Chapter 22: A Day In The Life

Marcus brought out our drinks, as we sat and talked with Bosco, Teri, and the Brothers. He set each drink in front of the correct person except for the two White Russians that he set in front of me.

“I didn’t order a White Russian, Marcus.”

“I know. Blossom said to give it to you first.” He wiggled his eyebrows and smiled before walking away.

“Oh!” I recalled. Looking at my wives and friends I said, “Excuse me, I need to take care of something.”

I picked up the drinks and walked towards the bar, waving for Lynn to come with me. Once in the office we closed the door and I took out my penis and with Lynn’s help I made the two White Russians into a couple of White Paul’s. After Lynn squeezed out every last drop and cleaned me up, we went back out to the table and I gave Erin and Blossom their drinks. They both smiled, licked their lips and took a taste.

“Hmmm. It has a familiar wang to it.” Erin said.

“Nice! A “Hollywood Knights” reference!” Blossom responded, offering her big wife a high-five. Blossom stood up on her chair and looked at Marcus who was just taking a drink of cola, and she yelled at the top of her lungs.

“Yummy!”

Marcus quickly spewed his soft drink out of his nose and all over the bar.

“What was that?” I asked.

“Marcus wanted to know if a White Paul was funny or yummy.”

I must have turned twenty shades of red and my wives quickly joined in when Blossom explained to them what that meant.

We sat with Mark and listened to some good, some bad, and some really bad karaoke singers and just enjoyed the night. The Brothers kept coming over and asking Blossom to dance. Lynn and Erin sat back and even looking gloriously pregnant, they got up almost as often as Blossom to dance. I swear that Erin could clear the floor with each turn as her breasts flew around the dance floor.

I was talking to Mark about things at the TV station and about life in general, when a song ended, and Lynn came over to Mark and me.

“Oh, my. What a hunk.” Lynn exclaimed.

“Thank you, Lover.” I looked at Lynn with my chest pumped up, showing off to Mark.

“Not you daddy. Him!” Lynn pointed towards the door.

I turned around to see a tall Nordic looking guy walk in. He was handsome and well-muscled and must have had that effect on more women than Lynn. All three of my wives were nipping out and I looked over to see Teri nipping out and Bosco laughing as he pointed back at his woman’s nipples, just before she punched his arm, again.

The tall blond God walked over towards us and then turned to go to the opening to the bar and walking into it he leaned into Marcus and gave him a kiss on the lips.

“No!” Erin exclaimed.

“Is that Geoffrey?” Blossom asked.

“I think Marcus is right. He is the one.” Lynn said.

Marcus took the man’s hand and led him over to us.

“Guys, this is Geoffrey Symms. That’s Geoffrey with a G-E-O-F-F not a J-E-F-F. Geoffrey this is Erin, the owner of the bar and Lynn her wife and Blossom her wife and Paul their husband.”

Geoffrey was smiling as Marcus began introducing Erin and then the smile slowly disappeared, being replaced with an amazing expression of total confusion, as all of the family was introduced to him. We all laughed, and Marcus just shook his head.

“Darling, and you were worried about what people would think about you and me being together.”

“Did Marcus just say three wives?” Geoffrey asked.

“Are you asking me? If you are asking me, then yes, three wives.” I said, a bit confused because of the general mayhem in the room.

“If you are asking me then it is only two wives, and a husband!” Erin said with a huge smile as she explained the way the world spun in this part of the universe.

“Wow.” Geoffrey shook his head.

“Geoffrey, it is a real pleasure to meet you and I just want to be the first of my family to say that if you hurt Marcus, one of us will kill you.” The chesty blonde spoke very seriously.

“ERIN!” Marcus stood in front of Geoffrey to protect him. “I’m trying to keep him around.”

“I understand and I hope he does, too. We all love you Marcus, even Paul. And we have seen you hurt before. This is no joke, Geoffrey.” Erin was in full on mamma bear mode.

“Geoffrey, you have just met my mothers and father.” Marcus said.

“And we’re all pregnant!” Blossom said.

“I’m not!” I insisted as I raised my hand.

“And we all carry guns!” Lynn added.

“Oh shit, I am gonna die.” Geoffrey exclaimed to himself.

That cracked up the whole bunch of us. Just then Bosco and Teri came over.

“We assume that this is Jeffrey.” Bosco said gruffly.

“Bosco, that’s Geoffrey with a G-E-F-F not a J-E-F-F Geoffrey, if Paul, Erin, Lynn and Blossom are my father and mothers, then Bosco and Teri are my crazy uncle and wonderful aunt.”

“Crazy my ass.” Bosco took Geoffrey in his arms and gave him a huge bear hug. “Welcome to the family.”

“Jesus Christ! You guys are going to send him running off into the night screaming his ass off.” Marcus whined.

“Not if he loves you.” Bosco said.

“Bosco, I love me, and I’m ready to run off.” Marcus continued his whine.

I figured that I needed to step in and bring some sanity to the whole scene.

“Gang, time to back off and relax. Marcus is right, we don’t want to scare Geoffrey off.” I turned to Geoffrey, “Geoffrey, Bosco is a bit gruff and straight to the point, but he is right. Welcome to the family. And Marcus is right, we are family and we are concerned about him as a friend and as a member of our family.”

I paused for effect and then continued.

“And we do carry guns.”

I held out my hand and he took it and shook it. I asked him to sit with us and Bosco laughed as he walked away. Teri didn’t leave.

“Geoffrey, if you ever feel the need to talk to someone in this family that is not completely batshit crazy, I’m the one.” Teri patted Geoffrey on the arm.

“True. Teri is the only one of the family that is not completely out there.” I said.

