Chapter 25

I dragged myself back to work and gradually reintegrated with the world. Three years had passed when I saw Kara again, and I hadn’t dated once, thinking I would never find Sandy’s equal again. I channeled my energy into business. I owned eleven stores, with plans to add five more in the next eight months.

I was also into real estate development, finding distressed real estate close to each store. I’d buy if the price was right, renovate, and with the interest my storefronts generated, either lease or sell for a pretty good profit. I had a fleet of seven trucks, all bearing the likeness of the Grandmothers, rolling constantly. With the addition of the next five stores I would have to buy at least two more.

I still hired as many minorities and disadvantaged people as I could. Counting all the businesses, I had two hundred people working for me full-time, and twice that many part-timers. I’d expanded the foundation arm of my little empire, and lots of part-timers and children of full-timers went through at least two years of college on my dime. My health insurance program was one of the best around, and that alone drew many employees. Yes, I could probably have saved a ton of money by offering a cheaper plan, but I still had my core values, and besides, how much money could one person need?

I had sent Kara an email, telling her to come if she wanted. She replied within three minutes, wanting details and asking what kind of gift she could bring.

I emailed back saying a gift wasn’t necessary, giving her the time and location. Of course, she got them a really nice gift, a top of the line K-cup machine and a certificate for a year’s supply of premium coffee.

It was hard not to be impressed when she showed up. Always a beautiful woman, she had apparently learned less is more when she applied makeup, though I figured she went a little heavy around her eyes to hide the small wrinkles. She hugged Ashley and Mickey, thanking them again for inviting her. I was best man so I didn’t have a lot of time to spend with her. I did get a chance to look at her, sitting in the second pew, as I stood beside Mickey. She was crying softly, holding tissue to her face. I wondered if she was crying for them or was thinking of our marriage. All water under the bridge, I decided.

The wedding seemed to fly by, and she surprised me by standing beside me at the reception. Mickey had warned the family and they were beyond curious. A little while later, we did the dances. I danced with Ashley while Veronica danced with Mickey, tears flowing down her smooth Asian face. Then I danced with her, thanking her from the bottom of my heart for being there for me all those years, while her husband danced with Ashley. He was crying when they broke apart. I needed to ask them what they talked about when they got back from their honeymoon.

Finally, I danced with Kara. We started out a respectable distance apart, but soon the gap had closed. I felt the wetness on my shoulder but refrained from speaking about it, giving her my hanky when we broke apart. Still teary-eyed, she rushed to the bathroom.

Coming out she found the grandmothers, all three of them, waiting for her. They took her by her arms and soon had her at a table in the back. They were joined by Veronica, Connie, Alice, Mrs. Hernandez, and virtually every woman who had a role in my life. Bet that was an interesting conversation. By the time they would be done they’d know her bra size, when she lost her virginity, every aspect of her life since birth.

Shortly afterwards she joined me at my table, staying silent for a few minutes before speaking. “You have an ‘interesting’ family Steve. The only thing they have in common is a fierce loyalty to you. Thank you for sharing the day with me. You’ll never know what it meant to me. Tell the kids I wish them the very best.”

She sighed. “There’s a lot of things I’d like to say to you, honey, but it would do no good. You have your world and I have mine.”

“Well, I don’t think your life turned out too badly. At least you have someone to share it with.”

A shadow went over her face before she gave a tender smile. “Yes I do. Your family told me about your loss. Think you’ll find someone else?”

It was time for my own shadow. “I doubt it, because I’m not looking. I’ve married three times and each ended badly, especially the last. We were destined to die together, but God had other plans.”

She put her hand on my arm. “Believe it or not, I know some of what you feel. If I may ask, what ever happened to the man who survived the robbery attempt?”

“He got seven years for armed robbery, a set term in my state. He got another fifteen-to-twenty for second degree murder. This was his fourth and fifth felony convictions, and the Judge set his time to be served consecutively. He won’t be up for parole for another twenty years and I intend to appear at his hearing. There was only twelve hundred dollars in the register. I’d have given them a hundred times that just to stay away if I’d known.”

