Chapter 26: Martyrdom

November 7, 1982, McKinley, Ohio

"What's up with you and Nancy?" Angie asked as we drove home from church on Sunday morning.

"Nothing, really," I said. "I'm taking her to dinner, but I'll be back for a study group. I missed last Sunday because I was at her house until fairly late. I can't do that too often."

"You're still interested in her?"

"As a friend. If you recall, she had serious trust issues, and I don't know that she's past them."

"And if she is?"

"I have no plans to have a steady girlfriend anytime soon unless you're applying for the position!"

Angie laughed nervously, "I don't think I could pass the interview, even though the dorm already has us married!"

I chuckled, "They do. Though I haven't given you a ring!"

"There is one other thing missing," she said quietly.

"Ang, don't obsess about that, please. I think you can work through it, or if you'll let me help, we can work through it together."

She took a deep breath and let it out, "It's ... never mind."

"Ang, let me help you."

She was quiet, and as I turned towards the campus, she put her hand on my arm.

"Let's find a place where we can talk. Maybe Milton Lake?"

"It's warmed up to almost 60°F, but with the wind, I think it might be uncomfortable to sit outside. We need lunch. How about A&W? We can sit in the car if you want privacy."

"OK."

It was warm enough for curb-side service, and twenty minutes later, we had our food.

"I have a brother," Angie said quietly.

"I know. I met him."

"No, an older brother."

I did NOT like where this seemed to be heading, and if my instincts were correct, I wasn't sure I COULD help Angie with her problem. I wasn't sure I even wanted her to say it, but I steeled myself.

"You never mentioned him."

"He's three years older and left home four years ago, right after he graduated. I haven't talked to him since then. I don't think my parents have, either."

"They know what happened?" I asked warily.

"Only part of it."

I took a bite of my hamburger and waited. Angie ate a few bites of hers and took a sip of root beer.

"When I was fifteen, my second-best friend, after Anna, had a crush on him. You know, like Emmy or Mindy have on you. Well, I guess Emmy doesn't have that crush now."

"No, I'd say not."

"Anyway, one night when she was sleeping over, she did what Mindy did with you. But my brother didn't say 'no'. She didn't know I wasn't asleep when she snuck out, and when she came back, she got back into her sleeping bag, and I heard her sobbing. The following day, I got her to tell me what happened. She said it had hurt really bad and was over really quickly. He sent her away, I guess because he was embarrassed. I'm pretty sure that was his first time, too.

"Anyway, about three weeks later, she called me in a panic because she missed her period. We got one of those new EPT kits, and it showed she was pregnant. She tried to talk to my brother, but he wouldn't take her calls or respond when she tried to talk to him. That went on for a few days, and finally, I decided I had to say something, so I confronted my brother.

"He tried to deny it, but I told him I knew my friend had gone to his room that night and that she hadn't been with anyone else. He was completely freaked out, and the next day, the day after graduation, he just disappeared. We haven't heard from him since.

"When my friend found out, she was distraught. I didn't know what to do to help her. The next day, she took a bottle of sleeping pills she found in her mom's medicine cabinet and never woke up. She didn't leave a note, but I knew what had happened, obviously. I never told anyone."

"They didn't find out she was pregnant?"

"I don't know if her parents did or not. They were super-strict evangelicals who went to some church up in Milford with one of those fire-and-brimstone type preachers."

"Which is why she was so desperate. And I guess an abortion was out of the question?"

"As much as it would be for me, or you, though being a guy, it's different."

"I guess. And your brother ran away because he didn't want to deal with it?"

"I don't think he really liked her. He just wanted ... well, you know. When she offered, he did it, but I guess he regretted it. And when she got pregnant, he didn't want to deal with it, so he ran away. And that's why my friend..."

"Why not try to get help?"

"Her church was really crazy about stuff like that. They would have kicked her out, and maybe even her whole family."

"That's nuts," I said, shaking my head.

I added up what I knew about Angie, and things began to make more sense. Her first encounter with sex had been frightening, and her second had ended in disaster. She hadn't been physically involved in either of those situations, but they had both colored her views. She was, literally, afraid of sex. And I had NO idea what to do about that if I even could do anything.

"I think I understand you better," I continued. "Have you told your counselor all of this?"

"I did. We've talked a lot about it, but I still feel guilty for what happened with my friend, but also with my brother."

I didn't see it, really, because she didn't know her friend was going to commit suicide, and she couldn't have predicted that her brother would run away. And it wasn't really her fault that her brother had run away, as he most certainly would have found out about her friend's pregnancy some other way. But I also knew from what had happened with Liz, and with Jocelyn, that rational thought was not something I could expect in response to traumatic events.

It struck me that until her guilt was resolved, she wasn't going to be able to make any progress in the other area. I was also absolutely sure that Melody had been right when she suggested that anything beyond a simple kiss would be tantamount to a marriage proposal.

"I think I have some idea of how you feel after everything that happened with my sister and with Jocelyn."

"How did you deal with it?"

