Chapter 22: Digging Two Graves

October 11th, 1995, 5:40 AM MST, Holiday Inn & Suites, Phoenix, AZ

Miguel was having a devil of a time sleeping. All he could think about was Sharon, and whether she would remember him. Well, that, and whether she would remember that she had run away from David. He was terrified she wouldn’t even remember that, and would end up being sucked back into his web of lies and abuse. He tossed, turned, tried to sleep. He got up from the bed, and decided to go to the hospital.

But then he felt really guilty; he had been entrusted with caring for the kids in Sharon’s absence. He knew Jimmy could do it, and ultimately, his desire to be by her side was more important. Of course there was a solution that would solve both problems; he could just take the kids with him to the hospital. She was supposed to be waking up today, or at least taken out of the coma. He was hopeful having them with him would help her remember him.

He started by waking up the kids, and telling them they were going to see their mother. They were all a bit excited; they hadn’t seen her for almost a day and a half. He reminded them that she was hopefully going to be waking up today, and suggested to them that they bring games and cards and so on to keep them entertained, as hospitals can be quite boring.

Within about 20 minutes, the kids were dressed, and Miguel herded them into the elevator, and down to the lobby. Once they got into the lobby, Miguel approached the front desk. The front desk clerk appraised him with a look of distaste and extraordinary disinterest.

“Hola,” Miguel said, “I’m Miguel from room 304. Could you call me a cab?”

“Certainly sir,” the desk clerk replied, “You’re a cab.”

Miguel felt for a moment that he was in a place lacking in the bounds of reality. He decided to respond by laughing.

“Very funny,” he laughed, “I needed that, life has been a bit down recently. But anyway, I need a cab for six people going to St. Joseph’s hospital.”

“There is a taxi rank by the airport terminal, muchacho.”

“Ok,” Miguel said cheerfully, and ignoring the bad use of Spanish, “How far a walk is that?”

“Its a few miles down the road, perhaps 30 minutes, you could easily walk it, cab-roon.” the desk clerk replied.

Miguel was getting upset, as the desk clerk was now actively insulting him.

“I have another adult and four kids with me, I really need a taxi to pick us up here,” Miguel replied, trying to hide his increasing frustration.

“If you really need a taxi to pick you up here,” the desk clerk replied, “You should use the payphone, Pablo.”

“Is there some reason you can’t call me a cab?” Miguel asked.

“Yes,” the clerk replied, “I don’t like you stupid spics taking over my country.”

“That’s fair,” Miguel replied, “I don’t like morons taking over mine, ‘cabrón.’”

Miguel, realizing he was losing control of his temper, went over to the payphone and asked the cab company to send over transportation for six passengers, and told them where he was going. He didn’t quite understand why the desk clerk was such a pissant.

The cab company sent over a ten year old Dodge Caravan that was in need of a lot of work. But for the ten minute trip in the cool morning, it was adequate. When they got to the hospital, Miguel paid the driver, and herded the kids to the elevator. He was still a bit upset about the incident with the desk clerk. He walked over to the room, and entered it and stopped in his tracks.

On Akilah’s bed were Josh and Akilah, sleeping in a tangle of limbs. It had shocked him that they managed to squeeze together on the small bed. Jimmy and Jessica were right behind him, took a look at it, and broke out laughing.

They successfully woke up everyone in the room but Sharon.

October 11th, 1995, 8:40 AM MST, St. Joseph’s Hospital, Phoenix, AZ

Akilah and Josh were playing a game of UNO with Jimmy, Jessica, and Miguel when the phone in the room rang. It had never rang before, and so the initial reaction to it was everyone jumped three inches in the air, and caught their breath. The second ring broke everyone out of their level of shock. On the third ring, Josh realized he was the one closest one to the phone and so he reached over and picked it up.

“Good mawhnin’,” Josh said, “May I axe who is doin’ de callin’?”

“Akilah Ganem, please,” the voice was thick and foreign, with an accent not all that far off Akilah’s.

“May I ask who is callin’?”

“Akilah Ganem, please.”

Josh realized that the speaker probably didn’t speak much English, and was using a memorized phrase.

“Acky,” Josh said, “It’s fawh yuh, I tink.”

Akilah took the phone, and said, “Hi, who is this?”

Her eyes showed recognition, and she said, “‘Ahlaan waldiy,” and then listened, and responded in Arabic.

“Hello, my beloved daughter,” her father, Rezza, said to her.

“Hello father,” she replied.

“I have heard that you were on that terrible train wreck in Arizona,” her father said, “And I then learned you were in the hospital. Did you not think to call me and tell me?”

“I was alright,” Akilah replied, “I did not want to worry you with me being in the hospital. I am going to be released today most likely, I decided I would call you when I got to Los Angeles, and then I would tell you that I was hurt a little, but was alright.”

