Chapter 4: Sleeping in

It wasn’t, but it certainly felt like fifteen minutes later when someone shook me awake. I was dry for the first time in days and ravenous. Chandra knelt beside my bed with a bowl of steaming stew, a mug of ale and a large chunk of bread.

“Thank you.”

She helped me sit up and snatched a pillow from a nearby bunk to prop behind my back. “My Lord, you have to be careful that you do not do too much. If your strength would have given away while on that cliff face, you would have died,” this she said quietly but with conviction.

“You think that I should have let him die on that ledge?” I asked between mouthfuls of stew. Eating the stew was harder than it should have been. Every movement that I made took effort. My hands shook noticeably.

“Yes, My Lord. You are too important and they would not have done the same for you. Remember that we are at war with them. You just risked your life for someone that we might have to kill next month.”

“You’re probably right, but I couldn’t just stand back and watch him die there.”

“My Lord, saving a wounded man is one thing, risking your life to do so for an enemy is another.” She whispered furiously.

“So, risking my life to save anyone is not allowed?”

“No, My Lord, you are too valuable to risk,” she felt serious.

“Even you?”

She slapped my arm lightly, “I’m serious. You risk too much. You attack too much. And you treat the nobility too harshly. You need to be more careful.”

The worry in her voice caught my attention. “I’ll try.”

“No, you won’t, as soon as someone irritates you, you will lash out and stir up more trouble. Just like you did to the prince. You taunted him and forced him to try and kill you.” Her frustration and anger warred against my obstinacy.

“True, I did. Ok, I will make an effort to restrain my disdain for the idiots.”

“You just did it again.” Now she was getting mad at me. With reason, I supposed.

“What do you want from me, I said that I would make an effort and I will.”

“I want you to not antagonize so many people. That and you will have to apologize to Steven’s family and Michael’s family and Duchess Polyantha, and my father and Sister Cynthia. And probably more people that I don’t know about.”

“Wait, I’m tired but why would I have to apologize to Steven’s and Michael’s families? And your father, why him?”

“You should have introduced yourself to him, also you killed some of his men when he sent Allay to arrest you. Also, you have been traveling with me.”

“He could have sent for me,” I defended lamely. I got the sinking feeling that she was right and I had some explaining to do. “Besides, weren’t you dedicated to the temple. I didn’t know that your father was still involved.”

That got me ‘the look’.

“Ok, I admit, that was dumb. I should have talked to your father earlier.”

Looking pensive, she searched my face for something.

“What?”

“What are you going to tell my father?”

Shit.

“Tell him that is at war with Kalabar and maybe Fairview too.”

Chewing her lip, she smacked me again in the arm, this time hard. “Not that, be serious.”

“I was. You never told me what you wanted from me Chandra. I am content to be your teacher as long as you want. If you desire something more, tell me.” I refrained from rubbing my shoulder. Damn, she hits hard.

She just kept chewing her lower lip in indecision. She still wasn’t ready, at least enough to say one way or another.

“It’s ok, I’ll still be here, you don’t have to tell me right now. What time is it?” Chandra looked relieved and sad at the same time. Seeing this, I had to say something, “Chandra,” I said to get her attention. When she looked up at me, I put down my bowl of stew that she hadn’t given me much time to eat.

“I’m will be here for you when you decide. Take your time and do what you think is best for you. Ok?” Gently. I kept it gentle for her so that any pressure that she might have about what she wanted to do came from her.

The more time that I spent around this amazing young woman, the more that a long term relationship seemed inevitable and that meant marriage. I loved her, I just didn’t know if I was ‘In love with her’. Not that I considered it a bad thing, but she still had some growing up to do and she was fixated on me. For that, there was nothing that I could do. I needed someone to talk at length about her options and that could only be Mother Browynn. Hell, I needed someone to talk to regardless, the high priestess of our shared Goddess ended up being the one that I trusted the most.

