Chapter 4

“You knew my father?”

“And your mom,” he said. “Box of rocks ... but damned sexy.”

I was all set to lambast him a good one when his phone rang ... the red one.

“Hold that thought. I have to answer this.” He picked up. Whoever was on the other end made the ex-SAS man smile. He pushed a button.

“You got other I.D.?”

I was flying out of country ... of course I had other I.D...

“What do you want?” I said. “US passport, New Zealand passport, US Birth certificate, New Zealand Naturalization, Boat captain’s license, letter from President Clinton and a wallet full of family.”

“What does the M really stand for?”

“Me,” I said, “Surprise Me Flintkote.”

He pushed the button on his phone, “Arrest them. Surprise Me Flintkote is standing in front of me ... Yes, I’m sure. Ask the woman what the M stands for. I’ll wait.” He switched to speaker.

“She says Melody.”

“The guy with her says he is John William Flintkote,” said the phone.

“Walter,” I said. “Not William. I have one question.”

“Go ahead.”

“Is he pretty?”

“Pretty?”

“We’re triplets.”

“I see,” said the phone, “No ... he and the girl don’t look anything alike.”

“What are they trying to buy?” I asked.

“A speedboat ... powered by a pair of Lamborghini V10’s.”

“Absolutely not. If it was my sister and JW they might buy a sailboat. Never a powerboat. Besides, Cynthia would never use my name. She wants to be notorious in her own right.”

“Yup,” said the SAS, “Arrest them. We’ll extradite them to Australia.”

Half an hour later the Red phone rang again.

Mr. SAS answered it. “Oh really?”

“That’s amazing. I’ll let her know.”

We had been discussing mom’s intelligence and I was getting pissed.

“Guess what?”

“How many chances?”

“Three.”

“An airport employee spotted the pair stashing a large duffle in a locker. your man found the key ... no ... wait. A woman cop searched the woman and found the key in her bra. The duffle held thousands of Kuwati Bank Transfer Certificates. and a notebook with the names of everyone they had swindled,” I said.

“Got it in one ... how did you do that?”

“Friends with the Powers that Be ... they told me.

“The look on your face ... it’s what I would do ... but I wouldn’t get caught.”

I looked so innocent ... he was half believing me when I broke down laughing.

“Got me.”

“When we were 6 the state tested us ... mom too. All of us have an IQ over 200 ... each. Mom might have been “Thick as a Brick” when you met her. She was a genius before she died.”

<If she’s dead.>

“If she’s dead.” I said, “We have the American government’s word on that. If you want to know what that’s worth, ask any Indian.”