Chapter 47

“Because I didn’t cross universes to return to life, simply to die again.”
—G.S. Jennsen, Requiem

I WOKE UP on July Fourth with a wet shoulder. Em was crying and by the amount of slobber and tears on me, she must have been crying for a long time. Her hair was stringy and didn’t seem to be clean. I’d never seen Em not taking care of herself. I petted her and held her while she sobbed against me.

“I don’t want to go! Why do they make us leave everything and go do fucking service? I don’t want to go!”

“It will be okay, sister. I promise. We’ll survive.”

“But I don’t want to be away from you. What will happen if you have a nightmare? Or if I do? I’m scared, J. I don’t want to go.”

I didn’t want her to go, either. She’d start her service on Monday and I wouldn’t see my beloved sister for weeks. It tied my stomach in knots. And it wasn’t just missing her naked body waking up next to mine. Em was beautiful and sleek and we had no barriers between us—except intercourse. We’d become comfortable together and I would ache when she was gone.

And the nightmares. Who would wake me up?

I took her by the hand and instead of dressing to go running, I led her to the bathroom and started the shower. It might sound like sleeping together was something that was normal in our family, but we were discreet. Mom certainly suspected something was up and I’m sure Pey knew her sister didn’t always spend the night in the same room, but our schedules, even in summer, were such that we could usually slip out without alerting the family that we’d been naughty together. But I’d never taken my sister into the shower with me. Yes, I kissed her and fondled her. She returned those gestures enthusiastically. But I took our time in the shower to gently wash her body, shampoo her hair, and generally pamper her.

My cock slipped up and down her ass crack as I fingered her to an approaching orgasm.

“It would be so easy,” she said as she squeezed me with her cheeks. “So easy to make love. So easy to show you how much I love you. And so dangerous. I can’t. I mustn’t.” She seized up around my fingers and my cock jetted against her back. We held each other tightly, whispering words of love. Then we rinsed and joined the family for a late breakfast on this holiday.

Rachel and her family joined us for a cookout in the afternoon. We all had fun and went off to see the baseball game and post-game fireworks. I was bracketed in my seat. By Rachel and Em. Nothing unusual about that until I started to raise my hands to cheer a play and discovered I held a hand in each.

Rachel looked over at Em’s and my joined hands and Em squeaked and started to pull away. Rachel reached over to stop her. She pulled Em toward her in front of me so that only the three of us could hear her.

“It’s okay, Em,” she said. “I’m used to sharing Jacob with his other girlfriends. And I’ve gathered enough to know there is something very special between the two of you. Please don’t think I’ll be jealous of you and please don’t be jealous of me. Sister.”

I never in a thousand years expected my sister to lean across me and kiss my girlfriend.

It didn’t hit me until Saturday. Rachel and I had been back in class on Friday the fifth as if the holiday hadn’t existed. The subject of the day was ellipses. The equations weren’t that difficult once you learned the pattern. Algebra is about defining the function, though, and I got a little distracted with figuring the surface area. That wasn’t part of the lesson and Rachel gave me a dig in the ribs to get me focused back on the subject at hand.

I’d done my driving practice with the instructor on Tuesday and when he’d noted the signatures of my mother, he told me I didn’t need any more driving time in class until the exam but to keep driving with my mother. So, Friday night after the regular class, Rachel and I went out. We grabbed a sack of tacos and drinks and headed out to Eagles’ Park where we spread out a blanket, swatted a few mosquitoes, and settled down to eat. I guess I must have let my thoughts drift because Rachel reached over and touched my hand to get my attention.

I got lost in her deep green eyes. I wished a hundred times that V1 had been brave enough to talk to her—to ask her out. But that’s what this second youth was for, right? Correcting mistakes. I pulled her to me and kissed her.

“She’s leaving Monday, isn’t she?” she whispered as I held her.

“Yeah. Has to report to the intake center at eight o’clock a.m. I’m really ... Shit.”

“You need to spend this weekend with your family. With your sister. J, anyone who sees the two of you can tell there is more than a family connection.”

