Chapter 14: Manipulation

August 28, 1982, West Monroe, Ohio

"Duh!" she laughed softly. "I'm in your bed! What do you think?"

"I think you need to go back to my sister's room before she or my parents find out and kill both of us!"

"Come on, Mike! I want to do it with you! Don't you want to do it with me?!"

She was cute and had a great body, but the LAST thing I needed was ANY kind of relationship with Mindy, even one where I only did what I'd joked with my mom about doing — banged her like a drum!

"Just go, please," I said.

She sighed and got out of bed. I breathed my own small sigh of relief, which turned out to be premature. She stopped, turned on the overhead light, and struck a pose. She was stark naked! Unfortunately, the vision of her body had the very reaction I was trying to avoid. Fortunately, the sheets hid my erection from her view, as seeing that would only encourage her.

"Are you sure you want me to go?" she asked coquettishly.

I was absolutely sure in my mind, but other parts of my body had other ideas. The big head and the little head did battle, and the big head won.

"Yes," I said firmly. "Put on your sleep shirt and go back to Liz's room. Now."

Mindy pouted and didn't move for about fifteen seconds. When she saw in my face I wasn't going to budge, she picked up her sleep shirt and slipped it over her head. Wordlessly, she turned off the light, then slipped quietly from the room, closing the door gently behind her. I got up, re-locked the door, and got back into bed. I had a tough time falling asleep, but I eventually did.

In the morning, I was up early and showered and dressed before anyone else was out of bed. Mom came into the kitchen just as I was finishing my tea and toast.

"Sneaking out early?"

I nodded, "Mindy picked the lock to my room sometime after midnight."

"I'm hoping you sent her away."

I smirked, "What do you think a nineteen-year-old boy does when he sees a naked sixteen-year-old girl in his room? Or, more importantly, in his bed?"

"THIS nineteen-year-old boy better have sent her back to his sister's room!" Mom said.

"He did. The question is, what did he do BEFORE he sent her back to his sister's room?" I said with a silly smile. "Perhaps he picker HER lock!"

"Mike..." Mom said, indicating her obvious disapproval.

"Nothing happened, Mom. I told her to leave, and she did."

"Good. I'll have a word with her, privately, in case Liz doesn't know."

"I suspect Liz doesn't know," I said. "She'd have made a big stink if Mindy tried to come to my room with her knowledge."

"You did the right thing, Mike."

"It would only have been a matter of who killed me first — you or Liz."

Mom shook her head, "You make your own decisions, Mike. I would have been disappointed with you, but you have to decide what's best for you. That's not my job anymore."

"Which doesn't mean you'll stop telling me what you think I should do!" I grinned.

"When was the last time I TOLD you to do anything? I just ask you the difficult questions you should already be asking yourself. As for Liz, well, probably. And your father would have been VERY upset with you."

"Dad still doesn't get it, does he?"

"Your dad still has a lot of Calvinism in him, even twenty-two years later. It's hard to undo that kind of thinking when it's so ingrained. You'll always have Orthodox sensibilities, even if you were to stop going to church. It would take a serious, determined effort, or some kind of major emotional trauma in your life, to change you so radically that your upbringing didn't affect you even later in life."

"But that's not true for everyone," I objected. "Some people change radically."

"Yes, if they reject what they were taught. You don't. Your father doesn't, at least not completely. And remember, the Orthodox teaching on sexual purity before marriage is almost identical to what he was taught growing up."

"I know. I'm going to get going. Tell Dad I'm sorry I missed him. I'll call him during the week."

"OK. Drive safely, Mike. Come home again soon."

"My coursework is going to be a real bear. That's why I'm going back this morning. I'll be home sometime next month to see Tasha. I'll do my best to have some time to see you and Dad. Just do me a favor and make sure Mindy isn't here."

"Afraid you can't resist the temptation?" Mom teased.

"It was that close," I grinned, holding my thumb and forefinger about a millimeter apart.

I got a hug from my mom and a kiss on the cheek then walked out of the house, got into my Mustang, and headed back to McKinley.