No wonder that people in my time worried about the abuse of a teacher and a pupil. I can see how taking advantage of ones student would happen all too easily in a one on one relationship. That the two of us were off on our own and spent most of our waking time together didn’t help the situation at all. Sleeping hours too.

“You can ask my father to court me.”

“What?” Talk about a derailment. Here I thought that she still needed more time.

This time she said it without the blush, and hit me again, “I said that you can ask my father to court me.” This time, I did rub my shoulder.

“Ow. What did I say about hitting me? Yes, I heard you, I was just making sure that I heard you correctly. What about me as a teacher, do you want to keep me?”

Ah, that look. “I’ll take that as a yes. You never did tell me what time it is and how long I have been asleep.”

“You never asked, My Lord.”

“I’m asking now.”

“You have been sleeping since last night. It is about a candle after noon.”

Ten candles to a day so each is two point four hours. That would make it two-twenty. No wonder I am famished.

“How is Soldier Kern?”

“Are you?”

Am I, what?

I must have looked clueless, since she slapped my leg saying, “Going to ask my father.”

“Oh that, I haven’t decided.”

Apparently, that was the wrong answer, since I ended up wearing the remains of my stew on my head before she stormed off.

“Chandra.” I barked.

“What?” She stopped a few steps away but faced away from me, I could hear the tears in her voice.

“It would be a great honor for me to be allowed to court you. I apologize for being thoughtless.” I was, and not just because of my lunch dripping down my face.

“Really?” She still didn’t turn and face me.

“Really.” That was when she turned and beamed at me before she skipped to the door passing Postulant Dina on the way out.

I used my blanket to wipe off the mess that she made while Dina approached me.

“Milord, Sister Emily sent me to ask how you are doing.” Here I sat, naked using my blanket to rub food out of my hair while still coveingr my lower half with a timid Postulant looking at me expecting an explosion caused by my own Postulant.

“Tired and still hungry. Would you bring me some water to wash up with, and another bowl of stew please?” Any dignity that I might have had flew out the window with Chandra’s actions.

“Yes. Milord.” She took my partially refilled bowl and hurried off, thankful that I didn’t take Chandra’s outburst out on her.

The mug of ale and what little of the stew that I ate before she dumped it over my head helped take the edge off of my ravenous hunger. I munched on the bread until Dina returned, it at least was decent unlike the swill of ale that they offered me. Good ale, I liked, bad ale no. Unfortunately, the water tended not to be drinkable in medieval cultures unless boiled and I didn’t want to wait for that, so I suffered through the ale.

What did I really want from Chandra? I avoided this issue as much as I could since she was training under me, but she her constant presence made me think about it, repeatedly. I liked her a lot. If I was honest with myself, I would do anything for her, but did I want to get married? How would we be with each different if we married than we currently were? If not her, what serious prospects did I have in this time? Also, can Sisters marry? I thought so, but I still did not know the dynamics of the situation. We needed to talk about what she wanted from life. There was also a war that we are about to get embroiled in, and taking her into combat scared the shit out of me. I honestly don’t know how I can bring her with me except that she chose this life and this is what she wanted. Denying her, her choice of vocation felt wrong. Then there was Kassandra, Chandra dedicated herself to Her and I didn’t have the right to prevent Chandra from serving Her.

Mother Browynn and I needed to talk about what is expected of me and what I can do with and about Chandra. There just wasn’t anyone else that I could trust except for maybe Lady Janice, Chandra’s great-grandmother. Either of them would have her best interest in mind, not mine. Not that that would bother me, I would think of her first too.

Chandra practically begged me to restrain my opinions of the people that I dislike. I knew that she had a point there, I acted the part of an ‘Ugly American’ all too often. That I had the physical power to back up my arrogance only made my actions worse.

She’s right in that I owed an apology to some people, no matter how much that I believed that they were wrong. I still acted the bully. Bully was a good word.

“Milord, I have your stew and ale.” Hell, I was so lost in thought that I didn’t even hear Emily’s apprentice approach.