Chapter 8

Heather was the first to get out of our car. Sarah and I remained sitting, unsure of what to do. Both of us did not want to intrude on this moment. Heather and Harmony both needed it, to connect with each other. They embraced each other for a long time. None of them seemed willing to let go.

“This is gonna be hard,” Sarah said to me while turning around to look into my eyes. “Although they can now share their pain with each other, it will be up to us, to catch them when they fall.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“Nathan!” She said sharply. “There is no guessing. We need to be strong for both of them if this shall have any chance to work out.”

Who was this girl with steel in her eyes? Her glare penetrated me, made me shrink back into the backseat of the car. It made me feel inadequate. I knew that I was not going to be of any help. I had never been strong, neither physically nor mentally. Deep inside me, there was an enormous amount of love, waiting for me to share, but there was not the courage we needed.

“Shit!” Was all she said before she opened the door and got out of the car. Seconds later my door opened and she pushed me aside, sat next to me and closed the door.

“Nathan, listen to me,” Sarah said, more gently than before. “We need you. Heather needs you. Harmony needs you. I need you.”

I turned towards her and lay my forehead against hers.

“You care for Heather, don’t you?” She asked.

“Quite a lot.” I admitted silently.

“And you care for me?”

“I love you. With all my heart.”

“Could you love Heather?”

“I think so,” I whispered. “But that won’t diminish my love for you.”

“That’s good. You know I love you too. I’m not yet sure, what kind of love it is. That is the main reason, we won’t jump into something, we can’t undo. I hope you understand that.”

I nodded my approval.

“I was serious the other day. I would have done anything to keep you from killing yourself, anything at all, I still would if I thought it was necessary. I’m really glad that you didn’t take me up on that offer. It made me love you even more. But you need to create some space in your heart for Heather too. You are the first person to get through to the real Heather, the one she keeps hiding from everyone else. Somehow you managed to bypass all the walls she built around her core to protect it from getting even more hurt. You literally have the power to destroy her. Heather is already more than halfway in love with you. A lot of what is going to happen relies on you, no matter if you want to or not. I can shoulder some of it, as Heather and I also have a connection. But this connection is you. We can be friends or even like sisters, but you are the central point of that. If we lost you, everything else would fall apart. Open your heart and let her in, then you will find the strength inside yourself to be what she, what we, need.”

That stunned me. I was unable to say anything at all. Sarah showed insight well beyond her years. To be completely honest, I know that I used to run away from my problems. First I retreated to my room, my sanctuary from the world, I fled to my books, away from the pain of real life. When that no longer was enough, I tried to escape life itself. Whenever I could not handle a situation, I basically ran away and failed most of the time. If it came to a fight or flight decision, I would always choose flight.

“Fuck!” Did I actually say that? Yeah, I did, if I took Sarah’s reaction who was staring at me disbelievingly. “Sorry, but I don’t know how.” And then I laid it all out for her. Everything I wrote in the paragraph before, but I guess I hemmed and hawed a lot.

The Kinks once sang “I’m a lover, not a fighter”. That was exactly how I felt. Sarah and I were still sitting in the backseat, our foreheads touching when there was a knock on the window behind Sarah. The initial reunion between Heather and Harmony was obviously over. Neither Sarah nor I reacted immediately.

“Remember, you need to be strong.” Sarah whispered before touching my chin with her right hand, tilting my head upwards and placing a soft kiss on my lips, which sent shivers through my entire body. “I love you, Nathan. Heather loves you too. Open your heart and everything will be fine.” With that said, she turned around, opened the door and got out of the car. I followed her reluctantly. Whatever lay ahead of us, I was not looking forward to it.

Heather and Harmony had red eyes. Crying will do that to you. Heather first introduced Sarah as her best friend to Harmony. I have no idea why it surprised me, but Sarah immediately pulled her into a strong hug. The relief was evident on Harmony’s face. She must have feared that we thought she was responsible for what their father did to Heather.

When Heather turned to me, I was even more surprised when she introduced me as their boyfriend. The faces of Harmony and I must have shown the same surprised expression. Harmony stood rooted in place, looking from one of us to the other. Then first Sarah pulled me into a loving kiss with Heather following with a steamy one. Harmony still did not say anything, looking like a fish out of the water.

No idea what made me do it, but pulling Harmony into an embrace was the right thing for me to do. She whispered into my ear, that I should not be hoping to add her to my stable of girls. There was actually a small smile on her face when I let her go.

Fortunately, a lot of the tension was broken after the introduction. Harmony led us to her dorm room, which was empty. She told us that she had asked her roommate for some privacy today. I thought that this must usually have been used to be alone with a lover. If word got around to her roommate that Harmony entertained two girls and one guy that day, it would make for a very interesting discussion.

In her room, we were back to having awkwardness and uncomfortable silence to overcome. Starting that conversation was not easy. No one of us knew how to begin.

Today, as I am writing this, I believe that Sarah was actually the most mature and level-headed one of us. All through our visit, Sarah managed to magically say the right things to get whoever was in a funk out of it. Without her, we would not have achieved anything other than moping around and cry. My love for her only grew stronger over the course of that day. It took a lot out of her too. On our drive home, Sarah had me sit in the back, then lay down with her head in my lap and cried herself to sleep.