Chapter 1

“You’re going to have a birthday party without me?” Sandy Jackson asked her sister.

“You wouldn’t like it anyhow,” Barbara said. “It’s going to be couples only.”

“Mommy!”

When the entire situation was explained by each of them, Barb didn’t mention couples. “I’m only inviting kids from my class,” she said.

“Well,” Mom said, “if you can’t have a party where your sister would be welcome, maybe you shouldn’t have a party at all.”

Barb pouted and argued, but Sandy was invited to the party. Linda, Barb’s new best friend, brought her brother to match Sandy. Craig was in high school already, but eighth and ninth grade seemed alike to the eleventh graders.

Sandy wouldn’t have admitted it for the world, but she was uncomfortable at the party. The kids were mostly the same as Barb had invited the year before, Linda, Larry, and Craig being new. They held the party in their basement as they had the year before, and there was cake, cookies, and Kool Aid. The behavior, however, was much different -- almost no games. Mostly the kids danced; the record player had a stack of 45s on it all night. The dances were almost all slow ones, and the kids never switched partners.

Craig was nice, a lot nicer than Sandy would have expected considering why he was there. Still, they hadn’t met before that night, and all the other couples were either going steady or were as close to that as the parents would allow. She and Craig danced whenever a fast dance came on, but they sat and talked and munched a lot.

“I like the way your sister is wearing her hair now,” she said. Linda and Barbara were about the only subjects that she and Craig had in common.

“You do?” Craig asked. Really, she did. She wished that she could look like Jackie. “Every girl is wearing her hair like Mrs. Kennedy these days, even one of my teachers. Linda looks more like her than she does like Jackie.”

The latest Cameron hit, Honey Bee dropped to the bottom of the stack. Sandy liked that song. “Come on,” Craig said. “There’s nothing to it. Try dancing to this one. I’ll have to go soon; I promised Linda.”

She couldn’t ask him to sit and talk with her forever. She got up and moved out to where there was space. He took her left hand in his right and put his other hand on her waist; she tried to move to his guidance.

“Other bees have buzzed around my hive,
But none till you made me feel alive,”
sang Peggy Cameron.

“Honey, I want you to be, be, be
My honey bee,”
sang her sisters.

Slow dancing wasn’t suddenly easier, but dancing in Craig’s arms was pleasant. When the song ended, Craig asked, “Want to walk me out?”

He went over to say goodbye to Barb. Aside from greeting people and opening presents, she’d spent the evening dancing with Tom. From the top of the stairs, Sandy glanced back. The two were dancing again, and Tom’s hand was on Barb’s seat.

“Good night, Mrs. Jackson,” Craig said in the kitchen. “Nice party. Thanks for having me.” Sandy went out the kitchen door with him.

“This really has been fun,” he said. “Much more fun than I expected.” Those were her thoughts, too. The party would have been awful if he hadn’t been there. She was trying to think of some way to say that when he pulled her close.

His kiss surprised her. It wasn’t her first, but it was the first which hadn’t been part of spin-the-bottle or from a relative. Again, it was more pleasant than she would have expected. “Goodbye, Sandy,” he said. “Thanks for making this a fun evening.”

She stayed outside while she could see him. When she went inside, she headed toward her room. She didn’t want to be alone among the crowd in the basement. She shouldn’t think too much of the kiss, she decided. Craig was in high school, and kids in high school seemed to kiss a lot.

Still, she did think about it -- that night and on later days. She also brooded because she didn’t hear from Craig again. Even Linda didn’t mention him when she came over to see Barbara.

If she did run into Craig again, though, she would have to know how to dance. She nagged Barb into lessons. Nagging wasn’t that hard; Barb enjoyed dancing, and when she was teaching her sister to dance, their parents couldn’t complain about the music. Dancing in her arms wasn’t at all as much fun as dancing in Craig’s had been, but she probably learned more. And Barb knew who she was; there was no evidence that Craig did.

Her mom took her to the department store and bought her some real bras. She wasn’t in a training bra anymore.