We stood and she hugged me again. “I believe there’s someone out there for you, Steve. You’re too good a man to be alone.”

I sighed. “Maybe. I’ve married a white woman, a Hispanic, and a mixed race. I think I’ll ask Ms. Chen if she’s got any unattached relatives.”

Her arm tightened on me. “I don’t think you’ll have to go that far. When you find her, send me an invitation. You have my email address. I’ll see you again, Steve.”

She pulled my head down and gave me a soft kiss on the lips, then she was gone.

My family tried to talk to me about her and was surprised at my reaction. “That part of my past is off limits. I don’t like to think about it and I damned sure don’t want to discuss it.”

They backed off immediately.

I looked around the room, filled with the movers and shakers from ten states. It was a business dinner. I’d been voted Businessman Of The South, and in the running with three others for National Businessman Of The Year. The auditorium was pretty crowded, close to a thousand people in attendance, much more than I’d expected.

They did the lesser awards first before moving to the main event: me. I stood in the wings of the stage, waiting to be called out. A spotlight hit the edge of the stage on the opposite side and you could have knocked me over with a feather when Kara strode out in an evening gown, exuding confidence and beauty. She reached the podium and smiled.

“Thank you all for coming. Well, here we are, the highlight of the evening, presenting the award to a person that you as his peers have selected. When I found out he was in the running, I contacted the Board and begged to be the presenter if this man won.”

She paused, and I looked up at the monitors placed around the hall. Her tears were plain for all to see.

“You see, I know this man rather well. I remember him from the time he was a factory worker and part-time farmer. He was a simple man then and he has remained one through the years, even with his successes. He once told me he didn’t intend for this to happen and it all started when he did a simple act of kindness for a total stranger. That sounds exactly like the man I knew then. Even though it probably means little to him, I am inordinately proud of his success.

“Despite personal tragedy he has remained steadfast, sharing his wealth with his family, employees, and even total strangers, people he’ll probably never meet. That’s just in his DNA. I know that while he enjoys his successes, and the money it brings him, money doesn’t mark who this man is. You’ll go a long way before you can find someone who is willing to say anything negative about him. Usually it’s someone who’s wronged him, and though he is a kind and considerate man, he has little patience with those who have wronged him or his family.”

She paused again, trying to balance. “You see, when I was a young and foolish girl, I wronged him horribly. To be honest, I’m surprised he can be in the same room with me. I tried to apologize years ago, but the time wasn’t right. Now here we are, twenty years on, and I finally get to apologize and know that the man he’s become will accept it. I’m sorry Steve. I hope you do forgive me.”

She suddenly grinned. “Well, I’m sure he’ll remember this award ceremony for a long time. Ladies and Gentlemen, please let me present Steve Moore, Businessman Of The Year for the Southern Region and hopefully for the nation. Please, Steve, join me onstage.”

They pretty much pushed me out on to the stage. As I walked forward, I looked into her terrified eyes. To her shock I took her into my arms, hugging her tightly and giving her a small kiss. Then I grinned and grabbed the microphone.

“Well, bet it’ll be a while before you forget this, huh? I’d like to thank all of you for selecting me for this honor. It truly means a lot to be recognized by your peers. I think my successes and humility are a bit exaggerated, but I shall strive to live up to my reputation.”

I was holding Kara’s hand, and I turned to her. “Kara, honey, I do forgive you. We were kids then, not mature enough for a relationship as intense as what we had. I’m glad to celebrate your own successes. Despite how we started, we’ve done well for ourselves, even if it’s not together. So go home to your husband, and give him a hug for me. He married a hell of a woman.”

I turned back to the audience. “Thank you once again for this honor. Next year it will be one of you, and I’ll be just as happy for you as you are for me. Success!”

“Success,” came back to me rather loudly. I guided Kara off the stage and gave her a hug.

“Bye, Kara. And I’m not completely out of your life just yet. I really like the photos you sent of the cabin and lake. I’d like to see it sometime soon.”