She kissed me on the cheek and before she left to go back to her man, I got up and took her arm.

“Teri? When are you and Bosco going to come out to the house and have a wedding?”

“Talk to Bosco. He is reluctant. I’ll do it in a second. He has reservations.”

“Do you mind if I do talk to him?”

“No, you big goof. I just said you could.”

We shared a friendly kiss on the lips and went back to our seats.

“Well Geoffrey, you ready to make a run for it?” I asked the tall handsome man.

“Only because I don’t normally like crowds. But you people are my kind of crazy.”

“Good! Marcus!” I yelled.

“Yes, Paul?”

“Make this man a White Marcus.” I ordered.

“PAUL!” Erin hit me on the shoulder.

“What?” I was in full silly mode now. “Erin, I thought that he might like one.”

“Are you drunk already?” Erin asked, looking closely into both of my eyes.

“No. I haven’t had but one drink.” I affirmed.

“Well stop acting like a 10-yr. old.”

“Yes, Erin Mom.” I said bracing for the shoulder punch that inevitably followed.

“Are you people crazy like this all the time?” Geoffrey asked to no one in general.

“No, only around people we love. And their close personal friends.” Lynn said.

Geoffrey blushed. He actually blushed.

“Oh, Marcus, I like this guy.” Erin said before leaning over to give Geoffrey a side hug. She then spoke quietly to him.

“Geoffrey, just to let you know, it does get crazier. But also, just to let you know, if you stick around, you are going to be in the best group of loyal friends you can imagine. If Marcus hasn’t told you our story, you two should sit down with a beer or glass of wine and have a talk.”

“Ok. Um, what is a White Marcus?” He asked.

Since I was not expecting that question, I shot my beer out my nose and choking, laughed myself onto the floor. That caused my wives to laugh their asses off and Marcus to come over to see if I was ok.

“Yeah, Marcus, I’m fine. I just wasn’t expecting that question from your guy.”

“What question?” Marcus asked.

“Geoffrey asked what a White Marcus was.” I said flatly.

“Oh shit.” Marcus put both hands to his mouth.

“What did I ask that was so wrong?” Geoffrey asked.

“Come with me, dear.” Marcus pulled on his lovers arm and Geoffrey got up, following Marcus behind the bar and into the office.

A few minutes later Geoffrey came out and walked over to us. He looked at the two very pregnant women, who were still laughing, and then at my tiny Hispanic, not quite as pregnant looking wife. He looked at me and then just shook his head.

“Really?” He sounded exasperated.

“Yeah. Did Marcus tell you how it all started?” I asked.

“No, he didn’t.”

“Erin has been lactating for years. She makes a lot of milk and back when we first met, she used to make me a White Erin with her breast milk. Then when Lynn had her first set of twins and began lactating, she made us White Lynns. Then when my lovely tiny wife Blossom here had her set of twins, she made all of us White Blossoms and today Erin asked me to make her a White Paul. Which I did when we got here.”

“I’m not really comfortable with all this. I think I am going to take off.” Geoffrey was clearly embarrassed, so Lynn stepped in as the voice of reason.

“Oh, Geoffrey, I’m sorry if we pushed you over the edge. We are more open than most people in the world. We have 12 children between us, with at least five more on the way. Inside our marriage, we are completely dedicated to our children and our spouses. Sometimes we forget that others don’t get us. I’m sorry. It’s just that Marcus has been hurt in the past and we are all a bit protective of him. He is one of the finest people we know. If you are lucky enough to remain with him you will know that as well. Please don’t leave on our account. We promise to behave.”

“I didn’t come out until this last winter.” Geoffrey admitted. “Both of my parents passed away last year, and they didn’t know, but after they passed it made no sense to hide my feelings about men any more. I’m just not used to being so open about sex. The White Marcus thing is funny but a bit more personal and intimate than I am used to.”

“Yeah we take a bit of getting used to.” Lynn admitted.

“Wait. Did you say 12 kids?” Geoffrey asked.

“Yes.” Lynn said as Erin walked up to them.

“It used to be 13.” Erin answered quietly.

“You those guys. I was on that run. I got the two guys who were dead. One of the other EMTs told me everything that happened. I’m so sorry for your loss.” Geoffrey was noticeably sad.

“We’ve gotten over the loss, but not the memory.” Erin said as she took Lynn into her arms.

“I heard you guys had some sort of strange family situation. One of the cops was saying that DFS should take a look at your situation. That it had to be illegal. Did anything ever come of that?”

“DFS let the kids stay with us but visited regularly while Paul was in the hospital. The case worker saw that the kids were safe and loved. But she retired and her replacement paid us a visit, because of a complaint from another source, but that went away as well.” I answered Geoffrey’s question.

“Geoffrey, I don’t want to scare you or chase you away and I don’t want to speak out of turn, but IF you and Marcus end up staying together, we must have you out to the house for a BBQ.” Lynn said.

“I’d like that. And between you and me, I think that Marcus is the one.” He spoke softly to the wives.

Erin practically glowed when she heard that and released her redheaded wife and made a valiant effort to hug the man who she realized could be a God, but only for Marcus.

We laughed and had a good time with Marcus and Geoffrey. Before we left, we promised a weekend BBQ so Marcus could bring his guy and we could intimidate the shit out of him some more and make sure that he was good enough for Marcus. Geoffrey took it in stride and actually took a shot of his own.

“I hope at some point you will look out for me and see if Marcus is good enough for me.”

“Oh, darling. Did you just make a joke about us and our relationship? I’m in love.” Marcus kissed Geoffrey on the lips in front of God and everybody, causing Geoffrey to blush bright red.