The school year ended; she graduated. That fall, she was in high school! It was so much bigger than she was used to, and the other kids were so much bigger, too. She walked down the halls not looking; she wanted to seem as blasé’ and used to the size as the seniors (like Barb) were.

Then she heard a boy call her name. “Sandy?” Was he calling someone else? There were a lot of Sandys in the school. No, he was looking right at her, and it was Craig!

“I’m Craig. Linda’s brother. We met at your sister’s birthday party.”

“Of course.” How could he think she would forget? He had been her first real kiss.

They were going in opposite directions, so they could only talk for one second. He passed her in the hall when she was going from algebra to biology every day after that and had a greeting every time they passed.

After a few weeks, he left the school by the same entrance she used. That was a little odd; she never saw Linda there. But they talked a bit. She told him what her class schedule was. He’d had two of her teachers the year before, and they both had Mrs. Thomas for English.

Then one Friday afternoon, he called. “You know there is a sock hop a week from tonight?” She did; the whole school knew that there were dances every other Friday. “Would you like to go with me?”

She managed to say ‘yes’ without saying ‘whoopee.’

That night at dinner, however, she couldn’t restrain herself. “Do you have an invitation to the dance next Friday?” she asked Barb.

“Tom will ask me in school.” Tom usually asked on a Wednesday, which their mom didn’t think was polite.

“Well, I do. Craig called me up to invite me.”

“And,” asked her mom in her most threatening tone of voice, “did you tell him you had to ask permission?”

“I think you are too young to date,” put in her dad. He thought she was too young to do anything fun.

“Barb gets to go out on dates with Tom.”

“I didn’t before I turned fifteen.” Always the helpful sister!

“Oh, mom!” Dad was a lost cause.

“You’ll have to tell him that you can’t accept dates.”

She didn’t call until Sunday. She wheedled again and again, but it didn’t do any good.

“Will you be at the dance?” Craig asked.

“I think so. I don’t want to ask just now. I’ve been pushing too hard on this one.” At that, she wished she could take her words back. She didn’t want him to know what the invitation had meant to her -- how much he meant to her. On the other hand, she certainly didn’t want to imply that he was unimportant.

“Well, that might be for the best.”

She did go. Barb had been allowed to go to dances when she was a freshman, and her mom was in a better mood when Sandy asked her.

“You made it,” Craig greeted her. He talked to her while “Ghost Car” was playing and asked her for a dance when the next song was fast.

Honey Bee was the next tune. “You can do this one,” Craig said. “Want to try?” She could do them all, now.

They danced together. His lead got less firm throughout the song, but it was still firmer than Barb had been using for months.

“See!” he said. “You’re a good dancer when you decide to let go.”

They danced the next two dances together, and he got her some punch. She decided that telling him about the lessons would be a mistake. Let him think that his lead was enough.

He went away after a while; she wasn’t his date after all. She talked with some of the other girls, danced (without a partner) two of the fast dances. Craig came back for the last dance. It was Blue Velvet, and it had never sounded so pretty as it did when she was in Craig’s arms.

Her dad came to pick them up at the end of the dance. “Tom could have driven me home,” Barb said. “He’s done it loads of times.”

“I had to pick up Sandy, anyway,” he said. “This was no problem.” Barb looked daggers at her.

One day, Craig was talking with a girl when he went past in the hall. He waved but didn’t say anything.

The dances were every other Friday night. At the next one, they got there late; her dad had decided to stop in for gas on the way and then gossiped with the station attendant. Craig was dancing when she saw him, but he came over after that dance. She figured that she was in no position to say anything, since she couldn’t be his date. They danced together for a while, and he got her another glass of punch. Again, he left her to talk with his friends; again, he came back for the last dance.

At the dance after that, she danced the first two dances with Craig. Then he went off to ask one of the other girls. Charlie Delray, who was in her history class, asked her to dance. He held her close, closer than Craig did, but it was less fun. Craig did return for the last dance, though.

