussy' as Janey and Melody had called it. The taste was heavenly, the orgasms the girls had served to encourage me to do it more, and it had the added benefit of making me rock-hard, though at the moment, that was NOT a problem! Just the thought of 'fucking her brains out' had made me hard as steel.

When my face was between Mindy's legs, her scent put my mind into overdrive, and I simply pressed my tongue into her, covering it with her coppery juices. My tongue encountered what seemed to be a thin barrier, and I took care to not push through it. That would come LATER, with the part of my body intended for that purpose! Mindy moaned and writhed as I alternated, running my tongue along her labia, swirling it inside her, and gently sucking on her clit.

"Jesus," she gasped.

I lifted my head and grinned, "Better than your fingers?"

"Don't talk!" she whispered insistently. "Lick me!"

I put my head back between her legs and tongued her clit until she groaned loudly and bucked her hips hard.

"Oh God," she gasped. "More! More!"

I brought her to a second orgasm, then moved on top of her and lodged my glans against her sopping labia. I kissed her, and she shoved her tongue into my mouth, then pushed up with her hips, encouraging me. I briefly considered what to do and decided to do what she'd asked for. I pushed my hips forward firmly and buried myself halfway inside her extremely tight tunnel, shredding her thin hymen in the process.

Mindy broke the kiss and gasped, "Do it, Mike! Fuck me! Fuck me until I scream!"

She thrust her hips hard up against me, taking another inch. I pulled back just a bit, then thrust hard, fully embedding myself. Her walls rippled and grasped me, fitting like a tight glove. Mindy bucked again, encouraging me. I pulled back and swiftly pushed forward, burying myself in her again.

"Just fuck me, Mike!" she gasped.

We started kissing, and I did as she'd asked. Mindy met every thrust with a strong upward movement of her hips. Her legs, which had been around my thighs, moved to my butt, and we began fucking hard and fast. We broke the kiss, and both of us gasped for air, our breathing ragged from the extreme exertion. Mindy squeezed me more tightly with her arms, and her legs moved to my waist. She began bucking wildly, almost as if she wanted to throw me off, but the tight grip of her legs prevented that. I pounded her for all I was worth, and two minutes later, she got her wish — she screamed and had a huge orgasm, the contractions of her walls taking me over the top right after her. I groaned and pushed as deeply as I could as my cum exploded into her.

Mindy kept bucking until both our orgasms passed, and then, with a deep sigh, she relaxed, her legs falling to the bed and the death grip she'd had with her arms loosening into a light hug. I looked deeply into her eyes, and we exchanged a soft French kiss, but we couldn't hold it too long because we were still breathing hard.

"You OK?" I asked.

"Are you kidding?! I definitely want to do that all night! How long before you can go again?"

"Not long," I replied with a smile. "Let me catch my breath."

I moved off her and pulled her to me to cuddle, her large breasts pushing on my chest and side and her left leg splayed across mine.

"I don't think you should scream the next time," I chuckled. "My parents might not appreciate it!"

Mindy laughed, "Uh, yeah. I can just bite your shoulder!"

"That might not be the best idea either!"

"Then just kiss me when it happens!"

"You're sure you want to do it again? It didn't hurt?"

"I barely felt it. I mean, I know you popped my cherry, and I could feel it, but it didn't hurt. Is there any blood?"

We both moved and looked down, and I saw just a faint hint of pink.

"A tiny bit, I think. But hardly any."

"You know I thought Emmy was lying?"

"About?"

"How big you are. In health class, they were like most guys are between five and six inches, and maybe like a roll of quarters. You're way bigger."

"Why did you think Emmy was lying?"

"Maybe exaggerating is a better word. You know, like girls saying their bra size is bigger than it is."

"I never really worried about it, either for me or for the girls. It's just externals, you know?"

Mindy laughed, "Oh no! It was internal! And WOW!"

"Fantasy fulfilled?" I asked.

"How it felt? Yes! But we have to do it all night to fulfill my fantasy!"

"You HAVE to be quiet. My parents will KILL me."

"I promise. Ready?"

"For?"

"Fucking my brains out for a second time!"

The second time was just as good as the first, as was the third, though my recovery time between the last two was longer than usual, but that was surely because I'd cum four times at Janey's and three times with Mindy. I'd NEVER felt so spent before, even after Emmy and Becky. I thought I could probably get hard again, but I wasn't sure I'd have anything to ejaculate! Of course, Janey had benefitted greatly because I'd licked her between each time until I got hard again.

"You have to go to Liz's room by 5:00am, which is in about twenty-five minutes," I said quietly. "Otherwise, we run the risk of running into my parents."

"But we heard them come in just after 2:00am. That's why we had to do it in the dark the last two times!"

"Yes, and that doesn't mean they won't wake up!"

"OK. I guess I can't sleep in your arms!"

I chuckled, "You wanted to fool around all night, so we did!"

"True! Do you think we could do this again sometime? I mean, if you want to."