"With Liz, it was by accepting that she was responsible for what she did, even if I had somehow created the circumstances. With Jocelyn? I don't think I have. In fact, I'm sure I haven't. I feel guilty about everything that happened after her suicide attempt. And honestly, until I talk things out with her, I don't know that I can resolve the issues."

"And if she won't talk with you?"

"That's my nightmare scenario. You know I've been trying to focus on school and friends, but as Thanksgiving comes closer, the whole thing is looming larger and larger."

"But you don't seem upset or anything."

"I'm doing my best not to obsess, but that's more and more difficult as it gets closer and closer to Thanksgiving."

"What do you want to happen?"

"To be 'Mik and Jos' again."

"Can you do that?"

"I have NO idea," I sighed.

November 9, 1982, McKinley, Ohio

"I really don't want to," I said.

"At least he didn't whine," Jeannette laughed.

"Come to the meeting, Mike," Melody said. "You don't even have to say anything. Just being there is enough."

"I really do need to study."

"I'm going," Clarissa said. "And so are Sandy and Angie."

"So are we," Robby added, nodding towards Lee.

"Fine," I sighed.

"It's not a death sentence!" Melody said, shaking her head. "And besides, you dislike Dean Parker more than anyone I'm aware of."

"Which is a good reason to stay FAR away from her."

"There's a rumor one of Doctor Blahnik's top students was expelled for teaching Dean Parker's daughter to play the skin flute, in addition to the violin!"

"So I heard," I responded neutrally.

"It's no rumor," Marie said. "I work in the bursar's office three days a week. I saw the expulsion notice. And according to someone in the Drama Department, the little princess was begging for it. And Mommy was very unhappy."

"So, wait!" Sophia protested. "The feminist's daughter makes a decision about her own body, and Mommy has a hissy fit? What a hypocrite!"

"She was thirteen!" Clarissa protested. "I'm no prude, but that's just too young. Fifteen, and I'd say 'whatever', but the law doesn't agree."

"To quote Mr. Bumble from Dickens' Oliver Twist, 'the law is a ass — a idiot'," Melody said. "But thirteen is too young."

"How long will he get?" Clarissa asked.

"Supposedly, he's trying to make a plea bargain," Marie said, "but Dean Parker is objecting and wants him in jail for twenty-five years."

"Seriously?" Jeannette gasped. "That's crazy!"

"Let's go," Melody insisted, "Or we're going to be late."

"How can he get twenty-five years for statutory?" Sophia asked.

"Because she's thirteen and he's twenty-three," Melody said. "And they can charge him with stuff like 'oral sodomy' and 'deviant behavior' and so on."

"A blowjob is 'deviant behavior'?" Jeannette asked, incredulous. "Somebody call the cops and have me arrested!"

"Me too," Lee laughed.

"We're lucky," Robby said, "Ohio decriminalized homosexual sex about eight years ago. But Michigan and Kentucky haven't. Indiana and Pennsylvania have."

"If you're 'legal', it's not deviant, but it's specifically 'deviant behavior with a minor'. What they used to call in some places 'contributing to the delinquency of a minor' or, in the more distant past, 'crimes against nature'."

"You know what's really dumb?" Sophia asked. "Turn that around, and everyone is patting the kid on the back for bagging his teacher. I'm not saying it's right, but society has this idea that the kid is lucky if he's a boy and a victim if she's a girl."

"That's right up there with the whole 'stud versus slut' dichotomy," Jeannette groused. "If Mike bags all the girls in this group, he's a stud. If I sleep with ONE guy, some people will call me a slut."

"One guy?" Marie smirked. "That ship sailed a LONG time ago! Repeatedly!"

"Don't be a bitch," Jeannette laughed. "You know what I mean."

"I do; all girls do. You have sex, and suddenly you're 'easy' or a 'slut'; if you break up with that guy, the next guy assumes he can have it."

"Every guy assumes he can have it!" Marie laughed.

"Not true," Clarissa said. "We know guys who aren't like that. Three of them are here."

"I was engaging in hyperbole!" Marie protested. "But how many guys did you run into who just expected you to put out?"

Melody laughed, "I WANTED to 'put out', as you call it, so it sort of didn't matter! But that doesn't mean I wasn't selective about who got to enjoy my 'delectable charms'!"

Everyone laughed and was still laughing as we filed into the meeting room. Melody took her seat with the other members of the Student Government Committee, and the rest of us took seats in the second row. About five minutes later, Chancellor Evans called the meeting to order. He quickly dispensed with the roll call and approval of the minutes of the previous meeting, then began the 'Old Business' part of the agenda.

"Our first item is the previously deferred matter of new rules, procedures, and guidelines for student residents. I see there are about seventy students here, and while I certainly agree each of you has a right to speak, I would ask if you would please nominate five individuals to speak for you. This isn't a requirement, but we would very much appreciate it for efficiency's sake. We'll take a five-minute recess to allow you to do that.

Six students volunteered, and very quickly, Jeannette and Robby were selected, along with two other students I recognized but didn't know. There was a bit of a struggle over who the last person would be, but a Senior agreed to bow out to allow a Sophomore to speak. I was relieved nobody had put my name forward, and I certainly wasn't about to volunteer.