This went on until her birthday came around. She couldn’t have an all-girl party, not if she wanted to invite Craig. She invited as many boys as girls, but many of the boys declined. She thought about inviting Charlie; he was in one of her classes and seemed interested in her. But he seemed to be one of the bad boys. She decided not to. Two of the boys who had accepted didn’t show up.

Craig came. Tom came with Barb, though they both left soon. All the rest were ninth graders. The slow dancing wasn’t much of a success, and she put mostly rock records on the stack. She couldn’t spend as much time dancing with Craig as she wanted, anyhow. She was both the birthday girl and the hostess. This time, Craig was the last one to leave. “I had a great time,” he said. She walked him out the door again. He kissed her outside!

This felt wonderful. She melted into his arms. He stepped back, but then he supported her. “I owe you fourteen more,” he said. She was willing, but her mom would come out in a minute.

“So,” he said, “you’re fifteen now. Will your mom and dad let you go on dates?”

“They ought to! Still, I haven’t asked them.”

“Well, you know how to get their agreement. Asking too soon might not be the best way.”

After school on Monday, they talked about the party. He didn’t mention the idea of dating. That night, though, he called her up. “They are showing West Side Story at Taylor’s Cinema on Friday. Would you go with me?” He sounded awfully stiff, as if he had rehearsed it.

“I’ll have to ask my mom.”

“I’ll hold the phone if you want to do it now.”

She asked. “I am fifteen now. You said, ‘not until you’re fifteen.’”

“You’ve been fifteen for six days. This is rushing it.”

“The movie is on Friday. I’ll have been fifteen for ten days then. Come on! You said fifteen. Plenty of girls in my class have been dating for years.”

“Well, I’ll talk with him.”

Having heard that Craig’s mom would be doing the driving, she agreed. Sandy got back on the phone. “She said ‘yes.’ What time do you want to get here?”

Her mom might have been negative about the date, but she was a real help once she had decided to permit it. She gave Sandy some of her bath salts, so she would smell pretty on her first date. Even Barb helped her dress. The dress had thin blue stripes. Sandy thought it made her look too young, but she wasn’t about to tell her mom that.

At six o’clock, Craig rang the doorbell. Her dad and mom were there to talk to him. Her dad laid out the ground rules, not that there was any need for ground rules. They were going to get back soon after the end of the show, anyway. Craig’s mom wasn’t about to drive them to some make-out spot.

His mom had waited in the car. Craig opened the back door for her and walked around to get in beside her on the other side.

“Mom,” Craig said, “this is Sandra Jackson. Sandy, my mom.” He was obviously on his best behavior.

“Hello, Mrs. Schmidt,” Sandy said.

“Hello Sandra,” said Mrs. Schmidt. “You look delightful in that dress.” The car was an ordinary Chrysler sedan. The back seat could have held four in a tight squeeze. She and Craig sat on opposite sides with a mile between them.

At the theater, Craig bought a box of popcorn and shared it with her. His mom sat in the row behind them. The movie was good, though; and Natalie Wood was wonderful. When they got to Sandy’s house, Craig said, “Wait here.” He got out and went around to help her out.

When he’d walked her to the door, she stood on the porch and he stood on the top step. “Thank you for coming,” he said.

“Thank you for asking me. I had a wonderful time.”

He kissed her there. It was a little funny with his head lower than hers. He took less time than he had before, but then his mom was watching. Probably so was hers. When the door opened, he turned and walked back to the car.

“Did you enjoy the movie?” her mom asked.

“It was great.” And it had been. Movies definitely looked better with Craig sitting beside her.

Craig invited her to the next school dance, too. His dad drove them there and home, but -- at least -- there wasn’t that constant presence behind them.

He kissed her at the door again. When she saw her dad watching TV when she went in, she thought he would object to that. Maybe he had noticed, but that wasn’t what was on his mind. “Enjoy yourself?” he asked.

She had and said so.