“We were expecting your call when you got to Los Angeles some days ago,” Rezza replied, “We were very worried about you, Akilah, you should have called us. Do you have no love for us?”

“I did not think you would worry, father,” Akilah replied, “I was in hotels, and the phone calls would have been very expensive.”

“This whole American thing is very expensive,” Rezza replied, “And it is also very dangerous, apparently. They seem to have terrorists over there, too. I want you to come home, as soon as you get out of the hospital.”

“I am not going to do that, Father,” Akilah replied, “This was a freak incident, and I should be getting to Los Angeles soon. I even have found a place to stay, Father.”

“I would rather you come home,” Rezza insisted, “I do not want to spend money for you to stay some place in that horrible country.”

“You will not have to spend anything,” Akilah replied, “The place I am staying is free. I am going to be the guest of a girl I met on the train who lives near the school.”

“What girl you met on the train?” Rezza replied, “This is craziness.”

“Her name is Jill,” she replied, “She lives near the school. She is a very nice person.”

“Perhaps, if she is letting you stay with her for free,” Rezza said, “But she might also be trying to get something out of you. I do not trust her.”

“Of course not,” she replied, “You do not know her. But I do, I trust her.”

“No, you are going to come home,” he ordered her.

“Father, I am thousands of miles away from you,” she hissed at him, “I have come so far to fulfill my dream, and I am not going to turn around and come home now. I am going to go to Los Angeles, I am going to go to CalTech, I am going to stay with my friend Jill, and I am going to finish my education. I have a full scholarship, I have a place to live, and there is little you can really do about it. I will call you when I get to Los Angeles. I love you, Father, please tell mother the same.”

“If you loved us, you would come home,” and he was cut off by Akilah replacing the receiver on the cradle.

“What was dat all about, Acky?” Josh asked, “Happy yuh did not sound.”

“I was not happy,” Akilah replied, “It was my father. He wants me to come home after this train incident.”

Josh’s stomach sunk down to the first floor of the hospital.

“I don’t want to lose you, Acky,” Josh moaned, “Without you, I am nothing. I love you, darlin’ can’t you tell?”

Bells start tuh rin’ when I’m near yuh,

My heart takes win’ s when I’m near yuh,

Birds start tuh sin’ when I’m near yuh,

Do I love yuh? Darlin’ can’t yuh tell?

...

I see your face everywhere,

In all my dreams yuh are dere,

Yuh are my dream and my prayuh,

Do I love yuh? Darlin’ can’t yuh tell?

...

I told yuh once, I told yuh twice,

I really love yuh, and that’s no lie,

And when we kiss, it feels so nice,

Tings start happenin’ like de fawhth of July!

...

My eyes get blurry and hazy,

Yuh make me feel less a-crazy,

I feel so strange and so lazy,

Do I love yuh? Darlin’ can’t yuh tell,

...

Do I love yuh? Darlin’ can’t yuh tell?

Do I love yuh? Darlin’ can’t yuh tell?

Do I love yuh? Darlin’ can’t yuh tell?

...

I told yuh once, I told yuh twice,

I really love yuh and thats no lie,

And when we kiss, it feels so nice,

Tings start happenin’ like de fawhth of July!

...

My eyes get blurry and hazy,

Yuh make me feel less a-crazy,

I feel so strange and so lazy,

Do I love yuh? Darlin’ can’t yuh tell?

...

Do I love yuh? Acky, can’t yuh tell?

“I can tell, Josh,” Akilah said, “You will not when you know the truth, but believe me, I can tell. That is why I told him I am not going to come home. I also told him I am going to stay with friends, and that I do not need his money or his help. I am not going to go anywhere unless you send me away, Josh, do not worry.”

“What truth, Acky?” Josh said, “What mushugana shmontses do yuh tink is gonna make me not love yuh, Acky-luh? My mudder yuh’d have tuh kill or somethin’.”

The others left the room, realizing that Akilah was going to tell him something that was probably very private.

“Josh,” Akilah said, “My brother was a terrorist, he suicide bombed in Haifa, and killed 12 innocent people doing it. Your people. My parents supported what he did, considered him a martyr. That is how I was brought up. Do you not understand? I worshiped him once. I changed; that is one of the reasons I came to America, but I used to be one of them.”

“My god, Akilah,” Josh said, “I can’t believe yuh didn’t tell me dis befawh. Wit’ whatcha told me I could live, butcha couldn’t tell me dis befawh? I need tuh tink, Akilah, I need tuh tink.”

He ran from the room.

