Chapter 5

Claire caught the evening flight back to her husband and family with no problems, until, that is, she came though arrivals and looked for whoever was meeting her.

She suspected in her bones that there would be trouble of some sort when she arrived. Peter had not phoned her at all, though the children had, telling her that they could not understand why she was staying away. She told them nothing, saying all would be explained when she returned, if their father had not explained it to them already.

There was no one there to meet her, though she had told Peter on the answer phone and by text as well as her earlier email, which flight she would be on. So in the pouring rain she got a taxi home. It was quite late when she arrived at the house.

As the taxi approached the house, she saw that Thomas’s and Mary’s cars were there, as was Elizabeth’s.

Oh, she thought, a family gathering. So they knew I was coming and yet no one could be bothered to meet me. She was already becoming annoyed at the insult.

After getting wet through, walking from the taxi to the house, she let herself in and closed the door behind her. Immediately Thomas, her eldest, emerged from the Dining Room.

“We’re all in here mother,” he snapped imperiously with a grimace of disgust. “We want answers.”

“Don’t be impertinent Thomas. You’ll get what I give you, if I decide to give you anything. As it is I need to change, since no one was caring enough to meet me at the airport.”

She took her bags upstairs to the bedroom, only to find the door was locked. So she took her bags to the guest bedroom, where she found all her things. She shrugged. Now she was angry.

If that’s how he wants to play it, fine, she thought, shutting and locking the door. She unpacked, took off her wet clothes, and lay down in her underwear.

Five minutes passed. Then she heard the doorknob turned and then there came a banging on the door. She ignored it.

“Open this door!” It was Peter shouting.

“Go away Peter,” she shouted back.

“I demand you come down and face the family you have disgraced.”

“Demand away,” she replied quietly, for by now her anger was ice-cold. “You are a few words and a few minutes away from the end of your marriage, you stupid man. If you don’t change your tune I’ll be calling a cab to take me back to the airport right now. And I won’t be coming back.”

There was a silence. Then steps going down stairs.

Then came a gentle knock on the door.

“Mum?” This time it was Elizabeth.

“Yes, darling.”

“Please come down.”

She put on a dressing gown and opened the door.

“I refuse to come down to a trial by my own children, Lizzy,” she said quietly. “It’s a gross insult. No one met me at the airport. Another gross insult. Your Father has locked me out of our bedroom. A third gross insult. Thomas greets me with distain. A fourth. Your father bangs on the door of the room he has deigned to give me demanding I come down. A fifth.

“So I have been repeatedly insulted since I arrived. Tell the family that unless things change I’m going back to England tonight and I won’t be coming back. No one treats me like this.”

“OK, Mum. Sorry.”

Claire could see Elizabeth was upset, as her daughter turned away and went downstairs. Claire went back into the bedroom, re-locked the door and dressed in a loose top and jeans.

There was a long pause, during which she could hear raised voices from downstairs.

Then a tentative knock and this time it was Philip’s voice. “Mum?”

“Yes, darling.”

“We’ve talked about it and Liz and I said we’d go with you to England if you weren’t treated like you should be treated. So Dad says to apologise to you.”

“Is my bedroom door unlocked?”

“No.”

“I mean my bedroom, not this one.”

“No.”

“Tell your Father that I want an undertaking that all my things are put back in their proper place, in our bedroom, and that these petty games of his will cease immediately. Then and only then will I consider talking to him.”

“OK.”

Another pause. Then another timid knock.

“Dad says OK.”

“I’ll be down in five minutes. I expect a cup of tea ready for me.”

“OK.”

She thought for a moment. She had regained a certain equilibrium at John’s house and in his peaceful company. Now Peter had destroyed it in minutes. It seemed he had learned nothing. Nothing had changed; indeed things were much worse.

She went downstairs and into the dining room. It seemed the family had left that room in favour of the living room. She wondered if that was a gesture of apology.

She opened the intervening door and found them all sitting waiting. Thomas and his wife, Thomas with a sour look which was echoed by Mary who had brought her husband. The other three children were sitting on the floor, giving her a seat between them on an armchair. She sat down. Elizabeth brought her a mug of tea.

“Thank you Lizzie.” Elizabeth smiled at her.

Silence. She sipped at the hot drink.

“Mum,” said Mary, breaking the silence. “How could you?”

“How could I what, Mary?” Claire was now in aggressive mode and she scowled at her daughter.

“Commit adultery!” said Thomas, pompously, almost shouting at her.

“How could I indeed!” said Claire, with a wry smile, and sat back in the chair, taking another drink from the mug.

“You don’t deny it?” he continued ponderously.

She noticed Peter glowering at her from ‘his’ chair on the other side of the room.

“I don’t answer to you Thomas,” she said grimly. “Less of your insolence, boy!”