“Same boy who took you out to the movies, wasn’t it?” Considering the third degree he had given Craig before the movie, that was a silly question. “You do dance with other boys when you’re there, don’t you?”

Well, she hadn’t. “He was my date, after all. He took me to the dance.”

“Ruth!” he called. He turned off the set while her mom was coming down.

The two of them were totally unreasonable. “It’s fine you like Craig, darling,” her mom said. They weren’t treating her like a darling; they were treating her like a prisoner on a chain gang. “But you are much too young to settle on one boy. We want you to have fun, participate in the fun of high school.” That her mom thought fun was any part of high school showed how out of it she was -- both of them were.

Barbara was no help either. How long had it been since she had danced with any boy except Tom? But Sandy didn’t ask that. Barb would have killed her if she had mentioned it.

They made Craig come in and talk to them before the next dance. They set down even more rules. She and -- of course -- he would accept dances with other partners. She might be his date, but she wasn’t his steady.

He did ask another girl to dance that night, and Charlie asked her to dance when they had Rock Around the Clock on. It was an old song, probably chosen by a teacher. Charlie did it well, however. And she -- if only in her own opinion -- danced well in front of him.

“Really, you know,” Craig said to her Monday after school, “I’m not saying that I enjoyed seeing you dance with that sleaze. Still, I don’t mind your parents making that rule. It’s different from your deciding it.”

He took her to see The Guns of Navarone. She was more interested in the boy sitting beside her than in all the explosions happening on the screen. “Wasn’t that a great picture?” Craig asked her after school on Monday. She agreed, but her insincerity must have been obvious. “What do you think is the best movie of all time?” he asked.

That question was easy. “ Three Coins in the Fountain.“

They talked after school every day now. Sometimes it was about what they had done; other times it was questions like that.

And sometimes he called her just to talk. His parents bound him to the same rules as Linda, and she sometimes heard his mom call “Time!” Then he apologized and hung up.

The Monday after Christmas, Craig had a package in his hand when he greeted her. “Here.” It was a Christmas present!

“I didn’t get you anything.” And the way her allowance was tied up, she couldn’t get him anything for weeks.

“I didn’t get it for you because I wanted you to give me something. I got it for you because I like you.” That was sweet of him to say. The gift was a small locket. She wore it to school the next day, though nobody could see it under her blouse.

He took her to the first dance of the new year. Again, they danced with others, but he expected the first and last dance -- others, but especially those two. She went looking for him when they started to play Honey Bee. She regarded this as their song.

One day, Craig’s father drove them to the movies. “I’ll be back at 8:30,” he said. “Be right here. Don’t make me look for you.” They went in by themselves. At first, Craig behaved as he always did. After the main feature came on, though, he reached over and took her hand in his. She couldn’t concentrate on the picture, although Craig seemed to. All she could feel was his hand holding hers. That night, his kiss was extra thrilling. It wasn’t anything he did; he seemed more nervous of his dad than he did of his mom. Instead, it was a kiss from a boy who had been holding her hand all night in the dark.

With a sophomore interested in her, Sandy was more popular with her classmates. Maybe there was another reason, but she couldn’t see it.

At the next dance, Charlie asked her again. The song was Can’t Help Falling in Love. He held her tight against him. She noticed that something was prodding into her belly. It wasn’t his belt buckle.

The next week in algebra class, a boy was at the board solving a problem. Everybody started giggling. When Sandy looked, his zipper was sticking out. The kid had a stiffie. When the teacher let him sit down and the incident was over, Sandy knew what part of Charlie had been sticking into her. How gross!!

On their way out of school one Tuesday, Craig handed her an envelope. He hurried off, leaving her feeling a little hurt. When she opened the envelope, though, it was a valentine. Of course, the next day was Valentine’s day. Her friends exclaimed over the card, and she walked to a store on the way -- well, far out of the way -- home to buy him one. The next day, Craig walked her the usual block before their paths parted. She handed him her card just before he turned. He hurried on before opening it. Her friends, all of whom had seen the card, giggled.