October 11th, 1995, 8:40 AM MST, Holiday Inn & Suites, Phoenix, AZ

George and Jill woke up together for once. They had showered the night before and didn’t feel the need to shower again that morning, so they just threw on new clothes. They were both a bit short on clothes, so Jill put on a light salmon spaghetti top and a pair of Daisy Duke shorts in weathered denim. George, on the other hand, only had a pair of tweed slacks and a long-sleeve Brooks Brother’s button down in blue. They definitely needed to find a laundry. George neglected to wear the tie and jacket that went with the pants.

They didn’t feel insanely hungry that morning, and decided to eat breakfast at the hospital cafeteria. They both got in the elevator together, and rode it down to the lobby.

As they stepped out, Jill said to George, “Watch and learn.”

She walked up to the desk clerk, who seemed to have been on duty for the past 72 hours straight, and rested her hand on his in a seemingly friendly manner.

“Call me a cab,” she said, “And if you play even one game about it, I’m gonna break your pointer finger clean off your hand.”

The desk clerk gulped, picked up the phone, and called a taxicab for them.

Once they got into the cab, both Jill and George started laughing completely uncontrollably.

“I think he shat himself,” George said.

“I think he did too,” Jill laughed, “He couldn’t decide whether he wanted to run clear from the room, or sleep with me.”

“In that outfit, who can blame him?” George asked, somehow adding huskiness to his continuing laughter.

“I’s couldn’t blame him either, pally,” the taxicab driver said, “But if you would tell me wheres you wants to go, we can get moving faster.”

“St. Joseph’s Hospital, please,” Jill said, “Did you know I’m fourteen?”

“I’s do now,” the cabby said nervously, “Don’t worrys about it, with this lug, I’s was only kidding anyways.”

“No doubt,” George said, laughing some more.

They were at the hospital quickly, and George tipped the cabby an extra fiver to quell his nerves from their joking around at his expense. They then walked up to the room, but found Josh slumping in the hallway.

October 11th, 1995, 9:15 AM MST, St. Joseph’s Hospital, Phoenix, AZ

Akilha’s family are terrorists, Josh thought, the words echoing through his head like a gunshot in a cavern, What would my mother say? Her brother killed 12 innocent people! She admitted to me that she was indoctrinated into that world, too. And she didn’t tell me about this earlier! How could she not tell me about this, before we made love, even?

His thoughts bounced around in his head, firing off in all kinds of weird directions that didn’t make much sense. One part of him condemned her for what her family were; another part told him thinking like that was absurd. She was not like that, if she ever was, there wasn’t a hint of that left in her.

Come on, Joshua, he yelled at himself, You yourself were indoctrinated in stupid and unreasonable hate for her side of the conflict. Confronted with the reality of what a sweet and lovely girl she is, you were just yelling at yourself for thinking that way. Why do you even need to think about this, you stupid dolt? Akilah is the best thing that ever happened to you, you love her with all your heart, and you are concerned about the thoughts that used to be in her head as a child? Go back inside and apologize to her for even walking out!

He couldn’t believe what an ass he made of himself with her. He knew that when he introduced her to his parents, and they flipped their lids clean off their heads, she would confront it with far more sangfroid and decorum than he was evidencing right now. He wanted to go back in that room and get down on his knees, take her hands in his, and beg her for forgiveness for even needing to think about it. As long as they were together, everything would be just fine.

But it was like he was cemented to the floor. He couldn’t command his body to move for love or money. He couldn’t get himself to stand up; he was terrified. He was having trouble living with his actions, and he wasn’t sure she would forgive him for it.

“What’s wrong, Josh?” Jill said, “It looks like someone stole your favorite puppy.”

“Stole my favawhite puppy?” Josh mumbled, “From myself I stole it.”

“Did you screw the pooch again?” Jill asked him.

“Yes,” he said cryin’, “de pooch I screwed again. Okay?”

“I bet it isn’t as bad as you think,” Jill said, “What happened this time?”

“Acky’s fadder called,” Josh said, “She got upset and told me huh brudder had been a terrawhist, a suicide bombuh, and she thought I would not love huh aftuh dat. Huh fadder wanted huh tuh come home, I tink, she didn’t wanna. I told huh out here I needed tuh tink. Such a schmuck I am.”

“You got that right,” Jill said, “Do you forgive her? Do you still love her?”

“Don’t be stoopid, Jill,” Josh said, “What she used tuh be, I don’t care. What she is now, I love. She came here tuh escape all dat meshugaus, mawh pruv I don’t need.”

Jill reached down and grabbed his hands. She was a small girl, but very strong, and she just effortlessly lifted him back onto his feet, held him by one wrist and dragged him back into the room.

When he got back besides Akilah’s bed he dropped down to his knees, grabbed her hands, and worked his mouth, but no sound came out. He didn’t know how to say how sorry he was. But the look in his eyes were enough for Akilah to read him.