“But you should answer to me!” Peter had spoken.

At last, she thought. “Any discussion about our marriage should be between us, Peter, not the whole family,” Claire snapped from her relaxed position in the chair. She finished the tea.

“It concerns the whole family if you are unfaithful.” Peter stated.

“Yes, it would concern them if I were, but we talk first. Then together we would tell the family what we had decided. I’ll not have my children sitting in judgement over me, Peter. Come to that, I won’t have you doing it either. You don’t deserve any consideration after the way you’ve treated me this evening.”

“Adulterers don’t deserve any either.” Thomas’s snide comment was almost crowing. “You spend four weeks with a man in his house and expect us to believe you’ve not slept with him?”

“Since you and your father are so religious, so holy, but are pre-judging me, I’ll quote from Matthew, ‘Judge not, or you will be judged, for the amount you mete out in judgement will be the amount you receive.’ You’re in for a hell of a time when you stand before God’s judgement seat, the pair of you.

“And personally I don’t care two hoots whether you believe it, Thomas, or you don’t. It seems you were well named! You doubt my virtue without any evidence at all. Someone as narrow minded as you would believe the worst in any case.

“But as you’ve said it, yes, I expect you to believe that your mother was faithful to your father. You know why? Because I’m your mother, because I’ve always been there for you, stood up for you – you know when, Thomas. You have no stone to throw.”

Thomas coloured up, looked ashamed, and said nothing more. He had been caught half-dressed with a half-naked girl in the toilets at school and was almost expelled. Claire had saved him.

“But Daddy told us you slept in his room and in his bed!” stated Mary.

“I wonder how Daddy knew that? I didn’t tell him, and I’m sure John didn’t. Daddy made that up, Mary. That said, he’s absolutely right, I did.”

“There!” triumphed Mary. “You convicted yourself!”

Claire sighed with exaggerated resignation. “You really are a stupid girl sometimes Mary! I note that, not for the first time, Daddy did not tell you the whole truth. Not that he knew any of it.”

She smiled. “John gave me his room because it had an en-suite bathroom, so I would not have to walk outside my bedroom in underwear or nightwear to go to the bathroom.”

She paused for effect.

“He slept in a guest room. In the whole of the four weeks he never saw me less than fully dressed, and I never saw him either.

“For goodness’ sake children, perhaps you can’t understand this, but he lost the love of his life a few months ago, his dear wife, the woman he loved to distraction. She went out shopping one morning and collapsed and died. Can you imagine the shock of that? He is bereaved.

“And so am I. We talked and talked about Grandma and about his Elizabeth. We talked, that’s all. Oh, yes, we hugged when one of us was crying. But no more than I would have done with any of you.”

At this John spoke up. “But Mum, I don’t understand why you had to go for so long.”

“Didn’t you ask your Dad?”

“Yes. He said you were in a paddy about him shouting at you for worrying him when you were late back from Aunt Ellen’s. You were punishing him for that!”

“Oh he did, did he?” She turned to Peter with a grimace. “Not quite the whole truth again was it Peter? You’re getting good at half-truths. Will you tell him the rest or shall I?”

Peter looked worried and then angry. “You going to bring that up? Trying to turn them against me? The man you went with before me? Your ex-boyfriend who you’ve always regretted not marrying? You expect me to believe you never slept with him the whole time?”

“Yes, I do. And you know exactly why I went to him and I think you know perfectly well that I did not sleep with him. You know exactly why I went, Peter, and you could have told them, but instead you told a half truth – in fact because it was not even about me getting back late, that was a lie. They are your children: the truth, Peter.”

“Mum,” Mary pounced, “What’s all that about? Was he your boyfriend?”

“Yes.”

“And do you regret not marrying him?” she asked.

“I’m beginning to,” said Claire with resignation. “Children, you have effectively put me on trial here. I resent that very deeply. But you want the whole thing?”

The three younger ones looked shamefaced, but they all nodded.

“You asked for this Peter,” Claire glared at him. “All through our marriage, your father has been jealous. I couldn’t talk to a man at a party but he’d come hot foot to interrupt.

“I couldn’t return from shopping five minutes late without an inquisition as to where I’d been and who I’d been talking to. I got used to it. You’ve all seen that happen.”

At this Peter got up and left the room. Claire raised an eyebrow.

“He wouldn’t even let me get a job. He could have run his business from England, but chose to come back here. Why? I could have got a job teaching in England. He didn’t want me working.

“I could and did put up with his jealousy, until he did something which I still can’t believe. He’s not here so I won’t say what it was, but it was so heinous that it’s brought the whole business of his jealousy to a head.

“It was only when I visited John after I heard that his wife had died and he was in a bad way, that I learned of your Dad’s act of jealousy and deceit. So, children, I’ve finally had enough of your Father’s jealousy and his manipulation of my life.