“We haven’t...”

“Shh. It doesn’t make a difference what you have or haven’t or what you do or don’t. Now or ever. I can only dream that you see the same love in my eyes when I look at you that everyone can see in hers when she looks at you. And before you say anything else, know that I am thrilled to see the same look in your eyes when you look at me as when you look at her.”

“Life is so different than I expected it to be,” I sighed. “You are more than any man should expect or deserve in a lover. There’s no reason for me to be interested in Em. Or in Joan, or Desi, or Beca.”

“Or Brittany,” Rachel laughed.

“What?”

“Oh, my dear, sweet love,” she said. “That little girl hides behind ‘I’m only fourteen,’ but who did she want to turn fifteen with? You are about to be snowed over.”

“Oh, really, Rachel? Why can’t it just be you and me?”

“With her age, Brittany is going to be another year behind us in National Service. That means that Joan and I will have to take charge of her while you and Beca and Desi serve your terms. It all works out. Everything works out, boyfriend.”

“But...” It just wasn’t the way things worked in my world. A guy was supposed to have one woman and spend his life with her. God knows, I tried. I wasn’t that successful at it, with either Rebecca or Renie. Why should I expect that to be different this time?

“And just so you know, Jacob, as long as you are loving to us and not ignoring us, none of us are going to go around accusing you of cheating when you play around with someone else. And that includes your sister.”

“How about you?” I asked. This was the concern I’d had all along. “Are you going to play around with others?”

“Mmm. Maybe. I know, though, that I’ll never find someone who could offer me what you and Beca do. Yeah. You two are like the leaders of our family. I am so thankful that you are able to accept her. It was the first great test of our family. But we’re still in our mid-teens. We have the rest of high school, National Service, and college to get through before we even begin to settle into a family unit. I don’t think anyone should be afraid to satisfy our needs until then ... and even after if we can truly become a family. Jacob, if it comes to that, we’ll accept Emily, too.”

I spent the weekend with the family and I was glad I did. Emily was still morose but seemed resigned to the inevitable. At least we aren’t choosing random teens to go to a war that they might not return from. That was the ‘60s. And the ‘50s. And the ‘40s. I was sure the next two years would be hard, but based on her NSO test and her SAT, she was eligible to apply for a logistics management track after basic. I think it was the immediate uncertainty that plagued most inductees these days. They reported to the intake center and were shipped out to basic training. There were now fifteen basic training camps scattered around the US and a kid didn’t know which one he or she would be headed to until they got on the bus.

There was a specific list of what she could and could not bring to basic that was similar to what soldiers are to take to military basic. NS basic was not the same as military, in fact, if you were going into a military branch, you went to military basic after NS basic. Em’s basic training would be focused on fitness and getting used to a regimen that a lot of teens had never experienced. It would also be a time when instructors evaluated candidates for various NSOs and made a decision on where to send you next.

A mini-industry had grown up in the past five years. There was a store at the mall where you could simply buy your kit for basic complete. And they weren’t all the same. Underwear came in various colors. Shirts and blouses were available in different styles and colors. There was a choice between kinds of slacks and jeans, and even a selection of different brands of personal items like shampoo and tampons. What’s more, they had appropriate duffles and even showed Em how to pack it most efficiently. Of course, she could add a few personal things, like her own hairbrush, and had to add things like prescriptions and glasses. But mostly, she had everything she needed packed in a bag.

Em looked at her cellphone and tossed it on the bed next to her open duffle bag.

“I might as well just leave it,” she said.

“You can’t make calls?” I asked, horrified. I’d anticipated that I’d still be getting text messages and phone calls while my sister was away.

“According to the booklet, they take your phone when you get to camp and don’t give it back for a week. Then you can make calls during scheduled call time, which is limited. You can’t go on social media during basic. You have to keep your phone locked up at all times except designated call times.”

“Well, at least take the phone for then. I’ll try not to flood your inbox with text messages. But if you want to give me your Facebook log-in and password, I’ll post a weekly update from you. I mean, if you want.”