"We have the five," Jeannette announced.

Chancellor Evans called the meeting back to order, and he gave the floor to a Senior named Jake, who was the leader of the student members of the Committee. He spoke for about five minutes, objecting to most of the proposed changes and arguing for students to be treated as adults. When he finished, Doctor Lawrence, who Melody had said was basically acting as Dean Parker's mouthpiece, spoke.

"She thinks we're all babies!" Jeannette whispered angrily.

When Doctor Lawrence finished, it was Doctor Blahnik's turn.

"Contrary to what Doctor Lawrence implies, the vast majority of our students are responsible adults and ought to be treated as such. Our job, as educators, is to give the young men and women who attend William Howard Taft the training and skills to be productive and responsible members of society. If we treat them as little children who need constant care and supervision, what is going to happen when they go out into the world?

"Is it true that some students are irresponsible and immature? Absolutely! But the solution is to help those students, not collectively punish the entire student body for the transgressions of a few. But there are some here who think that collective punishment is the solution for every ill. Have women been treated inequitably? Punish all men. A rape occurs? Punish all men. A student is caught with a few bags of marijuana? Punish all students.

"This is NOT the way to treat children, let alone adults. Now, some may argue that in the military, collective punishment is used for team building. But we are not the military. We are free citizens in a free society. We are innocent unless individually proven guilty. I defected from communist Czechoslovakia to escape the kind of foolishness being proposed here, and I will be damned if I will tolerate it in my adopted country!

"Rather than impose suffocating rules, we should be training these young men and women who are in our charge. When they make mistakes, we correct them gently. We give them 'due process', something demanded in the Constitution. We don't go off 'half-cocked', and we don't treat our students as if they are criminals or potential criminals! That is what dictatorships behind the Iron Curtain do!

"And I see Dean Parker squirming in her chair, so I'll defuse what I know she's going to say. One of my students broke the law. I turned him in to the administration, and I gave evidence to the County Prosecutor. Punishing ME, or my department, or other students, for the transgression of a single student is something nobody here should tolerate. Not if you claim to believe in the founding principles of this country. A country I chose to come to and adopt as my own."

When she sat down, the assembled students erupted in applause, which I joined, and Chancellor Evans motioned for us to be quiet. Dean Parker stood.

"Doctor Blahnik has succinctly summed up and proven exactly why we need stricter rules in place, and we need to change how we handle situations where girls and women are mistreated, abused, and denied opportunities. One of her own students, aged twenty-three, couldn't handle the responsibilities of an adult unsupervised! And one of Doctor Matteson's students was just arrested for drug trafficking!"

"Oh, please!" Marie growled. "A few dime bags of pot does NOT make you a 'drug trafficker'!"

"Quiet, please," Chancellor Evans warned. "And Dean Parker, I would suggest you cease trying to use 'guilt by association' as a tactic."

"We're going to win!" Sophia said quietly.

"This university has been FAR too lax when transgressions have occurred," Dean Parker continued. "Just last year, I was blocked from having a dangerous sexual predator removed from this campus."

"Chancellor Evans," Melody said loudly. "I object! Dean Parker is making defamatory statements which she knows to be patently false."

"I concur, Ms. Coates," Chancellor Evans said firmly. "Dean Parker, you were warned about this last year. The charges were completely unfounded. Please do not repeat what you have just said."

"The patriarchal attitude of this university is part of the problem!" Dean Parker spat.

"Chancellor, if I may?" the school's general counsel interrupted.

"By all means, Ms. Walston, please."

"Dean Parker, we've been over that issue from last year. If you continue to make those sorts of references, you open the school to significant liability because the claims made were completely and undeniably false. Please cease. If you do not, I shall recommend the Chancellor have you censured and removed."

"That's her plan!" Jeannette whispered. "She WANTS to get censured and kicked out!"

"Why?" I asked in a low voice.

"To prove her point that the men are trying to silence her!"

"Why are you, a woman," Dean Parker demanded, "perpetuating this ridiculous male domination which silences the voices of women and ignores threats to our female students and tolerates discrimination? Failures on the part of the police and Family Services do not change the danger!"

"Jesus, she has it in for you," Clarissa whispered.

"It's the easiest way for her to create the controversy," Marie whispered. "She KNOWS they have to censure her or kick her out."

"Dean Parker, that is enough!" the Chancellor said firmly.

"I will not be silenced while the administration supports and protects child abusers and rapists! Any male student who presents a risk MUST be immediately expelled and barred from campus. We simply cannot take those risks. And I refuse to allow you to continue providing safe haven for individuals who are KNOWN to be child abusers."

"Dean Parker, sit down!" Chancellor Evans said firmly.

"I will not!" she said petulantly.

"I move we adjourn to executive session," Doctor Jenkins from the Math Department said.

"Second!" came a chorus of voices.

The vote wasn't close — 11-4 — to move to executive session. The Committee adjourned to a conference room for their 'executive session' while the rest of us stayed in the meeting room.