Chapter 22: A Good Talk With Liz

October 16, 1982, West Monroe, Ohio

After my talk with Mom, I went to find Liz and invited her to sit on the floor of my room to talk. We sat side-by-side, leaning against the bed.

"Why in here and not in the basement?"

I felt it was my duty to warn Liz, as my sister, of the way voices carried through the heating ducts. Mom had told me in confidence, but I couldn't in good conscience keep that vital piece of information from Liz.

"Because voices carry through the heating ducts," I replied quietly.

"What?! Shit?! Mom spies on us?"

"Me, anyway. You mostly hang out in your room with your friends."

"What a bitch!" she growled.

"Liz, let it go, OK? I told you so you knew. Please do NOT make an issue of it. It would really wreck my relationship with Mom. But I couldn't let you take risks, given what I know from your trip to McKinley."

"You aren't going to rat me out?"

"No. You have to make your own decisions. I don't agree with you, but it's not my life to live. It's yours. And even if you do get in contact with Paul, I know you can't even go see him until you're eighteen, if even then."

"I wrote him. I sent it from Emmy's cousin's address. You know, the apartment in Rutherford where you and Emmy..."

"I'm not surprised she told you about that."

"She wanted to tell me the details, but I told her I'd throw up all over her if she did!"

"Yeah, I don't think I want to hear any details of your sex life, either!"

"Did you know Emmy called Clark?"

"Emmy is playing with fire," I sighed. "If her dad ever finds out, it'll be the end of the world for those two, and we'd be well within the blast radius if not outright targets."

"You know why she's doing it, right?"

"I can guess. She's angry with her dad about not being able to officially hang out with you or even be friends with you. So she's going to get her revenge, if you will, by sleeping with Clark."

"Yes."

"You should do your best to talk her out of that," I said. "Mr. Nelson will kill them. And I'm not exaggerating or engaging in hyperbole. He WILL kill them."

"I know," Liz sighed. "But Emmy is dead set on having sex with Clark."

"To what end? If she tells her dad, he'll kill them. If she doesn't, what's the point?"

"That she knows she did it."

"I guess. I think I'll have a talk with Clark, but I can see him thinking he's sticking it to Mr. Nelson by sticking it INTO Emmy."

Liz laughed, "Too funny, Mikey."

"How's school going?"

Liz shrugged, "It's school. I'm getting mostly B's but nothing below a B. Mom is happy, which means I get a bit of freedom."

"And you're not dating?"

"I love Paul, Mikey. He's a man. I don't want a boy."

"And you're sure he wants you?"

Liz nodded slowly, "He told me he loved me, and I believed him. I think he still does. I know you have a serious problem with it because he was cheating on his wife and even more because they had a baby, but he doesn't love her."

"You know guys lie about stuff like that, right? To get girls into bed?"

"He wasn't lying. And I don't think you lie to get that, Mikey."

Only to myself, I thought. But that was a problem for a different day and for a conversation with a different person.

"You know Mom and Dad will completely freak out, right? And that the prison reads all the mail?"

"I used a pet name he called me and didn't write anything about having sex or whatever. And it was sent from Rutherford like I said."

"It's dangerous. But I've said my piece, and I'll let it go. Well, that's not true. If I think you're in danger, I'm going to act on it, just as I did the first time."

Liz smiled, "You're my Big Brother, and I love you, even if I don't always agree with what you do. I know you love me, too."

"I do."

"So why come home this weekend? You just saw Tasha and me and Emmy."

"Don't forget Sasha!" I chuckled.

Liz laughed, "She has a ridiculous crush on you, but she also knows that the police would never find her body if she did anything about it!"

I chuckled, "Hell hath no fury..."

"You and your Russian women!" Liz teased.

"That's actually why I'm home. I wanted to talk to Mom because Katy basically asked me to marry her. If I do, she'll go to Ohio State. If not, she'll go to Stanford."

"What?!"

"Well, she suggested we move in together when she graduates and that her parents would help cover our expenses. I pointed out that the only difference between that and marriage was the piece of paper."

"And what was your answer?"

"That I'd have to think about it. She wasn't upset by that, in case you're wondering."

"Have you completely lost your mind?"

"Funny, I could ask YOU the same question!"

"Well, yeah. But come on, Mike! Marriage? Now? Jesus, if you want to get laid so bad, I'll go get Mindy! She'll make you VERY happy and keep you from doing anything stupid!"

I chuckled, "I have that covered."

"Katy?"

"I can't answer that question, Liz. And don't read anything into my not answering, please. Some stuff shouldn't be talked about. And I think being with Mindy would be foolish; stupid, even."

"You really are a dork, Mikey!" Liz laughed. "Turning down a sixteen-year-old virgin with nice, big tits who wants you to fuck her into the next century?"

"Who happens to be your friend. Not to mention, she's in High School. And before you object about Katy and Tasha, they are different."

"Because some old lady at church set you up with them?"

"You know how I felt about Tasha even before that happened."

