Chapter 9: Salvage Operation

July 25, 1982, West Monroe, Ohio

"Hi, Angie, it's Mike," I said when she answered the phone on Sunday afternoon.

"Mike? We just talked during the week! What's up? Is there a problem with me coming to visit in two weeks?"

"No, not at all. I wanted to talk to you about the problems I'm having with Jocelyn."

"Uh-oh. Did something bad happen?"

"You could say that," I sighed. "Do you have time to talk? This won't be a short conversation."

"For you? Of course!"

I explained, as best I could, what had happened. There really wasn't a way to leave out the fact that Jocelyn and I had been intimate and that I'd ended that part of the relationship. I felt bad for talking about it, but I needed advice, and there really was nowhere else to turn. Angie mostly listened, only asking one question to clarify something I said which seemed contradictory.

"So, I guess you can see the problem now," I said after I finished explaining.

"First, please don't get depressed."

"Too late," I said.

I'd been fine when I'd arrived home from my date with Tasha the previous night but hadn't been able to get to sleep because everything that had happened with Jocelyn had churned in my mind, and by morning, I was an emotional wreck all over again. Church hadn't helped the way it usually did, and I'd left immediately after the service, begging off from even having coffee by saying I wasn't feeling well. Tasha hadn't been happy, but she'd said she understood.

"Depression is dangerous, Mike," Angie warned. "I have a friend who basically shut down for nearly a year before she got help, and even now, she's barely able to function. We were worried she might try to kill herself."

"That's not going to happen," I said. "I'd never do that."

"Well, then please don't do anything foolish."

"My mom said the same thing."

"How can I put this delicately? You can't get out of it from, uh, physical pleasure."

Despite my sour mood, I couldn't help but laugh.

"So I can't screw my way to a good mood?" I asked.

Angie tittered, "No, I don't think you can."

"It might be fun to try!" I countered.

"Is that what you really want, Mike? Just physical pleasure?"

"No, of course not! But you and my mom seem to think I might try that solution. I do have a bit more self-control than the two of you seem to think."

"I know, Mike, but depression is dangerous."

"You know this just from your friend?"

Angie sighed, "No. From me."

"What?! You don't seem depressed!"

"We can talk about me later. I'm concerned about you."

"I'm not going to do anything stupid, Angie," I said. "I called for advice from a close friend."

"You might not want to hear this, but maybe Jocelyn is right. Maybe time apart is just what you need. She can get her head straight, and you can, too. You just broke up with Melody, after all."

"More like she broke up with me," I said.

"Over something you did, knowing she would have a problem with it. Honestly, if I understand it correctly, you could've slept with literally anyone you wanted except Jocelyn and Melody would have been OK with it, at least in the short term. You guys weren't steady, and she wasn't jealous of anyone, including me, and you spend far more time with me than you do with her."

"Fine," I said testily. "I caused the breakup."

"Relax, Mike," Angie said soothingly. "If you want my honest opinion, and I think you do — it was doomed from the start. You simply ended it sooner than it would have ended naturally. She was never, ever going to compromise enough for you on the church issue. You knew that, even before we talked about it when you visited me. You were just in denial."

"Because I decided to simply put off dealing with concerns about church for the future?"

"Why did you do that?"

"Melody made a good argument that we could work out a compromise over time. Well, it seemed like a good argument until I realized her ultimate goal."

"Besides getting you into bed?"

"You still think she was trying to manipulate me, don't you?"

"I've seen it happen, Mike. Please don't get angry with me for saying this, but isn't that sort of what Jocelyn is doing now? Demanding sex as a price for staying with you?"

"It's more complicated than that," I said. "I think in Jocelyn's mind, me saying 'not now' is the equivalent of saying 'not ever', and I told you my concern."

"Children."

"Yes. I'm not ready to make a decision about that right now because I don't know for sure how I feel about it. I thought I did, but now I'm only sure I'm not sure. I was really hoping for a few peaceful years by not worrying about things that far in the future, but it looks like that's not going to happen."

"Perhaps Jocelyn going away for a while will help you achieve that goal."