August 28, 1982, McKinley, Ohio

"Seriously?" Angie laughed.

I was taking a break from writing my paper, which I'd been doing at my desk while Angie had been reading sprawled out on the couch.

"Seriously," I confirmed.

"Talk about willpower!"

"More like fear for my life from my little sister!"

"So if Liz weren't in the picture, you would have?"

"No," I said. "I don't need that kind of headache right now!"

"From anyone? Or just Mindy?"

"Before I answer, can I ask a question?"

"Sure."

"You're not planning to strip right now, are you?"

"No, you goofball!" Angie laughed.

"Then from anyone," I chuckled.

"So if I stripped naked and asked you to do it, you would?"

"You're not going to!"

"Humor me," she laughed.

"You'll have to do it to find out."

"Fat chance," she laughed. "As you said, that's a headache I don't need now."

"I thought having a headache kept you from doing it; I didn't think it was the result of doing it!"

Angie laughed, "You've become downright silly, you know that?"

"Is that good or bad?"

"It's good. Last year, I probably wouldn't have appreciated it, but I think we've both mellowed and grown. Can I ask you a serious question?"

"Sure."

"How do you feel about Jocelyn?"

I shrugged, "The same, why?"

"You didn't try to see her when you went home. Did you even tell her you were going to be home?"

I shook my head, "No. She was pretty clear she wanted time apart and didn't want to see me again before she left. Why?"

"Because I care about you and don't want to see you get hurt."

"It's too late for that," I sighed. "It's a matter of trying to put things back together."

"OK, hurt worse."

I shrugged, "I don't know if there's a way to avoid that risk. I want to fix things, and I have to try. At least she's talking to me and sounding a bit more like her old self."

"Well, you know I'm here for you, and so is Clarissa."

"Hmm..." I smirked. "You and Clarissa..."

"You are SO bad!" Angie laughed. "I swear, Amelia and Janey really changed you! And nothing happened?"

"Nothing happened. That's not what I need right now."

"But you said if I took off my clothes..." Angie teased.

"And I know you won't do that. Which is exactly the disconnect that caused the problem between me and Janey. She was sure I would, from the teasing, and was angry when I told her I had no intention of doing it, which is why I was OK with the teasing."

"Are you SURE I won't?" Angie laughed.

"Yes! And when did YOU get like this?"

"I used to be, but then kind of pulled my head back into my shell. You make me comfortable enough to stick my head out, at least a bit."

"Good. I like your silly side."

"Please keep it private, OK? I don't mind if you joke around with the gang, but not me, except in here, OK?"

"Sure. The secret that Angie Stephens is fun to be around is safe with me!"

"OK, now you're just being a jerk!" she laughed.

I downed the last of my Coke.

"I need to get back to my paper, unless..."

"Go write your paper!" she laughed.

I finished just in time for us to leave for Vespers, and when we arrived back on campus, we joined the rest of the gang at a dorm social.

"Did we miss anything?" I asked Pete when we walked in.

"Not much. The ice cream is good, but the music sucks. They should have let YOU run the music. I think your album collection is about ten times as varied as what they're playing."

"Who's running the music?" I asked.

"A guy from the dorm. Not sure how they found him."

"Meet anyone interesting?"

"See that cute little brunette and her friend over by the punch bowl?"

"Yep."

"Her name is Tracy," Pete said with a grin. "She's a Freshman. First time away from home!"

I laughed, "Don't tell Clark!"

"You didn't notice his door closed? He found some cute little thing, and it took all of ten minutes to convince her to go upstairs!"

"Of course it did! And let me guess, Carter struck out."

"He's been talking to a Senior for the past half hour. He might be making progress. Here comes Tracy."

She and her friend walked up.

"Tracy, this is my friend Mike and my friend Angie. Angie, Mike, this is Tracy, and I'm sorry, I forgot your friend's name."

"Theresa," the other girl said.

"Theresa," Pete said. "Sorry."

We chatted a bit before Angie and I moved on to talk with Clarissa, who was talking with three girls I recognized but didn't know. She introduced them as Valerie, Tess, and Gina. They were also Freshmen.