She emailed me a month later, asking for a time to show me the property. I chose a Friday, to give me a chance to wrap up any outstanding business I had that may be pressing.

I’ll be honest. At 41, I was tired. The businesses weren’t the thrill they once were, I had no home life, and about the only thing that kept me going was my family, and even then, Grandma Celia’s health was failing. She was 74, and a hard life had taken its toll. She was on oxygen now, almost housebound. I made it a point to spend a lot of time with her. Her adult children had both passed, one a gang member gunned down in his late twenties, and a daughter who passed from a drug overdose when she was 39. She raised three grandchildren on her own and never once complained. Alice and Amy were fine women. I’d never met her other grandson. He was serving life in prison and told her to stop visiting him years before. She still wrote him letters but he never responded.

It was interesting how every conversation ended up being about me. “You listen to me, boy! I know I ain’t got much time left and the last thing I want to do is spending it worrying about you. I know you losing your wife almost killed you, but you were luckier than most men in this world. You got to spend two years with a woman you truly loved. Would you trade that time for anything in this universe? I didn’t think so. It’s time you moved on, before you end up old and bitter and alone in this world. Promise me you’ll think about it.”

I promised faithfully, and did for just a bit. Then I forgot about it. When I told her a few weeks later about the cabin and who was showing it to me, she grinned in delight.

“You know the family jumped her at the wedding, right? I have to say, after listening to her, I thought she was a good woman but a foolish child. She’s changed from the time you were barely twenty. She’s a woman now, a woman of integrity and honor.”

“She also assures me she’s totally faithful and devoted to her husband.”

Celia had a thoughtful look in her eyes. “You’re right, son. She is. But if something were to happen and she finds herself single again, you should reconnect and see if there’s still a spark. Not your old love, that’s dead and buried and never coming back. Go slowly; see if you can build something together. Give me your promise, Stevie.”

“You’re asking a lot, Celia. It doesn’t matter if a hundred years passes, I’ll still remember the pain and the broken heart. She may have changed; I think she has, but if in some fantasy we were able to get together, it will never completely leave my mind. If I can’t trust her, what would be the point?”

“Believe me when I tell you this. Time has a way of healing even the deepest wounds. Tell me this. How often do you think of Sandy?”

“Every day, every hour.”

“And Maria?”

I tried to remember the last time I’d thought of her. It surprised me that I couldn’t remember her face. The only time she came up in conversation was an occasional comment from Mickey. He still flew down to see her every year or so. It had been a while since the last visit. He’d been so disgusted with the way they were living and the treatment of his sisters he let her have it. He gave his mother money, hugged and kissed his sisters, and left.

Normally he didn’t talk about his visits, but he was very upset about the fate of his sisters. I promised to look into it. Three weeks later, out of the blue, both girls were offered full scholarships to the premier boarding school in the country. They jumped at the chance. The oldest had never visited her mother again and was due to graduate soon. She told her brother she wanted to go to college in the U.S. and another scholarship appeared. She was due in three weeks to spend time with Mickey and Ashley before settling into her dorm room. The college happened to be very near one of my stores and she was offered a job, three days a week and summer vacations, for spending money. She couldn’t start until she’d settled into school, and her brother made sure she had money to meet her needs.

Celia saw my face and smiled. “Now tell me, after all these years, how often do you think of Kara?”

That one was difficult. I still thought of her often, more so since she’d reappeared in my life. Grandma Celia grinned. “You never forget your first love, boy. Just sayin’.”

I took the kids with me to see the cabin. Kara was waiting, dressed in jeans and sturdy shoes. She could still fill out a pair of jeans. She smiled when she saw Ashley and Mickey.

“Hi, guys. How’s married life?”

Ashley seemed to glow. “Everything we expected and more. How are things with you?”

We all saw the shadow pass over her face before her smile returned. “My life is good, even with the challenges that have come my way lately. Now come along, and enjoy paradise.”

