Chapter 26

Penelope leaves the castle about midday, merged back with Hazel the moment they stepped out of the room. Both had hoped that maybe it wouldn’t happen and that they could just go back home and get on with their lives, but it didn’t.

“I can’t believe he wouldn’t tell me any more about my mother,” the witch complains, walking in the direction toward Arseus’ stronghold.

It’s not surprising.

“Why do you say that?”

Because it is probably too much for you right now.

“Well, he may not have spilled the bean, but I bet you can.”

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

“Oh, come on now,” the girl protests. “You know exactly what I mean.”

No I don’t.

“I’m not stupid.”

That’s debatable.

“You’re the one playing stupid this whole time.”

Being stupid and playing are two different things. Besides, how could I have said anything if I couldn’t talk?

“I guess you have a point,” Penelope acknowledges. “But what’s your excuse now? What was your excuse when you were able to talk to me?”

I’m not allowed to.

“Not allowed to?” she asks, a look of puzzlement crossing her face. “Why the hell not?”

Because you’re not ready for it.

“And a cat gets to decide that?”

No, the elders get to.

“Just what the hell are you anyway, or are you not allowed to tell me that either?”

I’m a cat, duh...

“That’s not what I meant...”

Then maybe you should be more specific. Besides, how much more simple can I get?

“I’ve never seen a cat walk on two legs.”

There are catgirls, you know...

“Oh right,” the witch says thoughtfully. “Then I guess that is what you are, only you’re a...”

I’m a what?

“You’re a midget,” she says, trying to hold back a giggle.

I am not a midget. I’m a cat. I was born a cat alongside seven brothers and sisters. My mother was a cat too.

“Well, I’ve never seen a pint sized catgirl, and if you’re not a midget then what are you?”

A cat! Do you have a listening problem?

“No.”

Good.

“How did you get this way then?”

Really? More questions?

“I’m curious.”

Yeah, and curiosity...

“I know, killed the cat,” she says with a sigh. “Ever wonder where that came from?”

I try not to think about it.

“You’re not even the least bit curious?”

No.

“Why not?”

Why do I have to be?

“Because you’re a cat.”

That doesn’t mean I have to be curious.

“Is that why you’ve stayed alive?”

What?

“Not being curious,” the witch repeats. “Is that how you’ve managed to stay alive?”

I think that when you were created something went wrong.

“My father said I was perfect.”

Yeah, he was banging you at the time.

“So.”

So, men will say anything to get between your legs.

“Not my father,” she argues.

Especially your father.

“You’re just jealous he didn’t want to fuck you.”

To each their own.

“Why are you a lesbian?”

I told you I wasn’t.

“You sure don’t act like it.”

Will you shut up already?

“I can’t,” the witch says cheerfully. “I’m too excited.”

I’m sure you are.

“My father has such a wonderful dick,” she continues.

Maybe.

“Maybe? Did you see that thing?”

Yes, I was there.

“You know, for being a lesbian, you sure did have fun watching us.”

I was watching you.

“Sure you were,” the witch accuses.

I was.

“Was it me getting fucked or him doing the fucking?”

How about you concentrate on where we’re going before you get us lost again.

Penelope huffs and carries on through the forest, but she doesn’t slow in her jibber-jabbering. Eventually the sun begins to set, casting the forest into more darkness. It begins to get so dark that the pair are about to decide it best to set up camp for the night when they hear voices. Curious, more so for Penelope than Hazel, they follow the voices until they come upon a bright spot in the forest. A little more ways toward it and it reveals a small camp with two people in it. One of those men the witch recognizes quickly as Nedkid Woodflayer, the vampire hunter.

“Hey Ned!” the girl says trouncing into the camp.

You’re not very subtle are you?

“Oh, um ... Penn ... Penny ... Penscott...” the man mumbles.

“Penelope,” the witch corrects.

“Yes, Penelope,” he agrees.

“Why is he holding you by the neck?” she asks, referring to the other man she doesn’t recognize, hovering over Ned.

“This here is Ichabod,” Ned says gruffly. “He’s a vampire.”

“Oohh, so they do exist.”

Obviously, you dummy. Now let’s scram before he gets any ideas of draining us dry.

“Yes, they,” the man agrees.

“Why aren’t you really hard like before?”

Do you not understand danger? Stop worrying about his dick size and scram.

“Well, you remember when I said all that about dicks and pussies?”

“Kind of.”

Oh boy, here we go again...

“Well, it turns out that any kind of sex affects it, but just not as bad.”

“Will you recover?”

No, he’s going to get eaten.

“Eaten?”

“Yes, he’s going to eat me,” Ned says.

Ichabod sighs heavily and turns his head finally to acknowledge the witch. “Are you two done yet? I’m hungry and I cannot eat when my prey is engaged in conversation.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” the witch says with a smile. “I will let you be then.”

Finally.

“Don’t go too far,” Ichabod bids.

“No! Don’t go!” the man shouts.

“Why?” she asks.

This is not our problem. You’re making it our problem.

“Because I want to eat you,” the vampire says.

“Because he’s going to eat me,” Ned says.

“Oh...”

Two feet, get moving. Come on, put one foot in front of the other...

“Shouldn’t you sparkle or something?” the girl asks.

“Sparkle?” Ichabod asks.

“Yeah, sparkle,” Penelope repeats. “You know glow in the sunlight.”

“It’s night time for shit’s sake,” Ned cries.

“Or the firelight or something,” she adds with a shrug.

What magic mushrooms have you gotten a hold of?

Ichabod suddenly lets go of Ned and turns fully toward the witch. “You certainly are annoying aren’t you?” he asks. He lifts slightly off the ground and glides over to Penelope, encircling her. “I sense something odd about you though.”

I wonder if that spell thing protects us against this guy too.

Penelope is about to give answer to that when Ichabod puts his hands on her breasts and gently pulls her back against him.

This is it, we’re going to die! I’m way too young to die.

Penelope holds her breath, afraid to say or do anything, unsure of what he means to do. His hands don’t move, but the witch starts to get excited. It’s quiet. Even Hazel hasn’t said a word. Ned is long gone. The only noise is the crackling of the fire. Even the forest animals are silent. Penelope’s excitement bubbles within her. If the vampire means to eat her, there is no sense in handling her the way he is.

Ichabod’s hand leaves the witch’s breast and presses against her cheek, gently turning her face back at him for a kiss. Penelope feels a surge of excitement before their lips even meet. She opens her mouth to him, eager for his tongue.

What the hell is this? What the hell are you doing?

The coolness of his body is wonderful and the girl feels herself opening herself for him as if her body is already far ahead of her. His hand slips beneath the top of her dress and finds her furry warmth and softness. The witch sighs. She can’t explain what is going on, and she certain isn’t going to fight it.

You’ve got to fight this or we’re going to end up his dinner.

After the time reuniting with her father, her hunger surfaces to a shocking degree. It is as if something has been awakened within her. She leans back against the vampire and cover his hand on her breast with her own. Her sensual excitement seems to expand to fill the emptiness of the forest like the glow of the campfire seeks to fill the darkness.