Chapter 5

We did not talk about anything worth mentioning that night. I had no idea what to say and Sarah had a total breakdown. In the end, I pulled her from the ground and onto my bed. There I simply held her until she fell asleep and I joined her shortly after.

What neither of us noticed, and what I would not learn about for quite some time, Sarah had not been the only person woken up by her ringing mobile phone. Sarah had not been silent in her attempt to get to my room. Mom had decided to investigate what we were up to, arriving at my room to see us lying on the floor, listening to her rambling daughter, making assumptions, coming to conclusions, watching me take Sarah to my bed, wrap her in my arms and going to sleep, taking the cutter with her when she left.

You might have noticed that she did not interfere. She merely observed. Maybe she had an inkling of what might be going on and just decided to let it go its way and hope that this might be a way to keep me with them.

Did I notice that the cutter was missing? Nope. When I crawled into bed with Sarah I was a complete mess. When I woke up the next morning with my beautiful sister in my arms, staring into my eyes, softly kissing my lips, I was a goner.

Heather rang our doorbell at 8 am and cried frantically in my arms a minute later. All I could do was hold her and wait for her to calm down. I was becoming an expert at that. Sarah and mom were watching with interest. That was a bit disconcerting. Then they started whispering with each other. I started to worry.

I won’t bore you with all this stammering and sobbing Heather did that morning. Heather was worried sick all the time after waking up, experiencing the connection with me and calling Sarah. Turns out she had expected Sarah to call her back. Obviously, she should have told Sarah.

Somehow, Heather, Sarah and I had ended up in my room. I had absolutely no idea, why those two were in my room, as they were chatting with each other while ignoring me completely. They were even talking about me as if I were not in the room.

What the fuck is wrong with girls? Or women? I even started wondering if my mom would join them. Sarah relayed to Heather what had happened last night and Heather told her in return, how she had sat next to her phone, waiting for a call that never came. Then they fell into each other’s arms and had a good cry.

How did those two manage to seemingly become BFFs within days? Well, I did not care. If they were going to form a mutual admiration society, I was not going to stop them. Heather needed a true friend and I was still very conflicted about what had happened over the last few days and my feelings.

As I did not want to intrude in their bonding experience, I left my room and went for a walk. I needed to clear my head. Everything was confusing. Every line of thought only got me to a dead end. That was exactly where I also was when Heather and my sister found me. I was sitting on a swing on a playground at the dead end of a street two blocks down from where we lived.

Sarah knew where to find me, of course. Sitting on this particular swing always managed to calm me down. I was even able to straighten out my convoluted thoughts. After considering all evidence, I was convinced that both girls’ actions towards me were simply reactions to highly emotional situations and bore no semblance of reality. When we returned to school, Heather would be back with her circle of wannabe-friends, and I would still be the suicide-freak who failed three times.

Tears were slowly running down my cheeks. I had already admitted to myself that I liked Heather, I liked her a lot. Nowhere near my feelings for Sarah, but ... yeah ... a lot. Fuck!

They walked towards me, slowly, concern written on their faces. They seemed to be unsure, maybe even afraid. Neither said a word. Stopping right in front of me, Sarah knelt down to my right and Heather to my left, each taking one of my shaking hands in their own.

It was such a strange situation. Both of them looking up to me. Two very beautiful girls. One was off-limits because she was my sister, the other totally unattainable for a social non-entity like me. Life is just a string of disappointments and pain. My sorrow was slowly dribbling out of my eyes. I wanted to scream and run.

Simultaneously they turned my hands and, while looking straight at my face, each placed a soft kiss in my palm. The touch was so light, that I barely felt it while being powerful enough to let a shiver run down my spine. And then they smiled. I felt a calm wash over me like I had never experienced before.