Chapter 8

“Are you okay? I heard a shot.”

“I’m fine. I winged one thinking he was going for a gun. He was going to show me his credentials. They’re worthless on private property.”

“As long as you’re okay. There are people to care about. Free-lance photographers and paparazzi aren’t on that list.”

I said, “I’m hungry. Would you like some lunch?”

“Please. Breakfast was a while ago and hospital food isn’t that good. You’re a great cook.” She smiled.

“I’m going to cheat. I have a store-bought, pre-mixed salad. It’s good and it’s easy.”

She smiled. I pulled the salad out of the fridge and got a big bowl for mixing and a regular sized bowl for each of us. I mixed the salad and then served it into the bowls for us to eat. I bowed and prayed silently. I ate though was behind her. Once finished, I cleaned up. Alice even helped! Once done, we went into the living room to sit.

We had just gotten comfortable when my sensor alarm chimed. I sighed. I took my rifle as I went to check the cameras. There was only one this time. I marked where he was in my mind. I went out and scoped him. I keyed my remote microphone and said, “Trespasser, I see you and have you targeted. Are you prepared to die?” Looking through the scope, I saw him turn over to look. I shouted into the mic, “Gun!” I shot his camera away damaging his hand. “This property is marked and I won’t tolerate trespassers. Leave now and leave your weapon. Failing to do that will result in your body rotting where you are right now.”

The guy slowly and painfully stood and stumbled away. I took the golf cart to the gate and found four vehicles there with paparazzi. I got out with my rifle and said, “Are all of you able to read?”

None of them said anything. “Each one who is illiterate, raise his or her hand.” No one raised a hand. I continued, “Do you remember passing the no trespassing signs.” There were a couple of slow nods. “Do you see the sign on the gate?” Some more slow nods.

I lifted my rifle to my shoulder. “Does anyone have a reason why I shouldn’t shoot every one of you?” There were shocked looks. “This is your only chance to leave my property and never return. I take my privacy seriously. The state of Alabama agrees. I shoot trespassers. I think I will start with you.” I squeezed the trigger grazing one. That started the mass exodus to their cars. They beat a retreat back to the road where there were more cars and similar people including a TV truck. I opened the gate closing it behind me. I followed them to the road stopping at the right-of-way.

A TV person walked up toward me. As they did, I raised my rifle to my shoulder. The woman stopped. “Sam, is the princess there?”

“I don’t know you and definitely have never given you the right to use my first name. Your name will be ‘bitch.’ Your barking annoys me.” Shaken, she took a step back. I don’t think she had ever looked down the barrel of a rifle.

A man said, “Mister Morris, there are reports that Princess Alice is at your house. Would you comment upon that?”

“No.”

I was holding my rifle at ready generally targeted on the man’s groin. I said, “At this distance and with my rifle in its current position, I will shoot your balls off. I find your question insulting and an invasion of my privacy. I think you should leave before I change your voice range violently.”

He said nothing but paled.

I slowly backed up to my cart, got in, and left. I went through the gate locking it behind me. On the way back to my house, I stopped and picked up the mangled camera. I dropped it in my trash pile and went inside.

Alice was there. She said, “You have a lot of cameras. I followed you with them. Do you think you’ve stopped them?”

“I doubt it. I have slowed them down.”

She chuckled. “I would hope so. You don’t bluff.”

“Nope.” I went into the den. “Let’s watch a little TV. I think the real news folks will give up. The paparazzi will stay out longer. It’s Wednesday. There’s no reason to go out until Sunday morning unless you want to go out.”

She looked at me. “I didn’t come here to go out. I like this place.”

I smiled. We watched TV for a while just letting it do its thing. Alice said, “I want a beer. Sam, would you like one?”

“Yes, they’re in the fridge.” She rose gracefully leaving and returned with two bottles. She handed me one.

I said, “Thank you, Alice.”