"How did Freshmen get into Rickenbacker?" Angie asked.

"They needed more girls to balance things out," Gina said. "There are about two dozen Freshman girls on the sixth floor. It was a surprise, really. We were supposed to be in another dorm, but when we arrived for orientation, they sent us here. I'm glad because I was stuck in the all-girls dorm!"

"Supposedly, that's going away next year, and they'll all be co-ed, though some will be like the sixth floor here, which is all girls."

"Now, when they offer co-ed rooms, THEN it'll be a lot of fun!" Valerie laughed. "But my parents would have a heart attack!"

"Mine, too!" Tess said. "But a guy roommate? Yeah! Well, assuming I could pick him!"

I laughed, "Could you imagine the computer randomly assigning you a guy?"

"Ewww!" Tess and Valerie both exclaimed.

"Oh, I don't know," Gina smirked. "You could get lucky!"

"In more ways than one!" I replied.

Angie punched me softly on the arm, but she was laughing as well.

"Girlfriend, right?" Gina asked, nodding towards Angie.

"No, just his friend," Angie said. "Somebody has to keep him from going off the rails!"

"That's when it gets fun!" Tess laughed.

"I'm pre-med," I said. "I need all the help I can get coloring between the lines!"

"Is that as tough as they say it is?"

Clarissa and I looked at each other, nodded, and declared, "Yes!"

"College is supposed to be fun!" Valerie objected.

"So they keep telling us," Clarissa said. "I told you about our honors biology class and how much we study."

"Crazy," Gina said.

"I'd say that's an apt description of these two," Angie smirked.

"Gee, thanks!" I laughed.

We circulated more, meeting about two dozen people, before we headed upstairs to say our evening prayers. As usual, I walked Angie down the hall to her room and got a hug, but the kiss was about a quarter on the lips with the rest on the cheek. She winked at me, and went into her room, while I watched, slightly stunned by what had just happened.

August 29, 1982, McKinley, Ohio

As I showered on Sunday morning, I wondered what I should say to Angie, if anything. I tried to reconcile her 'just friends' statement with the kiss and wink. Might it have something to do with private versus public, similar to her point about teasing? And if so, then what? I liked Angie a lot, but I'd been so firmly in the 'friend' classification for a year that I didn't really consider her for anything other than a friendship. I'd said as much to several people, but now I began to wonder if the people who had compared her to a wife might not be onto something.

If they were, then what? I'd just managed to get myself into what I felt was a pretty good frame of mind, minus the situation with Jocelyn, though I was hopeful about that. I'd counted on Angie being my closest friend and confidante, with Clarissa becoming a close friend as well. Now, it looked as if things might get complicated just when I was happy with the simplicity I'd created.

I rinsed the shampoo from my hair and the soap from my body then dried off, went to my room, and dressed. I decided the only thing I could do was to wait and see what happened next. Angie was still seeing her counselor, but we hadn't talked about that in ages. I had an appointment to see Doctor Hart on Tuesday, and I felt I could talk to him about the situation and get some advice.

Everything was normal at church and afterwards in the church hall. We sat with Katy, as we usually did, and chatted amiably. Before we left, I confirmed my date for Friday with Katy, and then Angie and I headed back to the dorm. When we went to my room, I found a note saying that Becky van Dorn had called. I quickly changed and dialed the number she'd left.

"Hi!" she gushed.

"What's up?"

"I just wanted to talk to you. We haven't talked in almost a month. I'm leaving for Central Michigan in about an hour. How are things?"

"Good. It's going to be a tough semester because of honors biology."

"I bet. How's Jocelyn?"

I sighed, "She's not here. We had, well, a falling out, and she decided to go to Purdue instead."

"Holy Toledo! What happened?"

"It's a long story," I said. "I'm trying to piece things back together."

"I could come visit next weekend if you need someone to cheer you up!"

"Tempting," I said. "But I'm doing OK."

"I could come, and we could just fool around all weekend!"