"As I said, a dork, Mikey! All you had to do was talk to her! But no, you were so afraid of your own shadow, you wouldn't even say 'hello' to her at church! What did Mom tell you to do?"

"Mom pretty much never told me to do anything," I said. "She asked questions that helped me make up my own mind."

"Lucky. That's ALL she does now. Tell me what to do. Where to go. Who to be with."

"Is THAT why you're trying to get in touch with Paul?"

"No. I really do love him, Mike. I want to be with him, and not just for sex."

"Mom and Dad will completely flip out," I said.

"I don't care. You'll love me no matter what."

"So will they, even if they're unhappy with your choices."

Liz shook her head, "If I go with Paul, they'll refuse to have anything to do with me."

"I think you underestimate how much they love you. They WILL have a problem with Paul, obviously, but they'll still love you."

"You're cute when you engage in wishful thinking, Mikey. I wouldn't be welcome here. But forget that. Do you want my advice?"

"I'll listen, but obviously, I have to make up my own mind."

"Duh! I swear, sometimes you treat me like I'm two!"

"Sorry."

"Let Katy go to Stanford. If she IS the right one, then when she graduates, she comes back, and you two live happily ever after."

"That's risky."

"Yeah? You're going to have to take that risk with Tasha, too, Mikey. I don't see you marrying the day after graduation. And if you don't, she'll have to consider her options."

"Can I ask why you're saying this?"

"Promise not to get angry?"

"I promise to not lash out at you. I can't promise not to be upset."

"Angie is who you should marry. Once she gets past whatever stupid mental block she has, you'll have a perfect wife. She's already doing that! The only thing that needs to change is her deciding she wants to sleep with you."

"Which is a pretty big thing, Liz."

"OK, but tell me I'm wrong. You guys go to church together, pray together, run together, go to karate together, and act as if you're married, minus sex."

"You aren't wrong. The dorm agrees, by the way. They call her 'Mrs. Loucks' behind her back.

"No shit, Mikey! You know it, too. And you have a fallback, really."

"Oh?"

"Let's say you get to your graduation, and Angie still hasn't given it up; Tasha will still be there. She'll only be twenty, and I can't imagine her giving up on you in less than a year or so. Well, unless you tell her 'no' and make it your final answer."

"You really believe that?"

"I saw how Angie acted here and how she acted when I was in McKinley. One day, she's going to decide that Michael Loucks should get her cherry, and that'll be the end of it."

"You seem pretty sure."

Liz nodded, "The only thing I think could mess that up would be you being a complete idiot and asking Jocelyn to marry you because you're on some sort of stupid guilt trip about her."

"I do have some responsibility for what happened."

"For what? Her practically dragging you to Cincinnati to take each other's virginity? Something you wanted from the time you were fourteen? For her deciding to go to Purdue and then changing her mind? For her having her accident? Those things aren't your fault, Mikey. I may think the counselors were mostly idiots, but one of them did explain responsibility really well."

"Which one?"

"Doctor Paulus. I've actually talked to her a bunch of times. Mom said you thought she was awesome."

"I liked Doctor Mercer from Milford better, but yes, Doctor Paulus was very helpful. And Jocelyn isn't even talking to me right now."

"Which I suspect is driving you just crazy enough to try something desperate."

"I won't do that," I said. "And what makes you think she'll say 'yes'?"

Liz laughed, "Boys can be SO clueless at times. What do you think she wants? Why is she pushing you away?"

"I can't see Jocelyn doing that!" I protested. "Not to me!"

"She was desperate enough to try to kill herself. Trust me, I know about that kind of desperation. Alcohol. Drugs. Unprotected sex. None of it worked. If you and Mom and Dad hadn't sent me to Columbus, I probably would have killed myself, either intentionally or unintentionally. And despite that stupid bitch of a doctor insisting you and I had sex, going there was the only thing that saved my life."

"That's a very different attitude from last year."

"Good counselors help. I know you're still seeing yours. Mom mentioned it to encourage me to keep talking to Doctor Paulus."

"Have you told Doctor Paulus about Paul?"

"She knows how I feel, but I didn't tell her about writing him."

"And what has she said?"

"Basically, the same things you have. Everyone thinks he manipulated and abused me. He didn't. I wanted to be with him. I want to be with him. He treated me well and loved me. And the sex was out of this world!"

"Too much information!" I protested.

"Oh, please!" Liz said, laughing softly. "It's not like I'm describing what we did! And I was the one who asked him to make love to me!"

"You really think I should tell Katy 'no'?"

"No, you should tell her 'not yet'; well, unless you're sure she's not the right girl."

"You seem sure."

"But it's not up to me, is it?" Liz asked.

"No."

"What are you doing for the rest of the weekend?"

"I'm going to Vespers, then I have a date with Tasha, then Matins and Liturgy in the morning, and I'll head back to McKinley after I take Tasha to lunch. Why?"

"Mindy will be here in about an hour. Mom suggested I tell you so you could hide!"

I laughed, "I think I'll go find something to do."

