Chapter 21: A Good Talk With Mom

October 8, 1982, Circleville, Ohio

"I do," I replied. "No question! We reset things for good reasons. Why the change?"

Katy got up from the couch and sat back down in my lap, draping her arms over my shoulders.

"I wanted to from the minute I saw you naked. I've dreamed about what it would be like."

"I felt the same way when I saw you naked," I said. "Well, even before, when you first let me touch you. But I can't promise you anything right now, Katy."

She sighed deeply, then moved her face very close to mine.

"I know," she said quietly.

She kissed me, then put her head on my shoulder and snuggled close when I wrapped my arms around her. There was no doubt in my mind I wanted her, but my experience with Jocelyn warned me crossing that line would change things in ways I couldn't predict. What we both wanted to do wouldn't be like the casual situations with the girls at school or back home, including Becky, but it also would be the ironclad, irrevocable commitment to marry no matter what commitment it would be with Tasha.

We cuddled for several minutes before she sat up and rested her arms on my shoulders again. While we sat in silence, I noticed the faint hum of the furnace and the distant ticking of the grandfather clock which stood in their great room. I breathed in the light scent of Katy's body spray — lavender, I thought, and simply enjoyed holding her in my arms.

She shifted slightly, then stared deeply into my eyes for a moment before she spoke.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," I agreed.

"Do you remember that talk we had back in August? After my dad basically offered a dowry?"

"Sure," I replied with a goofy smile. "I still don't have any use for fifty cows!"

"Silly!" Katy exclaimed, lightly slapping my shoulder.

"What about it?"

"You know I'm applying to colleges now, and I wondered, if I went to Ohio State, you would want to live together."

"That seems like a very big step," I said. "Way bigger than you asking me to go to bed with you."

"I know."

"How would it work with the two colleges and finances?"

Katy laughed softly, "Always practical!"

"I pretty much have to be; I thought you were, too."

"If Mom and Dad rented a place for us in Circleville, it would be about halfway between both schools."

"Would they actually do that? Without us being married?"

"Yes."

"Wouldn't it be a commitment? I mean, you know, living together and sleeping in the same bed and stuff?"

"Yes, of course."

"Then why not marry immediately? I mean, at that point, what's the difference other than the piece of paper?"

"I accept!" she exclaimed gleefully, then her face changed. "Sorry, that just kind of popped out."

"This is kind of out of the blue," I said gently. "I'm not saying 'no', but you caught me completely off guard. What happened?"

Katy took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"I really, really want to make love with you. I've been thinking about it like non-stop for a couple of weeks, and I guess I was considering what it meant. You know, could I do it just because I wanted to feel good and make you feel good? I could, I think, but I don't want to just do it for the sake of doing it, if that makes sense."

"It does."

"You know my parents like you a lot, right?"

"Yes."

"Well, I decided to talk to my mom about us. Please don't be upset, OK? She was totally cool. I told her how I felt and what I wanted. We had a really good talk, and it helped me think more clearly about things. She made some excellent points about you and me, about college, and about sex."

"You told your mom you wanted to have sex with me?"

Katy laughed softly, "She knew that last year! In fact, she was pretty sure we'd already gone all the way. Obviously, it didn't freak them out."

"No, but it sure as heck explains the talk I had with your parents back in August."

"I know. I was telling the truth then, Mike. I didn't know they suspected, or rather, were certain we were already doing it."

"Their response to that was to agree to allow us to live together?"

"Dad actually said get married, but Mom was OK if that came later. She won, as she usually does."

"You said 'if' you go to Ohio State."

"I have to decide between Ohio State and Stanford. I haven't been accepted to either yet, but I'm sure I will be with my grades, SAT and ACT scores, and letters of recommendation."

"Does your decision rest on my answer?"

She nodded, "Yes. If we're together, I'll go to Ohio State; if not, then I want to go to Stanford."

"Were you going to tell me all of this before we made love if I hadn't asked?"

"That was part of my struggle. I want to do it with you, Mike. I want to do it so badly I almost can't stand it. I thought about waiting until afterwards to tell you, but I was afraid you would feel trapped. It wasn't meant as a trap, but I think you would have felt that way. So I decided I had to tell you first. That's a long way of saying I would have told you even without you asking."

"When do you need to decide on which school?"

"In the Spring — probably by March or April at the latest. You have some time to think about it, and we have time to work out the details before next Fall."

"I almost feel like I'm deciding your future."

"Wouldn't that eventually be true if you asked me to marry you?"

"I suppose it would," I admitted.

"Ohio State is not a bad school. I'll easily be able to get a job, and I'm sure I'd find something I'd be happy doing. Stanford would give me more possibilities, but not so much more that I'd risk losing you over it."

"That's really where you want to go, isn't it?"

"Have you ever had competing interests? Where you had to balance the plusses and minuses?"

"Absolutely."

"In most cases, you end up trading one desire for another, right?"

"Usually, if not always."

"According to my dad, your goal should be to maximize the positive and minimize the negative. Being with you is far more of a pro than going to Stanford, but if I can't have you, then the pros of staying here are pretty small."

"You do remember I was hoping to put this decision off for a few years, right?"

She nodded, "Yes. Me going to Stanford doesn't have to be the end, but I'm afraid that if I'm 2000 miles away and only see you during the Summer and on breaks, and take a permanent relationship off the table for four years, we most likely won't happen. Does that make sense?"

"Perfectly."

"Though you could go to Stanford Medical School in three years ... if I was important enough."

"Katy..." I sighed.

"Sorry. That sounded like a threat or something. I didn't mean it that way. I just meant you might consider that option, which I know you haven't."

"My mind is spinning right now," I said.

"How about we take a sauna?" she asked. "I promise to behave."

I chuckled, "I believe I'm the one who's supposed to make that promise!"

"You aren't the one so horny you can't see straight!" Katy laughed. "I promise not to attack you!"

We headed to the basement, and Katy turned on the sauna. We cuddled on the couch in the basement until the rocks in the sauna heater had come up to temperature, then undressed and went in. Katy ladled water onto the hot rocks, and steam began to rise, filling the small wooden room with the sharp, clean scent of heated stone.

We settled down naked on towels on the bench, and sweat quickly beaded on our skin, humid air wrapping itself around us like a heavy blanket, making every breath deliberate. After a few minutes, I decided to restart the conversation, despite being distracted by the soft curves of her body.

"So, how would this work?" I asked.

"Well," she smirked, "first, you get me excited, then you push yourself into me and move around and make us both feel really good!"

"I know how that works, Yekaterina Dmitryevna!"

"Oh, you meant the other stuff?" she smirked.

"Yes!"

"Well, Mom and Dad would rent a place for us and pay for it, along with any utilities, plus give us some money towards food and gasoline. We'd have the money you currently spend on your dorm, too. I'd work during the Summers."

"What about my Summer job in West Monroe?"

"You could find one in Circleville or talk to Mr. Sokolov about working at his store full time."

"That won't work because it would put either Nancy or Paula out of their full-time jobs during the Summer, and I wouldn't do that."

"That makes sense. There are other businessmen at church. Heck, you might be able to even work in the mailroom at Dad's bank or something like that. They take college students."

"What about my study group? I wouldn't be home until nearly midnight, and I'd have to drive back for early morning classes. I'd also have to spend lots of time on campus, including Sunday nights for our study group."

"I'd still see you more than I do now, and besides, you told me medical school would be worse."

"True."

"You'd still sleep with me every night, which is a MAJOR plus!"

"I think maybe a cold shower is a better idea than a hot sauna!"

"Do you know what surprises me the most?"