Chapter 9: Church Going

That night he had her write something else on her chest. She didn’t fight him on it at all. The words “cheating slut” stared back at her as she soaped up her chest in the shower that Sunday morning. That night he told her to reward herself for her compliance by masturbating while whispering, “I’m a cheating slut.” over and over again. She complied. Her brain felt like mush, but her cunt was sopping wet only minutes in as she thought about all the nasty things she’d done. But she couldn’t let herself cum. He had told her not to cum for at least an hour and had her put on the heart rate monitor to be certain. She wasn’t sure if she’d been able to comply with the full hour because she’d tumbled out of control over the edge into orgasmic bliss as she chastised herself again and again.

Sunday morning meant dressing up for church. Piper put on a summer dress with frilly shoulders that was long and modest in baby blues and flowers. She wore a thin white cardigan in cashmere over top. She assumed she wasn’t going to be permitted to wear a bra and she’d been correct, but it was fine. After all no one was going to be staring at her like the boys in class anyway.

She got into the car and didn’t say a word to her father all morning. It wasn’t the “songs” she’d listened to that caused her to give him the cold shoulder. It was her other instructions.

“Good morrow, my lovely pet. It is time to play another game! You must know by now that you are in full bloom, your body is so ripe and fertile ready to be plowed. Every boy in your school looks at you in lust and you know first hand what they want to do to you. Every day you ignore it and pretend not to notice, but not today.

Fear not lovely pet, you won’t be getting into a massive orgy, not yet. But today since every man dreams of taking your fresh young body and despoiling it with their seed, you are going to imagine it. That is all. Simply a fun game of imagination. Each time you speak to a male, you must imagine all the dirty things he wants to do to you or - if you wish - all the dirty things you’d like him to do. Ah, the minds of boys and men. So full of pleasure and without consequence. It should be so much fun.”

Her father gave her a few glances in the rearview, but Piper kept her gaze fixated on the road. She couldn’t bear to even look at him. Not today.

At church, she went straight up to the front pews, her parents in tow. They exchanged curious glances, but didn’t say anything to Piper, who’d turned pages in the Bible to the section listed in the sermon. She listened with rapt attention to the preacher speaking first about the ravages of sin, then praising the meek. Meek like her. She was obedient, she was meek, and she could be redeemed. She listened as he spoke about the importance of following Christian leadership and veered political. The modern day overtones, didn’t register with Piper. She just knew that she could be faithful and obedient and any trials that she had to face would be fine as she could always be redeemed in the end. Her lips quivered and she smiled at Father Hazel.

During the service, she turned as all were instructed to shake hands and offer the peace of the lord to each other. She offered it to women as best she could, though one older man shook her hand and they exchanged, “Peace be with you” with him. She assumed from the look of him that he’d probably want a blow job, so she pictured curling up between his legs as the service continued.

By the end of the service, she’d returned to being enraptured with Father Hazel and her mother was quite impressed with how affected she seemed to be by the sermon.

“That was a pretty good sermon, huh, honey?”

She nodded, “Yeah. It really spoke to me, you know?”

Her mother held her hand, and Piper squeezed her tight. The pair moved out towards the snacks as her father put his hand on her shoulder, but she slid away.

“Honey-” he started to ask in consternation.

“Piper?” her mother said.

“One sec, mom, I’ll meet you at the snacks,” Piper walked away from them in the opposite direction of the crowd. Her parents decided to give her space, though they had growing concerns over her odd behavior. Seeing her head off in the direction of the confessional, her mother stopped her father from going after her and they gave her space.

She hadn’t been thinking of where to go, and there was no on in the confessional to listen to her even if she thought to go in. Instead she just leaned against it and hid for the moment.

“Piper Embrie, as I live and breathe,” it was the clear voice of Father Hazel, “I haven’t seen you in the front row since confirmation.”

“Hello father,” she looked down. She knew what she had to be thinking about. It was strange that it came so easily. She’d be dressed in a catholic school girl uniform and he’d be ready to discipline her.

“Is something troubling you?” he asked as she pictured his hand pulling off her shirt and finding her small breasts and teasing her.

“No, father. I’m fine.”

“Well are you sure you want to stand around here? I think some of the mini donuts have sprinkles today,” he was always so kind and pleasant to talk to. He’d probably be the kind of lover to make sure she’d feel pleasure first before taking her.

“I’m not really hungry,” she said, still unable to look at him as she imagined his fingers sliding into her panties.

“Would you ... like to avail yourself of confession?”

She didn’t say anything while she wondered about how big his thing was and if it was big enough to hurt like Jamal’s was.

“How about this? I’m going to step in here and you can do whatever you wish. You can come in, or you could just go for snacks. Either way is fine with me and fine with Him.” He unlocked the door and slid into the confessional booth.

She looked at the door with straining desires. The chance to unburden herself was so tempting. Maybe she could get it all out. But she knew He was listening. Not the holy He, but the unholy He. And she knew if she went in there, she’d have to fantasize about all the things he was probably thinking about. Catholic priests got in so much trouble for abusing their young charges. Even the good ones were probably plagued with lusts. Lust like the kind she was imagining he’d have for her. He’d probably take out his thing and rub it if she told him all the nasty things she’d done. Her fingers touched the knob, but she hesitated.

At last she pushed her way in and sat down.

“Forgive me father for I have sinned,” she began.

“How long has it been since your last confession?”

“Three weeks father.” So much had happened.

“Go ahead, my child.”

“I’ve sinned so much father,” she began, but her phone buzzed.

She checked it, but all it said was, “Do not speak of me.”

“Father, I’ve ... drank alcohol. And I’ve engaged in lustful acts.”

He did not speak, allowing her to continue.

“I took drugs, and I engaged in ... I mean, I performed, um, sexual acts. Father, please, can I be forgiven for doing this? For being a dumb ... slut.” It was getting harder to breathe evenly.

“These are difficult sins child. Do you feel remorseful for your actions?”

“I’m not done, father,” this counted as talking to a man, so she imagined what he might want to do with her, bending her over a table in the rectory. “These acts, they were with several boys ... at the same time. And ... I’ve been pleasuring myself. Pleasuring myself while thinking about my daddy. I didn’t want to, father, but I had to, I am so sorry father. And I stopped wearing bras and I play with my nipples in school to keep them hard, father I’m so sorry.”

She heard his intake of breath and he cut her off, “Stop, stop child. You don’t need to give me details.”

“Sorry Father,” she apologized as she imagined his thick cock sliding inside and out as they smashed bodies.

“It’s clear you’ve succumbed to sins of lust. It’s important to remember that these pleasures are meant for the marital bed. Remember this and take care to love the husband God has planned for you and honor him by remaining pure.”