"Mom and Dad are going out this afternoon..." Liz smirked.

"No!" I said insistently. "I know your take on it, in addition to my own opinion."

"If she's so determined to give it up, and she is, I think I'd rather it be you than some idiot jock, even if the very idea turns my stomach!"

"Gee, thanks, Lizard Breath! But I'll pass, and for good reasons."

"Can I have a hug before you go?"

We stood, and I pulled Liz into my arms and held her for a couple of minutes, then kissed the top of her head and released her. She left my room, and I went downstairs to let Mom know I was going to be out for the day.

"Liz told you Mindy is coming over?"

"And that you're going out. I mean, I could stay..."

"And do what, Mike?" Mom asked with an arched eyebrow.

"Why, what comes naturally when a male of the species encounters a willing female of the species!"

"And one of the key differentiators between homo sapiens and the rest of the animal kingdom is the ability NOT to act like a male dog when the females are in heat!"

"I'd suggest that's not as much a differentiator as you think it is!" I chuckled.

"I said 'ability', Mike, not that they actually did!"

"But Mom, shouldn't we honor reasonable requests? Isn't it just polite?"

"You're becoming just as much of a smart aleck as I was, much to your grandfather's disgust and your grandmother's amusement!"

"I would have thought the other way around!"

"Had I been Isaak Mikhailovich instead of Rahil Mikhailovna, yes!"

"A double standard?"

"Of course! Your grandfather always treated you like 'one of the boys'. I was supposed to be 'prim and proper', which is what he expects of Liz. Just as Deacon Vasily expects of Tasha. I suspect Tasha's mom is a bit more tolerant."

"A bit," I grinned.

"So, what are you going to do, Mikhail Petrovich?" Mom asked with a smirk.

"Let's see. I think I'll go run a few errands, wait until you and Dad leave, then come back and take Mindy up on her offer. Then leave for Vespers before you return home!"

"And how many times did you do something like that growing up? Hmm?"

"Never," I laughed. "You know I'm teasing because YOU are teasing ME." I paused for effect, then added, "Or are you?"

I held a straight face for a few seconds before we both started laughing.

"Go on, get out of here!" Mom said through her laughter.

I hugged her, grabbed my windbreaker, and headed out to my car. I didn't really have anything to do, and despite all the teasing, I wasn't going to be anywhere near Miss Mindy Ellison, despite her curvy figure and lovely breasts ... not to mention other very interesting parts! I pushed the image of Mindy's wonderful breasts bouncing as she rode me out of my mind and headed for the hardware store to say hello to Mr. Orlov.

About halfway there, I remembered that Janey might be working. I wasn't sure if she'd been hired, but it wouldn't surprise me because Mr. Orlov liked to hire kids from church whenever he could. I wasn't thrilled with the idea of running into her, though having teased so much about Mindy, my mind immediately went to the reason Janey and I had our fight. A reason which no longer existed.

I laughed out loud at how my thinking had shifted over the previous eighteen months — from agonizing over having sex to having what amounted to 'comfort sex' when I 'cuddled' with Sophia to 'stress-relief sex' when Sandy and I screwed, occasionally loving and gentle, but mostly trying to wear each other out. And despite the recurring thoughts of Mindy's fantastic breasts, I knew doing it with her was a bad idea all around.

I pulled into the lot at the hardware store and parked in the 'employee' area because I didn't mind walking a bit further to the door and wasn't planning on carrying anything back out to my car. I went inside and walked towards the back, greeting a couple of people I knew, both customers and employees.

"Hello, Mikhail Petrovich!" Mr. Orlov called out when he saw me.

"Hi, Mr. Orlov!"

"How are you?"

"Good. I just thought I'd stop in and say hello. How are things going?"

"Business is good, and my wife and I are healthy, as are our children and grandchildren. That means I have nothing to complain about. How is school?"

"All A's, and I have some very good friends there."

"Excellent. I assume you came home to see Natalya Vasilyevna?"

"And to talk to my mom, yes."

"A good woman, Rahil Mikhailovna! And your father is a good man, too, Mischa."

I nodded, "Yes."

"Would you like forty hours between Christmas and New Year's? Sergei will be in Florida with his family, so you could have his shift from 10:00am to 6:30pm."

"Sold!" I said quickly.

"Finances are OK?" he asked quietly.

"Yes. But I take every chance I can to build my reserves."

"A wise move, Mischa. I will put you on the schedule for that week. Thank you!"

"You're welcome. I'm very glad I stopped in!"

"As am I. Will we see you at church tonight?"

I smiled, "Of course. I go every Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday in McKinley. And church is where Tasha is going to be!"

He laughed, "A faithful AND wise young man! Now, I must get back to work."

We shook hands, and I left the office and headed for the doors, trying to decide what to do for the rest of the afternoon. As I pushed the door open, I heard my name called. I turned to see Janey wearing the usual red smock of an employee. I stopped and turned, and walked back to where she was cutting a key for someone. I waited until she finished.