"I don't see how. She's been my best friend forever."

"You don't think she will be if she's somewhere else for a while?"

"I'm afraid we'll grow apart," I sighed.

"Maybe you both need to grow, and this is how it happens."

"Maybe, but I'm concerned about her."

"That's a different thing from the problem of being apart. You're sad; she sounds like she might be depressed."

"My mom talked to Jocelyn's mom, and I guess Mrs. Mills is going to talk to the counselor who helped Jocelyn after the accident."

"That's good. Are you going to be OK?"

"I have some friends here who are helping."

"Good."

There really wasn't anything else to say, so after a bit of small talk, we said 'goodbye' and ended our call.

July 26, 1982, West Monroe, Ohio

"Still in a playful mood?" Amelia asked when we met in the parking lot of the hardware store on Monday morning.

I wasn't, really, but I felt I needed to put on a good face, lest I create bigger problems for myself; it might also help me stave off Angie's concern — clinical depression.

"Yes!" I said, hoping I sounded convincing. "But you sure weren't!"

"Janey was really in the groove at the pool! She loves to tease and joke around like that."

"Is she really that wild? Or was it all just talk?"

"No comment," Amelia said with a smirk. "You precluded finding out firsthand because you think she's too young, even though she's 17."

"Are you that wild?" I asked.

"You chose not to find out because I'm dating someone!"

"Maybe Truth or Dare would be a great idea!"

"You refused to play because you're afraid of Mindy! I don't understand that! she's 16, so she's legal, and she was looking at you like a hunting cat looks at a mouse!"

"Being 'legal' isn't the question. As I said at the pool, she's still a High School girl, and I'm in college."

Amelia shrugged, "Suit yourself. You can get the answers to your questions if you really want them! You never know what else might happen!"

"Truthfully, that's probably the last thing I need right now."

"You're a college guy! You should only be worried about three things — your grades, your supply of booze or weed, and your supply of pussy!"

"And college girls?" I asked. "What do they worry about?"

"Grades, booze or weed, and dick!" she laughed.

"I'm not sure that's the best outlook."

"Oh, come on! College is the time when we're supposed to do all that stuff. Then we graduate, get jobs, get married, have kids, and become our parents! If you don't 'let it all hang out' now, when you're in college, then when?"

"Who says you have to live your life that way?"

Amelia shrugged, "Nobody. But once you start working and have a family, you won't have that chance. You'll become a doctor, live in a nice, conservative neighborhood in a nice house, have a pretty wife, 2.2 kids, a dog, a cat, and a relatively calm life.

"What happens when you realize you missed out on doing some stuff that you can't do because of all of that? A midlife crisis, that's what! My uncle and aunt are divorced because he woke up one day and decided he wanted a sports car, a young girlfriend, and no responsibilities."

"He just bailed on all of his commitments?"

"Basically."

"I don't see that happening with me."

"Maybe not to that extreme, but you could be unhappy and unfulfilled for the rest of your life."

"Because I don't drink and don't fool around?"

"Those were just examples, but they are what college kids do, you know!"

"So you're telling me I should find a way to get a bottle of booze and get you into bed? And your sister?"

"Is that what you want?"

"I suppose it depends."

"On?"

"If I can get you both at the same time!" I grinned.

Amelia laughed and smacked me on the arm.

"I like you when you're goofy, and so does Janey. You're a lot of fun."

"So, no threesome?" I smirked.

"You never know what might happen if you play Truth or Dare."

"I think we need to get to work!"

We both laughed and walked into the building. I marveled at the fact that when I was with Amelia and Janey, I was in a much better mood than I was otherwise. I enjoyed the silly banter and the teasing, and it was helping with my attitude. That didn't change the fact I was sad about the situation with Jocelyn, but it certainly helped take the edge off, as it were.

Amelia and I didn't have a chance to talk during the morning, but we did have lunch together, as Mrs. Orlova included Amelia in our lunches because she was Orthodox. Of course, eating with the Orlovs meant our conversation had to be «культурный» (kulturny). Because our afternoon was busy as well, we didn't talk again until we were walking out to our cars. ("polite")