The house was a log and glass work of art: vaulted ceilings, four bedrooms, the master-bedroom the only room on the second floor with a balcony viewing the lake. The kitchen was state of the art, the showers modern and luxurious. The back patio had an outdoor kitchen across from the large pool, complete with bathhouse. There was a wide walkway leading down to the lake, ending at a boathouse that looked large enough to park a fleet.

The best thing about it was the complete privacy. The only access was a private road with a gate.

“This property has a hundred acres of mostly woods surrounding the fifty-acre lake. There are no close neighbors, two-thirds of the property is bordered by government land, so developers can’t touch it. If you ever want to get away from the world, this is the place. Think about it and get back to me. I have two more appointments for this property coming up, so try not to take too long or you’ll miss it.”

She switched from a salesman to a friend. “It’s perfect for you, Steve. If I can see the signs given how little I’ve been around you, your family must really be worried. You could use the downtime, a place not to think about business or the people depending on you. It’s all right to have your own life.”

There was very little I could say, so I told her I’d get back to her soon.

Mickey and Ashley raved about it on the way home. “It’s perfect, Dad. Think how much the family would enjoy it. Think about the times you could go and just relax. You used to love fishing; this would give you an opportunity to take it up again.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I’d hate to think of it sitting empty most of the time. If I had some adult children who would enjoy it, it might sway my opinion. Maybe I could talk close friends and family into helping me.”

They just grinned and talked about all the fun the family could have when I bought it.

I thought about it for two days before I called Kara back to tell her my decision. I was surprised to hear her sound like she was crying when she answered the phone.

“Are you all right?”

She controlled her sniffles to answer me. “Short answer? No. I’ve had things come up that are very painful to deal with, but I’ll get through it.”

“I’m sorry, Kara. If there’s anything I can do let me know. I’ll leave you alone now. What I wanted doesn’t sound that important right now.”

“You’re right. I’m not exactly in worker mode right now. That being said, if it’s about the cabin, just email me a letter stating intent, and I’ll take it off the market for three weeks.”

I wondered for brief moment if yet another marriage had cratered, then felt a little guilty. If it had been something like that I’m sure the tone would have been difference. I recognized the agony. It seemed a lot like what I felt when Sandy was killed.

“I’ll do that Kara, but don’t worry about it. Handle your own situation and ignore everything else. I was serious when I said if there was anything I could do to tell me.”

“That means a lot to me, Steve. Thank you. I’ll call you in a week or two. Is that all right?”

I assured her that any time was fine, held my phone and stared into space after she hung up.

Two weeks later she called and asked me to come by her office. It felt funny riding the streets of my old town, a smaller village twenty miles from my old Farmers’ Market haunts. I wondered why she hadn’t relocated to one of her other offices in the bigger cities; she’d always loved urban life.

She was thinner than I remembered and seemed tired, the lines around her eyes far more pronounced than I remembered. Even her smile was sad.

Once we got into her office she was all business. “I took the owners your offer. They immediately rejected it, then two days later they called and said they would meet you in the middle. Is that acceptable?”

Of course it was. I’d deliberately low-balled them expecting to negotiate. Their counter offer amounted to seventy-five thousand less, making it a really good deal. I told them I was agreeable and then Kara asked about financing, shocked when I told her I’d be paying cash. It came out of her before she thought. “You have that much money lying around?”

“Of course I don’t. That kind of capital needs to be working and it is. All I have to do is move things around and you’ll have a check in three weeks.”

“Well good for you. How many stores do you have now?”

“Sixteen and we’ll be adding four more before the middle of next year. That will make twenty, and I’ll probably be done.” I didn’t tell her that was on top of four stores I was picking up from a competitor who used my business model. He acquired the stores quickly enough, but he didn’t follow my practice of hiring local from part-time to top management if he could find the people. That and his prices were, on average, 15% higher than his competitors. He had a fifth store, but it was burned by arsonists. I picked the stores up for almost half price and sent Mickey and Ashley in to refurbish, hire or rehire good people, and get them operational in four months. I had no doubt they would work their butts off to make them a success, and when they were I was going to give them to them as a late wedding present. I had the company name changed to Family Foods, and had a logo created that featured Ashley and Mickey, surrounded by smaller faces of other family members.