"Also tempting," I replied. "But next weekend is really busy. Get settled in school, and then let's talk."

"You're always practical, aren't you?"

"Most of the time, yes. You managed to talk me out of being practical on a couple of occasions!"

Becky laughed, "It was glorious, Mike! You know I'll do that with you anytime, anyplace!"

"I'm thinking you might want to restrict that 'anyplace' a bit!" I laughed.

"I guarantee I'd do it anyplace YOU would!" she laughed.

"Actually, right now, that's no place."

"What? Did I do something wrong?"

"No. Just all the stuff that's happened in the past few months is really weighing on me, and I decided to not do that with anyone."

"Melody must be fit to be tied!"

"We broke up. And it was before I made that decision."

"You aren't seeing anyone now?"

"I'm still going out with Tasha and Katy, but I'm not getting involved with anyone in a serious way."

"Wow! For how long?"

"Until I get my head on straight. It's a work in progress."

"Call me sometimes, please."

"I will. Write me with your phone number and address at Central Michigan."

"I will. And I'll come see you, Mike. I want to help."

"Thanks. Talk to you soon."

We said 'goodbye', and I went out to the common area to meet the gang for our Sunday afternoon trip to the lake. We spent a few hours there, ate dinner at the burger joint, then came back to campus for our study period. At bedtime, Angie kissed me the same way she had before and winked as she went into her room.

August 31, 1982, McKinley, Ohio

"How was your Summer, Mike?" Doctor Hart asked after he ushered me into his office.

"That's a question for which there is no simple answer."

"You seem in good spirits; what happened?"

I started at the beginning and took him through the events of the Summer plus the first week of school. He didn't ask any questions; he just let me tell the story.

"I'm assuming it's OK to be blunt?"

"Yes."

"It was foolish of you to resume your sexual relationship with Jocelyn. It was foolish of you to have sexual relations with Becky. It was wise to refuse the advances of this young woman, Mindy. It was also wise to refuse Janey."

"And Melody?"

"Neutral. The readjustment of your relationship with Katy is a positive development. So is your friendship with Clarissa."

"And Angie?"

"That one has me just as stumped as it does you! Where would you like to begin?"

"Jocelyn; where else?"

We spent the better part of a half-hour discussing my relationship with Jocelyn, and I felt much better at the end. Identifying where I'd failed her helped immensely, though I had no idea if I could restore our previous closeness.

"I think you understand better why I said you had acted foolishly," Doctor Hart said.

"I never said I disagreed with you, did I?"

"No, come to think of it, you didn't. Have you figured out your biggest issue?"

I shook my head, "No."

"You're very easy to manipulate, Mike. That's especially the case with young women who offer sex. This last month, you've found the inner strength to resist. Look, you know I don't have a problem with pre-marital sex. That's not the issue. It's how you handle it, what it means to you, and how it affects your life that matters."

"That really only happened with Becky and Melody," I protested.

"And Jocelyn. Not the first time, but the second. And the third. And Nancy, the second time. At least from everything you've said."

I took a deep breath and let it out.

"I don't think Jocelyn manipulated me."

"Debating that issue will get us nowhere, but I want you to think about what happened after Jocelyn got out of the hospital. We'll talk about it at our next meeting in two weeks. There's another thing I'd like you to think about, too."

"What's that?"

"The end game, if you will. You made it clear that you intend to be chaste until you, and I'm quoting here, 'get your head on straight.' What happens then?"

"I planned to worry about it when I get to that point."

"And that, Mike, is extremely dangerous. You need a game plan."

I shook my head, "Which is what Janey took me to task for — having a too-detailed game plan."

"Why did she do that, Mike? What was HER game plan?"

I smiled, "To goad me into sleeping with her."

"Very good. Mindy was simply less subtle."

"I'd hardly describe waking up to a naked sixteen-year-old in my bed as 'less subtle'!"

"OK, that was fairly outrageous!" he laughed, then continued. "Without a game plan, you risk falling back into the same pattern of behavior. You admitted just how close it was that you took the young woman up on her offer."