We did the paperwork in almost silence, just a matter of sign here, sign here, sign here, and I gave her a check for 25% with a guarantee she would have the rest in no later than 21 days.

“I’m gald you got it,” she said as she gathered everything into folders. “To be honest, you look like you could use a few days of downtime.”

“I haven’t quite gotten over Sandy. It will be a long time, probably never, before I get over her. Maybe this new place, apart from any memories of her, will help.”

She patted my hand, tears in her eyes. “I meant it when I said I was sorry. No one should lose someone they love in such a horrible fashion. Your family tells me she was quite a woman. She would have had to be, to keep up with you.”

“Kara, I’m the same person I was all those years ago.”

She grabbed my hand and looked intently into my eyes. “No, you’re not! You’re a better man now than you ever were before. You could have seized your opportunities and ran with them, keeping everything for yourself. But you shared, giving people most of society would have written off a chance and they worked hard to prove themselves. Grandma Greely once told me they all worked so hard because they didn’t want to disappoint you. Even now, you’re still giving, in mentorship programs, sports teams, educational opportunities, anything anyone can think of to better the communities you do business in is open to consideration.

“Don’t give up hope, Stevie. You deserve to find love again; you’re too good a man to waste. There, I got it off my chest.”

I tried to remember the last time someone called me ‘Stevie’. It was her, twenty years ago. It made me smile.

“I hope you’re right, Kara. Well, thanks for everything. Maybe the place will cheer me up. And the offer stands, anytime you and your husband want to use it, give me a call.”

She stood with me, a look of great sadness on her face. “Steve, can I ask you to do something for me? It won’t take long. A five minute drive, maybe a half an hour of conversation, that’s all I ask. It’s important to me. It’s important because I want you to see the woman I am now.”

There was a look of desperation on her face so I agreed. A small smile touched her lips. “Thank you. You can follow me in your car and leave straight from where we’re going.”

We ended up in an upscale neighborhood. The houses were nice, not quite the McMansions of many, but very solidly upper middle-class. She got out at a rock and cedar ranch that was carefully landscaped.

“My home. Come along, I need to introduce you to someone.”

We walked through the door and down a short hall. She knocked, waited a second, then entered, asking me to wait. Tears were flowing when she came out, and she mutely indicated I should enter.

It was not what I was expecting. There was a hospital bed, and an emaciated man lay in it, an oxygen tank close by. The bed was raised to a sitting position and he pulled the mask off as he motioned me over.

I took his outstretched hand, afraid to put too much pressure on it. “Hi. I’m Bob, Kara’s husband. I’ve been waiting a long time to meet you.”

The situation was surreal. I was in my ex-wife’s house, talking to her obviously dying husband. We talked for almost two hours.

He told me of his romance with Kara, how after they got closer the brutally honest way in which she had portrayed herself as she spoke of her other marriages. “It took me a long time to come to terms with what she had told me. I was very worried I was setting myself up for heartbreak. I had a good business my father had started and I’d advanced, but she insisted on a prenuptial agreement stating that she was not to receive any profits or be entitled to any part of my business or money I had accrued.

“We got closer and I looked into my heart one day and decided she was the one I wanted and I was willing to take a chance on her. In eight years, she’s never let me down. Not once. The only regret I have over marrying her is that I won’t be around to love her as long as I wanted.”

He stopped to put the mask back on for a few moments before continuing. “I asked her one day after we had been married for a year what attracted her to me. She looked sad for a moment, then told me that it was because I reminded her of you.

She had told him, ‘He was a good man, married to the wrong woman. I was too young and easily swayed to realize what I had. Over the years as I made one wrong choice after another when it came to husbands, I promised God if I ever found another like him I’d love him heart and soul until death separated us. God must have felt pity on me, because he gave me you. I thank Him every day for the gift.’ I can still hear her words.”

He sighed. “I bet she didn’t know the gift had an early expiration date. My three packs a day habit finally did me in. My lungs are gone, my heart is weak, and I’m slowly going blind. That really isn’t a problem. I’ll be gone before that happens. I’ve got, at best, a few months, at worst, a few days.”

“I bet you wonder why you’re here. I made her promise if you ever got on speaking terms again to bring you around. I wanted to see firsthand what her first love was like. So far you’ve lived up to the billing. You don’t know me but I want to ask a favor. When I go, be there for her. I have no family except for a few distant cousins, and her parents are long gone. She’ll be alone when I go and she’ll need help until she finds her feet again.”

He showed me pictures from when they first got together. He was a fine looking man, full of life with a constant smile. It was hard to compare the picture to the wasted frame before me. Kara seemed genuinely happy. He talked about regretting them never having children, saying a child would have given her something to focus on. He rambled and I think he was just glad to have someone to talk to. He looked at the clock and realized the time, apologizing for taking so much of mine.

He had to keep the mask on for a while and we sat in silence. When he regained his breath, he thanked me for coming by. He held his hand out and I shook it again. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Steve Moore. Think about my requests. I have no right to ask, but it would give a dying man comfort to think he’s made the one he left behind feel a little less pain.”

“It was my pleasure, Bob Blankenship. You seem to be a good man and I’m glad she got to experience happiness with you. I’ll see what I can do when the time comes.”

He had a smile on his lips when I left.

...

A month later I got a call in the middle of the night. The first thing I thought was it was probably Kara, telling me Bob was gone. I hadn’t visited again, but we did talk on the phone a few times.

It was about a death, but it wasn’t Bob. Grandma Greely had finally succumbed to illness and a worn-out body. She went quietly in her sleep, smiling.

I went home immediately, calling Mickey and Ashley on the way. When I got there, it was hard to find a place to park. I ended up parking at a church a block away. Alice and Amy met me at the door, melting into my arms and crying like the little girls she had raised. Miguel, his wife, and Michael’s wife had him wrapped up and I saw his shoulder vibrating. Grandma Vasquez was there, sitting quietly in Celia’s bedroom beside the body of her best friend for forty years, tears leaking down.

I walked in and sat beside her, taking her hand. I looked at Celia, amazed at how peaceful she looked.

“The authorities have been notified and the funeral home is on the way. She’s already prepaid everything and has named you executor of her will. Celia was always proud to be able to take care of herself and never wanted to be a bother to anyone.”

Tina broke down then, huge sobs that subsided to soft sniffles as the minutes passed. She pushed away from my chest with a determined face. “I will be strong, because that was what she would want. But at night or when I’m alone, the tears will come again as I think of the woman I loved like a sister for forty years. She’ll understand. Now, let’s go hold the family. I’m sure they will need us.”

They did. Everyone broke down again when she was rolled out of the house and into the hearse. The cops, one with tears in her eyes, made the report. They hugged almost everyone there when they left.

We had a private service at the Baptist Church where she had been a member for forty years. The public funeral was at the municipal auditorium and even with the extra room there wasn’t an empty seat and the aisles were packed. The procession to the graveside service was almost two miles long. Jose, Dan, Michael, Miguel, Mickey and I were her pallbearers

I was surprised that while the memorial was going on someone slid into a suddenly vacant spot beside me and gripped my hand. I didn’t even look up for a few seconds and when I did I was shocked. Kara was sitting beside me, weeping softly into my shoulder. There was a vacant seat beside me at the gravesite and she sat with me, gripping my hand. It was a sunny, bright early June day and I had my sunglasses on. Didn’t stop the tears from leaking out from behind them. She sobbed softly as the eulogy was presented and the casket lowered.

Celia’s favorite flowers were white roses, so the family stepped up one by one and dropped a single white rose into the grave until it was all that could be seen. Ashley, Amy and Alice were arm in arm, probably the only thing that kept them standing. Mickey, Miguel and Michael stood behind them, shoulder to shoulder, trying to maintain their calm. It wasn’t working. The choir from her church had come along to sing her one last song. The words of “I’ll Fly Away” echoed through the trees as we turned and stumbled back to our vehicles.